DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HOUSE!
A/N: I am really, really, unbelievably sorry about taking so long to update. Between relatives coming to visit, power failures, work, and some family issues, I haven't had a lot of time to write, which makes me really sad. But, since that is a bad excuse, you have every right to yell at me! Sorry!!
To say that she was bored would be the understatement of the year. She was tired of sitting at home doing nothing while House was at the hospital. She hated being useless. It seemed every five minutes she glanced at her watch, like she was hoping subconsciously that the time would fly by and she would have an excuse to leave. After all, she did have a physio appointment at 3. It was 11. Unfortunately, she still couldn't justify leaving this early. But, maybe House had a case. Cuddy paged him, right?
She needed to work on the case. And, maybe, she could catch House for lunch beforehand.
House was on pace to set a new record of patient's seen in one day at the PPTH Clinic. It was only a bit past noon, and he had already cleared the waiting room...twice.
'Next idiot, Exam Room 1,' he called to the people sitting in chairs waiting. He glanced down at the file in his hand. 'Michael Combs, come with me,' he said, entering the exam room.
Michael paced around the room, never sitting.
'Did you know that, sometimes, an exam can be better performed when the patient is, at the very least, staying in the same place?' House said bitterly.
Michael glanced at him in shock for a moment, but soon recovered. 'I-I told the nurse that, um, I had some knee pain, but actually, well...' Michael stopped and blushed.
'Actually, well...?' House mocked...
'Guess where this came from?' House chanted, barging into Cuddy's office.
'House!' She reprimanded. 'I'm a little busy. I'm terribly sorry,' she said to the two disturbed potential benefactors sitting in the office with her.
'It came out of some idiot's rectum,' he declared loudly, holding up a very large permanent maker.
'House!' Cuddy said again, clearly becoming flustered and angry. 'I'm sorry. Would you excuse me for a moment?' she said again to the benefactors. She pulled House outside of the office. 'What is up with you, House. I'm not complaining that you are doing clinic hours, but the number of patient complaints I've gotten from you alone is...I can't even put it into words. Is there something wrong with you and Cameron?' she asked, showing clear frustration.
'Why would your mind jump to that so quickly? You seem a bit irritable today. Is there something wrong between you and that weird dude from that internet site? I forget the name. I think it had something to do with funbags, maybe?'
'House, what is going on?'
'Nothing. This conversation seems to be mimicking one we had just a bit earlier.'
'House, either go home, or stop terrorising the patients and nurses. If you go home, I'll give you next week off clinic duty.'
'No, you won't. Besides, this is actually getting interesting,' he said, again showing her the marker. Cuddy rolled her eyes and went back to her meeting. House went to the roof.
Cameron arrived at the hospital and was looking for House. She made her way to the 4th floor where his office was located.
'Cameron!' Chase exclaimed, surprised to see her. 'What are you doing here? I thought you had today off?'
'Oh, I have a physio appointment later, and figured I'd come by and help out. Where are House and Foreman?'
'Foreman got a request for a consult with Neurology. And, I don't know where House is. He was supposed to have the day off with you,' he said.
'Wait, don't we have a case?'
'No. I've been in the NICU all day. I just came up for some lunch. Why would you think we had a case?'
'Oh...I just thought...House left this morning because Cuddy paged him. I thought it was for a case,' she said.
'Nope. No case. Sorry, Cameron.'
'Okay. Well, I guess I'll see you later,' she said quietly. 'Why did he leave this morning if there was no case? Cuddy knew he had the day off, and she wouldn't have called him in if it wasn't important. He didn't fake it, did he? No. Why would he?' she thought as she left the conference room. She felt...nervous. She shouldn't feel nervous about his leaving, she told herself. And she told herself that again. And again. But, she had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, one that wouldn't go away simply by telling herself she was overreacting.
So, she went to Cuddy's office. Maybe he was there?
She climbed into the elevator and headed to the lobby level. She watched the numbers go by 4...3...2...They didn't seem to go fast enough. L. Finally.
'Cameron?' someone asked from around the corner when she entered the hallway. 'What are you doing here?' She turned around to see Wilson standing behind her.
