Disclaimer: 'Tis fanfiction, so there is a zero percent chance of me being JKR and having any ownership rights.
Author's Note: I hope you all enjoy my cute oneshot. I woke up in the middle of the night a few days ago and this story just came to me. I'm not kidding.
To Kiss a Bloke
It wasn't until the Marauders announced an inter-house game of Truth or Dare that they realized the unexpectedly large amount of upperclassmen students who had stayed for the winter holidays. The game had been set for eleven o' clock on Christmas Eve night in the Room of Requirement, and was to last until dawn. The holiday spirit even went as far as to allow them to invite the Slytherins, although this was mostly due to a plea from Lily Evans. At first, James was reluctant to give out information on the Room of Requirement to the enemy house, but Lily had pointed out that in the previous year, they had trapped Snape inside the Room and asked Moaning Myrtle to keep him company. That little incident, of course, had given most of the Room's secrets away to the Slytherins.
The reason there were so many people waiting anxiously in the Room of Requirement that night was because it was the Marauders who had planned the event. And everybody knew that something planned by the coolest people at Hogwarts just had to be worth their time and interest.
And this time around, the event had been planned by all of the Marauders, not just James Potter and Sirius Black. Peter Pettigrew always helped to some degree with whatever James thought was cool, but this time even Remus Lupin had decided to participate in the creation of the Truth or Dare game. And he had been surprisingly enthusiastic about it. The others had a sneaking suspicion that this eagerness for something so un-Remuslike was somehow related to him wanting to get over a recent breakup with his boyfriend. Despite the enthusiasm, however, he still warned his friends ahead of time that they would be sorry if they made him do or say anything too extreme.
They gave everyone about twenty minutes to arrive, grab some snacks, and get settled. The Room had been decorated perfectly for the occasion. Glistening Christmas decorations covered the walls, muggle rock music filled the air, and a tiny cauldron of Veritaserum was placed directly in the center of the circle. Since only fifth through seventh years had been invited, the Room had been designed to involve a few intimate activities. It was equipped with copious amounts of magically-enhanced mistletoe, and if things got intense—several dark broom closets.
Remus glanced over at Sirius and noticed a look on his face that clearly said, "I don't think I can wait for a dare to try out one of those closets". He shook his head at his friend. He'd never met a guy with a crazier sex drive. Maybe if Sirius would tone it down a notch, girls would actually want to stay with him for more than one night.
Once the entire party had congregated in the middle of the room, it was time for the fun to begin. Sirius stood up and held his wand to his throat to project his voice, "Ladies and gentlemen…wizards and witches…" Sirius emphasized the last part with a wink to a group of sixth year Ravenclaws on the other side of the circle.
James stood up and pushed him to the side. "Let's get this game started so that this horny bastard here can get laid as quickly as possible!" Sirius pretended to look shocked and appalled by this interjection. Everyone in the room laughed at their antics, with the exception of some of the Slytherins who were trying unsuccessfully to hide their excitement for the game to begin. James continued, "I'll start." His eyes turned dark as he looked directly across the room at a girl with fiery red hair. "Evans…truth or dare?"
"Have you got a death wish, Potter?"
"I wouldn't mind it so much it you killed me."
Remus ran his hand down his face. At this rate, the game wasn't really going to begin. He cleared his throat loudly out of anxiousness more so than annoyance. Lily briefly turned her focus to Remus and smiled. "Okay Potter. Truth."
James looked stunned that Lily had actually gone along with the game. He had really only asked her because he loved their banter so much, but he hadn't expected her to respond positively. The real prize had originally been Snape, to whom he wanted to ask, "How often do you shower."
As James pondered a good truth question for his red-haired goddess, Remus caught Lily's eye and saw her pointing at him as she mouthed "I'm doing this for you The werewolf shook his head and smiled. Of course she was. The two of them had discussed the previous night about how they both wanted to leave this party satisfied…even if that meant Lily had to put up with James Potter.
James had finally decided on something that wasn't going to get him in too much trouble with her. "Truthfully, would you ever consider making out with another girl?"
Lily snorted. "I'd consider it before going anywhere near you!" but the grin of amusement on her face told them all that she wasn't telling the complete truth. The game continued in this direction from here, forcing embarrassment onto people with dares and testing the boundaries of sexuality with truth questions.
