ONCE

ONCE

Pairing: AkuRoku, slash

Summary: Once, there was him. Once, there was Roxas. Then, there were them. But now, he was all alone once more (Song Fic, akuroku)

Disclaimer: KH is not mine, and the song "My Immortals" is not too.

Author's Note: I've been listening to 'My Immortal' for a day, somehow. And I came out with this one 'emo feels' and started to write. My first song fic. It is very emotional. I re-read it while listening to the song and I think it wasn't too bad.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears

Once, there was him.

Once, there was Roxas.

Then, there were them.

But now there was he alone. Again.

And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave

It was better if the blond stayed there, goofing around, having a long hot night like they used to, doing stupid stuff, talking, snapping one to another, teasing, mocking.

But if he should really go, it would be better if he didn't stop when he called.

It was better if Roxas didn't make him say such a sentimental words that he never thought he'd say.

Roxas is hard to understand. He was crazy. Mad.

He's such a stupid complicated emo guy.

Weird.

Couldn't be understood.

It was better if he just left.

Go away.

Get lost.

'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

When he went inside the room, Roxas' scent smeared.

When he went to open the fridge, all he found was a box of empty sea salt ice creams. When he went to the library, no one mocked, calling him a geek.

When he eats, he found an untouched set of dining equipments where Roxas used to use.

But however he missed Roxas, he never cried.

Maybe.

Just maybe. He didn't really miss him.

But maybe too, it was only his denials- His pride.

These wounds won't seem to heal

Pluto barked and a gasp escaped Kairi's lips.

Dusk appeared.

Then, there was Axel's voice.

This pain is just too real

"We've got something in common, Kairi."

There's just too much that time cannot erase

"…You and I both miss someone we care about."

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears


"Why do the keyblade chose me?" the blond boy asked times and times. "Why me?"

He didn't cry; but his voice wavered. Raged. Depressed. And Axel knew.

"Don't be too emo, kid." The redhead used to laugh. "If it continues, Zexion will soon lost his 'emo the 1st' title"

Hearing it, Roxas would scowl and complained about Axel's corny jokes; but before he finished, it was cut by a pair of lips harshly crushing onto him, silencing the pointless rambling.

A pair of skinny but strong palms will pinned the younger boy to the wall as Axel trailed Roxas' nape of neck with his damp lips.

Then, the blond would admit his lost by letting a moan escape from his mouth and forgot about all the stuff he was depressed about just then.

Soon, both would fall into one sleepless intoxicating night.

Full of lust. Passion.

And it had always been the same

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

"Goddamnit it's just impossible!" Roxas yelled.

"Nay, you're just being negative, kid." Axel replied with a big grin which made Roxas even more pissed.

"Stupid." He mocked.

"Right. See, a stupid guy like me can do it, so why can't you?"

The blond would swear.

But that'd work.

Because he did it anyway.

And I held your hand through all of these years

Sometimes people made mistake. Sometimes happiness is just nowhere to be found. Sometimes the moment of rain will come and it will felt as if it's happening forever already. There are times like that for Roxas, too.

When that time came, the boy would stop talking to everyone-even Axel.

But Axel always barged into the room with his usually brisk attitude and complained.

They would argue.

And fill the room by nothing but chain of swearing words.

But in the end, Axel would be able to put some sense into Roxas.

And he would feel glad.

Because he just didn't like seeing Roxas all broken.

But you still have

All of me

But now, it's him who is broken.

Broken.

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light

Their first meeting, Axel couldn't get over it.

Roxas' scent.

Pair of blue sapphire eyes.

He was secretly intoxicated.

He knew that he lust for him. Wanting him.

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Even now.

Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams

"We're just an all fucked up and silly couple." Axel once commented.

"You mind?" Roxas replied.

"Hell no." the other laughed.

Then, the blond smiled.

"Same goes with me."

Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

"You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!"

"No one would miss me."

He walked off.

"That's not true…"

Then there was Axel, yelling words he would never know he can say.

"I would."

These wounds won't seem to heal

The memories haunted Axel.

He was raged to Roxas. Raged on himself.

Days by days he spent searching for his old self.


This pain is just too real

His old self who shrug things off and forget everything.

His old self who doesn't feel sorrow.

His old self who wouldn't miss anyone.

But he couldn't. Because it's all about him.

There's just too much that time cannot erase

Because it was all about him,

And Roxas.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

He tried to cope and cope, but he still can't.

Because once there was him.

And once, there was Roxas.

But though you're still with me

Then, there were them.

I've been alone all along

But now he was all alone once more.