Summary: Lily had a great life filled with love, friendship and happiness. Then, her 2 best friends turned their backs on her. Can James save her from them…and herself? Lily/James.
Chapter 7- Frightening Truth
(An: ***I realized that I made a mistake in the name of the chapter, it says "Chapter 5-Fix You", where in this chapter it says, "Chapter 7-Frightening Truth" I apologize.*** Thanks for all the lovely reviews. They always make me smile. I'm sorry for the long wait, but I'm trying to write this as true as I can. James is in this chapter, I hope you like it. This chapter is a bit more exciting.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Brittany or Ashley. I also do not own any of the new characters. ~~*~~
From Chapter 6
I wake up at 6:00am the next day only to see Ashley sitting on her bed glaring at me. I sit up slowly… "What's wrong?" I ask cautiously, "Are you okay?"
my best friends
I've done the best I can
make them realize
This is my life
"Funny you should ask me that," she snaps back, "Seeing as you called me an obsessed stalker."
"Wha..? Who told you that?" I ask puzzled and half asleep. "Brittany. She talked to you and you said that I obsess over James too much and that I'm a stalker." Ashley growls out. "To be honest Ashley, it's not healthy to find out where a boy lives…that is kind of stalkerish." I reply meekly.
hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
"I am not a STALKER!" She shrieks and then she turns to the door. "Wait Ashley! I'm sorry!" I call out earnestly.
"No way Lily! I'm done with you!" she screams, "You're too hurtful!"
Is a second chance
"But, I want to be friends again, please wa-" "GOODBYE!!" she yells as she slams the door.
Is a second chance
Ashley was gone, and with her she took my trust in her and Brittany, and fragments of me, of my soul, that I somehow knew I would never get back. Each fragment represented a part of me that was positive; my optimistic nature, my happy personality, and my capability of being able to love someone else. She took something else too. A part of me that is vital to have in a situation like this. What she took was the part of me that used to love myself. That fragment may have been small, too hard to see, but it was there and it made me feel important, if not, loved by other people. After she took that, all that was left of me was a broken shell too fragile to stand up on its own.
I went into my suit case and found my little piece of broken plate. This piece of plate brought back memories of where it came from.
~(Flashback)~ 14 years old
The shattered plate lies on the floor in tiny and large fragments. I bend down and start to pick up the pieces. I hear footsteps stomping into the kitchen, and then a voice, "Why can't you do anything right!?" my dad hollers, "Your always breaking and spilling things all over the house! Can't you grow up and try not to destroy my house!?"
Usually he is a bit calmer at times like these, but we had been fighting before and he wanted a reason to yell because he was mad. It was my fault.
Just like everything else.
"What are you? Perfect?" I ask him angrily. "Can't you calm down it's just a broken plate…"
"Yes, I am perfect. Maybe one day you will be too! But you need to grow up!" He replies furiously.
"When will you get it!? There's no such thing as perfect." I am so angry that I am shaking. "And like I said before, it's just a plate. Is a plate more important than your own kid!?" I run up the stairs and into my room before I slam the door and sit on my bed.
Tears are running down my face, racing towards gravity. "Ouch!"I feel a sharp pain in my hand and see a small amount of blood in my palm along with a big piece of the plate that I didn't throw away. I watch the blood lazily ooze from my hand and for some reason it calms me, despite the pain. I grab the piece of glass and slowly draw the sharp end down the back of my wrist making a jagged line on my arm. As the blood is oozing out, I repeat the action in the same spot over and over, until I feel content.
I feel alive.
This piece of plate represented a part of my soul that loathed me with all I was worth. It was used for mutilation when I felt that I needed to be punished. Walking into the bathroom, I gripped it in my hands gently, while cradling it to my chest. After the weapon penetrated my skin, I got into the shower and let the red mix with the clear. Pink swirled into the drain.
I washed my hair and got out, and then I changed into jeans and a blue t-shirt. Then I proceeded to clean all the traces of my crimson tears from the porcelain tiles, and I wiped off the inside off my arm again, which was still bleeding and put a bandage over the wound, covering it completely. I will let myself heal the muggle way because I deserve all the pain that I encounter. I will bear this scar and be reminded of the pain I caused and endured, until the day I die.