An hour into the game, Peter's trousers had been removed by a Slytherin seventh year, Gideon Prewitt wrote a sexually explicit note from McGonagall to Slughorn, three timid Hufflepuff girls were sent to Slughorn's office to slip said note under his door, two Gryffindor boys under the influence of Veritaserum admitted to cheating on their girlfriends with each other, and James was forced to take his glasses off and give a lap dance to the first person he blindly walked into (which ended up being Ravenclaw fifth year Kingsley Shacklebolt, but no one dared admit this to James). The only person who didn't seem to be enjoying himself was Sirius, as he surprisingly hadn't been the subject of any truths or dares. His interest in the game was only sparked when someone asked Alice and Bertha to step under the mistletoe.
"Oh Merlin, I wonder if I'd be able to do that." Sirius mumbled, watching the two most heterosexual girls in the room peck at each other's lips under the influence of the magical mistletoe. Catcalls and whistles filled the room, some of them even coming from Alice's boyfriend Frank.
Remus, who wasn't turned on by the display in the least, looked to his friend who had just spoken. "Do what? If I recall correctly, you've done more than just pecked at the lips of both of those girls."
"No, I mean kiss another bloke. I don't think I'd be able to do it, especially in front of this peanut gallery." He gestured toward the group of boys egging on the irritated girls in the middle of the room.
Remus grinned, feeling brave. "Is that a challenge?"
Sirius shot his friend a confused look. "What?"
"Nothing, just forget it."
The game of Truth or Dare raged on like a battle, each person trying to make the person after them do or say something more shocking. James, who had needed an excuse to get out of the Room after the lap dance incident, returned with a whole gang of house elves bearing gigantic bottles of Firewhiskey. Everyone grabbed paper cups and bottles were passes around. Within minutes, faces were noticeably rosier. Eventually, the game focused on Remus, who had decided to skip the paper cups and drink straight from the bottle. "Remus Lupin," began a giggling seventh year Ravenclaw, "how many boys have you slept with?"
Remus sighed in relief. Thank Merlin she asked a question about his homosexuality, as opposed to his lycanthropy. He hadn't realized that the girl had been a Ravenclaw until after he'd already agreed to a truth question. He'd have to be more careful, as people from that house could be eerily perceptive. "Of the people in this room, I've slept with five," he blushed as he answered. Although most people knew he preferred boys, he still liked keeping his romantic endeavors relatively private. However he wasn't about to forget his conversation with Lily. Remus needed some sort of rebound after the breakup with that jerk. At this point, he didn't care if it had to be a Slytherin.
Lily, who appeared to have already consumed an entire bottle of Firewhiskey, shouted, "And how many outside of this room?"
Remus laughed and called back, "Wouldn't you like to know!" He had to admit, he was beginning to enjoy himself quite a bit. Sirius, however, was a different story. The boy looked so bored he could have been sleeping with his eyes open. Remus turned to him and offered a bottle of Firewhiskey as he said, "Sirius Black, truth or dare?" The room quieted. Everyone had been too afraid to make Sirius the subject of the game, knowing full well that the dare given to him had to be worthy of his personality.
The long-haired marauder perked up, finally having his chance at this glorious game. He grinned at Remus and shouted, "DARE!" and then he waited. Since Remus was a Marauder, Sirius believed that it was a given that the dare would involve something dangerous and hilarious. Preferably something related to streaking in the Forbidden Forest. Sirius was also relatively horny, so he wouldn't mind a chance to drag a bird into one of those broom closets, which so far were yet to be used.
"Okay, Sirius," all eyes were on the suddenly mischievous (and slightly tipsy) Remus Lupin, who spoke loudly and clearly so that nobody would mishear him, "before the end of the party, you have to snog another bloke thoroughly for five minutes." Everyone stared, too shocked and intrigued to make a sound. Before continuing, Remus took a swig from the bottle of Firewhiskey that he had offered Sirius. "I will be timing you and you won't be allowed to use one of the bloom closets." Eventually, cheers, whistles, hoots, and applause resonated through the room. At the discolored look on Sirius' face, it became evident that Remus had finally dished out the perfect dare.
James began laughing and thumped Remus on the back. "Nice one, Moony!" Then the bespectacled Marauder turned to the rest of the party and said, "Everyone! Make sure you keep an eye on Sirius! Don't let him leave until he's played tonsil hockey with one of the lucky blokes in this room!"
Remus grimaced. "Tonsil hockey? That sounds vaguely painful."
