Disclaimer: I don't own.
Summary: Why is the Akatsuki crowded in a small bathroom, gazing intently at a hole in the wall? And why aren't Deidara and Sasori enjoying the show? Why, because they are the show, of course. (SasorixDeidara, Yaoi, Peeping toms. Rated M for: Lemon, Language.)
REWRITTEN …. KIND OF.
"FUCKING SHIT!" Hidan exclaimed as his fist met the porcelain sink.
"OW, FUCKING CUNTS!!" He choked out as he cradled his almost broken hand with his uninjured one.
"HIDAN!" Kakuzu's voice boomed throughout their shared room, scolding the other man.
"Damn it, Hidan! Do you really find it necessary to swear ever five seconds?!" His partner was near now, leaning against the bathroom door. Hidan glared at the other man, "As a matter of fucking fact, I fucking do!"
Kakuzu held up his hands, gesturing for the other man to quiet down. "Okay, okay! It's late, so just keep your voice down." Hidan continued to glare defiantly, then clasped his mouth shut.
"Now," Kakuzu continued in a quiet tone, "did you make any progress with that?" the stitched-nin gestured toward the wall.
Hidan scoffed, "What the hell do you think I was yelling about? Damn thing won't close up!"
The other man rolled his eyes at his partner's growing impatience, then going over to examine what Hidan was trying to fix.
There, in the middle of the farthest wall of the bathroom, was a very large hole; no doubt a product of one of his and Hidan's more heated arguments. It was very deep, so deep in fact, that you could see right through into the other room.
"You know that damn puppet is going to kill us if we don't fix this." Hidan's voice came out behind the stitched-nin in a frustrated tone.
"We? It was your fault, you know."
Hidan's mouth fell open incredulously, "Oh, come on Kakuzu! I'm no good at this! That bloody puppet will castrate me if I don't get this done!"
"Well, he has every right to be angry, you know. That hole is on his and Deidara's bedroom wall, too."
Hidan grunted in frustration, "Yeah well-" He cut stopped short, raising an eyebrow at the odd sounds that were protruding out of the hole.
"What the fuck is that?" He whispered to his partner, the stitched-nin coming over to see what was the problem.
As the other man approached, he to could hear tiny, what were they? Whimpers, almost, coming from the other side of the hole.
They both peered into the large intrusion, trying to see what was causing the mysterious noises. Sure enough, within a couple of seconds, two figures could be seen, kissing and caressing while falling onto one of the beds. Kakuzu's eyes darted to his partner's, who was still watching his fellow Akatsuki members intently.
"Hidan, let's go." The man tried to get his partner's attention, but to no avail.
"Hidan!" Kakuzu hissed quietly, only to be met with a broad smile.
"Do you know what this means?!" The other man exclaimed happily.
The stitched-nin sighed, "No, what?"
Hidan's twisted curve of a smile grew, "Blackmail."
Sasori sighed as he let his body lean languidly against the wall of their bedroom, his deep red locks falling in front of his eyes. He looked at the opposite wall, seeing the large hole Hidan had created. "I'm going to castrate that man with a dull, jagged spoon." He thought bitterly.
His gaze quickly faltered though, as he watched his partner scurry around; getting ready for an upcoming mission they were set to go on. His eyes were locked on Deidara for awhile, waiting until the boy was finished preparing. The blond boy sighed- going over to his dresser to examine himself in the mirror. He reached his hands up to undo the tie in his hair; letting the strands of silk cascade down his shoulders. He patted the locks in front of his left eye down self-consciously, all too aware of his partner watching him.
Sasori felt the side of his mouth twitch; the blond knew he loved it when he let his hair down.
Deidara put his hands on the dresser top, leaning against it as he smirked at the red-headed man behind him, knowing he could see it in the mirror. They gazed intensely at each other- so much so that it was almost a glare- before Deidara lifted up his hand, gesturing for the other man to come here. Sasori broke the lust-filled gaze he was giving his partner, and complied.
He walked torturously slow toward the blond, trying to keep his expression drained of any emotion. He reached Deidara within moments, standing directly behind him- as close as he could be without touching the other boy. The blond's grip on the dresser top tightened, his big blue orbs becoming laced with need.
"Danna, please, un!" The younger boy pleaded, letting his lust be shown in his voice.
"Please, what?" The red-head's smirk grew with the knowledge that Deidara wanted, no, needed him.
"Danna! You're such a tease!"
Sasori's smile faltered, "And you're not?"
The blond huffed, "fine." he mumbled while turning away from the other man. But Sasori was far too quick to let that happen. He grabbed Deidara's wrist, pulling him close against his chest, his wooden arm wrapping around the boy's small waist.
"Now, you never answered my question," The blond gulped against his partner's chest, "Please, what?"
"I-I," The blond stuttered; becoming flustered with the close contact. "I just wanted you to … t-touch me, Danna, un."
The red-head smirked, "Well then, I guess you got your wish." He stated simply, then leaning down to capture the boy's mouth with his own; ignoring the various shouts coming from the room next door.
"Hidan, this is wrong." Kakuzu stated, turning away from the hole his partner was still gazing into.
