You Got It
a Siriusly Klutzy chapter
There are three things in this world that will inevitably cause the premature death of me.
1) The undeniably deliciousness of chocolate. It's exactly what any girl could wish for when her mates drive her out of her mind. The problem: Too much of this delicious chocolate leads to inescapable laziness. If I'm lazy, there's no way I can handle patrolling or fulfill my Heads duties as necessary, thus having to accept the title of Failure. Thus being murdered by my loveable-but-slightly-perfection-seeking mum. Thus being dead, which in no way will get me a good job. Or good grades on my NEWTS.
2) James Potter. Really, enough said. We all know what kinds of chaoticness he brings into my life. If more proof is needed, grab a time turner, darling. Start on September first, Year 1.
3) My batty mates who feel the need to control my life. For some reason I think they've taken it upon themselves to not just have a Lily Evans, but to have a Super Lily Evans. Like a super hero. Super Evans, with the dominating power of shrieking at people at a thunderous volume. Except not anymore. Now she's just Super Evans, with the dominating power of sending out healthy, but deserved, glares.
Let's go back to number two for a moment (or more. It is James Potter, and Merlin knows I can talk about him to Mars and back.) After my Little Conversation with Remus, I've had nothing but constant knots of anticipation and anxiety tying themselves up more and more. I wasn't exactly sure what I should do after it. Remus knows. I know that. Remus is a smart bloke and it doesn't exactly take a genius like Dumbledore to figure out that I fancy James, even if admitting it, even just in my mind, causes my head to swirl. Just a bit. Or more. Gah.
But what is there to do now? Am I supposed to just go talk to him? Wouldn't he suspect something? Is that what I want? Should I want it? Wouldn't it make sense for me to want that?
Remus. I love him dearly, I really do. He's been such a marvelous help, really he has! But he is utterly useless in the Helping Lily Evans department. He definitely would not be the head if that department existed in the ministry. Only some poor, unsuspecting sap who is remarkable with damage control would be able to master that. Maybe the combined efforts of Marlene and Alice, but they were no where to be found, and I wasn't sure, exactly, where to even begin to look.
They're so spontaneous sometimes and it really is quite convenient for their needy friend.
I stood up from where I was sitting on the Gryffindor couch, contemplating the current mishap that is James Potter of my life. Not that he's a bad mishap, of course! Er, completely. But he really wasn't making my life any easier. He wasn't anywhere to be found, nor were any of his loony mates.
I turned on the spot to see that the entire Common Room was cleared, save a second year who was scribbling furiously on her arm, splattering ink across her face making it an obvious give away for how she was about to cheat on her Charms test. I eyed her suspiciously for a moment hoping that she would catch my eye, realize that, Hey, the Head Girl was onto her and could give her a detention for cheating. But she didn't look up. She scribbled away on her forearm, oblivious to the fact that the only other person in the room was staring at her.
Rolling my eyes, I walked towards the portrait hole in hope that my Marlene and Alice intuition would kick in so I would be able to find them quickly. I was feeling horribly impatient. The best place to start, I decided, was in the general area of the Great Hall because if my mates loved anything, it was eating, so there was a greater chance that they would be there than any other place in the castle.
I walked aimlessly and obliviously down the many flights of stairs, only partially aware of who was passing me, giving my full attention only to the girls with dark hair like Alice or Amazon legs like Marlene. I saw both occasionally, but none together. Where were my mates?
By the time I made it to the Great Hall, the lunch plates were being set up and slowly trays and plates and bowls of food were appearing on the table. It looked delicious because it was beans on toast day. Hogwarts was the only place I could find it that somehow made it taste like Mum's. I wasn't sure how someone could make beans on toast taste so spectacular, but both Mum and Hogwarts did. Not that I was complaining.
There were also chips, looking fresh and mouth watering, sitting in their round bowls right next to the baskets of bread.
I couldn't resist. When I realized the mental drool wasn't completely, one hundred percent mental, I decided I had to nab a spot at the table. There was no one else down here, they were probably out on the grounds some where. The weather was getting a bit more chilly recently and there would only be a few more days of the already rare nice weather left. At that moment, however, beans on toast were much more appealing than the last nice days here at Hogwarts before the icy, cold-inducing, fire stroking days of winter were upon us.
That was probably where Alice and Marlene were, actually. They were probably outside, perhaps flying around on a broom (which must be why I wasn't informed of this adventure), determined to fight the cooling breeze and not wear their scarves, which would be a sign of defeat. Yes, that had to be it.