Sirius slung an arm around Remus' shoulder. "I dunno, Moony. It might be worth meeting the guy whose tongue can reach that far down someone's throat," the glint of laughter had returned to Sirius' eyes after a brief moment of shock.
"You're serious about going through with this dare?" Peter asked incredulously. The room groaned in unison.
The boy in question grinned. "Of course I'm—"
"Padfoot, if you finish that sentence I'll change the dare to involve an all-male orgy." The other boy gagged and backed away from Remus.
"I think you've had enough to drink, mate," Sirius gasped, removing the bottle from his friend's hands just before it reached his lips. Deciding it wouldn't be wise to drink any Firewhiskey if he had to look closely for the perfect bloke to kiss, Sirius handed to bottle to Lily, who had been scouting the room for more alcohol.
Since Sirius was allowed to perform his dare at any given time, the Truth or Dare game continued for another hour. By two o' clock in the morning, the questioning had been reduced to "Severus Snape, are you a vampire?" The Marauders agreed to put the game on an indefinite break.
The four Marauders sat lazily against a wall, scanning the room. James left them once he spotted the drunken Lily, deciding that this would be the perfect time to woo her. Remus vaguely realized that he should probably warn his female friend, but then he remembered how Lily had admitted to him that she might actually be falling for the boy who'd been obsessed with her since third year.
"Hey, Moony?" Remus jumped a little. He'd been so busy watching James try to approach Lily that he'd completely forgotten about the anxious boy sitting next to him.
"What's up?" he turned to look at Sirius, who had a very determined look on his face.
"I need you to help me sort out the blokes in the room."
Remus smiled at him sleepily. "Okay."
"Alright. I need to know which ones are gay and which ones swing both ways. I need to know who's taken, who's single, and whose boyfriends went home for the holidays. Which guys are out of my league, which guys are the best kissers, which guys might be interested in me, which guys you're interested in, and which guys are your ex-boyfriends so I know who's off-limits. Oh, and I don't want to go anywhere near someone who's going to grab my ass. I hate it when girls do that."
"Woah, for heaven's sake slow down. You can't ask me that many questions at once when I'm drunk! First of all," Remus was almost laughing, "now I'm dying to know which girl has groped your butt. And secondly, I don't care if you snog anyone I've been with. With the exception of last week, I've been the one dumping guys…not the other way around."
Sirius looked at Remus in surprise. "Picky, aren't we? And is this so-called exception here today?"
"No, he's home for the holidays," Remus looked genuinely sad.
"Oh Merlin, Moony. I'm sorry."
Remus laughed and shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Pads. I probably would have dumped him in a week anyway. He was starting to show signs of some Pureblood prejudices I don't agree with, so it really wouldn't have lasted long…" he trailed off and closed his eyes.
Peter eventually got bored of a conversation that had nothing to do with James, so he stood up and went to go talk with his acquaintances in Hufflepuff. Sirius eventually turned to face Remus and gave his friend a good, long look. He could hardly believe that anyone would want to break up with someone as boyishly cute as Remus. It was funny, really, that Sirius had never noticed the handsome features of the boy who he saw naked on every full moon morning. Although in his defense, keeping Remus from losing too much blood had always been his top priority. But right now, it was so hard not to notice how toned Remus' chest was. Only for dates and parties did the tawny-haired boy dress himself in tight t-shirts and trousers.
"Why are you staring at my chest?" he heard Remus whisper. But Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and didn't answer. Instead, he went back to scanning the crowd for potential boys to snog. Remus pointed to a sandy-haired Ravenclaw sixth-year who'd been eyeing Sirius up since the dare had been announced. "Sid Corner is pretty fit. He's a little out of my league, but it would definitely be okay for you to kiss him."
Sirius was completely taken aback. "What are you saying? How could someone like me, who isn't even gay, be able to kiss Sid Corner, while someone like you, an experienced homosexual, isn't in good enough for him?"
He looked Remus in the eye to make sure he hadn't just offended his friend. Fortunately for him, Remus had downed half a bottle of Firewhiskey not too long ago. "It's because you're much sexier than I am."
If Remus' hadn't been drunk, Sirius would have argued. But while Remus didn't stagger, giggle, or slur his speech when under the influence, the werewolf did not take kindly to extensive arguments. A few too many black eyes were still fresh in Sirius' mind for him to consider talking back.
Peter and James returned shortly, the latter sporting a large red handprint on his cheek. Sirius shook his head. "Let me guess, she couldn't keep her hands off you?"