"Oh, come on, Kakuzu! You can't tell me, after all of the denying and all that shit, that this is not the best way to get back at that damn puppet!"
"Get back at him for what? He didn't do anything!" At this, the silver-haired man turned to look at his partner.
"Are you kidding me?! You know that the puppet is nothing but a self-righteous, smug bastard! And after him acting like 'oh, I'm too high and mighty to fuck my partner', this is so perfect! Finally, we can shove something in his stupid, puppet face!"
"Hidan-" Kakuzu started, before he heard the door of their bedroom swing open, revealing Itachi and Kisame.
"Oh, fucking brilliant!" Hidan exclaimed, obviously happy for their fellow member's arrival.
"You guys, come here! You have to see this!" Kisame and Itachi exchanged glances, then walked over to the bathroom.
"What is it, Hidan? I swear- if it's another dead squirrel-"
"No, no! Just look!" At that, Hidan moved over to let Itachi and Kisame peer though.
Itachi stiffened at the sight of his fellow member's, turning around to face the silver-haired man.
"Hidan, why are you watching them? I never took you as the perverted type." At that, Kakuzu scoffed, making his disagreement with that statement clear.
"Don't you guys get it?! We can totally shove this is the puppet's face!"
Itachi seemed to mull this over, a small smile gracing his lips. "He's got a point, you know." Kisame nodded his agreement, his eyes still fixed on the hole. "Yeah, after Sasori killed my piranha, I've been itchin' to get back at 'im." Itachi then put a comforting hand on his partner's shoulder, a tiny sniffle escaping the shark man.
"I can not believe this." The stitched-nin mumbled.
"D-Danna, un!" The blond exclaimed as his partner ran his tongue over his navel; simultaneously ripping off the younger boy's shirt. Deidara reached his arms around the older man's neck, pulling him closer, his hands becoming lost in the mess of red hair. He slowly let his hands drop, clutching Sasori's black shirt desperately as the older man pressed his growing erection to the blond's still clothed entrance. The red-head bent down, nipping and licking at the blond's neck, leaving tiny red marks in his tongue's wake.
He captured the younger boy's mouth again, letting his tongue drag lazily across the blond's lips before dipping into his mouth. Deidara then went forward in taking the older man's shirt off; letting his hands ran down the red-head's chest as he did so.
Sasori moaned into the blond's mouth, his hands working hurriedly to undo Deidara's pants; so lost in his ectasy that he was deaf to the urgent whispers coming from the other side of the room.
The bathroom was getting crowded. In the span of about ten minutes, every member had shoved themselves into the small space; trying to get a glance at Sasori and Deidara. Tobi had been the hardest to shut up; he wouldn't stop crying out, "SASORI SEMPAI, WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL DEIDARA SEMPAI WITH THAT LONG SWORD?!", then continued to ask Zetsu what that long sword was, where the plant man had to go into a long spiel about what happens when two people love each other.
Everyone quieted down eventually, though- all transfixed on the hole. They watched as Sasori ravaged his partner in all savagery, they listened to all of Deidara's moans and whimpers. Suddenly, they weren't watching for evidence against Sasori, they were watching because it was … hot- even though none of them would ever admit it. Even Hidan had to stop his rant about the selfish puppet master to gaze upon his suddenly beautiful team members.
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" The whole of the Akatsuki tore their eyes away at that moment, though, because they all knew that seemingly threatening voice all too well.
Kakuzu was the first to speak, his voice ringing with a sudden nervousness "Ah, Sir Leader! What brings you up here?"
Sasori couldn't move. He currently had his partner pinned down, peering up at him with bright blue eyes; his silk-like hair scattered about on the pillow-a few strands falling into his face. His porcelain skin was dusted with a pink tint, and finally those lips; swollen, reddened- bitten in submission. The read-haired man was transfixed by all of the beauty that was Deidara. The blond smiled up at him, pulling Sasori's head down softly, pecking the puppet master's lips tenderly.
"Danna, un …" The younger boy started, "Please."
That was all the other man needed. He brought his partner up off the bed, turning him around and pinning him to the headboard in one swift motion. He brought the younger boy's boxers down, running his hands down the small of the boy's back as he did so. His skin is so smooth, the puppet master mused.
He then brought his fingers to the blond's mouth, the other boy taking them in; coating them thickly with saliva. The red-head removed his fingers, and slowly traced cirlces around the blond's entrance before pushing them in. Deidara gasped as the puppeteer slowly slid his finger in and out of him, one suddenly became two as he started to scissor the boy's entrance while laying sweet, short kisses on his neck- this producing many moans and whimpers from the blond.
He withdrew his fingers, hearing a groan of protest from Deidara. Sasori smirked at this, taking the younger boy's hips and bringing them forward to meet his growing erection- pushing it in slowly as not to hurt the younger boy. Deidara's grip on the headboard became intense; his mouth protruding tiny sobs at the immense pain.
"D-Danna, un. You're so b-big, I-I don't think I can take it a-all." The blond managed to stammer out.
"Nonsense, my sweet Deidara. You can take it, just a little more-" Sasori pushed in further, producing a strangled cry from the younger boy.
