I own nothing, not even "Breathe Me" by Sia.
Alright, so this is another one-shot. Other chapters for my stories are coming soon, but I had this idea and it's consumed my thoughts for the past few days.
Remember when Nathan and Lucas were walking with Jamie and they were fighting over the flowers? Well, Nathan asks him what could possibly happen before his wedding. Well, here's my thought on something that could have happened.
Warnings . . . there's some LP loving and cursing.
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Peyton grumbles as she walks down the carpeted hallway. Why does she have such a small bladder? She stops and thinks that maybe it's not her bladder, but the three beers she chugged with Skills when Brooke wasn't looking. She laughs to herself as she remembers her and Skills standing in the confessional counting down and drinking as fast as they could.
She opens the third door and is less than thrilled to find that it isn't the bathroom either. She closes the door with a grunt and heads for the next one.
Lucas is standing in his dressing room. The door opens and he rolls his eyes. Nathan has been giving him warnings every ten minutes. At first he was grateful . . . now it annoys the hell out of him. He folds his collar over the tie and begins to let his younger brother know that he's almost ready, but his sentence is cut short when he notices that it isn't a Scott standing in the doorway.
It's the person he asked to be a Scott.
The first person he ever wanted to be a Scott.
It's Peyton Sawyer.
"Sorry, I was looking for the bathroom, but none of these doors had a sign on it."
She smiles shyly and he nods his head in understanding. A silence passes between the former lovers and she takes in his appearance. He looks devastatingly handsome and she can feel herself blush as she thinks of it. He's wearing a black tuxedo with a white undershirt. He unconsciously tugs at his tie and she smiles.
"Did it put up a good fight?"
He lets out a chuckle and shrugs sheepishly. He's never been able to master the task of a tie. When he was younger his mother would tie them and when he and Peyton started dating she gladly took over the job. When she left for LA she tied a few of them in advanced so that he was prepared for any event that may have come up.
Without thinking she walks over to him and places her small hands on the silky, cream colored material. Her eyes and thoughts are fixed solely on the task before her; it's been a while since she's done a man's tie and she hopes she hasn't lost her touch. She brushes against his chest in the process and Lucas closes his eyes.
She has one hand on the thicker part of the tie and the other is at the base of the knot. She doesn't want to let go and not in the physical sense. She doesn't want to let go. She knows that when she walks away from him it will be the last time they ever have a moment like this and she isn't sure she's strong enough for that. She can feel her eyes begin to burn and lets out a slow, shaky breath. This isn't the time.
His eyes flutter open and he doesn't even try to stop the smile that spreads across his lips. She's incredibly concentrated. Her tongue is sticking out the corner of her mouth and her eyes are slightly squinted. He knows he shouldn't, but he takes the moment to look her, to really look at her.
Her hair is curled and he's glad because they've always made Peyton stand out from a group of girls. Her lashes are thick and he can barely see her green eyes beneath them. He looks at her dress and raises a brow. It's not exactly black, but it's a few shades off of being the color. His brow lowers and a small smirk takes place of his mood; she's wearing a nearly black dress to his wedding. As Peyton smiles triumphantly and pats his chest, she looks up and meets his blue eyes. His breath catches in his throat and for a moment his heart stops beating.
To him, Peyton Sawyer is many things; gorgeous, talented, heroic, admirable, trustworthy, faithful, and loving are just a few of them. And as he stares into the eyes he used to willingly gaze into, he realizes that she's one more thing . . .
But she's here. She's put on a dress and applied her makeup. She's curled her hair and painted a smile on her face. She's come to this Church prepared to watch him get married. She truly has put her love and her heart aside for his sake.
And his admiration for her soars because he knows if the roles were reversed there is no way he could do this.
