Title: Eating for Two
Author: Seraphim Grace
Archive: /taliasen1256.html, www.Seraphim-grace.. If you want it ask.
Feedback: Always appreciated and replied to.
Rating: PG. Ed's potty mouth.
Pairings: RoyxEd
Warnings: Mangaverse, spoiler

It started with an overheard conversation between Ed and Riza where Hawkeye had commented that Ed was getting a little pudgy. Roy was reassured that both Elric brothers treated her like an older sister and confided all their worries in her, and knew they would take her teasing without resulting to temper tantrums or looking for her 9mm. Roy had seen the two blondes coming, and not in the mood for nagging about his inability to find the philosopher's stone for him or his inability to do all of his paperwork to her high standards he had ducked into an alcove and overheard almost the entire conversation.

"I can't help it," Ed said in relation to his new weight gain, "Al is forcing all sorts of things into me, making sure I nap enough."

"Oh well," Riza said, "I can understand that, I mean you are eating for two."

And Ed laughed and as the colour drained from Roy's face and he mouthed the words "eating for two."

He slipped back to his office and started to think about it, Ed was putting on weight because he was "eating for two", normally he'd shrug it off with the words Ed's a boy, and well, they'd only had sex once, and well he knew, intellectually, that was enough it was still a horrifying prospect. He wasn't ready to be a father, and the concept that Ed might have had sex with someone else saw him snap his pen in his hand and having to root around in his drawers for another one, so Ed hadn't obviously, but Ed was a boy.

Yet Ed had done human transmutation that saw his brother's soul fastened to a suit of armour by what was in truth a bloody squiggle, so it was entirely possible that he had female organs, but who would declare him pregnant? He couldn't have gone to the normal army medics, because of the questions that would have been asked, so he would have had to go to Dr Knox.

Roy considered going to Dr Knox and threatening to burn him alive to get the truth of the matter. Dr Knox, however, could be trusted to take the secret to the pyre so that put paid to that idea.

He considered for a whole moment asking Hawkeye and then killed that idea dead.

There must be a reason, he thought, that Ed didn't tell him, perhaps he had thought that Roy would deny everything, and Ed had this attitude where if he couldn't do it himself then he considered that it couldn't be done, but he didn't realise he didn't have to do this alone.

Roy clutched his new pen tightly and made the decision, he would do right by Ed, he would propose and stand by the father of his child. Doodling on his blotter he decided if it was a boy he would talk Ed into calling him Maes, and they would teach him to be an amazing alchemist that would make the name Mustang proud.

He would be involved in each step of the process, he would be there with Edward at Dr Knox's for each examination, to hold his hand through the birth, once that was agreed upon, he would even take his turn changing diapers.

He would go to see Ed and propose. He tapped his pen against his mouth, no, he thought, he would invite him out to dinner, it showed willing because feeding Ed was a feat in and of itself even before this, and would propose. It left him with another dilemma, would Ed hit him if he got him a ring.

Roy got Hawkeye to book him a table at the most expensive and exclusive restaurant in central and to invite Edward, and to have him dress nicely.

Ed, however, showed up at his office an hour before their reservation with steak sandwiches in a bag and what appeared to be an entire three layer fruit cake, complete with icing roses which he dumped on Roy's desk. "I am not some date to be wined and dined- if you want into my pants, bastard, just say so."

"About that." Roy started, "I know that you have a tendency to try and do things by yourself, but you don't have to, you know."

Ed looked at him, mouth open and sandwich half way lifted, thin steak and bread drooping and sauce dripping unto his knee, "Bastard, you are a sure piece of work." Ed said, "Half the time you make absolutely no sense." He then shoved the sandwich into his mouth and bit down deliberately.

"I mean, I know you took on a lot." Roy said, as he poured out two glasses of sugary soda from the parcel Ed had brought. It was a red colour and fizzed angrily in the glasses, "looking after your brother and all, but what I wanted to say is, that it's okay to lean on someone else, once in a while, I mean," he fumbled as Ed chewed mechanically. "I mean I want to do the right thing?"

"The right thing?" Ed asked dangerously.

"Well, yes," Roy said pulling at his collar, "I helped you get into this mess and I'll help you all the way through it."

"Mess?" Ed asked through a mouthful of steak sandwich.

"I'm not doing this very well, I, mean, I appreciate it takes two and I am as much to blame as you are." Ed just chewed as Roy spoke, "and I want to stand by you, to make sure everything goes smoothly and you know you're not alone."

"All right," Ed said polishing off his own sandwich and turning to Roy's, because he was too busy talking to eat his own obviously, and experience had taught him that once Roy started talking he didn't stop.

"I'm going to stand by you, all the way through this, I want to be there every step of the way." Ed looked something like a cow chewing the cud, "I mean I am as responsible as you are and I want to step up to that responsibility, I mean what I'm trying to say is I know you're pregnant and I want to marry you."

Ed choked.

He obviously inhaled a large chunk of bread and was now bent over doing his very best not to die. When he recovered what composure he had, wheezing through his mouth through half chewed bread and steak, he looked clear at Roy and asked, "What the fuck, bastard, are you trying to kill me? Springing things like that on me when I'm eating." He started to beat his metal fist on his chest to dislodge what was left of the bread.

"I mean," Roy continued, "I know that you would have gone to see Dr Knox, and well, I do want to stand by you, I know that because of the human transmutation you went through changes." Ed was going purple by this time, and he had had even stopped eating. "And I'll stand by you."

"Bastard!" Ed said, still beating his chest, it was a bit of a pet name between them, "where the hell did this come from?"

"I heard you talk to Hawkeye," he said. "She said you were eating for two."

"I am," Ed said, "I'm eating for myself and Al, his body gets it's food from mine, so he's feeding me."

Roy opened his mouth a few times, "so you're not pregnant and I don't have to marry you?"

Ed decided that a frosty silence answered that better before he grated out "have to?"

"No," Roy squeaked, "because I want to, I want to."

"But I'm not pregnant." Ed said, "strange things go through your head, Mustang, boys can't get pregnant," he finished his sandwich, "you are really fucking strange."