Title: Never Argue with the Queen
By: Lady FoxFire
Pairing: none that are not cannon
Warning: Muse's sense of humor strikes again
Summary: The Autobots learns a very important lesson about Earth women and why it's best not to disagree with them. This is story #3 'If Things Had Been Different' series
Disclaimer: If I made any profit off of this fic I would take a long vacation but I don't and I can't. All the profits from Transformers goes to someone who isn't me.
Bad Author Notes: This fic would have been out long ago but I caught the flue and lost about a week there and then I had to rewrite chapter 2. And of course story #5 is almost done but I haven't started story #4. I'm seriously thinking of having a mental break down and take a day off from work and kid.
Chapter 2 - Meeting the Queen
Dusk was falling as black GMC Topkick truck and yellow Camaro turned on to the private road that lead to the Lennox family home.
A tall blond woman with a child balanced on her hip stepped out of the house as the vehicles came to a stop.
The driver side door of the Topkick opened and Captain Lennox stepped out. His face broke out into a huge smile at the sight of his wife and daughter. "Your knights have returned, my Queen," he crowed, "and we bring guests."
Sarah Lennox chuckled at her husband's antics. "I see," she replied her eyes sparkling with amusement. "So you were able to convince the good King Optimus to grant us the use of these two brave knights." Sarah nodded at Bumblebee and Sam.
"Alas it was his fear of you my Warrior Queen and the battle cry of the little Princess that allowed me to sway him into granting your demand," Lennox said as he bowed to his wife.
Sam was standing half in Bumblebee and half out as he watched Will and his wife continue on; his eyes were filled with confusion and a little bit of fear.
"Bee," Sam said softly.
"I think the Allspark did something to my brain," Sam said his voice carrying a trace of fear. "Captain Lennox is sounding like something out of a bad Xena does Robin Hood movie."
"Sorry to disappoint you Sam but they're always like this," Ironhide said with a sigh as he rocked back on his tires. " You'll get used to them after a time."
"We're not always like this," Will said after hearing what Ironhide just said.
"No. No you're not," Ironhide agreed. "Sometime you're worse."
"You're just jealous," Sarah said with a teasing hint to her voice, "because we're in a romantic comedy and you're stuck in a soap opera."
"Soap opera?" Lennox said as he turned to his wife in confusion, only to have his daughter handed to him.
"Of course," Sarah said proudly. "You have family fighting family. Missing bad guys who reappear suddenly and threaten everyone. Beloved characters returning from the dead. Evil twins from what Ironhide has told me about the Twins. About the only thing you don't have is bed hopping or do you?"
Ironhide let out a sigh. "I hate that woman," he grumbled to himself.
"I don't know," Will said, scratching his head, "that sounds more like a Shakespearean drama than a soap opera. More like Hamlet."
"So does that make us Romeo and Juliet?" Sarah asked as she batted her eyes at her husband
Lennox snorted in disgust. "No. We're much too smart to those idiots! I think we're more Robin Hood and Maid Marian with Ironhide as Little John."
"In tights?" Sarah teased.
"Tight tights," Bumblebee chimed in with a clip of the sound from the movie.
"Oh, he's going to fit right in with our band of Merry Men," Sarah giggled as she walked over to Bumblebee and Sam. "But who shall you be? You can't be Will Scarlet since you're yellow. Friar Tuck, perhaps?"
"I'm Allan-a-Dale, a minstrel," a sound clip from Disney's animated movie Robin Hood came from Bumblebee's speakers.
Sarah let out a laugh that seemed to be full of life. "And who should you be, Sam?" she asked as she turned her attention to young man.
"I don't know," Sam replied with a shrug as unconsciously pulled on the long sleeves of his shirt as if to hide the metal swirls that now covered his body.
Sarah stared thoughtful at Sam. "You're not Friar Tuck. Perhaps Will Scarlet," she said to herself.
It was as Sarah was mumbling the list of Robin Hood characters that little Annabelle sneezed all over her father.
"Bless you honey," Sarah said as she looked over her shoulder at her daughter and husband who was wiping snort from his cheek, "and you're absolutely correct he'll make a perfect Ahchoo."
"Ahchoo?" Sam said in disbelief.
"Bless you," Sarah replied. "He's the son of Asneeze, who was in prison with Robin. Ahchoo is an exchange student in England."
"Right," Sam said slowly as he nodded his head while back away from Sarah.
"Now that all that's been decided, how about you human unpack us," Ironhide grumbled. "I would like to stand up and stretch my legs."
"Grumpy Gus isn't he," Sarah said as she shot the Topkick a look.
"It won't take us long to unload them," Will said as he handed his daughter off to her mother. "There isn't much, mostly camping equipment stuff."
"Well we're just going to have to change that," Sarah stated as she bounced Annabelle in her arms. "Well while you do that I'll put the water on to boil. We're having spaghetti tonight. How does that sound Sam?"
Sam looked over at Captain Lennox for help, who nodded his head. "That sounds fine Mrs. Lennox."
"Sarah, Sam. Call me Sarah," she replied with a smile. "Every time I hear Mrs. Lennox I start to look around for Will's mother."
Sam nodded his head. "Spaghetti would be fair, Sarah," Sam said. "Will did say you made spaghetti that is to die for."
Sarah looked over at her husband with a loving smiling.
"Well it's true," Will said as he lifted out a box from Ironhide's bed.
