Sophie's Journal

Description: This is the journal of Sophie Singer, the daughter of demon hunter Bobby Singer. She thought she was living a normal life until she found out that a demon killed her biological parents when she was an infant. John Winchester saved her life and Bobby raised her as his daughter. Shortly after finding out the truth her life becomes one long roller coaster ride. Her journal is full of romance, suspense, and drama and it all begins when she finally meets the Winchesters.

Note: Comments and suggestions are encouraged. Every suggestion will be taken seriously. So please if you like the story, or don't like the story, let me know what I can do to make it better.

Thank you for reading.

Aug 8, 2000

This is my very first journal entry. My father came up with the idea. He says that a journal is a great place for a person to let out their true feelings and thoughts. He also said that it is fun later on to read these journal entries and recall moments in your life you may not have remembered if you didn't have the journal. At first I wasn't really sure that I wanted to keep a journal, but when my father showed me the one he bought me I thought it wouldn't be so bad. This is such a beautiful journal; I just need to find a place to hide it from my father because I have a feeling that he is going to be looking for it so he can get the dirt on my life. I'm not really sure what to write about. Let's start with some background information about myself.

My name is Sophie Singer. I'm 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. My parents' names are Bobby and Karen. I've never met my mother because she passed away when I was an infant. All I have is a picture of her.

My father and I live in a small town just outside of Sioux Falls, South Dakota. There isn't much to do here besides drink down by the lake. Our house doubles as my father's business. He owns and operates Singer's Salvage Yard. He loves cars and has passed that trait down to me. Since I can remember I have learned everything one needs to know about cars from my daddy.

Our house is also like a hotel for my father's friends. They come to our house stay for a few nights and then leave. There are a lot of interesting characters that come over to our house. One man in particular comes over quite a bit. His name is John Winchester. He has two sons, Sam and Dean. Dean looks to be about five years older than me and Sam isn't much older than me. We have never been formally introduced, but that is because I go up into my room to do my homework or to read. I have ventured downstairs to the kitchen a few times while my father and John talk. I listen now and then to what they are talking about. They talk about the weirdest stuff, stuff that you would hear about on like "Buffy," but not in real life. Stuff that sounds like crazy talk when not on those shows. They talk about ghosts and demons. I even heard them mention the hookman once.

Oct 18, 2000

My father has made it his responsibility to train me for, well I'm not really sure what. Every other day we have shooting practice in the backyard. He also teaches me self-defense. I try to get out of them by saying that I have homework to do, but he doesn't buy it sometimes. He can tell when I'm lying or something.

Nov 30, 2000

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have finally been formally introduced to John and his sons. My father invited them over for Thanksgiving dinner. Dean, the older of the two, is pretty good looking, but he knows he is, which is a major turn off. He is a whack job. He is 21 years old and has no plans of ever going to college. He says that his job is, get this, fighting evil. Not like fighting crime on the streets, but like killing evil spirits and demons and all other supernatural creatures. He is going to be mighty disappointed when he finds out that his job doesn't really exist and that it is all in his imagination. He tried to tell me a story about a rawhead, or something like that, that he and his father hunted. I just nodded along thinking about how much help this guy needed. His brother, Sam is the normal one of the family, kind of like the blond chick from the Munsters.

Sam is about 6'1" and is not done growing yet; he is also very good looking. He is 17 and really wants to go to college when he is done with high school. His first choice is Stanford. John isn't really too keen on the idea of Sam going off to school. From what Sam told me John basically forbids him from going off to school. It really didn't make much sense to me. Why would a parent disapprove of their kid going off to college? That is the Winchesters for you.

Feb 3, 2001

John came to visit today. His sons were not with him. He said they were in a motel in Michigan. I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he really didn't want to talk to me. He was here to talk to my father, as usual. He said it was urgent. Once my father entered the room John asked me to leave. I left immediately. I could really care less what they had to talk about. I had homework to do anyways.

After about a half hour of doing homework I decided to go down to the kitchen to get a glass of water; I fully regret this decision now. Now my life is totally and completely confusing. I am not being a drama queen I am telling the truth.

As I went downstairs to get some water I heard John mention my name. This really interested me because they don't usually talk about me. At first I thought maybe John was just asking how I was doing, but then he told my father that he had found some answers about my parents' killer. I should have continued to listen after he said that, but my mind started going crazy with questions. Questions like: What did he mean my parents' killer? Shouldn't he have said mother's killer?

