Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or Christmas. We clear? Good.


Author's Note: This is a collection of 'one shots' that I'll do when I lack inspiration for any currently running series. These stories all take place on Christmas Eve and will involve 'crack' pairings and pairings I couldn't possibly write a full series for.

Oh, if you have a request for a shipping then just leave it in an R&R and I'll try and fulfil it. I'm fairly open to all pairings (apart from Incest, sorry, I wont touch that issue with a barge pole)


Hustling, bustling, grabbing and gripping, elbows, knees, sweating, grunting, pushing, shoving, in and out over and over again - so not what Deidara's body was designed for. Shopping, that is.

Sure, it may sound safe enough but Christmas shopping on the 24th of December might as well be the plot to the next Rambo blockbuster… or was that all about terrorists?

Whether the newest Rambo "epic" was terrorist-centric or not, Deidara didn't have time to ponder – his arm had been gripped and he was forcibly dragged from the gaggle of shoppers around him. Which was a shame, considering how much he loved the thought of fighting over the last 'must-have-gadget', or whatever he was here for.

The dragger, the one who took him away from all of his fun, blew her hair out of her face as she took a list out of her pocket. Sakura Haruno on a mission was a force to be reckoned with, and Deidara reckoned if he didn't follow her every command she'd beat the crap out of him. He'd seen her do the same to Uchiha and Uzumaki far too often.

"Ok, that's Naruto's gift all taken care of. One mp3 player down." She paused for breath "Where next"

"Home" Deidara sighed, checking his watch. It was now half past 11 at night. The mall they were in closed at midnight (ok, maybe he and Sakura had left shopping a little late.), He looked around to see the dwindling crowds. People were beginning to go home and shut up shop. Glorious; maybe he and Sakura could make a clean get-away and be home before Midnight.

"If we have any more friends to buy for then tough luck for them, yeah?" He continued

"Charming" Sakura smiled. "How would you feel if one of your friends got you nothing because… well because they couldn't be bothered?"

"Personally, with me not being a Christian, I wouldn't be too hard on them" he smirked.

"A non Christian who celebrates Christmas" she corrected him

"I celebrate it out of love for you." He said "And you still won't let me open a present at midnight."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Can't you just wait until the morning to open gifts? Anyway. We need to buy a gift for… well… that's everyone actually"

Deidara beamed at her. "Really? No joke, yeah?"

She giggled. It was hard to see how such small news could bring joy to Deidara's face. "No joke" she told him

He shrugged "Ok… Well, wanna … maybe grab a coffee on the way home? That café back there is still open, yeah?"

Sakura rose her eyebrow, he seemed nervous about asking, as if it was a date. Was he aware they were going out so he didn't have to be so nervous? "Sure, let's go" she smiled.


20 Minutes Later


Deidara held the café door open for Sakura, to let her out first. They had to walk home but it was only a few minutes, which would be even easier after the coffee break they just had.

"Gah" Deidara said aloud "I can't wait till tomorrow. Yeah? I wanna know what Uchiha got me. A Solid Diamond Golden Nugget, I bet!"

Sakura gave him an odd look "You don't get diamond gold… like ever" she said. "Just be quiet and enjoy the walk home, don't think about it and it'll be here faster" she smiled.

Deidara put his arm around her and pulled her in closer, doing as she said and enjoying the walk home in peace.


10 Minutes Later


Deidara got into bed beside Sakura, she had fallen asleep almost as soon as she had got home, he was the one who had to carry the stuff around all day and she was the tired one?

He pulled to covers over himself and got ready to go to sleep until a voice interrupted his silence.

"Deidara…." Sakura said softly "You can because it's midnight…"

"Hm?" He asked her "What present is that some kind of tr-?!"

He was cut off by her as she pulled herself into him, pushing their lips together.

The embrace lasted mere seconds before she pulled away again.

"Merry Christmas Deidara" she said before cuddling up to him and falling asleep.

It wasn't long before Deidara followed in her stead in visiting the land of Nod (or whatever it was old ladies said). He didn't know how he ended up with someone like Sakura but he did know that he was incredibly lucky to have ended up with her…


A/N: One shots… in a way they are much harder to write than series… kudos to anyone who has mastered the one shot.

DeiSaku, I like this pairing so long as it's AU, I don't see her getting together with the guy who tried to bomb the hell out of her teacher and best friend…

The story itself? I guess I like it, it feels a bit rushed though, unfortunately. Like I said, this is a pairing I doubt I could do a whole series about

Yes the first line was supposed to sound dirty, I hope I managed to pull that off.