Sarah's smile seemed to grow bigger. "Come on honey, lets go burn some water." She said as she walked towards the house
"Sam," Bumblebee said.
"Yeah Bee," Sam replied as he pulled his duffel bag from Bumblebee's trunk.
"How do you burn water?" the Autobot scout asked.
Sam shook his head. "You can't Bee," he replied.
"Sarah can," both Ironhide and Will said at once.
Sam looked at Lennox and Ironhide with wide eyes before he shook his head in disbelief.
Will chuckled softly at Sam's expression. "Come on," he said as he started for the house, "I'll show you were you can stow your stuff."
Sam leaned up against one of the posts holding up the porch roof and stared out into the night sky.
The squeal of screen door opening announced the fact that someone was joining Sam in his solitude.
"Sarah said that dinner will be ready in half hour," Captain Lennox said as he leaned on the post next to the one Sam was leaning against.
"Ok. Thanks," Sam replied without even glancing over at the older man as he continued to stare into the night sky.
"Ironhide probably showing Bee around," Will said as he glanced over to where Ironhide normally resided at night.
"They're out there," Sam said as he pointed in a direction north of the home. "About five miles away."
Lennox raised an eyebrow at Sam's statement. "You seem pretty sure about that."
Sam shrugged his shoulders. "I can feel Bee. I can feel Ironhide too, just not as strongly as I can feel Bee."
Will nodded his head as he allowed the night sounds to fill the awkward silence that came up between them due to Sam's newest revelation.
Will cleared his throat noisily. "So, is the room alright?"
Sam straightened up and looked over at Lennox. "Yeah it's great," he answered nervously as he ran this hand through his hair. "It's going to be strange to sleep in a bed again."
"Yeah I know how that is," Lennox replied with a smirk. "That was one of things I missed while in Qatar. That and anything that wasn't an M.R.E."
Sam chuckled. "Yeah those things ain't… very tasty."
With a snort, Lennox said, "why do you think they're also known as Meals Rejected by the Enemies."
"That I can believe," Sam chuckled at the shared joke.
A more comfortable silence fell once again between the men as the music of the night filled the air.
"Choo! Choo! Open wide. Here comes the train!"
The two men turned as one and looked towards the screen door through which the sounds of Sarah feeding Annabelle could be heard.
"Your wife sure is something," Sam smiled fondly at the sounds of the happily family.
"Yeah. I really lucked out the day I met her," Lennox replied. "She was working at a diner near the base I was stationed at. Every time I was allowed off base, I would go there and try to work up the nerve to ask her out. I drank a lot of coffee during that time. In the end it was the Commander McCormick's wife who helped me get a date with Sarah."
"How did she do that?"
"You have to understand she was a very commanding woman, so when she orders you to do something you do it. Mrs. McCormick had me put my dress uniform on and then marched me over to the diner. I had to stand there while she asked Sarah for a date on my behalf."
"That had to be embarrassing," Sam commented with a chuckle.
"I had a date with Sarah. At that point nothing mattered," Will replied. "It was Mrs. McCormick's idea that I asked Sarah to marry me at a Ren Faire .She said it was the most romantic place she could think of. Sarah had honor guards, knights, the whole works. The King of the faire had to hear my petion to ask for Sarah's hand before I could ask her and this was in front of everyone."
"Talk about nerve-wracking," Sam commented. "So I'm assuming that's where your unusual greeting comes from?"
"Partly," Lennox replied as some color appeared in his cheeks. "Sarah says if we're going to be an embarrassment for Annabelle later in life we might want to get in practice now."
Sam shook his head. "Dude you need more practice. My parents are the masters of embarrassing me."
"Oh really?" Lennox said his tone of voice betraying his interest.
"Mikaela was helping me find my great grandfather's glass for the Autobots while they were outside and when the power went out my parents decided to check on me," Sam told him.
"And they found you with a girl in your room," Lennox replied.
"Not exactly," Sam replied his face growing bright red. "At the time they thought I was having some private time. My mom called it Sam's Happy Time"
"With Mikaela in the room," Lennox chuckled.
Sam nodded his head. "And the Autobots outside."
With a snort, Lennox said, "You're right your parents are masters."
Sam nodded his head; a small smile of pride graced his lips.
"They're doing ok, you know" Lennox said. "Your parents, I mean. Mikaela keeps me informed about how they're doing. She says they're doing ok, still grieving but they're not letting it consume them."
Sam nodded his head then turned and looked up at the heaven above. "I knew they would. That's one thing about my family, no matter what life gives us we're never one to give up. So tell me Will, what's the real reason for me being here?"
"I was wondering when you would ask that," Will commented.
Sam raised a single eyebrow, "And?"
"You needed it," Lennox replied simply.
Sam turned and faced Lennox, his arms crossed over his chest. "I needed it?"
Lennox nodded his head. "You need someplace to escape to. Someplace were you weren't being studied and tested every five minutes. Where you didn't have to worry about anything but being yourself." Will said as he ran a hand through his hair. "If you continued on like you were, hiding your problems, you'd come to regret everything, to hate the Autobots."
Turning away from Lennox and the concern that was evident in his eyes, Sam stared out into the darkness.
"Dinner's ready," Sarah's voice could be hear from the kitchen.
"Come on lets get something to eat," Will said.
Sam nodded his head as he turned away from the night.
"Oh three was one other reason I asked you to come here," Lennox said as he pulled open the screen door.
Sam looked at the older man suspiciously. "Yeah and what's that?"
"Have you ever changed a diaper?"