Lost
Lost
You know the drill. Nothing belongs to be. Remus, Sirius, Harry, ect. All belong to JK Rowling. The song is by Sarah McLaughlin (sp?) Please review. I live off of reviews! Heheh.  Anyway, I have several stories, just waiting to be finished.  Including a what if story, and the revised edition of my mane is Sirius Black, which I am determined to finish this semester! I know I said that about last summer too. I will try my hardest to get these out, but as most of you know, school takes up soooooo much free time.
Btw, just a simply question.  Those of you who read MNISB, should I keep the author's notes, or just write new ones? Tell me what you think. Thanks! R/r.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Remus closed his eyes, trying to block out the muted noise of the next room.  No one had said anything all day, not to him. He didn't blame them.  What was there to say?   He'd already heard far too many I'm sorry's. 
What did they know anyway?  Had any of them really really known them?  How many knew that James was afraid of snakes?  Of that Lily could make the best Christmas cookies you'd ever tasted?  How many knew how much Sirius loved that bike, or the way Peter smiled when he finally got something right?  None of them knew.  Only Remus.  Remus was the only one left.  The only one to remember. 
 
By the shadows of the night I go
I move away from the crowded room
That sea of shallow faces masked with warm regret
They don't know how to feel
They don't know what is lost
 
 He opened his eyes and found himself in the garden behind the house.  From the porch, he could see the stars.  One star in particular stood out from the rest. Maybe because it was the brightest star, maybe because it was directly above him, or maybe it just called to him.   The Dogstar twinkled, seemingly laughing at him. 
He closed his eyes again and a face swam in his vision.  The face of a man with black hair like the night sky and pale twinkling eyes, reflecting the light much as his namesake now did.  Though his body still lived, Remus knew that man was dead, buried with Lily and James and Peter.
 
 
 
Lost in the darkness of a land
Where all the hope that's offered is
Memories of being taken by the hand
And we are led into the sun
But I don't have a hold on what is real
Though we can only try
What is there to give or to believe
 
What now? Remus wondered.  How do I go from here?  How do I live? How can I be so alone again?  It almost killed me before and I'd never even had all the blessings I know now.  How to I live knowing I'll never see them again?  How do I survive being the last one?  Can I? 
 
 
I want it all to go away
I want to be alone
Sympathy's wasted on my hollow shell
I feel there's nothing left to fight for
No reason for a cause
And I can't feel your voice
And I can't feel you near
 
 
 "Hey Remus.  How are you?" Remus turned to face  the man in front of him.   Terry Fawker, a face from his old Hogwarts days, and a member of the  Order of The Phoenix. 
"Hello Terry." Remus replied, more out of habit than courtesy. 
"How are you feeling?' terry asked.   Remus turned and stared up at the star, which twinkled mockingly, and the echo of a crazed maniacal laughter drifted  through the air. He closed his eyes, forcing himself to ignore the voice, as loud as it screamed. 
"terry, imagine the worst day of your life." Terry nodded. " Then  take your family and friends and have them tortured and murdered in front of your very eyes while you do nothing but watch."  Remus's voice was a harsh whisper.  " Take that horrendous feeling and multiply it as far as you can, you may know a bit of what I'm feeling tonight."  
Terry's eyes widened and he backed off, whispering, "I'm sorry." 
Remus ignored him.  that wasn't the voice he wanted to hear.  He tried to recall James, laughing with Sirius that morning in their first year so long ago. 
" Come on Remy! We need to make an impression if we're going to be the worst  pranksters every to come to Hogwarts! Come on!"  
but the voice  died away as did the memory.  James was dead, Lily too.  Of the Potter's, only little Harry survived. 
James was dead. Sirius was dead. Peter was dead.  Only Remus was left.  And as hard as he listened, he still  couldn't hear his friends. 
 
 
Lost in the darkness of a land
Where all the hope that's offered is
Memories of being taken by the hand
And we are led into the sun
But I don't have a hold on what is real
Though we can only try
What is there to give or to believe?
 
 
What was there to believe in now?  Who to believe in?  All his heroes were dead or as good as.  What was there to do now?  Where could he go?  There was nowhere.  Everything he had built over the  passed eleven years had been destroyed in one shocking blow.  
Remus  dropped to his knees and  stared,  imploringly at the sky.  Please, please let this be some horrible dream. Please let this  nightmare end.  Please, god, please.  
He received no answer, but the twinkling of the stars. 
"God damn you!"  Remus  roared. "Damnit ,why?  Why take everything from me?  Couldn't you have left me Sirius or Peter?  Why?  Why do you hate me?"  he screamed into the night. 
 Then he collapsed,  sobs racking his body.  It was a very long time before his knees would allow him to stand up and walk away that  night. 
 
I wanted a change knowing all I could do was try
I was looking for someone