Everybody is afraid of something
Her whole life she had been moving. Moving on, moving ahead, moving forward, moving up, moving.
If it had meant working her ass off, she had done it.
If it had meant giving up beloved things (and people) for it, she had done it.
If it had meant being alone, she had dealt with the loneliness.
The feeling of having reached and done more than anybody else had filled her with satisfaction, she felt accomplished.
Now, she had a nice and spacious office, a hospital, which had made it into the Nation's Top Ten under her leadership.
She had the best doctors, the best staff, the best equipment.
She had the nicest waiting rooms, the nicest pediatrics, the nicest doctor's lounges.
She had a nice old, restored and stylish home.
She had a nice car.
And now, after having reached everything nearly everyone would envy her for she realized that she felt empty.
Because the little detail that Lisa Cuddy forgot to include into her perfect plan was that once you made it to the top there is nowhere to go anymore. Only down again, which was out of question.
She leaned heavy on the sink, starring into the foggy mirror. A face with a pale complexion and hollow eyes was starring back at her. She did not look away or was startled by it. She knew the face. The last time she had seen was over fifteen years ago when she had started her career. The craving in her eyes, the craving of wanting more and the determination of doing whatever was necessary to get the satisfaction back. To feel alive and complete again.
So she had tried to move on. A little baby. With blue eyes and dark curls. But mother nature had only laughed at her futile attempts.
And while she stared at her reflection and listened to the silence the realization hit her with full force.
She wasn't moving anymore.
She was standing still.
And it scared the shit out of her.