I took a seat closer to the middle, a little to the left of a group of girls who were squealing about something or another. One of them, a girl in a Gryffindor scarf (obviously she wasn't trying to defeat the weather), giggled shrilly, and her friend hushed and swatted her. The Gryffindor Scarf girl turned a light shade of pink and nibbled on some bread while the others laughed at her in what seemed like a friendly way.
It was still worrying me. Where were Marlene and Alice? What if Alice wanted to take one last dip in the lake before it got much to cold because Alice loves swimming, more than anything else in world. Perhaps more than Marlene and I, even. Alice loves swimming. So what if she went in and, while Marlene wasn't looking, a current pulled her under and she drowned? What if Marlene was stuck in a tree again? What if one of them fell off of a broom?
All of these worried thoughts were rushing through my brain when I felt two bodies take their places next to me while I got nearer to hyperventilating. "Alright, Lily?" asked my good friend Sam. He thwacked me on the back a couple times. You know, just in case I was choking or something.
"Yes, I'm sure that made her feel loads better, Sam," Ellen said. She flicked at his hand and patted my shoulder instead. "Are you okay, Lily, darling? Did Sam hurt you? I can chuck him out a window if you'd like. It wouldn't be the first time," she said to my side soothingly.
I came back to my senses and realized that I hadn't talked to those two in ages. Or what felt like ages, at least. They appeared to still be together and kicking- sometimes literally. I grinned at them and enveloped them both in hugs. Sam obediently played the part of Obnoxious Fifteen Year Old Boy, and pushed away saying, "Now, Lily, I know my dashing looks and obvious charm make you attracted to me, but I'm with Ellen. I'm there there's a boy out there for you somewhere."
Ellen, again, flicked him.
"Where have you guys been?" I asked conversationally, my thoughts of Alice and Marlene momentarily escaping me. "I feel like I have so much to tell you!"
Ellen grinned. "Nothing of great importance, or I'm sure i would have heard about it by now. James isn't very good at hiding his emotions, is he?"
"What do you mean?" I asked in my best casual voice trying to nonchalantly put some chips on my plate. It would have went well if my hand hadn't started to shake uncontrollably and I didn't end up dropping half of the chips down my shirt where they landed with a couple crunches on my skirt.
I brushed the crumbs off hastily, then looked to up for an answer.
"He's been moping around like a slug all week," Sam answered, stealing a chip from my plate and popping it in his mouth despite the fact that there were bowls of them along the table that he could have snatched all for himself.
"He almost killed Sam in practice last week with a bludger."
"James is a Chaser...?" I said, somewhat unsure. I thought he was a Chaser, and leave it to me to know, right? And if I wasn't right about his quidditch position- a sport I hardly knew anything about, so the position thing is a rather big accomplishment- then what kind of fancying girl was I?
"I'm easy to take frustration out on." Sam shrugged and swiped another chip.
"He was demonstrating proper bat handling," Ellen explained. Her eyes went from conversational to glaring in seconds. You don't mess with Ellen's territory, or things would apparently get ugly. "Not that it matters, right? As long as you know how to not drop the bloody thing and make contact with a bludger in the general direction of another person, hopefully one not wearing your team's colors, then you're good to go. But James wouldn't have it. Sam was flying around him and being a goof, and James sent a bludger his way."
"To be fair, he did apologize after," Sam intervened. "And there was no way to know I was going to dart in front of him like that. He was just hitting out of anger."
"Sam, he broke your arm."
My hands flew up to my mouth while my eyes went wide. "Your arm? Really?" I gasped. "Broken? Like... broken broken?" I stared at his arm in disbelief. James couldn't- couldn't- have intentionally broken his arm.
"She exaggerating. Ellen hasn't exactly forgiven James for that. Even though," he looked pointedly at his huffing girlfriend, "It wasn't his fault at all." Ellen rolled her eyes. Sam chuckled and then showed me his arm. There was a rather large, but clearly faded, purple and yellowish bruise covering the majority of his forearm. I crinkled my nose and tried not to look, but a quick flash of my intended future career flashed through my head. if I was going to be a healer, I would be seeing a lot of bruises. And much more than just those.
I carefully ran my finger down the length of his bruise. The churning in my stomach wasn't exactly easy to control, but I managed, even though I lost all the appetite I had. And on beans on toast day, too. It was swollen just a bit, but the worst of it looked out of the way. "Did you go to Madame Pomfrey, Sam?"