Peyton clears her throat and puts her hands on his shoulders. She congratulates him and waits for a response, but doesn't get one. She leans onto the tips of her feet and places a sweet, chaste kiss to the spot on his jaw that only she knows about. Lucas savors the feeling and places his hands on her hips. She isn't the only girl he's ever been with, but she's the only girl that knows about his weak spot. And in a way he relishes at the thought because it's like he'll always have a reminder of Peyton with him.
He snorts at that idea, because every time he closes his eyes he'll have a reminder of Peyton with him.
Her lips leave his skin and she lowers herself from her position. She goes to move, but his hands have a firm hold of her. She squirms gently and he finally takes the hint, but not before placing a kiss to her temple. He watches her walk away and inhales deeply through his nose. Vanilla and a hint of lavender fill his senses.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
I am small
Warm me up
And breathe me
"What if I don't wanna get married?"
His words shock them both. Just minutes ago he was telling Nathan how much he had missed Lindsey and just minutes from now he's going to marry her. Peyton takes a deep breath and shakes her head. She turns around to face him.
"You're just nervous."
She says the words with a flip of her hand. He needs to be nervous because if it isn't nerves than it's the truth and at this point, she isn't sure she can handle that. She walks back over to him with hesitant steps.
"No, that's the thing", he mumbles, "I'm not nervous at all. Shouldn't I be nervous?"
She takes a moment to think about his question. She's not sure if it's rhetorical or if he truly wants an answer, but she opens her mouth and tells him the hardest words she'll ever speak.
"I think you're not nervous because you know Lindsey's the one."
Her words anger him, but he isn't sure why. He should be pleased that she complemented his relationship in such a way. He's spent the past few weeks trying to get them to be friends; begging Peyton to accept her. So, why isn't he smiling?
"No, that's not right."
His words are firm and it makes Peyton raise a brow. She just gave him the best compliment could and he's shooting it down. Who the hell does he think he is? Her lips form a scowl and she opens her mouth, but he cuts her off.
"I was nervous the entire car ride home the first day I ever talked to you. I was nervous when we almost slept together at Dan's party in junior year. I was nervous when I told you it was you right after we won the State Championship. I was nervous as hell the first time we actually did sleep together. And I nearly wet my pants when I got down on one knee and asked you to marry me."
She closes her eyes to stop the tears that are begging to be set free for the third time since she walked into this room. That little trip down memory lane isn't something she needed today; it isn't something she needed now.
Before she can open her mouth to speak he talks again; he tells her that he spent a large part of his life knowing she was the one and so it made sense that he was nervous by simply being in her presence. He tells her that the fact that she called Lindsey his one even though he isn't nervous means one of two things.
That Lindsey isn't the one for him or that Peyton never was.
And he'd much rather believe in the first choice.
He feels a shiver run up his spine as a breathy version of his nickname escapes her perfect lips. In his gut he knows he shouldn't have said those things. He shouldn't be feeling these things. He's throwing caution to the wind and it might come back to haunt him. But none of that matters right now.
"I need you, Peyton", he whispers.
Her world stops turning and she can't quite breathe. Her eyes burn and she has to bite her bottom lip to stop the frantic quivering she feels. Somewhere, in the back of her mind she knows this isn't right. He's engaged . . . this is his wedding. There's a woman that's waiting to become his wife in what she is sure is only a few minutes. But none of that matters right now.
Because Lucas Scott needs her.
And she'll be damned if she doesn't need him just as much.
"You have me", she whispers back before running into his arms.
Within seconds her long legs are wrapped around his waist and he relishes at the feeling. Peyton's legs are like his kryptonite. Their foreheads are touching and their breath is mingling. Neither has been daring enough to take the first step and kiss the other and as Peyton searches Lucas's eyes for an answer he smiles like a teenage boy.
"I'm nervous", he says.
She smiles back and instantly leans her lips down to his. The kiss starts off slow and sweet, but quickly turns into something more. His tongue begs for entrance that she gladly allows and they both moan at the contact. Together their tongues dance in a passionate movement.