James grinned and punched his friend in the arm. "You figure out who to snog yet?"
Suddenly, Peter chimed in. "Padfoot, you should snog a Hufflepuff!"
"Your mom should snog a Hufflepuff!"
Remus sighed. "This is getting nowhere."
By two-thirty, the Christmas party had developed into something more along the lines of a club. Guys and girls were making out in every corner of the room. To prove that she was still straight, Alice had forcefully dragged Frank into one of the broom closets. He ended up bumping his head on the way in, but he really wasn't complaining. The muggle rock music boomed louder and eventually Lily came to her senses and asked James to dance.
Sirius peeled his eyes away from the slightly creepy Slytherins who were giving him come-hither looks, and noticed Remus smiling sadly at Lily and James. He slung his arm around his tawny-haired friend. "What's up, Rem?"
Remus sighed. "Nothing. I'm just glad Lily's warming up to James. That's really all she wanted out of this party."
"You don't look glad," Sirius pointed out. A certain sadness graced the werewolf's features. Sirius tried to ignore the fact that this was tugging on his heartstrings. "What did you want out of this party?" he asked.
He felt his friend shrug. "I just wanted to do something that would get me to forget about last week."
"Hmm…" Sirius thought, "Maybe I should help you find a guy to snog instead of the other way around."
Remus snorted, a glint visible in his amber eyes. "No, that's okay Padfoot. I'm the one who gave you this dare, so it's only fair that I help you out with it…wait a second. You're scared aren't you?"
Sirius' hung his head. "You caught me. I've studied over every single one of the blokes you suggested and none of them seem like my type. Plus I think those Slytherins want more than just kissing. I'll bet they're Regulus' secret boy-toys and they think I'll be just like him."
"You studied them over? As in checked them out? You are straight, aren't you?" Sirius' face turned the color of Lily's hair. "Look, Pads. Since you definitely like girls, you shouldn't try to pick a guy to snog based on which ones are your type. You aren't going to date them or anything."
"Right. It's just a dare. I should be able to snog any guy I want," Sirius said with semi-confidence.
The other boy laughed. "You should at least try to stay away from the straight ones."
"Aww, you mean I can't play tonsil hockey with Prongs?"
Remus and Sirius burst out laughing, startling the Slytherins who'd been trying to approach Sirius for a dance. Sirius watched the laughter light up his friend's face, and instantly became glad that he was able to easily cheer him up. A truly happy smile was rarely seen on Remus' face, but it really suited him when it appeared.
Sirius removed his arm from Remus' shoulder and said, "Well I guess I'll take Peter's advice and test my chances with a Hufflepuff."
"Kirk Johnson is probably your best bet. He's that guy with the black hair that I dated last winter," Remus pointed to said person, who was currently bent over to tie his shoe. Sirius gave Remus a thumbs-up and began making his way through the crowd.
"Hey Johnson," he said casually once he had reached the boy.
Johnson nodded. "Black. Wanna dance?" A song with screeching guitars and a heavy beat blasted through the room, which had dimmed and was now filled with colored lights.
Sirius thought for a moment. Did he really want to dance with someone of the same sex? All he'd really come over to do was ask Kirk Johnson to snog him to fulfill the dare. Sirius really didn't want to do anything else even remotely gay. He still had the "Hogwarts dreamboat" status to uphold among the ladies. However, Sirius was out of luck. He probably wasn't going to get a snog from the Hufflepuff unless he earned it with some dancing. "Sure," he finally agreed.
And so they danced. It felt a little weird to have his arms around another guy, especially since Johnson had more Quidditch-toned muscles than even James. He tried desperately to ignore the boy draped around him and focused on the other side of the room where Remus sat chatting with James and Lily. If he looked anywhere else, he'd have to deal with the angry girls and the jealous boys who were glaring daggers at them. "What's the matter Black? Don't like my dancing?"
"Huh?" Sirius' attention returned to Johnson. "Oh no, that's not it. I was just—"
"Checking out Lupin? I wouldn't blame you. I was bloody upset when he dumped me."
Sirius twitched. "What? Of course I wasn't checking him out! We're best mates!" This was completely true. He'd only looked over to see if Remus was watching him. He wasn't interesting in ogling the body of someone he'd…just ogled the body of about half an hour ago. Sirius slapped himself in the forehead.