Sam shook his head, his scraggly hair falling into his eyes as he did so. The boy really needed a haircut. it was almost as long as Sirius's. "Nah, Remus fixed it after practice. Sirius went up to get him after Marlene suggested it. It's fine, just a bruise."
I shook my head. He really should have gone to Madame Pomfrey. Yes, she is a bit mad sometimes. She flounces around and mutters under her breath at the mention of a paper cut. Alex McFeen swears he heard he say that all children belong in plastic balls to keep them from germs and injuries. And while perhaps some people belong in giant plastic balls, I don't think everyone does.
"Although, Lily," Sam said. A wicked grin spread across his face. A grin I had seen many times on not only his face, but that of Sirius Black, as well. "Really, though, this is your fault."
I rose an eyebrow. "My fault? Really, now?"
Ellen groaned. "Sam, don't bring this up."
"Bring what up?" I asked, flinging myself in Ellen's direction. "How is this my fault?"
"She's got to know by now." Sam picked up and chip and turned it in his hand. "The whole team was talking about it."
I turned back to face him. "Talking about what, Sam?" He was smirking at Ellen, his teeth glistening, eyes sparkling. This was the mischievous Sam I knew. Ellen glared back at him, furious.
She whipped her wand out of her robes and pointed it at his arm, the uninjured one. "Do you want me to break your other arm?" she threatened.
Sam just grinned wider. "You wouldn't. You can't bare to see me in pain." He looked pointedly at me and explained. "She almost throttled James." I opened my mouth to continue to ask why this nonsense was my fault but he cut me off, nodding. "It took the entire team to convince her that my arm wasn't broken." Ellen gripped her wand tighter and hardened her stare. "And even after all of that, she still got a swift kick to his shin."
She sniffed. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Sam grinned. "Do you see this? This is why I love her." Ellen couldn't stop the grin from spreading across her face.
"Sam!" I half screeched. I grabbed his unbruised arm and shook it so that his entire body jolted. "Please!" I begged. "Back on subject!"
"Sub... oh, right, right. Sorry, Lily." Sam grinned. I rolled my eyes at him, still gripping his arm to the point that there may be claw marks on it. "Anyway, James has been sulking for a while."
"Yes, you've mentioned that," I said hurriedly, trying to get the information. Remus just said that he was frustrated. There was no mention of sulking, was there? Did I miss a big conversation piece there?
When he opened his mouth to speak again, I released the iron grip on his arm and looked up at him expectantly. He grinned before continuing. "Like I said, James isn't very good at keeping secrets. He'd come to practice in a particularly bad mood."
My eyebrows furrowed and I stared at Sam. "Wait. What does that have to do with me?"
Ellen laughed. "He would sulk around." She dropped her voice an octave. "'What is with her lately? Sirius, do you think someone's poisoned her? Sirius? Are you listening? Lily's been acting crazy again!' And he'd just go on and on about one little thing you did."
"And Sirius what have to analyze it for ten minutes, and tell James to 'suck it up, Prongs, she's fine' so that we could get back to practice." Sam laughed. "Sirius knows how to control him."
"I've made James sulk?" I asked, practically outraged. "Because of the little things I've changed?"
Even though Remus had just explained that same thing to me not even a day ago, it was just registering. Everything was clicking. Before now, James was annoying, but he'd never get mad. Everyone, including himself, claimed that he fancied me. I had no reason to believe it, though.
Now he was getting mad because I was changing myself at the instruction of Alice and Marlene. He was storming around and delaying quidditch practices, which I wouldn't put past him to extend afterward to compensate for the lost time. And... this was all because of me?
That would mean...
I sat there processing this information carefully until I came to one very important conclusion. One conclusion that could have lead to many good things, had I realized it much earlier all of these years. Or just less harsh retaliations for James. But that one thing, it changed everything, didn't it? It meant that while James was completely out of his mind and apparently had a seemingly unstable emotional brain, he really did fancy me. All these years, it wasn't a lie or a joke or some stupid bet.
James Potter fancied me, Lily Evans, flaws and all. And there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it.
Except maybe change myself.
That's when I saw the flaw. The huge flaw. When had I started noticing that I fancied James? It was... somewhere in the middle of this experiment, right? The experiment that had been concocted in order to prove a point to James that I wasn't the predictable prick I thought he imagined me to be.
"Lily," Ellen asked carefully. She lay her hand on my shoulder and shook it lightly. "Are you alright? Do you need to go to the infirmary or something?"
