Disclaimer: This one is multiple choice: a) I own Inuyasha, b) Rumiko Takahashi owns Inuyasha, c) George W. Bush is the most brilliant diplomat the world has ever seen…
Time's up! The correct answer is "b"… (--grin--)
Author's Note: Well, this is another little humorous bit that's been sitting in my "Random Inspirations" file for god knows how long, so I finally decided to dust it off and put it up. Oh, and for those who felt, shall we say, duped by "Matters of the Heart," I promise this isn't the same thing… (--grin--)
The wind whispered through the trees that lined the forest path as they stared at each other, seemingly frozen in time. This was it—the moment had come. He wasn't sure why, but he knew it had to be now, now or never. Finally, with bated breath, he opened his mouth to speak the long-awaited words. "Kagome…I lo—"
"Wait!" she interrupted hastily, "You can't say it now!"
He frowned irritably. "Why not?"
"Because, we have to be standing by the Goshinboku when you confess your love for me!" she said in exasperation.
"I dunno…we just do!"
"Well…that's just the way people always seem to do it. I mean, we hardly ever really spend any time there, but apparently that particular spot puts you in a very love-confessional sort of mood. It's where we both do all our thinking."
"When have we ever done any thinking there?"
Kagome paused, stumped. "Hm…well there must be something…"
"So what are the odds that when I finally get around to telling you I love you, we would just happen to be in the place where we first met?"
Her eyes grew round and watery. "You do?" she cooed, turning to goo before his eyes. "Oh my, I never knew…"
"Wait! That wasn't it! I was just trying to make a point—that wasn't the actual confession! Don't you know anything about dramatic structure? Feh…"
"Oh—sorry. Well, how did you want to say it then?"
"Um…" he stalled, all at once flustered. "Well I had it, but you made me stop, and now I can't remember it!"
She pouted. "Then you don't love me?"
"Not at the moment, no. Um—hm—let me see…okay, maybe if you act like you're about to die it'll jog my memory and I'll feel a rush of love for you."
"Okay," she nodded, "just a sec." She stood still with equal weight on both feet, looking down at the ground.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
She shot him an annoyed glare. "I'm centering, thank you very much—and now I'll have to start over, thanks to you…"
"Sor-ry. Go ahead. 'Center' away."
She returned her gaze to the ground for a few moments, and then suddenly raised her head and cried out with an exaggerated swoon, "Oh dear god, Inuyasha, I have been struck by one of Naraku's minions and shall surely perish here in your arms!" With a sigh, she toppled forward into Inuyasha's embrace, knocking them both to the ground. "If you have any last confessions, any last words you wish me to hear before I die, speak quickly, for I fear I have only a few moments remaining."
"Why the hell are you talking like that?"
She rolled her eyes. "Because I'm dying, you moron! Get with the program!"
He gave her a dry look. "I don't think this is working either."
"Fine—jeez, you're so picky," she mumbled, shoving herself back to sit on her heels. "Who are you, Francis Ford Coppola?"
"Who?" He pushed himself up into a sitting position as well, giving her a confused look.
"Nevermind. You suggest something then, if you're gonna be so picky."
"Hey, you were the one who started all this—I was just gonna come out and say it, but you wouldn't let me, and now I can't."
"Why can't you?" she asked, looking at him suddenly.
"Why can't I what?"
"You know," she replied, looking away with a slight blush. "Just say it—without all the drama and 'the moment.' I mean…maybe…wouldn't that work?"
He tilted his head slightly, watching her appraisingly, feeling a warm glow settle deep within his chest. "I love you," he murmured in answer. The words came out as naturally as breath—he didn't even realize he'd said them until they were out there, drifting away on the breeze.
She lifted her eyes to his shyly, smiling gently. "I know…"
Hm. That was easier than he'd thought it would be…
A/N: This one took a slightly unexpected turn when I went back to edit it. When it was in "note form" it only went as far as the "get with the program!" line, but that didn't really feel like an ending, so I tried to round it off, and this was what I ended up with. I'm afraid the tone at the end doesn't quite match up with the rest, but I couldn't think of anything better—and let's face it, I thought it was cute… (--grin--)