Johnson chuckled, causing his obscene muscles to move up and down. "Lupin's not drop dead gorgeous like yourself, but he's definitely fit. Most of us agree that we're pretty lucky to have him on our side."
"Is that so?" Sirius was getting a little disgusted by hearing this guy talk about Remus. "Listen, Johnson. I'm getting a little tired. I think I'll head back over to my friends."
Johnson leaned into Sirius to whisper in his ear. "You're not gonna try out Lupin's dare with me?"
"Ummm, we'll see," he said awkwardly as they broke apart. Sirius walked briskly to the other side of the room and plopped himself down in between James and Remus.
Remus turned to him. "That looked like it didn't go so well."
Sirius was surprised. "So you were watching that?"
"Of course. I'm the one who's making you go through with this dare. And I said I was going to time you, remember?"
The long-haired Marauder stared at Remus for a moment. Remus carried a bemused expression, which Sirius had to admit, enhanced his boyish features quite pleasingly. Suddenly, Sirius turned to James, who was currently whispering into a giggling Lily's ear. "Oi, Prongs."
James broke away from Lily to give his friend an intensely annoyed look. "What the bloody hell do you want?"
"I need you to time me for my dare," he whispered.
James looked genuinely confused. "I thought Moony was going to do it." Then, suddenly realization dawned on James' face. He lowered his voice to a whisper as well, "Oh I get it. You want me to cheat, right? How long should I really time you for? Two and half?"
"Huh? Then what's the poin—" And then suddenly, James knew the point.
Sirius had turned back the other way, grabbed Remus by the front of his shirt, and crashed their lips together. For a brief moment, Remus' arms flailed around in a confused fashion, then after a few seconds they reached around Sirius' torso. Sirius had no idea why he was doing this, but suddenly that didn't matter so much. Remus began fiercely kissing back; gaining control so he could stand them both up. Limbs knocked against the wall as they got to their feet, neither boy able to part from the other's mouth. Suddenly, Remus had Sirius pinned to that wall, one leg in between both of Sirius' and hands tangled in his hair.
Moving with increased bravery, Sirius closed his eyes and pulled Remus' head closer to him, slowly forcing his tongue into the other boy's mouth. He could feel Remus moaning and saw sparks appear behind his eyelids. As Remus' tongue met with his, the sensation was overbearing. Sirius' body felt hot and shaky, as though his blood was moving ten times faster than normal…and it felt bloody fantastic.
Sirius and Remus continued to explore each other's mouths and eventually, once the numbness of shock wore off, their hands began to explore each other's bodies. Sirius rocked the front of his body into Remus and couldn't help but grin when he heard the other boy growl. Then, Remus' fingers scraped down Sirius' back in one slow, fiery motion, eliciting a load moan from the black-haired Marauder. This caught the attention of anyone in the room who hadn't been staring yet. Sirius vaguely heard somebody speaking, but he really had other things to concentrate on.
Sirius' heart was pounding fast. He couldn't believe this was Remus Lupin maneuvering him over to one of the many couches scattered around the room. After a few moments of walking without wanting to break apart, Sirius fell, rather ungracefully, onto one of the cushions. The other boy landed on top of him and suddenly they realized that their mouths weren't connected anymore. Remus was breathing heavily, and Sirius could smell the strong scent of Firewhiskey. He vaguely noted that he was gasping for air as well, but the ecstasy of the kiss was still swimming around in his head. Amber eyes pierced lustfully into gray, and an odd sensation of want pounded through Sirius' body.
"Remus…" Their mouths were both open, only a centimeter apart. But the kiss that came was nothing like the rough and unplanned one from moments ago. Now Sirius could feel passion as the kisses got slower and steadier with tiny breaks in between. Remus' let his weight rest on top of Sirius' body, while Sirius decided to cup his friend's face with his hands as they kissed. Sweet sounds of pleasure escaped both of them, and Sirius just knew his face was turning redder with every second. Each and every touch felt like a miracle to Sirius and he had no idea why.
From across the room, Lily couldn't keep her eyes off the two snogging boys. Someone had turned down the music, so it was easy for her to hear the smacking of lips and tongues and the soft moans and exclamations that escaped Remus and Sirius. It became evident that Remus had done something incredibly spectacular to the great Sirius Black when a loud "OH!" came from their little couch, followed by some very Remus-like chuckles. Lily blushed and felt a wide grin spread on her face. She turned to look at James, who was staring at his watch and snickering. The girl decided that it might be time to see if he could make that noise.