He pulls away and gasps for air. Peyton leans back in for his lips, but he dodges her gesture. She immediately panics and thinks that he's changed his mind – that he's come to his senses.
She's about to apologize profusely, but before she can his lips are on her pulse point.
He sucks on that spot and she moans out his name. He blindly backs her up against a wall and moves his lips across her exposed skin while his hand rubs back and forth along her bare thigh. It's been too long since she's been touched like this. It's been too long since she's been touched by him.
Her small fingers pull his shirt out from his slacks and begin to work on the buttons. She doesn't know if there's enough time to do this, but she doesn't care. She needs to touch him. She gets the first two buttons undone before her frustrations take over and she skims her hand under the dress shirt.
He lets out a moan at the feel of her hands against his hot flesh. Peyton traces the definition of his abs and trails up to his pecks before abruptly pulling out of his shirt and cupping his face. She places a kiss to his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, and the corner of his mouth before kissing his lips passionately. She leans forward and purposely grinds against his arousal. He groans outwardly, but inside he's smiling; she always was a tease.
Two can play that game, he thinks.
One of his hands caresses her chest through the material of her dress and the other skims up her leg. She bites her lip in anticipation as his hand travels further; to the inside of her thigh, brushes against her core and dances along the rim of her panties. Peyton lets out a groan and this time he smirks.
"No more foreplay", her thick voice begs. Lucas nods his head and presses her against the wall so that he can use both hands to remove her undergarments.
Her hands reach for his belt buckle and she throws it across the room. The button and his zipper are undone with the ease of an expert and his pants fall to the floor. She isn't sure why, but she hesitates at the rim of his boxers. He pulls back from her now reddened collar bone and stares into her eyes. Any doubts she has disappear. Her fingers hook into the elastic brim and she pushes down the dark material so that they rest atop his pants. Their actions stop and he places a soft, charming kiss to her lips.
And then he enters her.
If he was nervous to kiss her before, he's defiantly petrified now. He was worried that it wouldn't be the same. That this wouldn't feel the same, but he was wrong. It's a feeling of familiarity, a feeling of completeness. She sighs into his ear and his entire body relaxes.
He feels like he's home again.
They stay still for a moment with their eyes closed and their foreheads touching. They're both delighting in the feeling and needing a moment to adjust to it. Peyton's silently thanking Brooke for making her go back on the pill. At first it was a fight because the blonde was sure she wouldn't need such a full proof protection plan.
But Brooke had told her that anything could happen in Tree Hill.
Peyton rocks her hips and Lucas takes the hint. They begin a rhythm. Rocking back and forth against each other in a slow and almost tortuous movement. He whispers sweet words into her ear and she trails her fingers up his back, feeling the contours of his muscles. His pumps become faster and their breaths increase. She wraps her legs around him tighter, bringing him as deep as possible. She opens her mouth and he muffles her screams by covering it with his. His legs are shaking and he's fighting to keep them up as his orgasm rips through his body.
He buries his face into the crook of her neck and she shivers as his hot, deep breath tickles her skin. They're both panting heavily and Peyton reaches her hand up and brushes it through his slightly damp blonde hair.
"I love you", he whispers and she immediately tenses.
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Reality set's in and she wants to cry. He's wearing a tux, but his pants are down around his ankles. She's wearing a formal dress, but it's hiked up around her waist. This is his wedding day.
He can't love her.
He doesn't love her.
"No", she says forcefully.
His head shoots up and he stares into her eyes. The green orbs that were once filled with love and passion are now filled with hate and disgust. She pushes on his chest and wiggles her legs to be put down.
"You don't love me", she mumbles while searching for her panties. God, she's never felt more used.
He pulls his pants up and buttons them. "How can you say that?" he asks with a hurt voice.
She faces him with hard eyes and steps into her underwear. She holds up her left hand. "You see this . . . it's a ring-less finger! That's how I know you don't love me. That and the fact that she's wearing my ring right now!"
"That's not fair!"
