A/N: I know you'll probably all hate me, now, but it's something that I have to do! It came to me in the middle of the night, when I was thinking about all those fics where Greg asks Nick out, so sure that Nick'll say no, and punch him out…or something, but Nick doesn't, and everyone lives happily ever after… I love those stories, don't get me wrong, people, but I wanted to explore what would happen if something like that really did happen. This is a first at angst…hehe! I hope you like it…There is a warning for character death! You've been warned!
Disclaimer: Yeah…I really wish I owned it, so Nick and Greg could get together on the show, but, alas, my dreams will probably not come true…
He stood there, ten stories up. He was sure that if the fall didn't kill him, the impact would. The fear that would have overcome him two months ago wasn't there anymore. He truly realized that his life wasn't worth living, and that no one, except maybe Sara, would miss him. And she would get over him, she had Grissom's shoulder to cry on now, and that's all she ever really wanted, right?
That's what had brought him to this decision, end his life so prematurely. Rejection. It wasn't like he hadn't been expecting it, but, it still hut more than he had ever anticipated it to. It felt like someone was ripping his heart out of his chest and forcing him to swallow it whole every day he woke, so he decided to stop the waking. He had woken up today at five in the morning (Before any person in the right mind would wake on a Saturday) written the note, mostly to say that he loved his parents, and a few things, such as for Catherine to go for it with Warrick, and telling Sara how much he loved her (as a sister, of course) and that none of them had really caused this, that he just "Couldn't do it anymore." This, of course, was not true, but, oh well, and he had also made sure to tell Grissom to pull his head out of the microscope long enough to see what was in front of him. But, there was still one person, one person who he left out, because he had no idea what to say to them…
Flashback – two months earlier
Greg was excited. Not the, "Yay! We're going to Disney World!" excited, no, he was the, "Uhg…I feel like I might throw up" excited. Today was the day he finally decided to do it. Ask Nick Stokes out. Sara had done it encouraged him to do it. To be quite frank, he was sure he would be rejected. Come one, really, a good old Christian boy from Texas, being Homosexual? Never.
Now, Nick was stepping into his lab, and his hands where sweating that way they did whenever Nick drew near, and he was starting to babble uncontrollably.
"Hey, Nick, why'd the chicken cross the road?" Greg asked.
"To get his results?" smirked Nick.
"You ruin all my fun," Greg replied, sticking his tongue out. "So, yeah, the scrapings from under the little girl's finger nails match the mom."
Nick whistled out through his teeth, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "She was only four…she never stood a chance…" he suddenly slammed a hand down on the cold metal of the table. "Damnit!"
Greg stood there, frozen, and even the sense of time passing seemed to halt, there was only him and Nick. He reached out and grabbed the bruised and injured one of Nick's hands. Nick stared at him for several seconds, but didn't pull away, and Greg, bless his heart, took this as a sign to go on. He leaned and gently kiss Nick. But, then he felt himself being pushed off Nick, and next thing he knew, he had been socked in the stomach.
"What the fuck?!" Nick yelled. "You're wrong, man, just plain wrong!"
Greg opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was a wheeze. Nick shook his head. "I don't swing that way, man, never have never will." And walked out.
End flash back
So, that's why he stood here, one the edge of the roof of his apartment building, working up the courage (Or was it cowardliness?) to jump off the edge.
Two flashes ran through his brain; the first, of the light and happy Nick that used to joke around with him before his stupid mistake. The next; the cold, distant Nick that did very well in his attempts to avoid Greg and he had known for months now. That was enough. With one last, heart wrenching sob, which would also stand as the last breath he ever took, he jumped.
It was kind of like when he would go off the diving board, that flying, but at the same time falling, sensation. But, this time, he wouldn't be hitting water, which gave way to his body mass as he landed, no, he would be hitting hard, unforgiving concrete. He dropped into a sort of disturbing calm as he fell. He closed his eyes, and he knew the end was near. Then, he impact came, and he felt one split-second minute of pain, before he blacked out, never to see the world again.
Two weeks later…
Sara stood crying into Grissom's shoulder, Catherine into Warrick's the men tried, and failed miserably, to hide their own tears. They had lost one of their own, two long weeks ago. The ceremony was closed-casket. Greg had landed on his front, and his torn and battered face was one that make-up just couldn't cover. So, it was closed casket, because no one wanted their last vision of Greg to be one that was broken and unsmiling. They wanted to remember to cocky, zany lab-tech for what he had been, not what he had done to himself.
Sara knew that his explaination his letter wasn't why he had done it. She noticed to absence of someone, and secretly hoped they where in as much pain as possible. She had lost her best friend because of him.
Nick Stokes stood away from the rest of the funeral-goers. He somehow knew that he was to blame, and felt bad for that. Greg had been a good person, and if only he could have done that differently. Nick could only hope that the lab-tech was in a better place, a better world, where he could be happy.
A/N: I know you probably all hate me. I had to do it, however, so don't kill me, I beg of you!