A/N: Here's my new story! -cheers- . I'm most likely gonna do two or three recipients per chapter. I hope you enjoy it.


Disclaimer:Yes! Naruto is mine! My name is Jaylee Kishimoto and I own everything! -hides from lawyers-


One day soon perhaps, a fatal kunai will hit me in the artery or something. I'm not Superman Sasuke you know. (but hell…I'm pretty damn close!) The prospect of me dying is actually very realistic.

So before I leave, here's what I have to say…

And even if I don't die…here's what I have to say anyways.


Dear Fangirls.

I hope you all rot in hell. Actually, no, you will rot in hell. For stealing my shirts. For stealing my boxers. For selling them on ebay. For those weird ass tribal rituals you have in my name. For all the children you sacrificed at said rituals. For crashing my wedding. For writing horrible fanfiction about me. For writing good fanfiction about me. For pairing me up with the dobe. For serenading me while I train. For trying to kidnap me. For making those stupid plushies. For cosplaying me like an idiot. For videotaping me in the shower. For placing said video on youtube.

I don't give a shit how many views it has!

I'm an asshole to all of you! Why the hell do you like me?! Please, please stop liking me. Please.

Just to let you know, I threw out all of the obento boxes you nutcases gave me…

Except for the girl who kept making the fried rice with tomatoes. You can actually cook.

Yeah yeah, feel special hoe.

And those lovely Valentine's day cards you give me everyday of the year?

Just know they make good firewood.

What I leave behind for you: A bomb. Go die.



(Hehe, I made this up myself! Being a prodigy does have it's perks…)

Dear Orochimaru.

Go perish in hell with my fangirls. You are a sick, sick, sick man. I wasted 3 years of my life with you. And your experiments. And your goddamn snakes. And braiding your hair!

After I kill Itachi, your ass is next.

You tried to rape me. Multiple times! I know you want my body, but still!

I didn't know you meant…like that.

You tricked me you son-of-a-bitch!

"Let's evaluate our snakes, eh Sasuke-kun?"


You wouldn't happen to be a Catholic priest, would you?

Why don't you have fun with your Harry Potter skank Kabuto, and evaluate your 'wands' together.

What I leave behind for you: A bomb. Hopefully the same bomb that kills my fangirls.



Dear Manda

Aww, hey Manda-Panda. If I end up dying, just know that Sasuke wuvs you.

And stay the hell away from Orochimaru.

There are some snake-snacks in the basement.

ask Sakura to get them for you…

What I leave behind for you: a life time supply of Scooby Snake Packs. Go crazy.

-Love Sasuke.


Short and sweet, ne? Each chapter will be like this. XD Anyways, check out my newly updated story 'The Marriage Counselor' if you have a min. to spare! XD. It'd mean a lot to me! Have anyone you want to see in particular? Say it in a review or PM! I might even do characters from other animes!

…minxtrain…I'll be emailing you soon!

Love always, JayleeJ