At the beginning I want to tell you that this is my first real M-rated story where I go into detail. So I really hope that you like it.
Also I want you to know that English is not my mother tongue, and if I make too many mistakes, please tell me.

by cherry-kiss-red © 2008
Disclaimer: The following characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just own the idea for the actions in this story.

Even though August was coming closer with every second that passed by, my room was filled with a chilly breeze coming from the outside. A little part of my mind told me that it was stupid to leave the window open as Charlie wasn't asleep yet, but I couldn't help it. Every time I decided to close it at least for a couple of minutes, an image of Edward waiting outside came to my mind. It was a horrible thought, at least for me. He wouldn't be mad about something like this – I know that -, but the fact that I had turned into the most selfish person in the world reminded me of how much I needed my angel. I couldn't spend a day without him and a night alone was even worse. The need for his cold, marble-like arms to be wrapped around my body grew with every second that I had to spend without him.
I sighed as I changed my position on the bed, my face now buried in the pillow, which still carried Edward's overwhelming scent. That was one of the things I got obsessed with. Every time I had to wait for him to visit me, I lay on my bed taking a smell at my pillow. It may seem weird, but sometimes it helped to let the time pass by faster.

It was frustrating. Since the day I arrived in Forks I started to learn to wait.
I waited for the others to understand my antipathy towards the wet and green landscape of this little town.
I waited for Charlie to realize that I am not his ten-year-old daughter anymore.

And I waited for the deadly danger I was confronted with from time to time to pass.
But I would never learn to wait patiently for Edward and it was definitely driving me insane.

Suddenly I realized that the light breeze, which had annoyed me the last thirty minutes, was missing. I couldn't believe that the weather was changing that fast – especially not in Forks – so I turned around again, just to see that my window was closed. It didn't amaze me that my heart started to pound furiously again as it was my natural reaction to Edward being close to me.
Carefully I moved on my bed, pushing myself up so I could look around better. He was nowhere in sight, but actually this didn't mean a lot. I knew he was just teasing me, knowing that it would make my heart pound even faster, as fast as possible. Just when I was about to give up and sigh, I felt cold lips pressing against my neck. My blood immediately rushed to my cheeks, making me blush. I hated the effect Edward had on me, but it never changed. Sometimes it even felt like it was getting worse, especially when he was getting closer to me than he ever did before.
His lips slowly moved upwards to my ear, as his breath was cooling my hot, blushing skin. I turned around, so he had to draw back a bit, before I was brushing my lips over his. There was nothing I loved more than kissing Edward… It was like the world around me disappeared, when I felt his cold but soft lips against mine, his hands in my hair pressing me closer to him – I was addicted to this feeling.

One of his hands suddenly moved down to my back, caressing me through the shirt I was wearing. It felt like my heart was skipping a beat, just to pound even faster afterwards. His touch made my skin burn, in an intoxicating way. And then I felt the same hand moving further down, eventually slipping underneath the cotton of my shirt. It was the first time that Edward did something like that - touching me this way. Until now he had always made sure that there was a piece of clothing between his hand and my skin, but I didn't want to complain. It felt so good. His skin was cold, leaving traces of a smooth cooling wherever he touched me.

"Edward." I moaned against his lips, moving my hands up in his hair to pull him closer to me. A part of my mind started to scream that I should stop this, that I shouldn't cross his boundaries, but the part of me (definitely my body) that was enjoying this so much, didn't listen. I carefully opened my mouth, letting my tongue trace over the soft skin of his lips, begging for entrance.
Normally this was the point where he drew back to look at me taunting and to say something like 'This doesn't work, Bella'. But to my amazement he didn't do anything which was comparable to that. Edward slightly opened his mouth and touched my tongue with his. The butterflies in my stomach started to press against the inner walls of my body, begging for me to explode, begging for release.

He was the only one who could make me forget everything else. There we sat on my bed, kissing and touching, and I couldn't form one coherent thought. Every cell of my brain was thinking "Edward"… he was everything that had a meaning right now, everything that was important. Maybe I was too lost in my nonexistent thoughts, because when we broke apart to breathe, I was lying down again with Edward leaning over me.