His eyes widen as she nods her head in agreement. The feeling of shock wears off and sadness takes over when she tells him that it isn't fair that he left her three years ago. It isn't fair that he gave up on them; it isn't fair that he proposed to Lindsey after kissing her and the last thing she says breaks his heart;
"It's not fair that you can fuck me one last time and then spend the rest of your life with her!"
With Peyton he never considered it fucking. It was always lovemaking. Even just now, their movement may have been frenzied and needy, but he savored it. Every sigh and every moan. Every smile and every smirk. The fact that she thinks he wanted a quick lay kills him.
His pleading is cut off when the door suddenly opens and his brother walks in. The smile he's wearing slowly fades and he furrows his brows. Nathan glances from one blonde to the other and lets out a soft sigh.
"Hey, look who it is", the dark haired Scott says in hopes of breaking the tension he feels thickening the room. It may have been the wrong thing to day to his wife, but he hopes it's the exact thing they need right now.
Peyton lets out a soft chuckle despite herself. Lucas wants to push his brother out of the room and continue this conversation. Nathan walks further into the room and tells his brother that he has a few minutes before they need to take their places. Peyton's head drops to stare at the floor and Lucas nods impatiently.
Nathan walks towards Peyton, but trips over something in the process. He glances down and furrows his brows. It's his brother's belt. He looks between both blondes and suddenly knows why it was so awkward when he first walked in. The buttons of Lucas's shirt are undone and now his belt is lying on the floor. Peyton's curls are frizzed and her face is flushed.
"I'll see if I can get a few more minutes", he mumbles and places a brotherly kiss to the top of Peyton's head. She glances at him and shakes her head, but Lucas thanks him before she can say anything. The door closes with his brother on the other side and Lucas speaks.
"Don't tell me how I feel", he says.
Peyton opens her mouth, but closes it quickly. Fighting isn't going to solve anything and when she tells him this he shakes his head. He counters that it's not fighting, he's simply stating the facts and she won't accept them. She walks over to him and picks up his belt in the process.
"You're getting married", she whispers.
"I don't wan—"
"Lindsey loves you and you love her", her voice is soft and fragile.
He doesn't argue with her because she's right. Lindsey does love him and even though it makes his an ass he loves her. But loving Lindsey and loving Peyton are two different types of love. Even though she knew it wouldn't happen, she was hoping that he would tell her she was foolish. That he didn't care about Lindsey and they could run off into the sunset together.
"That's where we're at", she whispers.
Internally she sets up a list of rules for herself. He's going to get married and she's going to watch. He's going to live happy life with Lindsey and Peyton's going to live the happiest life she can without her true love at her side. He'll be smiling like a fool later, greeting everyone at his reception with his new bride on his arm and she'll get drunk and sleep with some random guy to forget the pain; just like she told Brooke and Skills.
She buttons the last two buttons on his shirt and moves her hands up to the knot of his tie. He doesn't want to get married. If it were up to him he'd march down that hallway and tell Lindsey he can't do this. He can't promise himself to another woman when he can't stop being in love with his ex.
But he will because he knows Peyton doesn't want to be that girl. She doesn't want to be the girl that ruined the perfect relationship between the writer and his editor. She doesn't want to play the role of the other woman again.
She straightens out his tie and bites her bottom lip. "I'll see you out there", she whispers and before he can ask for anything else she's out the door.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
I am small
Warm me up
And breathe me
In the hallway Peyton gathers as many breaths as possible. Her eyes are burning and for the first time she allows the tears to fall freely. A sob causes her entire body to shake and she nearly hits the floor, but strong pair of arms grabs her waist just as her knees give out.
"It's okay", he mutters into her ear. Peyton's crying slows and she nods against his shoulder. She pulls back and he wipes at the wet lines that are trailing down her cheeks. She takes a deep breath and tells him that she's okay. He nods and reluctantly lets her leave. The dark haired Scott watches her walk away and sighs. There's no denying that she's the strongest woman he knows.