After these questions went through my mind I realized that I stopped listening and decided to start listening to them again, but I was completely lost as to what they were talking about. John was talking about a demon that he was close to getting some information on. He started talking about how this thing killed Mary and he wanted it dead as soon as possible. Why was he talking about a demon? What had killed my mother? Was it this demon that also killed Mary, Sam and Dean's mother? A demon? Yeah right, that's a little far-fetched. But John had pluralized parent. Which means that both my parents would be dead. Does that mean that Bobby isn't my real father?

Feb 4, 2001

I confronted my father, or should I say, who I thought was my father. Ever since I heard the truth yesterday I couldn't stop wondering if it was true. I had to find out. This is what I get for eavesdropping. There wasn't really a point to going to school today because I didn't pay attention to a single word any of my teachers said. I just sat in the classroom going over the conversation between my father and John Winchester again and again. I kept thinking maybe I heard him wrong. Why would my father lie to me all these years?

As soon as I got home I decided I would make my father sit down so I could find out the truth. I knew he would be upset with me for eavesdropping, but I had even more reason to be pissed. When I got home my father was in the shed working on a customer's car. Once I walked in he could tell something was wrong. I told him that I needed to talk to him. He continued working on the car and asked me what was on my mind. I wanted his undivided attention, but he was focused on working on the car. I stared at the car gathering my thoughts. I wasn't sure how to approach the topic. My father continued working on the car waiting for me to say something.

I took a deep breath and told him that I heard his conversation with John Winchester last night. At first he didn't realize why that was such a big deal until he remembered what they discussed. I asked him if everything John said was true. He nodded and said that Mary Winchester was killed by a demon and John was trying to track it down. That wasn't what I meant. I rephrased the question and asked him if it was true that the same demon killed my parents. His eyes narrowed and he told me that it wasn't good to listen to private conversations. There was a reason they were private. I was going to apologize, but then I remembered he was the one that needed to apologize.

By his reaction I knew that it was true. I continued to ask him if he wasn't my biological father. He didn't answer the question, but muttered under his breath that he was afraid this day would come. He knew one day I would find out the truth and want answers. I shrugged my shoulders and told him that he shouldn't have kept it from me to begin with. I wanted to know the truth about my parents.

Bobby suggested we move into the house because he needed a drink. We moved to his office and he pulled out a bottle of whiskey from his desk drawer. I knew this was tough for him since I rarely saw him drink. He took a few sips and then told me about my parents' death. I was about six months old when my parents, Kurt and Victoria Coltan, died in a house fire. John Winchester happened to be walking by the house when it caught fire and got me out in time. He couldn't get to my parents, but he saved me at least. Bobby was the closest hunter to John at the time so he brought me over until he could find me a home. He didn't realize at the time that he raise me. He thought it was a temporary solution. After a few weeks of having me in his home he fell in love with me. He told John that he would adopt me.

I couldn't believe what he had told me. For the past fifteen, almost sixteen, years I have believed that Bobby Singer was my biological father. I had to find out the truth by eavesdropping. I had to know why he kept it from me. There are several kids in my high school that were adopted and have known their entire lives. It's not like it is uncommon around here. He said he was protecting me from the truth. The truth was more than I could handle and he loved me too much. If he really loved me he would've told me the truth. After he said that I stood up out of anger and asked him what he was protecting me from? This so called demon that killed me parents? I still didn't believe that part of the story. What proof did John have that it was a demon? I stormed off and went to my room to hide.

Feb 8, 2001

I haven't talked to my father since he told me the truth. I have just been sitting in my room. The only time I leave my room is to either go to the bathroom or when I leave for school. He's tried talking to me, but I don't want to hear it. He keeps saying how he was trying to protect me. I know that was probably his original intentions, but eventually I think he was afraid to tell me. He was afraid that he would lose me as his daughter. I think if he would've told me himself I would've reacted differently. The fact that I had to hear the truth the one time I was nosy is what bothers me. How long would it have been until he told me? Would I have gone my entire life thinking he was my real father? What if I got really sick and needed blood immediately from a family member? Or vice versa. Is that what it would've taken to find out the truth?

I still love Bobby. He will always be the man who raised me. However, right now I think I have every right to be upset with him. All the trust I had in him is gone. Whenever I look at him I am filled with disappointment. How could I not have seen it before? I don't look anything like him or the woman he claimed was my mother. I thought that there had to be a relative that I got my dark hair from. There were times when I would stare at the picture of my "mother" and look for similar features. Now I know why I couldn't find any.