Now I needed to find Ashley, to get back the pieces of me that were stolen so abruptly. I put on my shoes and hurry outside to see if I can find her and beg for forgiveness. When I got outside the door, I hit something at full speed. Then, I fell backwards and landed on my rear. Hoping that I had just run into Ashley, I looked up and to my disappointment, saw James Potter instead. I stood up quickly and brushed myself off.
"Hey Lily, um I know you've been avoiding me lately, but I want to talk to you," He sounded shy for some reason, usually he wasn't so quiet. "I'm sorry, I've got to go," I made my way around him quickly only to have my arm trapped in an iron grasp. It hurt because he happened to grab the arm that I had cut open.
"I'm sorry, but it's important-wh-what happened to your arm?" He asked me, with a look of horror in his eyes.
I looked down to and noticed that my wounds had bled through the bandages and a trickle of crimson was sliding down to my fingertips. I don't know why he was so worried, it wasn't that much blood.
"I-I fell… I was just on my way to see Madam Pomfrey," I answer while stuttering a bit.
"Let me see," Potter almost shouts as he sounds too worried, "We need to stop the bleeding." Before I can protest, he pulls me closer and rips open my sleeve quickly. He then, pulls off the bandages as I squeak, "It's fine." Then he gasps as he sees all of my cuts on my arm. He stares at the series of cuts and a flash of anger comes over his face as he notices that the cuts are in all different directions and couldn't possibly be from falling.
"Let go!" I yell trying to pull away, but his hold is too tight. He lets go of my arm, just to grab my shoulders and bring his face level to mine.
"Did you do this to yourself?" He asks me in a serious and angry voice and when I hesitate, he repeats his question, but he's louder this time, with pure fury, "Damnit Lily! Did you do this to yourself!?"
With wide eyes, I say, "Don't yell, please don't yell, I'll be good, just don't yell." I'm trembling in fear. I get scared whenever men yell at me. It reminds me of the fights that I have with Dad. He softens his hold and a pained look crosses his features. I take my chance and push with all my might, which causes him to topple backwards onto the floor.
"Lily, I'm sorry! Please wait! I didn't mean to scare you…please!" He's a fair distance behind me as I'm outside and running into the forbidden forest, with tears trailing down my face and mixing with the rain.
I just keep running past the trees and over the stones. I can't feel the rain as much in the thick forest, but I'm soaking wet. I stumble over a large branch, but keep going, I'd rather face a forest creature instead of Potter. I'm terrified of him now.
"Please Lily! I'm sorry!" It scares me to hear his voice so close, it's probably because of his longer legs. Even though it's early in the morning, I can't see where I'm going very well because most of the trees block out the light coming from the sky. So I don't see the large stone in front of me and I trip over it, falling down hard, with only my hands to break the fall. I land hard on my hands and forearms, hitting one of them on a medium sized pebble. It happens to be the arm with the cuts. I hiss and more tears fall down my face.
Footsteps thunder and slow to a stop and I spin over onto my back to see Potter right in front of me. Even though I'm scared, I can't help but feel a sense of déjà vu because this is how he last caught up to me when I was running away. I use my legs to back up and I say, "S-s-stay away P-potter. Please leave m-me alone." I'm cold and I'm shivering so hard that I'm convulsing, or is it the fear?
He just ignores my pleading words and get's on his knees, only a few feet away from me. His face looks so sad. "Oh Lily, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to lose control like that. Please don't be scared." I keep inching back until he grabs my ankle and pulls me towards him. I dig my fingers into the dirt, trying to pull myself back, but he's too strong and soon I am in his arms.
He feels so warm compared to my cold self, but I push away, "D-d-don't, p-please let go," I don't even move a fraction of an inch away from him because he's holding me so tight. I start to warm up and push away with my whole body which causes me to fall back, but I turn around and try to stand, only to have him grab me from behind and cradle me to his chest. "I'm sorry." He keeps murmuring in my ear.
