He never realized that when he had boasted that he learned best by doing things, that a certain purple haired kunoichi was nearby. - Forgotten History of Famous Figures, Vol 2
A Naruto fanfic by Skelethin
Naruto wished he could go back and stop himself from opening his big mouth. Not that him talking himself into trouble wasn't unusual, the current source of trouble was.
He dodged another pair of kunai, deflecting a third.
And it wasn't like he minded the extra attention.
He created three clones to help block the near-wall of shuriken that came at him from behind.
He had long ago decided that some attention was better than no attention.
His clones got forcibly dispersed as the whirlwind of his attacker launched the four of them in different directions.
But this is NOT what he had in mind.
Returning to a crouch after rebounding off the tree he had been launched at, he did a quick search for his current 'helper', as she had taken to calling herself.
Not that he would call trying to kill him with more pointy objects than he EVER wanted to see again helping.
A quick jump launched him over the trio of senbon needles that had been aimed at his neck. Two more clones popped into existence as he tried to get away. Only to be met with a fist to his face.
And he was beginning to wish that he hadn't tried to ditch Ebisu-sensei. Even if he was a closet pervert.
The punch launched him backwards into one of his clones that instantly disappeared. The second one followed suit to a volley of shuriken.
Not that he had really 'ditched' anyone. The man was skilled. For a closet pervert.
Before he could recover from his landing, he found a kunai to his neck.
But when had whined, rather loudly, that he didn't do teaching, and he was MUCH better when doing...
Things went straight to hell.
In the form of Mitarashi Anko, of course.
Said hell-given-flesh that was currently holding a kunai to his neck. And giggling.
"Better. You nearly lasted nearly a minute that time." The glint in her eye told him that 'nearly a minute' was not nearly enough.
She stepped back to allow him to stand up and catch his breath. She even put her kunai away. Not that he could see where she put it. She wasn't wearing a kunai holster, anyway.
He had barely caught his breath before he heard the phrase that set him to cursing.
At first, it was more of a joke. She hadn't even seriously considered training anyone when she laughed Ebisu away from the boy.
Then he started mouthing off. Saying how he great he was going to be. How great he was. She told him to prove it.
He ate dirt instead.
But he just got back up are started mouthing off again, saying something about 'crazy knife lady' and 'cheating'. She wasn't really paying attention. She just beat him down again.
And then got back up. And she put him back down. And he got back up - again.
Each time with a cocky grin and far too much cheer. It started driving her nuts. So she did what she told Ebisu she was going to do.
She trained him.
By beating the living tar out of him.
And he got better. The kid wasn't lying when he said he learned better by doing. Sure, he wasn't learning like some cheating Uchiha might, but it was still damn impressive.
So she upped the ante, and tried to drive him into the ground. Beat him until he would give up. Surrender. Quit.
But quit didn't seem to be in his vocabulary. Neither was surrender, she learned. No matter how many times she held that kunai to his neck, he would still never utter the word. Not once.
Three days of almost non-stop fighting later, he finally won. It was cheap, underhanded, and would not have worked if he had been almost anyone else, or if she had enough sleep, but he won. So she gave him the day off.
She would never tell him it was so she could catch up on some sorely needed sleep.
If there was one thing about Naruto that Anko would be able to tell you years later, it was that he simply didn't know the meaning of the words 'give up'.
And, despite the fact that he wore bright orange and was loud as hell, he DID know what stealth was.
And how to set traps.
She made the mistake of 'giving him a head start'. Once. It was the last time she was going to do that.
She had stopped paying attention to him for less that a minute. And he had simply disappeared.
And then she started finding the traps. And the traps within the traps.
He had turned the little section of forest that she was 'training' him in into one, massive, daisy-chained death trap.
And it was all she would do to not get caught in one of the many explosions, or volley of kunai or shuriken, or senbon, or rocks, or...
She lost track of exactly what she was dodging a while ago. All she knew is that it kept coming. And coming.
Naruto was laughing his ass off sitting in the tree in the middle of the area that Anko had marked out as his 'training ground'. He was watching as the 'demonic snake lady' was currently running through his recently laid 'Gauntlet - o - Traps'.
