Not one second went by this week without Edward in my thoughts.
It was a slow week I guess.
Alice and Esme finally took me hunting again. This time for bigger game. I felt my power again. The shield, it came when I looked up and saw a bear charging towards me. I don't know how it happened.
All I remember was this huge force bubbling up from my feet to my arms and head and then out of nowhere, an invisible shield bombarded the bear at least a hundred feet back. It happened again whenever I felt threatened during feeding.
Maybe that's the only time it works. I still have to get the hang of it and figure it out.
I was bored. And tired.
Mentally, I suppose it is impossible for a vampire to be physically tired. Vampire. Vampire. I am a vampire.
I don't think I will ever get used to the name.
I fought the sadness I felt when I thought of Rene'. My poor mom, thinking I am dead. Maybe someday I can go back. Make a story up about a kidnapping, or I ran away. Something, anything, to see her face again.
I hadn't seen Edward in days and it was tearing me up inside.
The smallest sound I would turn in hope but bombarded with a severe disappointment that it wasn't Edward. I wanted to feel his hand in mine again, I wanted to study his emotions as they all flickered across his face at once. I wanted to erase his guilt and pain. I wanted to smell his sweet skin and taste his perfect lips.
I couldn't believe what had become of me. I mean, any sane person, no, being, would run from him. Hide. Anything but what I was feeling. It was like I was attached to him. Some invisible string strung between us pulling me in to him.
I watched my new family go about their days, routines I have not yet familiarized with yet. I spent most of the time sitting on the couch staring at the television. I never really watched it before, but I didn't know what else to do seeing that I couldn't leave the area.
I was absorbed in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed a figure sinking that down the cushion next to me.
"Hello," Edward said. I whipped my head to the side caught off guard. "I didn't see you there," laughed, embarrassed..
"I didn't mean to startle you…" he said with a smirk. I smiled and looked down towards the floor, thinking that if I had had a heart, he would hear it pounding furiously.
"How are you?" he asked looking me straight in the eyes.
I had to look down at the floor, feeling…nervous. "Very well, thank you. Yourself?"
"Great actually. I spent the week traveling up and down the Pacific Coast. I just felt drawn to the ocean. It was refreshing," he explained.
We sat silent for minutes, I turned back to the television, usually feeling perfectly comfortable in silence, I was suddenly feeling a bit insecure. I can't explain these emotions, even to myself. The cravings, the nerves, insecurities. He made me feel light and floaty. I refused to think of THAT word…I hardly knew him.
"Do you want to go for a walk?"
My thought process was thrown off and I looked at him. "huh?" I stupidly replied.
"Do you want to go for a walk?' he repeated.
We stood up and he held the door open for me to go first. We walked across his hard and he grabbed my hand. "Lets run." he looked excited and I couldn't help but to smile. I held my other arm out and said, "Show the way."
And we ran. We ran for minutes, or hours or it could have been days.
The only thing I was noticing was how wonderful it felt to hold his hand.
I would look up at his glorious face being careful not to stare.
But most of the time I kept my eyes on the ground being careful not to trip. It was becoming to good to be true to be as graceful as I was.
When we stopped my breath was heavy although I didn't really need it. Another habit I must learn to break.
I looked out at where we were and I stopped breathing all together. I didn't want to disturb anything. It was too beautiful.
I looked at the meadow filled with flowers and soft grass. I felt my hand being dropped and my face must have changed because Edward asked, "What's wrong?"
I looked up and brightened quickly.
"Oh, nothing. This is beautiful Edward. Where are we? How did you find this place?"
Edward walked out to the center of the meadow and walked in circles.
"I don't know. I was just wandering and I found it. I come here when I want to be alone or when the sun is out. It's a place where I can be truly free."
I watched him lay down on his back. For a few minutes we both didn't move. I was still at the edge of the meadow when he lifted his head up and looked at me.
"Come on Bella." And he patted the space next to him.
I walked on over and slowly brought myself to the ground.
I lay on back and watched the sky with him. I turned my head toward his and looked over his perfectly defined face.
How his shirt clung to his arms and chest and the perfect curve of his mouth. I wanted so badly to touch him.
His hand, his face. He turned his head and looked into my eyes.
"Hi," he whispered.
"Hi," I replied.
Edward looked back up at the sky and I turned my head fighting the non-existent butterflies all over my body.
Holy crow. That was intense.
It probably meant nothing to him though. He wasn't staring at a devastatingly beautiful face or falling in…love.
Before I could become completely disappointed though, I felt his hand curl over mine.
Our fingers intertwined.
And I swear I could see his lip curve into a smile, as I watched the dreary clouds above.
A/N Finally, right? Sorry it took so long. Sorry its so short. I really am sorry my chapters are short. I need to change that. I really hope you stick with me. Thank you for the support. All of it. Love you all. 3 r&r-- Al