I bit my lip. "No," I answered. I shook my head and looked at her, an adrenaline rush flooding through my system. "No, but I've got to do something."
"What?" Sam asked. He was still swiping chips from my plate, but that was currently the most unimportant thing in the world. "But you haven't eaten anything."
I waved my hands at him, signaling for him to shut up for a moment. "Alice and Marlene," I finally managed to say. "Have you seen them? I... I can't find them anywhere."
"I think they were in the library," Ellen offered while Sam continued to protest my lack of nutrition. I grabbed my bag and stood up, nearly taking them out with me.
Sam, still babbling, gripped the table. "I'll talk to you guys later!" I said, not bothering to look back as I started to run out of the Great Hall, almost taking out a group of Ravenclaws as I went. Before I reached them, however, I heard Ellen say to Sam, "Will you shut up for a second? I think she's finally got it."
By the time I reached the library, I was significantly out of breath. I had to hold on to the wall to keep myself from falling over while I caught my breath. My bag I had dropped moments before and had skidded a couple feet away from me. Bent over double, one hand on the wall, the other resting on my knees, my heart was pounding viciously. Like it was saying, "Evans, what the hell was that? You deny me any form of physical exercise for years and then expect to run a marathon to the library? Are you out of your mind?"
Part of me, the particularly crazy part, apologized to my heart for doing that. The other part was trying to focus on standing up straight again so that I could continue this adventure. I had to find Alice and Marlene, and soon. I thanked Merlin that they weren't actually outside, like I had thought before, and that they were just in the place I could get to in my sleep.
Except now the library seemed much larger than it ever had before, even with all of the books waiting to be read. The countless books that I never thought I'd get my hands on never gave off the illusion that the library was this big. Just rather large.
Bending over, I grasped my bag and swung it over my shoulder. A bottle of ink flew out and shattered in the hall, splattering the ankles of some passing fourth year Slytherins who glared and, any other day, would have started spewing curses at me. They must have seen my determined but manic expression and didn't want to get involved with a lunatic because none of them drew their wands, and only a handful muttered nasty things.
Personally, I didn't blame them in the least.
The shelves seemed to be endless. There were rows and rows of them. Once, I knew exactly how many rows there were in this library, which ones housed the best tables for studying, where students would go if they were trying to escape a teacher. But all of that information escaped me as I sprinted through the door and frantically searched for my mates.
It only took a couple minutes to find them, in the Transfiguration section, looking up some spell that McGongall may have mentioned was going to be on the test we were bound to receive soon. They looked up, startled, when I popped up behind Marlene, sweating and panting uncontrollably.
"What the hell are you doing in here?" I sputtered, still trying to catch my breath. I used Marlene to lean on while my heart raced it's way to the finish, so that it could finally slow down.
"Lily!" Alice said. Her shock was evident. She grasped my shoulders to hold me steady so that she could look me in the eye. "Are you alright? What's going on?" I could see the worry creases around her eyes.
I wiped off the sweat that may or may not have been on my forehead. "Seriously, why are you here? You're never in the library without me!"
"We were looking up a spell," Marlene answered in a rushed voice. "What is going on, Lily?"
"An explanation would be nice," Alice agreed incredulously. "What's so important that you ran all the way here? Was it Snape? Did he do something to you?"
"Or any other Slytherin?" Marlene added. She smirked. "I've been looking for a reason to jinx one of them."
"I'm through," I finally managed to say, albeit, not as dramatically as I had hoped. "Done." I was wheezing slightly from the run, and still kind of arched over. Their reaction, though, was exactly what I needed to keep up my rant.
"Done?" Alice asked. She looked at Marlene for help. Marlene shrugged uselessly and both turned back to me for an explanation.
"I'm done. No more changing. No more phases. No more experiments. No more anything." They exchanged a curious look, but didn't interrupt. "Listen, I love you both, but I won't be your puppet anymore. I'm not a rebel. I don't want to change. I like yelling and being a bit uptight sometimes. I know I'm not the most suave person in the world, and maybe I am too awkward to be completely charming, but I. Don't. Care. I can't let you guys change me because of one little thing. For a boy who didn't want me to change at all."
"Lily..." Marlene tried to intervene.
"No, Marlene, let me finish, please." Marlene looked slightly taken aback, but smiled appreciatively and motioned for me to, please, continue. "It doesn't matter if mastering all of those things would help me get James, don't you see? He doesn't care that I'm not the most relaxed person he's ever seen. Do you know why?"
