A/N: New Story. Yayy. This story is going to be a little more dramatic than my others but still total E/O. Gotta love the E/O ! Do we need smut this time? Hmmm, maybe. Please Review.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, but could you imagine the possibilities if they were!!
"Liv, you coming for drinks with us?" Fin called across the room slipping on his leather jacket. Olivia quickly looked at the four male detectives and groaned inwardly at her predicament. She knew that if she went for a drink what would happen. It was becoming much too common practice for her and Elliot. She had told him before that she was putting an end to their messed up little regime but he always somehow ended up in her bed despite his marriage status. It had been going on for two months now. Two twisted months and yet she secretly loved the nights he would come over. She had no idea what he told Kathy, she never asked, but she knew how wrong it was. In the beginning she had tried to justify it to herself that they weren't hurting anyone that it was all harmless but as time went on she realised that they would end up hurting others. And quiet selfishly she mainly didn't want herself to get hurt. She wouldn't let him come over tonight. It was done, she would stay strong and tell him to go home to his wife and their children and crawl into her bed alone.
"Umm, yeah sure. But I can only stay for one drink, ok? I'm kind of tired" Olivia stood up straightening her desk. She was about to walk over the join the guys when the phone on her desk rang. She quickly looked at it hoping that this could get her out of drinks. "Why don't you guys head of without me? I'll meet you there."
"I'll wait for you Liv" Elliot offered and started to head back over to where the desks were. She quickly shook her head 'no' and waved him away as she grabbed the phone. Elliot just shrugged his shoulders and went back over to Fin, Munch and Lake. The four men headed out without so much as a glance backwards.
Olivia walked into the bar and quickly located Elliot, Fin and Lake who were standing by the bar beers in hand. She made her way over to them reminding herself of her one drink imposed policy and told herself that she would need to leave before Elliot to avoid him wanting to take her home which she knew would lead to him spending the night.
"Hey guys. Where's Munch?" Olivia asked coming to stand with them.
"Over there. Looks like his ex-wife just wants to recap for him why she left him" Fin said shaking his head.
Olivia glanced over to where Fin was looking and saw a miserable looking Munch talking to a tall thin woman who was constantly stroking the arm of the man next to her. Olivia didn't know too much about Munch's ex-wives only that the last one did cheat on him leaving him with a bitter view on all relationships. Olivia felt sorry for the elder detective who looked like his dog had just been put down.
Olivia suddenly had an idea and grinned. "Here, take my badge for a sec." She unclipped her badge from her black slacks. She then proceeded to unbutton the top three buttons of her white pinstriped blouse exposing the top swell of her breasts and a hint of a black lacy bra. Not so much in a sleazy way, but enough to create interest from a man and jealousy from a woman.
"What are you doing?" Elliot asked his chest tightening at the newly exposed skin of his partner. In the past two months he had been privy to seeing a lot of her skin but he still felt a rush every time he got a glimpse.
"Watch and see" Olivia answered with a devious smirk.
Olivia strutted over to where Munch was standing still trapped in his misery. She sidled up to his side wrapping one arm around his waist and the other around his neck cupping the back of it firmly. If Munch was surprised to see her and her arms around him he either didn't show it or didn't have time because the next thing he knew Olivia was dragging his head down to hers and latching onto his lips with her own in sweet seductive kiss. John Munch was stunned. He was kissing Olivia Benson, or more like she was kissing him. Before he could get his brain to cooperate and return the kiss she had pulled away.
"I'm sorry I'm late baby. There was a last minute meeting" Olivia cooed at John ignoring the look of shock from the woman standing in front of them.
"That's ok sweetie. I'm sure you'll make it up to me tonight" John grinned back catching on to the game the two were now playing.
"Hmmm, I think arrangements can be made" she said seductively stroking the side of his face.
The woman coughed loudly bringing the attention from the two over to her. She had a scowl on what otherwise would of been a pretty face of a woman in her late forties.
"I'm sorry. Marie this is Olivia Benson my, ah, girlfriend. Olivia this is Marie, my ex-wife and her husband Daniel." John said wrapping an arm around Olivia's waist. He normally wouldn't feel this insecure running into anyone of his ex-wives but he was still bitter with the adultery that happened within his marriage. And it didn't hurt for his ex wife to think that he had moved on and with such a beautiful woman like Olivia.
