A/N: Woooh, its been what? Like... 3-4 months since I've updated this story? Sorry for the supah long wait!

Warning: This chapter contains crack. No, not the drug foo, randomness.

Also, dont forget to review!

Gokudera was mad. No, he was beyond mad. He was furious… Hell, there wasn't even a word in the entire human language that could describe the level of negative emotions he felt at that very moment. Someone had molested his boss and he couldn't get it out of his head. It just kept repeating over and over in his mind with perfect detail, adding more fuel to his righteous anger. He could remember the event perfectly, could remember exactly how it had transpired.

Tsuna was walking through the hallway, minding his own business when he turned the corner. He was prepared to continue on his way when a hand snaked out and grabbed him roughly, pulling him off balance and tugging him right into a pair of arms.

Tsuna struggled helplessly against the perverted male student and whimpered helplessly. "Hey! Let go of me!"

The boy didn't. Instead, he cackled evilly, pulling the Tenth flush against him and smirking. "Why should I?"

"Because," Tsuna said, glaring, "if you don't, my right-hand-man will beat you to a bloody pulp, and then you'll be sorry!"

Once again the no-name boy threw his head back and laughed. When he calmed down, he sneered viciously. "Right-hand-man? You mean that chain-smoker who'll have lung cancer by eighteen? Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots." He leaned down and inhaled deeply, a lecherous grin on his face. "That smoking idiot can't have you. I want you all to myself, my cute little Tuna-fish."

Tsuna once again began to struggle, tears beginning to gather in his eyes. "No!" he wailed helplessly. "Gokudera, please save me!"

The boy leaned down, his lips hovering dangerously close to his precious Tenth's mouth and… and…!

"No one kisses the Tenth's pouty pink lips but me!" Gokudera exclaimed loudly, striking a dramatic pose with his dynamite held between his fingers.

Tsuna stared, a bright blush forming. However, the other guardians glared at Gokudera with a fiery intensity that almost lit the boy's explosives.

He looked at the other guardians and withered under the combined forces of their stare. Chuckling nervously, he added, "Although… I'd be willing to share?"

They were successfully appeased.

"Guys, don't act like I'm not even here," Tsuna muttered. Everyone ignored him.

"What are we going to do?" Yamamoto asked, a steely glint in his normally cheerful eyes. An angry Yamamoto was truly a very scary Yamamoto.

"That guy EXTREMELY violated the innocent Sawada!" Ryohei declared, fire burning behind his eyes and his fists pumped. "He must be punished!"

Everyone seemed to agree and Tsuna was beginning to panic.

"Let's split up," Reborn suggested, his hat tipped down, a dramatic shadow covering the top half of his face. "Once we find him, we'll all regroup and teach him what happens to people who think they can molest the family's boss--"

"No matter how weak he is!" Ken barked, his features that of a wild dog.

"Or molestable," Gokudera added.

"Or cute!" Ryohei chimed in.

"Or smexalicious…" Chrome added boldly. Everyone stared at her and she blushed. "Sorry, that was Mukuro talking…"

"Anyway," Iemitsu said, breaking the weird silence, "no matter how much of an uke Tsuna is, what that boy did will have to be punished by death!"

"Death?!" Tsuna squawked and then paused as the rest of his father's words registered in his brain. "And I am not an uke, weak, molestable, or smexalicious! Okay, well maybe I am smexalicious," he added, blushing bright red.

All the guardians stared at him with an, 'You are so all of those things!' look and he faded back into the wall, preferring to be ignored than stared at so hungrily.

"What did the perpetrator look like?" Hibari asked, finally breaking his train of thought of how he would get a certain herbivore to eat meat. The other guardians also broke out of their daydreams revolving around Tsuna and rather questionable metaphors.

"Err…" Gokudera coughed, his cheek still a little red from his fantasy. "Well, he had nondescript features, average height and weight, brown hair, and wore the school uniform."

Silence reigned.

"What?" Hibari questioned lowly.

Gokudera began to sweat as everyone sent him glares. "He was just some random male nobody!"

Iemitsu sighed and shook his head. "Guess we'll just have to search the entire town until we find him…" He handed out maps of the areas that everyone would check. "If you find him, send some type of signal and everyone will meet there. Agreed?"

Everyone agreed and dispersed, leaving Tsuna to just stand there gaping. If they got their hands on that mystery boy… Tsuna didn't know what they'd do to him, but he knew it would be unpleasant. It was with a sigh that he left the school as well, determined to find the boy who started this entire misunderstanding before his family did.

Not even five minutes later, ten-year-later Lambo rushed in, breathless. "Did I miss the Random Boy Hunt?" He looked around the destroyed ruins of the school and sighed, tears already forming in his eyes. "Everyone always forgets about me…"