March 4, 2001

Happy birthday to me! Things haven't changed much since my last entry. Bobby keeps trying to tell me that what John said about my parents is true, but now I'm just thinking he's crazy. Demons don't exist. John is probably just trying to come up with some sort of reasoning for his wife's death. I went to the library and looked up what happened that night. It says that it was an electrical fire. The fire started in Sam's nursery and then spread throughout the rest of the house. I'll let him and my father believe whatever they want if that makes them feel better.

March 17, 2001

I've been having these dreams, these nightmares if you will. I can't really explain them. They're basically the same every night. I'm an infant in my crib, and whom I am guessing is, my mother is saying goodnight to me. But the point of view is as if I am a bystander watching from the sidelines. My mother leans down and gives me a kiss on the forehead. Then my father comes in and kisses me goodnight. After about five minutes a strange man enters my room. He leans over my crib like he is trying to tell me something. My mother comes in the room wondering what is going on. I don't really know how, but all of a sudden my mother is on the ceiling bleeding from the stomach area. My father then comes in wondering what all the commotion is about. He then sees my mother on the ceiling. He starts screaming frantically not knowing what to do. Then my mother bursts into flames and my father stands dumbfounded.

That is about where the dream ends. I've had it almost every night for the past two weeks. The dream feels so real. Every time the fire starts I can feel the heat of the flames on my face. What does it mean? Is that really what happened to my parents? How would I be able to remember something like that? I was too young to remember. Who was that man standing over my bed? Was it really a man or was it a demon like Bobby and John said? If I want answers I will have to ask the man who witnessed my parents' death, John Winchester.

Apr 10, 2001

I will finally get the answers to my questions. John will be coming over tomorrow. He has been working a job and is finally done. The nightmares haven't stopped. I haven't told anyone about them. I just told Bobby that I wanted to talk to John about my parents.

Apr 11, 2001

I don't know what to think anymore. I thought this meeting with John would help me understand what happened to my parents, but it made matters worse. When I told John about my dreams he looked shocked. I described the dream in complete detail from my mother on the ceiling to the heat of the flames from the fire. He didn't really know what to say. That right there told me that was what happened to my parents. He didn't even need to confirm it now.

After a couple of minutes he opened up and told me the truth. He explained that this demon was very powerful, but once he found its weakness he was going to kill it for Mary and my parents. I asked him how he knew to come to my house and save me. He admitted that he really was just driving by my house when it caught on fire. He pulled over as soon as he saw the flames and got out of his car. When he looked in my bedroom window he saw the demon looking out at him. His eyes were glowing yellow. He ran into my house to confront the demon, but when he got there he was gone and he heard me crying in my crib. It was the strangest thing, everything in my room was on fire but my crib. If he didn't know any better he would think that the demon wanted me alive. He doesn't believe it was coincidence that he was in my hometown on a hunt when the demon attacked, but he had no idea that the demon was going to kill my parents. If he had known he would've tried to save them too.

Soon after that he left saying Dean and Sam were waiting for him at the motel room. Now I have so many questions. I guess this means that demons really do exist. And if demons exist what else is out there? Why was John Winchester driving passed my house when it caught fire? If the demon wanted me alive why didn't he just take me? Why kill my parents?

May 2, 2001

What's the point of going to school anymore? Ever since I found out the truth all I can think about is what else is out there. I borrowed some of my father's books. He has the biggest collection of books on the bizarre that I have ever seen. Our relationship is much better nowadays. I think he is glad that I am talking to him again. I also think he likes the fact that I want to learn about all this supernatural stuff. But at the same time I can see that he is a bit hesitant to tell me everything. He said he wouldn't hold anything back. I respect him for that. Most parents would hide the truth from their kids, but not my father. I've decided that I will call Bobby "Dad" because even though he is not my biological father he raised me like his own daughter. And I couldn't imagine anyone else as my father. I'm still working on trusting him, but it is getting better these days.

June 3, 2001

As Alice Cooper said "School's out for summer." And I am so glad. I can focus more on my training. My father is teaching me everything I need to know about fighting evil. I'm starting to think that Dean had the right mind set despite what I said earlier.

Speaking of the Winchesters, Sam is going to be spending the summer here. I'm not sure how I feel about having him in the house. I'm fine with my father's friends coming through and staying over night, but sharing the house with another person is different. He is going to be invading my space. It's not that I'm territorial or anything. It's just that I'm used to it being my father and I most of the time. Having someone that is closer to my age and that looks like Sam is going to be a challenge. He will be here by the end of this week. I'm not really sure why he is staying with us instead of with his family. I suppose that really isn't any of my business.