He knew she was going to all but kill him for this, but it was well worth it. She had been basically doing that for almost the past week anyway, so that was nothing new. But seeing her hopping around, dodging trap after trap like some demented bunny rabbit on speed, was worth it.
And the fact that the traps had stopped throwing anything even close to lethal a while ago hadn't caused her to slow her pace. It might of had something to do with the fact that she would have been covered in all the colors of the rainbow plus three if she had. Or maybe it was the eggs? Or could it be the stink bombs? He didn't know. He was hoping that she managed to get hit by the tar 'n feather balls near the end...
He laughed again as he thought about what she would look like getting hit by those. And nearly fell out of his tree when he heard a voice behind him.
"Whats so funny, runt?"
She wasn't sure what was worse, the fact that her newest coat was in ruins, or that it was a genin responsible.
So she just took the easy way out and blamed it all on him. The fact that she found him nearly falling out of a tree laughing had only made things easier.
"What so funny, runt?"
He nearly fell the rest of the way out of the tree trying to face her.
She didn't bother to let him. She just smirked and toasted his beloved orange eyesore of a jacket to ashes.
He could only gape in response.
If he thought she was really trying before, he was in for a rude awakening.
The toasting of his poor jacket was just the start. She soon made it her goal to burn every inch of orange off of him before the day ended.
And she did, too.
Didn't stop him from accusing her of cheating since he knew no way to counter her fire jutsu.
So she taught him an elementary excuse for a Suiton jutsu to shut him up. It did, for a while.
Until he realized exactly how shitty the jutsu was in practical use, much less moving combat.
He could now put out a campfire without a bucket. Big deal. Didn't help when she was throwing Fire Dragons at him. She just told him to deal with it.
So he did. He messed with it. Experimented. Tried every which way he could think of, and some he probably shouldn't have. It backfired on him more times than he could count.
But the one time he did get it to work left both of them shocked at the results.
The only thing Naruto had to compare it to was that Great Waterfall Explosion that Kakashi-sensei had used on Zabuza those months ago.
But that would be like comparing a mountain with a mole hill.
She was stunned, and with good reason.
First off, it had taken her two full weeks to beat the kid down enough that he was only wearing scraps for clothes.
Second, it had taken her this long to realize that he had a seal that was seriously fucking up his chakra control. The fact that he had managed to keep popping out Kage Bunshin in that condition astounded her. There was no way she would have been able to keep putting out as many the kid had been with that seal on.
Not that it was likely that she would have been able to keep putting them out in the quantities that he kept doing in the first place, but that wasn't the point. She would have been pushed to her limit to keep it up for a full day like he did. She didn't even want to think about doing it with a seal fucking with her chakra.
So she dragged him off to the Sandaime, on the excuse that he needed new clothes and there was no way in hell she was buying them.
Which wasn't a lie, really. She had burned, shredded, or mauled her way through every outfit the kid owned.
It was too bad that he just got another one of those stupid orange outfits. At least this time it wasn't an ugly jumpsuit. The slightly loose orange pants and wider sleeved, loose hooded jacket looked better on him. It even had some black on it.
It wasn't as good as a trench coat with fishnet, but she gave it a reasonable second.
Too bad it, too, would be in tatters before the end of the week.
It was one of the first times he had taught her. Given, he had just discovered it himself, but that was of little importance. It was something even she didn't know.
Handseals were suddenly thrown into a new light. And it wasn't very pretty.
She was once again in the process of beating him down, and had tossed another Fire Dragon at him in hopes of working on her newest hobby, burning orange clothes. Only he had responded with a sealless Water Dragon that completely blew hers away.
She had always suspected it was possible. Eliminating handseals in techniques was rather common. It was something of a status symbol to be able to reduce certain jutsu to a single handseal.
But he proved that it all was a crutch. In less than three weeks, this little runt of a blonde had completely rewritten jutsu for her. Before there was that immovable barrier, that wall that no one could surpass. And she would know, with her teacher being the jutsu-obsessed freak that he was, if there was such a short cut.
But he again did the impossible. First time he had just beaten her. Given, she was nearly exhausted, but it was still a major feat. Then he pulled the god-only-knows-how-big water blast from a jutsu that was only supposed to be able to put out a camp fire. And now he does one of the most complicated Suiton jutsu she had ever heard of without a handseal. And he didn't know the handseals for it either.
