I didn't want this… I could never want this
I didn't want this… I could never want this!
I screwed my eyes shut to my father standing over me, his sneer creasing his features and making the lines on the side of his eyes stand out. The knife in his hand moving down my bare leg.
"I asked you never to speak again… I told you that… Why didn't you listen…?" He demanded from me like I was actually going to answer such a ridiculous question. How couldn't I not talk? I did go to school everyday, and I did try to make friends! It wasn't my fault that everyone hated me!
"Do you want to bleed?" Another question I refused to answer. "Well… You have no choice!" With that, the knife entered my flesh and I screamed out, my eyes shutting tight as I refused to move, not wanting to invoke anymore of this pain.
"Why are you screaming…? You cut your wrists all the time… How is this any different?" His hand whipped across my face, silencing my voice.
"Don't go to school tomorrow. I want you to think about what you have done to me by not listening to what I said to you." With that, he left me in my room to bleed on top of my red silk sheets.
What more could go wrong with a crazy father who liked to put out all of his frustration on me and with everyone in the school thinking I was crazy…?
My head snaps up as I look up into Kakashi-sensei's eyes.
"Yes….?" I'm not in the mood right now. I want to rest, but it doesn't look like I'll be getting that wish…
"Would you like to share with the class why you can't stay awake?" He asked, shutting the book in his hand with a loud snap. Which was bad for me, because he never closed his book unless you where in a lot of trouble.
"I had a restless night." I say simply, not wanting to go into detail with the fact that my father caught me working with my paints and beat the shit out of me. I wasn't sure how someone couldn't notice the bruises all over my arms… But, hey, who am I to question the working of society?
"Fine… Why don't we send you to the guidance counselor then… that might help loosen up your tongue, hm?" Perfect… Just what I needed… Kakashi-asshole to send me to the one place that made me want to kill the whole world.
"No thank-you, Kakashi-sensei. I think I'm okay now…" I nod to him, keeping my face blank of all emotions and he sighs and opens his book up again, turning back to his desk and continuing on with the lecture while reading. I'm not sure how he does that, but he does a good job with it.
I move in my chair, so that I'm leaning back and my arms are folded. I actually pay attention for the rest of the class. I didn't even notice the set of eyes that are watching me from the other side of the room.
Once the bell let us out for next period, I was out the door. I needed to get outside and to the fresh air as soon as possible.
The air hit me like a brick once I left the building. It whirled around me and sucked me forward, almost like it had a mind of its own and wanted me to join it in its play.
I smiled and began to walk around campus. Even though this was only a high school, we had seven buildings and looked like a college. It is one of the best schools in the nation and I loved it.
I loved the campus, not the people that occupied that campus with me. I dislike those people.
I walked fast, not wanting to be late, because we all only had 7 minutes to get to the next class. I also walked fast to feel the wind more. The faster I walked; the waster the wind was that blew around me.
I was minding my own business when I noticed some kid deviate from his side of the path onto mine. My eyes looked at him as his gaze moved up and down my form.
This was a little strange, and I felt myself slowing down as we get closer together. He was only 3 feet away when his words reached my ears.