June 7, 2001

Sam moved in today. He is in the room right next to me. I'm not really happy about this, but there is nowhere else for him to go. I asked him why he isn't out hunting with his father and brother. He just said that he didn't feel like it. Of course there is more to the story, but I could tell by his answer that he didn't feel like telling me right now. I have a feeling that my father knows why. But I have other things to think about than why Sam Winchester is spending the summer here.

June 26, 2001

Sam and I have been hanging out a lot lately. Who else am I supposed to hang out with? He lives at our house. He's a pretty cool guy and really smart. He has some pretty interesting stories about hunts that he and his family have gone on. I can tell when he talks about them that he doesn't really have the happiest of memories. I still haven't found out the truth to why he is spending the summer here, but I am kind of glad he is. I would probably be bored out of my mind if he wasn't here.

Sam isn't too bad to look at. He really is a tall drink of water. I might just be the raging hormones, but I find myself attracted to him at times. Then I remember that he is off limits because he is living at my house. My father would disapprove right away if Sam and I ever decided to get together. I can't help but stare at him sometimes. When he runs his fingers through his hair I lose all train of thought. The other morning I stepped out of my room at the same time he stepped out of his. He only had on a pair of gym shorts that hung low on his hips. His hair was still messy from sleep. I couldn't help, but look at his hard body. I've never been one to fantasize about a guy I actually knew, but Sam was an exception. I shook myself out of my trance and said good morning to Sam.

July 2, 2001

I decided to ask Sam why he moved in with us for the summer again. This time I got the real answer. Apparently he and his father got into a huge fight because he told his father he's going to Stanford instead of hunting. His father threw him out of the house. I just think that is crazy. I knew John was a tough father, but this takes the cake. A father kicking his son out for going off to college? Sam also got a full ride to Stanford. I told him his father was probably worried about him. He said he really didn't care what his father thought; he was going to college whether or not his father supports him.

I took his hand in mine and told him I supported him. Sam just looked at our hands and said nothing. He looked so sad. I could tell that he appreciated my support, but what he really wanted was the support of his father. I didn't like seeing Sam so sad. I just wanted to comfort him, but I didn't really know what my limits were. I scooted closer to him while keeping my hand in his. I cupped his face with my free hand so that I could get him to look at me. I looked into his beautiful hazel eyes and repeated myself. Sam put his hand behind my head and brought it towards his. Our foreheads touched and we sat there looking into each other's eyes trying to figure out what the other was thinking. I wanted nothing more but for our lips to touch. We both wanted to take that next step, but we were both afraid of the consequences. There was definitely something between us. I finally broke the moment. I said it was getting late and that I needed to go to bed. I didn't want to leave, but I knew that if I didn't things would change. I don't want my dad to feel weird about having Sam here if we were to start dating.

July 7, 2001

The nightmares have started again. This time they are different, but similar at the same time. There is this man with these bright yellow eyes. He sits me down and tells me he has plans for me. He says there is a war coming. I ask him when, but he always replies, "When the time is right." That is about all he tells me. I haven't shared this with anyone, and I don't really plan to.

July 14, 2001

Sam leaves for Stanford in about a month. It won't be the same without him here. We are spending every moment with each other. I never get sick of him. He always has stories for me about past hunts. He is teaching me so much about the supernatural. He explains why certain things are used. Such as why rock salt is used to repel spirits.

My father has left Sam and I alone while he goes off on a hunt. He must really trust Sam and I to be alone together. He has no reason not to trust us. Nothing is going on between Sam and I.

July 15, 2001

I take back what I said about nothing going on between Sam and me. There is something there and today proved that. Sam and I were watching TV when "The Real World" came on. Sam wanted me to change the channel really bad. He can't stand anything on MTV. I didn't really care what we watched, but I felt like messing with Sam for a little while. He got really annoyed and decided he was going to try to take the remote from me. He leaned over me to get it, but I wasn't going to go down without a fight. I went to grab for the remote, but he got to it right before me. He hurried up and changed it to the History Channel. I wasn't going to let him get away with taking the remote. So I tried to get it back from him. We started wrestling for the remote one thing led to another and I ended up on top of him. He used his long arms to his advantage by putting the remote above his head and out of my reach. I kept trying to reach for it; I was determined to get the remote. I looked down at Sam and was about to plead for the remote when all of a sudden he stretches his head up and gives me a kiss on the lips. At first I wanted to push away, but I couldn't. His lips were so soft and warm. We both gave up on fighting for the remote. The way he held me as we kissed made me feel safe. There we were kissing while a special about dinosaurs played in the background.