"There, now that wasn't so bad, was it?" The puppet master whispered in a soft, smooth tone. Deidara shook his head, "N-No, Danna, un." The red-head smiled, nipping the blond's ear tenderly. "Are you ready?" He whispered into the younger boy's ear, receiving a swift nod in return. Sasori started to move in and out of the blond at a steady pace. Deidara clasped his eyes shut and hoped that the pain would falter.
"Please pass me the popcorn, Tobi." The leader's voice came out in an enchanted drawl, his eyes never leaving the hole as his hand dipped into the large bowl of popcorn. After many heated whispers between Sir Leader and the other Akatsuki members, the pierced man decided to stay for the show- you know, to see what all the fuss was about.
Konan was kneeling beside him- her usually dull green eyes electrified; her mouth hanging open at the sight. Leader could have swore that if she was alone, she'd be squealing uncontrollably and thick strands of drool would be falling out her mouth.
No one dared to speak as they saw Sasori slowly enter Deidara, the blond's cries and whimpers like sick music to their ears. Even Kakuzu had to look, completely enthralled by the beautiful ritual that seemed to be going on between his fellow team members.
Sasori thrusts became faster- more desperate. Deidara's forehead was resting against his hands that still clung tightly to the headboard- his sobs of pain becoming moans of pleasure.
The puppeteer angled himself, going deeper with every thrust- searching for the blond's prostate.
"DANNA!" Deidara called out in an aberrant state of pleasure as the older man hit his prostate.
Making sure that every thrust he made stroked the same spot, the puppeteer moved his hand from the blond's waist to slowly pump the boy's also growing erection in time with his movements. They both seemed to be lost in their own state of ecstasy; Deidara's head swinging back to rest on the other man's shoulder, Sasori biting fervently at the blond's neck- turning the porcelain skin into a sickly strawberry color.
"Ah, Danna! I'm s-so close!" Deidara let his head fall forward as he came; the white, sticky substance coating the puppet master's hand. Sasori gave the blond a few last, languid thrusts and he soon met his release- letting the warm substance fill the younger boy up.
The Akatsuki watched as Sasori and Deidara collapsed onto the bed in a sweaty heap, the puppet master's arms coming to encircle the younger boy's waist.
Sir Leader was the first to speak, clearing his throat as he did so. "Well, um... it's late and I think we should all be getting to bed."
The other members mumbled their agreement, and stalked off in their own ways; leaving only Kakuzu, Hidan, and Konan in the bathroom.
Leader come back into the bathroom once he noticed his blue-haired partner wasn't with him.
The female blinked once and looked around in a daze. She clasped her mouth shut, and wiped the glistening drool off of her lips with her cloak sleeve. She stood up- holding her head up high as if that would give her any more dignity- and walked past Leader and out of the bathroom.
The silver-haired man looked thoroughly confused for a moment before stating, "Kakuzu, let's never speak of this again." and walked rather quickly out of the bathroom.
Kakuzu chuckled to himself, "Well said." and went to leave the small room before something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. He turned his head, only to be met with big brown eyes staring incredulously at him through the hole.
"KAKUZU?! WHAT THE FUCK?! FUCKING PERVERT!!" The stitched-nin sputtered incoherently, trying to defend himself.
"Sasori, it's not what you think!"
"Like hell it's not! You were watching us, weren't you?" The puppet master spat in a disgusted tone. Kakuzu stared at the red-head, then seeing Deidara's blushing form in the background, thick golden strands covering his eyes- a sheet gripped to his chest.
"What the fuck's going on here?" Hidan's voice came out from behind his partner, stifling a yawn with his hand. "Oi, Sasori, what the hell are you doing there?"
The puppet master's glare on the stitched-nin faltered before answering, "Kakuzu was watching me and Deidara-" The red-head stopped; choosing his next words carefully, "Uh, undress."
Hidan gasped in fake shock, "Kakuzu! What is wrong with you? I am appalled! I am terribly sorry, Sasori; my dear friend. I promise this will never happen again!"
"You bet your ass it won't." The puppeteer spat and gave one last heated glare before getting up and moving a dresser in front of the hole.
"I-I-" The stitched-nin stuttered incredulously. Hidan turned away swiftly; hoping to escape the explosion he knew was coming.
"You have got to be kidding me." Kakuzu whispered before going to strangle a certain silver-haired nin.
"Danna, un, do you think he'll tell anyone?" Deidara whispered as his partner slid into bed next to him.
Sasori smiled at the flushed blond, "Not if he wants to keep his dick." He stated simply.
The younger boy laughed at this, "Sasori Danna, un, why are you so obsessed with castration?"
"I'm not obsessed! It's just my preferred type of punishment." The puppet master started in an offended tone.
The blond smiled, "That's kinda weird, un."
The red-head fake scowled at his partner, and received a glomp from the younger boy in return.
"I love you."
"I love you too, brat."
A/N: -fan girl squeal- He, so, the ending turned out way cheesier than I had imagined, but oh well, I like it- It's a very cute moment between Deidara and Sasori, I think. xD I hope you all enjoyed it, it was just a random idea that I had in my head, stayed up all night writing it. Well, reviews are always appreciated!