Deep down, Sarah knew Caleb wasn't hers.
She knew, that for all intents and purposes, no matter how hard she tried, Caleb belong to them. The other sons of Ipswich. It had been that way long before she came along, and would remain that way forever. She knew it didn't apply only to Caleb, it applied to them all.
She knew because she'd held Kate during her breakdowns, brought on by Pogue placing his boys before her every time. She knew because she'd seen girls shriek at Reid for using them for one night stands, and she'd seen Reid just wait it out and then shrug it off and leave to find the other three boys. Sarah knew girls that ha fallen in love with shy, quiet Tyler, only to have Tyler politely tell them he wasn't interested. The bonds between them were strong, too strong and too deep and too old for Sarah or Kate or anybody to blunder in and sever them. Caleb would choose them over her, every time. He'd kill her if they asked.
She knew that even if they married and she gave him the next witch in the Danvers line, his heart would never been fully hers. He loved her, but not like he loved them. But she thought, she hoped, she prayed, she had enough love for them both.
So she ignored Reid's loaded sexual innuendos, Tyler's soft discreet touches, and Pogue's smoldering glances. She turned a blind eye to the way the touched and spoke to her boyfriend, the way they flaunted their intimacy, and said no politely to all her other would be suitors, even when Aaron pointed out the fact that he was screwing around on her, with guys no less. She forgave Caleb when he bailed on her as soon as his phone rang, and allowed him to keep secrets and arrive late, smelling of them. She did this because she loved him, and she chose him.
And because she told herself that he loved her too, if only a little. But at night, sometimes, when she was curled up alone in a bed too big for her, her boyfriend out with his "brothers" she would wonder if she made the right choice.
And if maybe she hated Caleb, just a little.