Peyton climbs past the people sitting in the pew and apologies along the way. She looks up and meets Lucas's eye briefly before she has to look away.
His brother comes up behind him and hesitantly asks if he's ready. Lucas lets out a deep breath and nods his head. Nathan bites his lip and gives Lucas the most heart warming speech he can. He tells Lucas that he's a good guy and a good friend a most of all a great brother and that whatever life may throw at him Nathan will always have his back. Lucas knows his brother isn't dumb and he knows that Nathan is well aware of what happened in the dressing room earlier, but he's grateful that the dark haired Scott isn't going to lecture him. The music starts and Nathan voices that that's their cue, together they take to the altar.
"Jesus, Peyton that was the longest pee ever", Brooke's voice rasps as Peyton sits beside her. The blonde smiles absentmindedly and Brooke raises a brow. She takes in her friend's appearance. The curls that she spent an hour on are deflated and frizzy. Her face is flushed and she has a dark, red mark on her collar bone.
"Oh my God!" Brooke whispers. Peyton meets her eyes and silently begs Brooke to stop. She knows her friend has always been good at pointing out when Peyton's got some, but she really cannot deal with the lecture right now.
The music starts and the wedding begins. Haley walks down the aisle and Peyton glances at Nathan. His eyes are solely on her and she smiles. Even though they're having problems now, Peyton knows they'll make it though; they always do.
Lily's next, she's an adorable flower girl and as she passes the blonde the light colored petals fly into the air and she's instantly brought back to the State Championship all those years ago. The wedding march begins and they all stand. Brooke grabs on to Peyton's arm and she's never been happier to have her best friend at her side. Lindsey gives Haley her bouquet and than takes Lucas's hands in hers.
The minister starts his speech and begins the vows. Peyton gets lost in her own world. She's stopping the wedding and giving him a speech of her own that she isn't sure makes sense. It's about her car and her heart and she can hear Skills behind her rooting her on while Brooke huffs and shakes her head. She begs him not to do this. Not to leave her again because people always leave her. She blinks her eyes and is brought to the present time.
It's the moment of truth. Lucas pauses and desperately wants to glance over at Peyton, but he refrains because he knows if he looks at her he'll never go through with this. Instead, he takes a deep breath and looks into Lindsey's eyes.
"I do", he says with a forced smile.
The next few minutes are a blur for Peyton. He's said 'I do'. She knows she told him to get married, but this hurts so much that she wants to go back in time and take back everything she said. She feels Brooke's elbow hit her side and she's broken from her thoughts. The brunette nods to the altar and Peyton follows her motion.
The minister backs away and everyone furrows their brows. Lindsey's speaking and Lucas is trying to calm her down. She's shaking her head and tears are in her eyes. Lucas casts a sideways glance in Peyton's direction and looks back at Lindsey before he speaks. When he's done Lindsey shakes her head and hands over her wedding ring.
Watching her run down the aisle is like watching a scene out of 'Runaway Bride'. Her puffy dress is picked up to her ankles and she's literally fleeing the Church. Everyone's eyes are on her, but Peyton turns back and glances at Lucas.
He's sitting on the step watching his almost wife leave. Lindsey mumbled something about a comet and a boy and that Peyton drives a Comet. At first he was completely confuse, but than his brain started working and he realized that Lindsey was making a connection to his book that he honestly hadn't even realized. He guessed that he truly was blinded by denial.
He looks up and his eyes meet Peyton's and a shiver runs through her body, but it's not one out of pleasure. She's scared.
She's scared for him. She's scared for her. She's scared for them. She's scared because Lindsey's gone. She's scared because she doesn't know what any of it means anymore.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
I am small
Warm me up
And breathe me
And most of all, she's scared because all the rules have just been broken.
Nearly 4,500 words. I'm not sure how I feel about the sex stuff; I don't really think I write it well. Let me know what you think!