After a few minutes of small talk Olivia and John made their way back over to where Elliot, Fin and Lake stood their mouths hanging open at the scene that had just witnessed.
"Holy Shit Liv. That was classic." Lake laughed raising his beer glass in her direction.
"Yeah, well no one messes with my boys. I would do that for anyone of you" Olivia said accepting the beer that Elliot handed her. His fingers brushed over hers as she took the glass from his hand and
her heart raced from the fleeting touch. She quickly turned away from him afraid that he would see how much his small touches affected her. He is not coming home with me, I don't care how much he needs it or how much I do, she told herself.
Several beers later and after some great laughs Olivia decided she needed to head home. She had already stayed past her one drink limit and now needed to execute her escape plan.
"Ok guys. It's past my bedtime. I'm going to head home" She said grabbing her purse and throwing some money on to the table.
"I'll take you home" Elliot quickly offered standing up.
"It's fine El. I can make it, I haven't had that much to drink" She hoped he could hear the warning she was giving him in her voice.
"Still it's late and you really shouldn't be walking alone at night"
Olivia knew she was trapped. If she insisted that she could get home on her own she knew Elliot would persist which would likely turn into a scene in front of their co-workers, besides Elliot taking her home was perfectly natural, if he hadn't offered that would of caused suspicion amongst the detectives at the table. But Olivia was afraid that she would cave if he asked if he could stay. I won't let him pass the door.
Olivia pulled her keys out of her bag and opened the door spinning around quickly to stop Elliot from gaining entry. She placed a hand on his chest and shook her head.
"I told you Elliot, no more. I'm done. This is too fucked up, even for me." She watched his eyes as they clouded over like a storm rolling in. She knew he was hurt that she was denying him this but if she didn't get out now she knew she never would.
"Please Liv. I need this. I...it helps me"
"You have a wife who should be helping you, not me."
"It's not the same. It's you. Its how I feel with you."
Olivia felt the tears press from behind her eyes as she bit her bottom lip hard to keep them away. She hated him for what he was doing to her. He didn't understand how this truly was breaking her. Every morning when he would jump out of her bed and leave before she woke was slowly killing her.
"I know in your head you have justified that what we're doing is not wrong El, but it is. If Kathy was doing this what would you do?" Olivia asked tears splashing onto her cheeks.
Elliot's heart ached to see her cry. And what he hated more than anything was knowing he was the one causing it. It was true that in the beginning he had told himself that it was nothing more than two friends comforting each other after a bad day but he couldn't deny that there were definite feelings now involved. And now not only was he coming over on a bad day but any night he could. He wanted to be with her. All the time. There was only one problem with that and her name was Kathy.
"I don't know how I would feel if Kathy was doing what we're doing," he let out a small laugh, "probably a bit relieved."
"You don't mean that El" she whispered, slight hope seeping into her chest.
"I don't know what I mean anymore. You're right this is fucked up. But I need it too much to give it up. I need you." Elliot took a step closer to Olivia only for her to take a step back and shake her head at him.
"I have a date tomorrow night El." She watched as he clenched his jaw and fist. She didn't know why she told him about her date maybe in hopes that he would accept that what they had was over and maybe a small part of her wanted him jealous just like she was jealous of his wife.
"It doesn't matter who El. What matters is that our little messed up thing ends right now. You're my best friend Elliot, and God, I would do anything for you, but I will not let myself get hurt because of you. It's not the same as when we first started this. Things changed, it wasn't meant to be like this"
He nodded. Feelings. They were there. As long as there are emotions there would always be problems and problems usually led to someone getting hurt. He didn't want to hurt Olivia but he didn't want her with someone else in what he considered their bed. He needed to sort his home life out and quickly before Olivia moved on.
"Night Olivia" He said as he walked away.
Olivia closed the door and slid down against it sobbing, pain seeping into her chest. He walked away just like she had asked. So why did it hurt so much to see him leave?
A/N: More about Liv and El's little thing in the next chap. It will clear up some questions too. Please Review. Pretty please with a cheery on top!!