Things probably would have gone further had it not been for my father calling to check up on us. In some ways I'm glad he did, but I'm also kind of upset he did. Sam would be the best guy to lose my virginity to. He is so sweet and sensitive and he has so much going for him. We will just have to see how things go tomorrow.

July 18, 2001

Things have been getting pretty hot and heavy between Sam and I. We've only gone as far as touching, it's been pretty PG. We've slept together but we haven't slept together. I think Sam is starting to suspect my nightmares. I wake up a lot in the middle of the night in a cold sweat practically screaming. Sometimes Sam notices, but other times he is just dead asleep. We already talked about what we are going to do when my father returns or at least I have told Sam that we are to keep our relationship from my father for right now. My father would not allow Sam in this household if he found out we were sleeping in the same bed together. He would think we were doing something else. After all I am his 16-year-old daughter and Sam is just some 18-year-old boy with one thing on his mind. Either way I feel so safe in Sam's arms. The way he holds me makes me feel loved. Our relationship is strong. We understand one another so much, we know each other's likes and dislikes, and we know what the other is thinking and feeling. I may only be 16, but I know what I'm feeling and that is love. I, Sophie Ruby Singer, am in love with Samuel Winchester.

July 20, 2001

Is it bad that I don't want my father to come back from his hunt any time soon? It has been great not having my father breathing down my neck. Having Sam here by myself is great. We don't really do much, but any time that I spend with Sam is great. We've gone out back and had some target practice, but otherwise we usually just hang out inside and watch movies. I just love being in Sam's arms. His embrace is so warm and inviting. The warmth of his body and the smell of his hair are so intoxicating.

I don't know what I am going to do when Sam leaves for school. He is going to be all the way in California. I'm going to miss him so much. I would go with him, but my father insists that I finish high school. Sam agrees with my father that I should finish high school and go off to college. I have no idea what I would major in. What I really want to do is hunt down the son of a bitch that killed my parents and maybe some other evil SOBs too. However if I told Sam that he would probably try his hardest to convince me to pick a different career path. He'd probably tell me about all the hardships of going into the hunting world and warn me that it isn't worth. I don't feel like starting an argument with him especially when we've been so happy lately.

July 22, 2001

Sam and I got as close to having sex tonight before my father interrupted. It is like he can tell when things are about to happen with Sam. He called to say that he is on his way home and he should be home by tomorrow night. So in other words this is mine and Sam's last night together before my father comes home and Sam goes off to college.

July 23, 2001

My father is back from his hunt. This one looks like it was a tough one. He has cuts and bruises all over his body. I was anxious to know about the hunt, but he was tired and didn't really feel like talking about it.

It's nice having him home, but I missed Sam last night while I slept. I missed the warmth of his body, the sound of his beating heart, and the rhythm of his breathing that put me to sleep. I was tempted to sneak into his room last night and spend the night with him, but I couldn't risk being caught by my father. Sam and I sneak in a few touches here and there in front of my father, but nothing has really set him off. Sam requested that I come to his room tonight to "talk." I wonder what he wants to talk about. ;-)

July 24, 2001

Sam and I got pretty close to getting caught last night when he and I had our little "chat." We were in the middle of an intense conversation when my father came up to say good night to me. The strange thing is my father hasn't come to say good night to me in about a decade. I was in Sam's room at the time. We heard him coming up the stairs so we stopped talking. He was knocking on my door when I stepped out of Sam's room. He looked confused at first, which I expected, but he didn't really seem to care that I was in Sam's room with the door shut. He just said good night and then went back downstairs to his office. I told Sam that was it for the night and I was going off to bed too. Sam looked disappointed, but understood what I was feeling at the same time. That is what I love about him there is no pressure there. He really gets me.

July 30, 2001

I snuck into Sam's room last night just to sleep with him. We didn't do anything, but sleep. I couldn't take not having him there while I sleep. He makes me feel so safe. I usually have the best night's sleep when I am in his arms. The rhythm of his heart and breathing puts me right to sleep. He snores a little in his sleep, but I don't mind it.

I made sure to set an alarm so that I would wake up before my father and go back to my room. I didn't want to get up when my alarm went off. I just wanted to stay in bed with Sam, but he made sure that I got up and moved back to my room. It's a good thing he did because my father came into my room while I was sleeping to ask me a question. If I hadn't gone back to my room my father would've caught me in Sam's bed. That wouldn't have been very fun. My father probably would have kicked Sam out of the house.