"Bella… Love, I think we have to stop here." He said looking at me. Even in the darkness I could see that his usually topaz-colored eyes had turned dark.
"Edward, don't do this again." I answered sighing, as I tried to pull him down to me. Of course this didn't work – I was not nearly as strong as Edward, considering his amazing vampire-power, so it was all up to him… and he didn't want to.
"Don't do what again, Bella?" His voice was still soft, but carried a confused undertone with it.
"You should stop teasing me… I can't stand this, I hate it. You can't come so close and then take dozens of steps back. This is driving me crazy."

I couldn't really believe that I said that loud, but once the words had left my mouth, I couldn't recall them. Of course this was his fault. If he hadn't made me feel so dizzy, I would have never said anything like that, but now it was too late.

"I never wanted to tease you." Edward replied sad. "I was just kind of losing control."
"I like it, when you lose control." I blurted out, immediately regretting what I said. It was wrong, definitely wrong, but just as before I couldn't stop the words coming out. I knew that it would be horrible, if he really lost control.
"Sorry." I started before he could say anything. "That came out wrong, I think. What I wanted to say… I… it would be great if you gave up some of this control, if you loosened your boundaries a bit."

When he didn't answer, I already thought that he would become mad any second. He was so worried about my safety when I was near him and me saying something like that, made it even a bit harder.
"What do you want me to do?" He eventually asked, causing my heart to beat hard against my chest.

"I want you to touch me…" I merely whispered, knowing that he even would have heard this if he was sitting at the other end of my room.
"I am touching you right now." He answered seriously, though I could see a small smile forming on his lips. "Or where do you want me to touch you?"

He lay down next to me, turning around his body, so he was still looking at me. His left arm was caressing my waist carefully and made me tremble slightly. Where do you want me to touch you? In moments like these, when my voice was definitely betraying me, I wished he could read my thoughts. Not a single word left my lips and I was just blushing more and more. Where do you want me to touch you? In my head his words repeated themselves again and again, leaving only one option for me.
I lay my shaking hand on his cold one and moved it slowly over my body. Edward was hesitating, I felt it, but he didn't make me stop. Once our hands were resting above the waistband of my sweatpants, I felt the urge to run away. But it was too late for any regrets and my intention was already clear. I moved our hands carefully between my legs and pressed his cold hand against my clit - my sweatpants the only thing which separated his cold hand from my pulsing flesh.
I breathed in heavily as I felt him slowly moving his hand on his own. Actually I had expected him to kiss my forehead and whispering words of love, before telling me to sleep, but when I felt his hand stroking me softly, I was on fire – I was lost. Never before I had felt something that good, it was even better than just kissing Edward.

"Edward." I sighed, my body writhing. His lips found mine in a passionate kiss with our tongues caressing each other. I brought my right hand up to his cheek, trying to feel more of him. And then I felt his hand slipping under the waistband of my sweatpants and beneath my panties. On one hand his cold skin was salvation for my pulsing flesh, but on the other hand his touch made me burn. His thumb was massaging my clit softly, while his other fingers were touching my entrance casually. Frustrated I moved my hips upwards, pressing myself closer to his hand and moaning his name quietly. It seemed like he understood my desire, as he slowly pushed one cold finger into me.
I hissed and began to move my hips faster, showing him that he was not hurting me. Edward's finger was getting faster and stronger with every new thrust, until he added a second one. His lips moved down my neck, leaving traces of sweet kisses on my skin, though it was hard to concentrate on these, as his hand was still pleasuring me in a more effective way.

As he continued I could feel my climax coming closer with every stroke he made. My whole body was tingling and I moved my hips against his hand again, when I moaned out loud.

Slowly I came down from my high and rested my head on his shoulder. He was chuckling smoothly as I closed my eyes tiredly.
"I suspect that you liked that."
His voice was slightly teasing, but full of love though. I couldn't answer - my vocal chords unable to work properly, so I just nodded.
"I love you, Bella…"
"I love you more." As suspected my voice was shaking, giving away how much this was still affecting me.
"You know that this is not possible, Love."

He pressed one last kiss onto my forehead, before I finally fell asleep.