They both continued to stare at me, identical smiles on their faces. When they didn't answer, I closed up my rant strongly, determination leaking out of my voice, with the answer.
Grinning, I finished, "Because he's fancied me all along. He liked me just the way I was." Feeling rather accomplished, I let out a sigh of relief. It felt like the world had been taken off of my shoulders. Standing up a bit straighter now, I felt proud.
Smiling, they both moved in for the inevitable hug. I held them both tight before the Hugging Time Limit was met, and then let go.
Marlene laughed. "We were wondering when you would finally get it." she said. After pulling out a chair at the table they kept their bags on, she sat down and motioned for me to join her.
"Well, I.... What?" I spun to Alice for help. She had already taken her seat, and I decided to join them. Sitting felt good on my out-of-shape legs which felt like they had been put under the Jelly Legs Jinx.
Again, Alice and Marlene exchanged grins. Alice even let a little giggle escape. "We know that you're in the top of our year, but, Lily, dear, you really are unbelievably thick sometimes."
They rolled their eyes at the glare I shot them. "I... what?"
"Did you really think you needed changing?" Marlene asked. She sounded outraged, as if anyone could possibly believe that. "We were trying to help you, yes, but we didn't actually want to change you."
Confused, I looked between them. Marlene grinned and Alice shrugged in a "what can you do?" kind of way.
"I... don't understand," I admitted.
Alice patted my arm in a dear old mum sort of way. With a comforting smile, she continued. "When you came up to us saying James said you needed to be more rebellious, we didn't know what to do. We came up the idea of trying to make you change so much that you would see the absolute absurdity of the situation."
"Which you have," Marlene declared. "Just now."
Alice snorted, all motherly things about her vanishing. "Took you long enough."
"We wanted you to realize that it doesn't matter if this bloke is your arch enemy or the love of your life-"
"Which, ironically, James was both, by the way," Alice unnecessarily threw in.
"-you should never change for him."
"Particularly if he doesn't want you to change anything about yourself to begin with."
I stared at my two, apparently wise, mates in complete shock. They apparently knew more about the situation than I did. Marlene was still playing with the little bits of paper, pushing them around in circles and flicking the occasional ones in my direction. Alice was waiting patiently for my response by staring me down.
"How'd you guys know that I'd go along with it?" I asked. Marlene looked up from her paper ball collection. "I mean... how'd you know that I wouldn't keep the changes and take on a New Lily aspect? A rebellious Lily?"
Alice snorted. "Really, Lily?" she asked. "You really have to ask that?" When I shot her a glare and chucked a handful of Marlene's collection at her, she was more cooperative. "We're your best mates. We know that you're unbelievably stubborn. We just had to make you realize all of this."
Marlene ran a hand through her hair. "Which took a lot more effort than I thought," she admitted. "Merlin, I was getting desperate with ideas."
Alice laughed. "That picture of Sirius bit was genius. Completely ridiculous."
"Wait, wait, wait," I said. Grabbing my head, I tried to figure everything out. There had already been so much comprehension these past twenty minutes, and I was running on empty. Sam was definitely right about poor nutrition.
Trying to straighten everything out in my head was the hardest. From the beginning, they had this plan to change me while... proving to me that I shouldn't let anyone do that? They created a whole plot, phases, adventures.... Had gotten so many people involved, and it was just to make a point.
"You two are truly, absolutely mad," I finally said. "I hope you realize this."
Alice tilted her head from side to side. "Eh, it's been mentioned once or twice."
"Don't think you're getting off this easy, though, Lily," Marlene threw in. She was once again smirking, this time it reached her eyes. It was slightly startling after this heartfelt realization. "There's one more thing you've got to do." She gathered up the remaining bits of parchment into her hand.
I groaned. "Not another phase, because we're done with these now. You can't keep these going when you told me the secret." The babbling could have continued if Alice hadn't thrown a "Shut up, Lily" in there. I glared at her and crossed my arms, but shut my mouth and let Marlene continue.
"You've got to talk to James." On James, she tossed the paper in the air, and little balls of parchment rained down on top of me, my own celebrational confetti for a reconciliation with James.
A/n: Heyyy you guys. Listen, I'm REALLY sorry that this was an even LONGER wait than before. I could throw excuses at you, but I won't. There are a couple things you need to know, though.
There are only a few more chapters left to this, if that. It's rounding up, as you can see.
I've got my own laptop now, so writing will be easier (finally).
Truly sorry about the wait!
Much love, some goofy friends, a load of chocolate, and a Subway gift card,