Aug 4, 2001

So Sam and I have been sneaking into each other's beds since my last entry. So far we haven't gotten caught. There was one morning when Sam got close because my father had gotten out of bed a little earlier than usual. Sam had stepped out of my room right when my father was coming out of his room. Sam hurried up and shut the door. He stood by the door waiting for my father to go downstairs. Once we heard that my father was in the kitchen Sam left to go to his room.

In other news, Sam wants to take me out to dinner tomorrow. I'm not sure where he is going to be taking me. I keep asking him where we are going to eat, but he won't tell me. I'm not sure where there is to go for some good food around here. The main places we go to eat are the local diner and McDonald's. I guess I'll just have to be patient and see where he takes me.

Aug 6, 2001

So dinner with Sam was amazing. He took me to this little Italian place about thirty minutes from my house. I had no idea that this place existed, but it had amazing food. It was an authentic Italian restaurant. This was no Olive Garden. Sam said that my father told him about it. This makes me wonder why my father never took me to the restaurant before. It might be because it is a half hour away. My father doesn't like to go more than fifteen minutes from our house unless he is going on a hunt. That is mainly why I have never been outside of South Dakota. The biggest city I have been to is Sioux Falls and they barely have 125,000 people. I've never seen a building taller than thirty stories and I have never seen the ocean or any of the Great Lakes.

Anyways, dinner was fabulous. The food was nothing I had tasted before. The only spaghetti I'd had was my father's. Granted my father makes some of the best spaghetti. However, I have never had any other Italian food besides pizza or spaghetti. I decided to order the baked penne and Sam ordered the salmon. I tried some of his and thought it was amazing. I had never had any other fish before besides cod. It was so good that I wished I had ordered it.

After we finished our food we decided to just go for a walk. There was a park about a block from the restaurant and it was a beautiful summer night. Sam took my hand in his and we just walked in silence. The silence wasn't awkward it was actually pretty peaceful.

After about fifteen minutes of walking around the park we decided to lie down on the grass to look at the stars. We found a secluded part of the park that was away from any lights so we could get the best view of the stars. We hadn't brought a blanket with us so Sam improvised and used his jacket instead. There were a lot of stars out it was gorgeous. It was so clear that we could see parts of the Milky Way. Sam would point out the constellations that he could find. The only constellation I could point out was the Big Dipper, but Sam knew a lot more.

The night was perfect. I didn't want it to end. I just wanted to stay there in Sam's arms and never leave them. I thought that I was keeping my thoughts in my head, but I guess I was wrong because before I knew it I told Sam about how I loved him. He told me almost right away that he loves me too. There was absolutely no hesitation or tension in his voice. I knew he was telling the truth.

After he said it back I gave him a quick kiss, but it soon turned into a more passionate kiss. I could tell that Sam and I had the same thing on our mind and we didn't feel like leaving that spot. Sam started inching his hand closer and closer to the hem of my shirt. He slowly placed his hand under my shirt and started brushing his fingertips along my stomach. It felt amazing. I was tingling all over. I let out a slight moan because of how incredible it felt just having his hands brushing my stomach. Sam soon moved his lips from mine and placed them on my neck, but I soon had to stop because I didn't want hickeys anywhere visible. My father would get very suspicious if I came home with hickeys after going out to dinner with Sam. He already gave us a weird look when we told him we were going out to dinner.

Anyways, I told Sam to move his mouth somewhere else and he listened. He had me lie on my back and then lifted my shirt up part way so that my stomach was showing. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and then moved his head more south so that he was by my stomach. The things he did with his mouth and tongue was just amazing. If I didn't have goose bumps before I did then. I had to bite my lip so that I didn't make too much noise. He would get so close to the top of my pants, but would not go past my hips. It was sort of a tease, which just made it that much better. I just wanted him to keep going lower, but he wouldn't.

After about five minutes of him teasing me he finally came back up and started kissing me again. As we were kissing I had Sam sit down and I got on top of him. I could feel Sam through his pants. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him. I brought my fingers to the top of his pants and brushed them against his stomach right underneath them. Sam let out a slight moan and his eyes rolled back a little. I had him lie down while I stayed on top of him. I started kissing his neck while slowly unbuttoning his shirt. I would lower my mouth with each button I would undo. He was definitely growing underneath me.

I didn't get to do much to Sam before he lifted me off of him so that he could be on top. He had me lie on my back again. He undid the top button on my jeans and unzipped them. He started tracing the part of my stomach right above my jeans. He was a little hesitant, but he slowly slid his hand under my underwear. I really had to bite my lip at this point so that I didn't make too much noise. I was squeezing Sam's jacket so hard so that I could keep the noise down. He hadn't even done anything yet and I was already having trouble keeping my moans down.