But before Lily had the chance to start anything with him, the bespectacled Marauder marched over to his two best friends currently occupying not only a couch, but also the attention of the entire party. "Oi, you wankers! It's been twenty minutes!"
"Really?" said a rather dazed and out-of-breath Sirius. Remus rolled off of his friend and stood up. Sirius couldn't help but grin at how thoroughly disheveled the other boy looked. "Moony…"
"What?" Remus answered, looking slightly scandalized.
Sirius face was flushed and as soon as he tried to stand up, he ended up sinking to his knees. "That was the hottest thing…ever." He clutched at his chest to feel his heart, which was somehow fluttering and pounding at the same time.
"I-is that so?" stuttered Remus, who was now looking horribly embarrassed upon noticing the attention of every soul in the room. He took a few steps back from the couch and turned to James and Lily, who were holding hands and sporting identical grins. Remus gulped, his face burning as he slowly started walking towards them. He couldn't believe himself. Usually he had been so good at keeping under control around crowds. But kissing Sirius had shocked the entire world out of his mind.
Remus closed his eyes for a brief moment and then turned back around to face the boy who he'd been exploring only half a minute ago. "Yeah?"
"Is that how it feels with all guys?"
"Umm…possibly?" Remus tried to sound calm, but more and more eyes were focusing on the two of them, who were still a little out of breath.
Sirius looked down at the carpet he knelt on, not caring the least bit about the other students in the room. "Oh Merlin, I think I'm gay," he said in a winded voice. A few girls in the room screamed.
"You can't be ser—"
During the next week, all Sirius could talk about was how hot it was kissing guys. Of course, as Remus had pointed out numerous times, he'd only kissed one guy so how could he possibly know? But Sirius claimed he did know. Every chance he got, he mentioned the fact that the thought of kissing blokes gave him weird tingling sensations and made his heart threaten to burst out of his chest. He flushed with happiness every time his mind wandered to that party.
Meanwhile, Lily and James had become an established couple almost overnight. They walked around the castle together, they ate together, they sat horrendously close to each other in the common room…basically, they were doing everything Remus wished he could be doing with a boyfriend right now. Unfortunately, it seemed that every guy he might have had a chance with before the Christmas party were now under the assumption that he wanted Sirius Black. Remus became so desperate for a relationship, that he even tried getting back together with Kirk Johnson.
"Sorry Lupin, but I was real upset when you broke my heart last year…and I couldn't let you do that to Black." As soon as Johnson was out of sight, Remus' fist collided with the stone wall of the castle.
"Heavens Remus, are you okay?" he heard a familiar female voice. Remus sighed. Finally he'd get the chance to talk to Lily alone. She'd be able to help him sort everything out. He turned around to smile at her, only to come face-to-face with the dynamic duo.
"Oh, hey guys," he said in a rather distraught manner. "You…excited about Hogsmeade tomorrow?"
James laughed. "Not as much as Sirius is, let me tell you."
"Oh no…" Remus groaned.
"It's like you got him addicted to drugs or something, Moony! He's got his first date with a bloke lined up for tomorrow!"
"Ugh you've got to be kidding me. I should have never let him kiss me. No, actually I should have never given him that dare." The werewolf began rubbing his temples. Lily moved behind him and started massaging his shoulders.
"Don't you boys find it a little odd that Sirius all of a sudden thinks he's attracted to men?"
"Yes!" James and Remus shouted at the same time.
Lily continued. "Well personally, I don't think he's going to enjoy kissing just any bloke he pleases."
"That's what I've been trying to tell him!" exclaimed Remus. "But it goes in one ear and out the other! He's not going to find any guys who are looking for a relationship. All he'll find are guys who want to get directly into his pants!"
James and Lily gave each other a serious look and then Lily said, "Relationship? Are you sure that's something he wants?"
"What? Oh, sorry. I guess I've just got relationships on the mind. All the guys think I'm taken just because Sirius kissed me, so I haven't been able to find a boyfriend."
"Have you talked to Pads about this?"
"You daft? I can't get a word in! He won't shut up about being heart-sick over kissing boys!"
"You mean you," stated Lily.
Remus raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"You mean he's heart-sick over kissing you."
The werewolf blushed, and it became obvious to James and Lily that something that simple hadn't crossed Remus' mind. As Remus became noticeably flustered, the other two looked at each other again and nodded, a glint visible in Lily's eye.