If she had any traces of regret for taking over for the overly stuck-up Ebisu, they were completely washed away now. In a quite literal sense.
Her jacket was washed off by what was left of the Water Dragon, leaving her in all her fishnet glory.
Dodge, jump back, launch shuriken.
Twist to the side. Send out snakes from her sleeve. Deflect the shurkien.
Dodge snakes, flip over a kick. Launch a blast of water at the incoming fire ball.
Summon a pair of snakes to get some room. Launch some more fire balls to try and keep the room gained.
Summon water clones to dice the snakes. Break the clones to blow away the fire balls, and CHARGE!
Dodge, spin, kick. Twist and hold. Pull close.
"Dango, and I win again, brat." She smirked, holding a kunai to his neck. Only for the boy to vanish and surround her in a whirlwind of water.
"If I have told you once, you crazy bitch, I have told you a hundred times. Ramen. And I win." She only smirked. And then turned into mud.
Cursing, he threw himself away from what was left of the clone. Only to have to dodge another hail of kunai.
"Dango, and you'll have to try harder than that."
Snakes, earth rises to her call.
Another blast of water. A Water Dragon rises in defense, surrounding the orange figure.
"Thats what you think. And Ramen is better."
Water and Earth clash. Nothing remains.
Silence for a hairsbreath. Then movement.
Shuriken. Kunai. Senbon.
Dodge, twist spin, pull. Throw, deflect.
The dance continues.
"I can't win, can I?" Naruto asks with another kunai against his neck.
"Nope." Her cheerful grin nearly drove him crazy. Had driven him, was going to... ARGGH! He didn't know anymore!
Though there was a lot he did know. Now. If you had told him that in less than a month he would be willing to go toe to toe with a Special Jounin, much less one as crazy as Anko, he would have agreed with a grin - then sneak through your stash to find whatever drugs you were on.
If you told him that he would be able to push them to their limit? He would have personally escorted you to the building with the nice, padded rooms. And he hates that building.
But then if you told that he would be all but living off dango for several weeks, he would have told you were you could go shove that idea. In a very loud, and well carrying, voice. Not that he had much choice in the matter.
He had to beat his 'sensei' in order to be able to eat ramen. And he had only managed to do that three times so far.
The first was with a rather ingenious plan. The fact that she was completely worn out from three days of sparring had nothing to do with it. Or his following day off.
The second was that really, really big water blast. He wasn't sure if it was the water or the fact that she had somehow lost most of her clothes. He didn't really care, either.
The third was when he again washed her clothes right off her body.
That was when he finally got the hang of those silly Suiton jutsu. Though her mumbling about handseals had kind of scared him.
She told him later that she had never, ever, seen a jutsu used without hand seals. He just shrugged it off. It wasn't like he had ever seen one without handseals either. And there was the fact that he had just finished doing just that.
He still didn't see what was so great about Dango. At least it was better than vegetables.
"So, brat, who is the unfortunate sap that gets to face you in the finals?"
It was one of the first times she asked about anything beyond the immediate. Naruto had all but forgotten what he was training for anymore. Three weeks of getting his ass handed to him hourly had kind of overridden anything besides the now.
But the little comment brought back a torrent of memories, of the Forest, of Gaara, of Lee, of Hinata, of Neji... His eyes narrowed. Neji was going to pay. And he was first up on the list.
"Neji." The tone was cold. Far colder than Anko was used to from the hyperactive ninja. It even sent a small chill up her spine.
"I take it you want to beat him." It was rhetorical, even Naruto could hear it in her tone. Didn't stop him from sending her a glare that promised much more than 'beating him'. She just smirked.
"Oh? So just beating him isn't on your agenda? How about some overkill?" She frowned as Naruto's face scruched up in concentration.
"Overkill is like leveling an entire city block to cover up a broken window." She smirked as she saw the understanding dawn on his face. It turned into an evil grin when he started cackling.
"Good. Now I am going to teach you one more jutsu. And lets see if you can do to this what you did with the last one, hmm?"
It wasn't big. But then, the last one didn't start out big either . It was more to get him used to the element. To learn the key of coaxing it out of his chakra.