Sam was so close to putting his fingers inside of me when my phone went off. It was my father, of course. I took a deep breath to collect myself and answered. He was checking to make sure we were alive because it was almost midnight and we had left for dinner at six. We had completely lost track of time. I apologized to my father and told him we would be home soon. He said there was no hurry he was just concerned because we were gone for so long.

After I hung up Sam could tell that we were done for the night. I gave him a quick kiss and told him that it would happen when the time is right. We then got up and put ourselves back together. We walked back to the car hand in hand and continued holding hands the entire time Sam was driving back.

As soon as we arrived at my house we made sure to keep our distance from each other when walking into the house. Sam walked a few paces in front of me. We both knew that my father hadn't gone to bed yet because the lights were still on in the living room and kitchen. My father only leaves on the living room light when he goes to bed. When we walked in my father was sitting in his office reading. At first I thought he had stayed awake waiting for us to come back, but I was wrong. He was investigating something for someone. I could tell that he wanted to go to bed, but he had to continue researching. Sam and I offered to help him, but he refused. I decided to make him some coffee and then Sam and I went up to bed.

Sam and I decided it would be best if we slept in separate beds for the night. Who knows what we would've ended up doing if we slept in the same bed. With my father staying up all night it would have been a huge risk. I can tell that my father already has his suspicions about Sam and I. My father is no idjit. He can pick up on these things pretty quickly. As I said before he became suspicious when Sam and I were going out to dinner. Sam and I have gone to dinner before but it is usually to the diner or some fast food joint. I don't think staying out so late helped. That probably really got him worried. When Sam and I went out to dinner before we would be gone for about an hour. This time we were gone for over six hours.

I was really hoping tonight would be the night of Sam and I officially having sex, but my father had to spoil the moment of course. Sam made me feel so comfortable and I didn't feel pressured the entire time. I wanted it just as much as he wanted it. Maybe it's for the best that we didn't have sex. I don't even know if Sam had a condom with him. Even though we didn't end up having sex it was still a wonderful night. Sam and I both admitted that we love each other, which makes the night memorable on its own. Sam and I only have so many more days to have sex before he leaves for school. Maybe it would be better not to have sex before he leaves because that might make me miss him even more. However, I don't want Sam to end up hooking up with some other chick at school because I didn't put out. I don't think that would happen, but you never know.

Aug 13, 2001

My father has really been keeping a close eye on Sam and I. The other night Sam and I thought my father had gone off to bed and we started making out in the kitchen. We hadn't really planned on it, but we have both been fairly horny since our date last week. It hasn't helped that my father has been seeking Sam's help with researching a case. They have both been putting in long hours and not going to sleep until around four in the morning.

I was in the kitchen cleaning up when Sam came in to tell me that my father had gone up to bed and that he was going up too. I went to give him a kiss goodnight, but it lasted a little longer than we had anticipated. Sam started brushing his fingers along my stomach and back near the top of my pants. He then lifted me up on to the counter and I wrapped my legs around him while we continued kissing each other. Sam placed his hand under my shirt and was about to unhook my bra when we heard footsteps in the living room. We stopped everything and Sam helped me off the counter.

I went back to cleaning up and Sam sat down at the table in the kitchen. He had to cover up the boner he had. My father came into the kitchen and kept looking back and forth at Sam and I. He seemed a bit wary about what Sam and I was doing before he entered. He slowly went to the cabinet and grabbed a clean glass. He filled it up with water, but continued looking between Sam and I. I was just leaning against the counter and Sam was just sitting at the table. It's not like we were standing right next to each other with our hair a mess. My father finally said good night and went back up to his room. That was about when Sam and I called it a night. We have decided it would be for the best if we continue sleeping in separate rooms because we are both very horny and we don't want my father finding out about us. As much as we hate not sleeping in the same bed together it will be for the best. I do not want to have to deal with the wrath of my father.

Aug 16, 2001

Sam leaves for college in just about a week. I don't know what I am going to do with myself when he leaves. It is going to be back to just my father and I living in our house. We will have the occasional hunter pass through needing a place to stay for the night, but otherwise it will just be the two of us. I don't think Sam and I have really spent a day apart since he started living here for the summer. I can't believe I was against Sam staying here in the beginning. I didn't want him invading my space, but it has been the best summer so far. It would just take one more thing to back it even better, but I don't think Sam and I will ever get to have sex before he leaves. My father keeps interrupting one way or another. I swear he can tell when Sam is getting close to taking my virginity. It's like he has an alarm that goes off every time. The only way we are going to get past heavy petting is if we get a hotel room for the night and turn off our cells, but knowing my father he will find me somehow and break down the door.