'I have a physio appointment today. Kind of pointless, seeing as though I can walk now, but it was the doctor's orders,' she stated a bit sarcastically. 'Besides, it was boring sitting at home doing absolutely nothing. Do you know where House is?'
'Uh, I think he was in heading to the clinic,' Wilson replied, rubbing his neck.
'The clinic?' Cameron asked, in shock. House would never willingly go the clinic.
'Yeah,' Wilson said. Cameron sensed that he seemed almost...anxious about something.
'Wilson, what is wrong?' Wilson saw the expression on Cameron's face. She was serious about getting an answer. She was clenching and she wore what was verging on a pained expression on her face. 'Please, tell me,' she said. It sounded like a plea.
'Can I talk to you for a minute in my office?' Cameron simply nodded in response. She knew he knew something. Something she didn't. That scared her even more. The only reason he would be acting so nervous was if it was something about House. Something House had done. Something House had told him. Something House had told him...about her?'
The pair made their way to Wilson's office, Cameron going exactly to the place she had just come from.
'What is going on?' she asked again, getting more desperate to know by the second. Wilson hadn't said a word to her.
'Is everything...okay with you?' he asked. 'I mean, are you and House okay?' he finally said.
'I...I thought so,' she whispered.
'Did you get into a fight?'
'No. Did Greg say something to you, about us?'
'He...he said he...he's scared. He didn't actually say it, but he is. Are...are you planning to end things with him?' Wilson asked gingerly, tripping over some of the words.
'What! No! Why would he think that?' Cameron nearly shouted. She felt her eyes begin to burn the way they always did before she cried. She fought hard to hold back any tears. 'Why would he think that?' she repeated softly, more to herself than Wilson.
'No! Of course not! We...at least I thought we were...happy. I was!' The burning sensation was building as she felt more tears threatening to fall. She felt like she was watching someone crash a car in slow motion: she knew something awful would happen, yet she was powerless to stop it.
Wilson didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to tell her to do. House, although he was brilliant, was clueless when it came to dealing with things like this. And very insecure. All he knew was that somehow House had gotten an idea into his mind, and unfortunately, he would not let it go. He was too stubborn. Wilson didn't know how to tell Cameron to get out of this; to stop House from making potentially the hugest mistake of his life.
'Cameron, you should talk to him. Please.' It was Wilson's turn to plead. He had seen how much happier House had been since being with Cameron. He had seen the positive change, as had everyone else. House hadn't harassed nearly as many nurses/orderlies/patients (however, he seemed to be making up for that today). House had been less miserable...almost pleasant to be around. He was even taking less Vicodin. Everyone noticed that: the team, the nurses, Cuddy, and himself (though, again, House had popped in excess of four pills in the time it took them to eat lunch earlier). He, and the hospital, weren't ready for the old House to come back.
'And say what? I don't even know what to say to him. I thought...everything seemed okay. Until this morning. Then-' Cameron couldn't finish the sentence. She mentally ran through the past few days in her mind trying to find signs that she had missed. Nothing. House was being House at some times, but at most times he was helping her, being sincere.
'Just talk. He needs reassurance. After what happened in his last relationship, he'll get scared easily about losing another one. The way he sees it is, if he backs out now, he won't get hurt. But, he will get hurt. Cameron,' Wilson said more sharply, grabbing her attention fully, 'he loves you. In truth, I've never seen him as happy. Just...just talk to him, please.' She tried to give a half smile, but failed. How could she smile?
'I-I have to go,' Cameron said. 'I have an appointment. Thank you,' she whispered before slipping out of the office. She had an appointment with the chapel.
Wilson practically ran to the clinic. It was now well past four, and he had just seen Cameron leaving the building in tears. He had to find House.
'Where is he?' he asked Cuddy. She was looking through some files at the main reception desk in the clinic.
'I assume you are talking about House, and I haven't seen him since I told him to either stop pissing everyone off or leave. I am assuming he did the latter. What do you need?' She wasn't sure if he had heard the question because he was already halfway out the door.
It was quiet and peaceful here. The only people in the vicinity were the ones desperate for hope and praying for a miracle. She didn't believe in this God they all beseeched for help, but she liked the chapel all the same. She could think. She came here when she needed to think.