"Don't! L-let me go you-ah!" he stands up with me in his arms and I kick out, hitting him in the shins. My fear puts a lot of force into this kick and I get Potter to let go. I turn around to run again, but he tackles me to the ground, "Lily, stop! Damnit! That hurt!" He flips me around and straddles my waist, putting his hands on my biceps, to keep me down.
I freeze for a second, he yelled again, and now I'm powerless against him. "Please, please don't! Please!"
Potter looks regretful again and says, "I'm sorry," then his head snaps up to look somewhere ahead of us. I keep blubbering and pleading, "Don't plea-!" He cuts me off by putting a hand on my mouth and then he stands up and grabs me around the waist, running off in a different direction until we get to a hollowed tree trunk with a large hole in it, he pulls me in with him and sits at the far end. His hand is still on my mouth and I'm clawing at it trying to get it off, but his grip is relentless. He's leaning against the edge of the small space with me in between his legs and his arms around my shoulders holding me back.
"Shhh, I think the centaurs were out there and I don't have my wand," he whispered, "Be quiet or they'll find us." The centaurs didn't like having people in the forbidden forest, so I froze, aside from my powerful convulsions from being so cold. He was warmer than me, but I was still feeling frozen, my insides still hadn't thawed out.
He pulls me to him tighter and says words that scare me the other half way to death, "we might be stuck here for the day, and possible night."
Everything goes black.
I wake up to find myself still wrapped in Potters arms, but now we are lying down. His chin is atop my head and my head is at facing his chest. I'm still wet and shivering, but I'm not as cold as I was before. I try to gently pry myself out of his arms, but he stirs and wakes up. "Mmm...wha? Oh you're awake!" he whispers loudly. I only reply with a curt, "Let go." And he says, "If you promise not to run away." "Fine, I promise," I reply and he lets go, inching over to block the exit of this tiny cavern.
"What time is it?" I ask sleepily while rubbing my fatigue from my eyes. "It's 9:00pm, we slept basically all say," he replies after glancing at his watch, he continues, "We'll probably have to stay here the night, which is good, because I want some answers." I back away from him as far as I can, shivering still. "Calm down, I won't judge you if you tell me why you did it. I just want to help you," Potter pleads with me and I can feel the dam breaking as he uses that phrase again. I don't deserve any help after what I've done.
But I tell him everything about how Ashley and Brittany basically love him, how Brittany betrayed my trust, how I fight with my father a lot. He just sat there quietly taking it all in. As everything poured out of me, in the form of broken words, tears trickled down my cold, pale cheeks. When I was done, all he said was, "I'm sorry Lily, out of all the people in this world, you are the person who deserves that the least."
That just made me cry harder because I do deserve it.
I deserve it all.
After a few minutes in silence, aside from my sobbing, Potter looks up at me and says, "Are you cold?" I'm surprised he hasn't noticed my shivering until now because it was so bad before, but I reply, "I'm f-f-fine," through my tears, but the chattering of my teeth causes me to stutter, making my lie even more unconvincing. I only notice what he's wearing when he opens his cloak to revel jeans and a black long sleeved sweater.
He replies with, "Come here." And before I can answer, he grabs my uninjured arm and pulls me towards himself turning me around, so my back is against his chest. I stop crying out of surprise, as Potter pulls the cloak over both of us and wraps his arms around me. "I-I'm fine, it's ok-k-kay really." I protest futilely, not sure if I'm stuttering from the cold or shyness of the close proximity. I don't feel afraid because after confiding in him with all my problems, I can't be afraid of him. I pull myself away a little, as he just keeps holding me saying, "Your freezing Lily, just let me hold you"
I swear, if I was warm enough to blush, I would be now. I feel my shy part of me creeping into my voice as I mutter, "Fine," and start to fall asleep again, exhausted from crying so much. I was able to sleep easy because now it feels like I've taken a 100 pound weight of f of my shoulders, so I drift off.
I do not resurface until the next morning.
I tried to make this chapter longer and add more Lily/James moments because it's been a while since I've updated. It was incredibly awkward for me to write, but I hope you liked it. :)
Please review; you guys don't know how much it means to me.