The Hogsmeade weekend during Christmas break had always been Sirius' favorite, as there was an excess of snow with which to chuck at unsuspecting Slytherins. He would usually chase Remus around town until he agreed to be on his team for snowball fights (because everyone knew Remus had the best throwing arm out of the four). Eventually the game would end with James shoving ice down Peter's trousers and Remus taking a break to make snow angels. Then, when the Marauders were thoroughly wet and exhausted, they would track snow into Honeydukes and get hollered at by the shopkeeper.
With these happy memories fresh in his mind, Sirius almost regretted striding down the path from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade hand-in-hand with Sid Corner. The boy positively reeked of cologne and hadn't stopped smiling toothily since Sirius had asked him out the night before. But the Marauder was willing to put all these things aside for the sake of the date. It was hard for him to explain, but he was really looking forward to being able to kiss another guy. The first time had been fantastic. Why hadn't Remus ever told him how bloody brilliant it felt getting intimate with other blokes? It could have saved him loads of bad dates with girls who didn't bother brushing their teeth.
Eventually the two made it to Madame Puddifoot's. The glittering Christmas decorations and charmed pixies were still floating around the ceiling, despite it being a week after the holiday. Sirius didn't mind the décor so much, as he had taken dozens of girls to this place over the years. Unfortunately, it looked like those dozens of girls just happened to be sitting at the tables in front of them. He could feel the embarrassment climbing up is neck as many of them spotted their former boyfriend walking in with Sid Corner. But Corner seemed completely unfazed as he pulled one of the pastel pink chairs out for Sirius to sit down. Sirius cringed a little at the fact that he was the one being treated like the girl on this date. Hopefully when it got to the snogging, there would be less of a dominance problem.
"So, Sirius. I'm glad you decided to pick me as your first choice," Corner said in what Sirius could only assume was supposed to be his sexy-voice. Oh Merlin, was this how Remus acted on dates with guys? Somehow, Sirius didn't think so. Madame Puddifoot scooted over to their table and began to pour them some fragrant tea.
Sirius could only really nod in response to Corner's statement. Then suddenly, he felt Corner's rough hands on top of his own. "You feelin' alright, Love?" his pale, freckly face was mere centimeters away from Sirius', causing the Marauder's eyes to water from close contact with the cologne.
…Wait a second, Love? Who gave Corner the right to call him that? Sirius tried to shake it off. He could tell he was about to get his second kiss with a bloke, so he closed his eyes and parted his lips. Almost instantly, Corner's tongue had slipped into his mouth, capturing him in something Sirius could only describe as sloppy and tasteless. He could clearly hear some of the girls in the room gasping. This wasn't how it was supposed to feel. He needed to instantly have his skin tingling and his heart pounding.
Corner would have continued exploring Sirius' mouth, but Sirius was starting to feel sick, so he broke away as quickly as the kiss had started. The other boy looked confused. "What's up?"
Sirius' eyes darted around to the blushing girls and their irritated boyfriends. It must be the atmosphere, he decided. Too many people staring at him…that must have been it. Otherwise they would have had a better kiss. "Uh, Corner, why don't we take this outside?"
Corner unsurprisingly grinned toothily. "Fine with me."
Once outside and away from Madame Puddifoot's, they tried to resume the snog. This time, Sirius tried being more assertive, like Remus had done when he pushed him against the wall. Sirius became flushed just thinking of it. But somehow, the kiss still didn't feel like anything. In fact, his snog with Sid Corner was even less exciting than most of the girls Sirius had been with…
"Ugh, urk what are you doing?" Sirius yelped, pushing Corner violently away.
"Sorry, Love. But I couldn't really resist touching. But you've got a pretty fine ass, has anybody ever told you?"
Sirius strode into Honeydukes at half-past twelve, deciding that a lunch filled with chocolate was the only way to compensate for what he had just experienced. Inside he found James, Lily, Remus, and Peter trying out some free fudge samples. He noticed Remus scrunching up his nose at what looked like a square of peppermint fudge. Sirius approached him from behind and reached around to grab a dark chocolate square of fudge. "Here Moony, try this one."
Remus turned toward Sirius, who fed him the fudge square with a toothpick. "Mmmm," he described. "But I already touched the peppermint one, so one of us is going to have to eat it."
Sirius stuck out his tongue. "Give it to Wormtail."