And all she could do was find blame for herself. Again, she mentally ran through the days, weeks, even months prior to today. What should she have done differently? What should she have looked for? She made a list of all the ways she must have gone wrong.
I was too distant.
I was too emotional.
I didn't see something was wrong sooner.
I ran away...several states away. Good way to show trust.
I had too much baggage, and too many bad things happening. No one would want to deal with that all the time.
I didn't show him enough how much he meant to me.
I didn't show enough trust in him.
I acted like Stacy.
The list replayed and replayed in her mind for hours. She cried alone in the chapel. It wasn't awkward; many people who came here were crying. That was anther good thing about the chapel. But, every time she replayed the list, and with every tear that slid down her face and onto the wooden pews, she felt like more of a failure. She failed the one time it counted. She wanted him for years. She needed him now. And she failed to keep him.
She glanced at her watch. 4:37. She missed her appointment. Who cares? She could walk. And she did, out of the hospital and back to the apartment. Could she still call it home?
He tried to figure out the last time he was here. There was the time when he told Stacy she would be better off without him. It was true, but it hurt all the same. Had he been here when he learned Cameron had been stabbed and abused? He couldn't remember at the moment, but that hurt almost as much, if not more, than leaving Stacy. So, he must have been here. Now, he was on the roof again.
'I can't do it,' was the mantra he had developed since being here watching the cars and city below. It was not an optimistic one, but he figured it would keep him from getting hurt. Sure. He had already been hurt deeply.
'Have you been an idiot yet?' a somewhat angry voice asked from the doorway. It could only belong to Wilson.
'Would you care to narrow that down a bit?' House retorted.
'Okay...Have you dumped Cameron yet? I saw her leaving the hospital in tears. I figured you were the one who caused them. Which is really stupid considering you are an idiot and she was never going to leave you in the first place!'
'Wow. It's amazing you know that. Do you two have some sort of telepathic connection going on? Maybe is has something to do with your caring demeanours,' he spat back sardonically.
'Well, after you and I had a wonderful chat at lunch, I ran into Cameron in the lobby, which I thought was weird considering she was supposed to have today off.'
'She had a physio appointment. And, you are not a physiotherapist. So, did you invite her to your office where you painted each others' fingernails and talked about your innermost thoughts and deepest, darkest secrets. Because, if you got any really juicy dirt on her, do tell!'
'House! This is serious!'
'You think I don't fucking know that!' he yelled.
'I asked her if there was any reason why you would think that she was going to leave you, and she seemed more shocked than I was. So, it brings me back to my original question: Have you been an idiot yet?'
'If I write a cheque for a very, very large sum of money, would you leave? Please. Maybe if I actually pay you back the 5,000 dollars you lent me. I wasn't planning on paying it, but if it will get you out of here,'
'House, I am not leaving! What did you do!' Wilson was getting angrier and more frustrated by the minute.
'Nothing! I've been sitting on this damned roof for three hours now! I haven't seen her. I haven't seen anyone, nor have I wanted to! And why should I believe you! You didn't hear what I heard!' House stopped immediately after realising he had given away a bit more information than he wanted to.
'Wait, what did you hear? What are you talking about.'
'Forget it,' he groaned, trying to walk past Wilson an get through the door. Wilson blocked him.
'What did you hear?' he asked again, more demanding this time.
House rolled his eyes and tried to leave again. Wilson wouldn't let him.
'House, seriously. What did she say?'
'I heard her telling her sister that she wasn't going to do it, which I'm assuming that meant our relationship, anymore because I keep ending up getting hurt because every time I've tried to do something nice and loving he keeps pushing me away and I can't take it anymore,' he admitted doing the best imitation he could of Cameron.
'And you're absolutely 100 percent positive that you didn't misunderstand her in any way, shape, or form. And, you're sure she was even talking about you.'
'How exactly do you misunderstand 'I can't do this anymore, and no I don't want to, but I have to push back?'' Wilson didn't have a response. 'And who the hell else would she be talking about?'
'House-' Wilson started.
'Goodbye, Jimmy. See you later,' House groaned using his cane to push past Wilson and get back inside the hospital. He may as well go home.
A/N: Please, please review!! Sorry again!!