It wasn't an easy element to use. Water he at least had a reference point for. But this was more insubstantial. Not as bad as Wind might have been, though that might have been easier. He had wanted something that countered her Earth techniques. So he got it.
Now if he could just stop shocking himself with the damn thing.
Anko was sitting on a rock next to the orange clad wonder, amazed at exactly how many times he could knock himself out with a jutsu that barely had enough juice to stun. Maybe teaching him that Raiton jutsu hadn't been such a good idea...
'Bah,' she thought, 'if there is anyone who can make this work, it's this brat. Now he just needs to stop hitting himself with it.'
But that would mean that he would be hitting her with it... She shuddered at the thought. With the amount of juice the boy was likely to be putting into it, she would be lucky to still be awake(or alive). But that was kind of the point, wasn't it? Overkill kinda was supposed to hurt...
Easy was something it was not. But then, Naruto wasn't used to things being easy in the first place.
When he had first tried coaxing something out of that water technique, it was hard. It flowed, washed up, down, and away. Right into his control. And then out of it again. But he beat it. It helped having seen Kakashi-sensei use those techniques against Zabuza. It showed him a few ways it could be harnessed.
But the Raiton was a whole different ball game.
It was sharp. Precise. And yet it wasn't. One second he had it, the next there was nothing. There was a flow, but nothing like he had learn to hold with the Suiton. The current was wrong. It lacked the ebb or flow to the technique like he had gotten used to with Suiton. That type of control did absolutely nothing.
He tried going back over his attempts with the Suiton jutsu, trying to figure out how to get it to respond in a similar way.
But it wasn't similar.
He nearly put himself in a coma to realize that.
After that, it was only a matter of time.
Too bad time was the one thing he was running out of. Quickly.
But the approaching deadline only reinforced his need to figure it out.
After all, if he didn't, that meant the snake bitch would win again. And then he would never get any ramen.
When she had told him overkill, he thought it would be like he did with his clones against that Mizuki bastard. And the comparison she gave put it in the same realm.
If he had known...
If either of them had known...
He was sure they would have been a LOT further from the village.
They were already running out of training grounds to use. They (or he, rather) had been destroying at least one every couple of days since they both started using jutsu - even faster after he had learned to use Suiton.
But when he finally pulled something out of that Raiton jutsu...
He simply didn't have words.
Neither did Anko. Who had barely managed a Kawarimi to behind him before it went off.
The ANBU that showed up in response to the attack on the village didn't say much either.
But then what do you say to several acres of forest that looked like it got hit with a single lighting bolt?
He would likely never be the most elegant of fighters, she decided, dodging yet another volley of kunai.
He seemed to be the opposite of everything her teacher had always strove to make her.
She swerved to avoid another hail of senbon hastily thrown.
He wasn't precise.
She released a hail of fire balls at what she suspected was a bunch of clones.
He wasn't controlled. Not really.
She cursed, dodging the dual blasts of the Water Dragons he launched in response.
But then, he didn't need to be.
A pair of summons to distract. A third to attack.
Most ninja, like her sensei, trained themselves to be like swords. Sharp and precise.
She descended on the mass of clones with a vengeance.
And if she was anyone else, she would have tried to make him fit that mold.
Cursing, she dodged yet another Water Dragon as she finished clearing out a horde of clones.
Problem was, he didn't fit that mold. But then, neither did she.
Tired of running, she unleashed a pair of fire dragons to chase him back.
If she had to compare herself to a weapon, it would probably be an axe.
An Earth Dragon quickly followed. As did a pair of her own clones.
Sharp, but not necessarily precise. But still damn effective.
Only to run into a small river worth of water.
But if she had to compare Naruto to a weapon, there was only one thing she could think of.
Dodging the massive stream of water that had come from nowhere, she pushed on to her target.
A Titan's Hammer. Because only two things happened when they struck.
A quiet crackling sound was her only warning.
You either weathered the storm.
A blinding flash consumed all she could see.
Or you were smashed to pieces.
A/N: And heres the first chapter of a little fic that Surrarin inspired a while back. Special thanks to St. Alicon and Nightelf for editing, those on the irc channel for putting up with me, and Fosfor(Case13) for his story that helped inspire this one(Chaos Soldier on TFF)