James moved over to join them. "Wow Pads, that was a record-setting date. I thought by now you'd still be reveling in your 'mind-blowingly fantastic' snog with a bloke."
"More like 'mind-numbingly boring' snog with a bloke."
Lily sighed. "Sirius, don't you think you might have been overreacting a little bit to your kiss with Remus? Are you sure your excitement at the party wasn't because you enjoyed all those people watching you?" Remus and Sirius both shot her odd looks.
"What? Evans how could you say that? I was ready to throw up over at Puddifoot's with all my ex-flames breathing down my neck as a bloke played tonsil hockey with me!" James snorted. Then suddenly, it dawned on Sirius that if people had been watching him during both of his kisses, how could he even have considered that to be the reason he hated the kiss with Sid Corner?
Lily continued. "Could the difference be that you weren't sexually attracted to Sid before you kissed him?"
"Lily!" Remus' eyes widened and his face turned bright red. Sirius, however, considered this for a moment. Evans was right in saying he hadn't been attracted to Corner to begin with. Could that have been what kept the kiss from heating up? But then that would have to mean…Sirius franticly shook his head.
"I need to get outside for a moment. Moony, can you come with me? I need some advice." Remus knew this was a lie, but he agreed to follow Sirius out of the shop. They decided to stay close to the building in order to keep relatively warm.
The two Marauders watched each other for a few minutes. Once Sirius began rocking back and forth on his feet, Remus decided to speak up. "So what else did you hate about this date with Sid Corner, besides the apparently uneventful kiss? Depending on how you answer, I might be able to consider myself in the same league as him."
The tawny-haired boy was surprised to see Sirius blushing. "He…felt up my ass."
Remus burst into a fit of giggles. Then he glanced up and saw a look of pain on his friend's face. "Oh, poor baby," he mocked.
"This isn't funny, Rem! I didn't feel it with him. I didn't feel the tingling or the fluttering or the sparks or the…" suddenly, Sirius noticed that Remus had broken eye contact and was looking at Sirius' lips almost expectantly, most likely not even realizing he was doing so. "…Moony?"
Remus looked up, blushing profusely. "Huh?"
Suddenly, like magic, the pieces fell into place. Sirius remembered noticing the boyish features of Remus' face, highlighted by every expression he made. He remembered staring at Remus' muscular chest. He remembered it tugging on his heartstrings when he knew Remus was sad about the breakup. He remembered wanting someone, anyone to give Remus what he had come to the party for. Sirius had looked to see if Remus was watching him as he danced with Kirk Johnson. No, he'd been looking to see if Remus was jealous. His heart leapt when Remus revealed that he had indeed been watching him.
Then, slowly, the scenes of the kiss flowed back into his mind. But this time he remembered it differently. It was Remus whose arms snaked around his body while giving in to the kiss. Remus who used his werewolf-enhanced strength to thrust him against the wall. Remus who caused him to moan. And it had been Remus' amber eyes lustfully piercing into his own. Remus whose name was on his lips as they prepared themselves to give in to the sudden want. Remus who nibbled on his ear and then let out that adorable giggle after Sirius had yelled in pleasure. After the kiss, Sirius remembered sinking to his knees and clutching his heart. He hadn't even registered the first time James tried to tell him the five minutes were up. He hadn't noticed the other people in the room, which was exactly what he noticed when kissing Sid Corner. Oh Merlin, Sirius finally understood.
"Padfoot? It's been like, five minutes. What on earth are you thinking about?"
"What? Kissing a bloke?"
Sirius shook his head. "No, kissing you." He wrapped his arms around Remus' waist and pulled him in until their lips touched. Instantly, he felt that sensation he'd been longing for since that first kiss had ended. Sirius felt Remus nip at his bottom lip as he snaked his arms around the taller boy's neck. Their kiss deepened, heat radiating off their bodies as they embraced in the freezing cold Hogsmeade air. Eventually, Sirius pulled away and looked his friend in the eyes. Remus, quite surprisingly, was grinning ear to ear. "What's that face for?"
"Because now we've both realized why you've been acting so stupid all week," Remus responded.
Sirius barked out a laugh. "Is that so?"
Remus' tongue slowly traced Sirius' jaw. "Yep," he whispered into his friend's ear. The other boy moaned.
"Sirius, you sure you like kissing blokes?"
"Nope. But I'm positive I like kissing you." And with that, they were in each other's arms again, their lips the only means of explaining the fiery passion they were developing for one another.
Please let me know what you think!