The Odd Couples
a what-if by Dot

Being only a what-if, I didn't work out exactly how this story could have happened. If you want to, go ahead.
(Oh, yeah: a big "Thank You" to Yek Chin Yee for giving me this idea)
Vegita should have known better. He shouldn't have accepted Chi-Chi's offer to stay at her house, but at that time he preffered to stay out of the elements, and honor demanded that he accept her hospitality. And the woman could cook. Damn, could she cook: at every meal, she made him dish after dish and plate after plate of mouth-watering, stomach-filling food better than anything Vegita had ever eaten before.

So he stayed. The longer he stayed, the harder it became for him to leave the warmth of her house, her food, and her kindness. And then one day, he discovered that he was forever bound to Chi-Chi as her mate. When he explained this to her, she accepted it--but insisted that they 'legalize' this bond. Reluctantly, Vegita went through the silly ritual she called a wedding. A few months later, much too soon even for a Saiyajin, their first child, a daughter, was born. Vegita named her 'Midori', an equally acceptable Saiyajin and Human name. It seemed to him that he was always now unduly compelled to compromise with others...


Vegita snapped out of his trance. "Hmm?"

"Will you please watch Midori-chan while I go shopping?"

Vegita sighed; he had wanted get a really good workout in the hours of Chi-Chi's absense...but now, that would have to wait.

"Hai." He took his daughter from her mother's arms and marveled how much the two looked alike: only her tail served as a reminder of her father's contribution to her genes.

"Arigatou." Chi-Chi gave Vegita a light kiss before heading out.

Vegita sighed again. His younger self would have laughed at a warrior who bent to the will of a woman; now, the former Saiyajin no Ouji knew better. Such was the price of love.

"But Son-kuuuun!" Bulma wailed, using her husband's pet name in hopes that she could change his mind.

It didn't work. "Gomen ne, Bulma-san," Goku apologized in his sheepish, happy-go-lucky voice that made it virtually impossible for anyone to get mad at him.

Anyone, that is, except for Bulma. "You're about to leave me three years, and take our son with you, and all you can say is 'sorry'?!?" she screeched.

"Bulma, you know how important it will be for us to train..."

Bulma knew that she had lost. "At least come home for dinner," She begged.

"Um..." Goku scratched his head thoughtfully. "Sure! See you tonight, then!" He tugged gently at his son's arm. "Come on, Gohan. Let's go." Gohan gave his mother a "don't worry; we'll be okay" look before taking off with his father.

Bulma sighed; this isn't what she had in mind seven years ago. Back then, she still held dear those silly ideas of romantic love, and Yamcha by no means fit those ideas. If she were honest to herself, she would have realized that Goku didn't either, not by any stretch of the imagination. Once again, though, her heart overruled her head, and she fell in love with Goku when she saw him again at the 23rd Budokai.

Chi-Chi was certainly a lot smarter for giving up on Goku back then... Bulma thought bitterly. Chi-Chi had stormed out of the Budokai after Goku confessed that he had completely forgotten about his agreement to marry her. Bulma should have clued in then and there and stayed with Yamcha, but 'love' blinded her to the truth.

She made Goku promise to marry her if he survived the battle with Piccolo Daiamou. Goku readily agreed; after he won, Bulma promptly discovered that Goku had no idea what 'marriage' meant. Somehow, though, they managed to have a year of blissful life as a couple. By some miracle of God, they also produced a son. Goku named him "Gohan", after his grandfather, and promised that Bulma could chose the name for their next child. Bulma fooled herself into believing that she could be happy.

Then Radditz came. After that, everything went to hell in a handbasket: the death of her husband, the 'kidnapping' of her son, the invasion of Vegita, the journey to Namek...but that wasn't the worst of it. No, the worst part came during the year after she returned, when she knew that Goku was alive somewhere in the universe, but chose not to come home.

And now, just as she thought life could return to normal again...that strange, polite, and painfully shy young lady brought them the horrible message of a future destroyed by a madman's obsession. Goku, as usual, decided to fight it out instead of solving things by a much easier, less violent way. So, Bulma would have to endure an empty house for another three years...or maybe longer, given Goku's inclination for fighting...

Bulma caught herself wondering how her life would have different if she had married Vegita instead. She shook her head; why should she think about something that couldn't have occurred? Besides, Goku was already her husband now; what use was there to think about what could have happened?

Bulma and Vegita sat, and waited for their respective spouses.

Author's notes: I'm surprised that a lot of people found this story funny, because I didn't intend for it to be interpreted as such. Chi-Chi dumping Goku for Vegita is not an entirely impossible idea, especially not if Vegita is the way I've presented him in this and other fanfics.
I think a big reason why this story is seen to be humorous is the (wrong) idea that Chi-Chi is--to put things bluntly--a bitch. Yes, in the anime she henpecks Goku constantly, but that part of her personality was added by Toei to provide comic relief. (Goku, the strongest man in the universe, being bullied upon by this little woman who he can easily whack into next week--ha, ha...NOT.) The truth is, Chi-Chi loves Goku very much: after learning of Goku's death at the hands of Cell (vol. 35), she collapses to the ground weeping uncontrollably.
Copyright 1997 by Dot
Questions? Comments? Suggestions?