Aug 21, 2001

Forty eight hours is all I have left with Sam before he leaves until Thanksgiving. I want to go with him so bad, but I can't I have to stay here and go to high school. We haven't really talked about him leaving. I don't think either one of us wants to think about it. He's packed away most of his things and his clothes. I've just sat there on his bed talking and thinking while he packs. There is a lot of hesitation in our conversations because neither one of us wants to bring up why he is packing.

Aug 22, 2001

Sam and I have finally talked about him leaving for college tomorrow. It started out as a calm conversation, then it turned into an argument, then it finally turned back into a calm conversation. It ended with us deciding to email and call one another. He said he would be here for major holidays because he has no where else to go. I'm still not very happy about him leaving, but there is nothing I can do about it. Tomorrow we leave for the airport around 8:15 in the morning. It looks like I'm going to end this summer a virgin.

Aug 27, 2001

Sam is officially gone and I am back at school. It hasn't been the same since Sam left. But since he's been gone I have been working on my hunting skills with my father. Sam hasn't even been gone for an entire week and I already feel like he has been gone for years. I do not like him being so far away from me. We've tried to get in contact with one another since he's been gone, but we have been playing the longest game of phone tag. I finally decided to email him. He hasn't responded back yet. I miss him a little too much. I've never been this way with a guy. Sam is the first guy I have ever loved, besides my father, but he doesn't count.

Sept 4, 2001

School is so lame. Everything they teach us there is useless. Why would I need to know the square root of something, I'm not going to be a mathematician. Frankly I don't see the point in going to school anymore. They don't teach kids how to shoot a gun or what materials you need to kill a vampire. Teenagers are too concerned with their appearance and who is dating whom. Nobody understands me at school. I'm the freak who sits in the corner at lunch by herself. I've complained to my father numerous times, but he keeps telling me that a good hunter needs a high school education.

Sam got back to me and it sounds like he is having a great time at school. He and his roommate, Brady, get along great. He says they hang out all the time together. He really likes being around people who had a normal childhood. However, it makes him a little angry with his father because he feels like his father basically ripped away his childhood. I could tell that this upset Sam and I really wanted to be there to consol him, but I am over 1500 miles away.

Sept 11, 2001

Today is a day that every American will remember. Two planes crashed into the World Trade Center, one plane crashed into the Pentagon, and another in an empty field in Pennsylvania. All day in school today we watched footage of the plane crash. By fourth period I got sick of hearing and seeing the footage. It's real sad what happened and I feel bad for the families who lost a loved one, but when you see the footage over and over again you become desensitized.

Sam called me as soon as I got home from school. He was making sure that I was all right. I told him of course I was, I live in South Dakota nowhere near New York City. He started to laugh because he didn't mean physically he meant emotionally. I just thought it was so sweet of him to call to see how I was feeling about all this. We talked for about three hours until his roommate yelled at him to get off the phone.

Nov 10, 2001

We've run into a problem for Thanksgiving. It seems my father has already made plans of inviting the Winchesters over, meaning John and Dean. My father told me I cannot tell Sam. He apparently has a plan to get the Winchesters talking to one another again. It is obvious to me that this plan is going to backfire. Both John and Sam are stubborn; it seems pointless to even try. But I promised my father I would not say a word to Sam.

Nov 18, 2001

Sam is back. His flight came in this morning. He is even taller now. He is also even hotter than I remember. It was so hard not to kiss him when I first saw him. We almost did, but we stopped just in time. Sam told me all about college and the friends he has made. He says he's happy there and I can tell. It has to be hard for him when people ask about his family. I asked him if he has spoken to his brother or father at all. He said no and that he doesn't plan to, if his father wants to speak with him he can call. Sam seemed pretty upset after that. I apologized for asking, but he said there was no need for me to apologize; it was he who should apologize. He then leaned over and gave me a kiss. I just wanted to tell him so badly that his family was coming to dinner Thursday, but I couldn't do it. I promised my father I wouldn't.

Nov 29, 2001

Well, my father's plan backfired like I thought. Sam and I were sitting in the living room talking while my dad was in the kitchen basting the turkey when John and Dean pulled up. I had to put my game face on. Sam was about to look out the window when my father called for him to come in the kitchen to help with the potatoes. Once I saw Sam was out of the room I bolted for the door.

When I stepped outside and shut the door Dean and John looked up confused. Both John and Dean wanted to get into the house. I told them my father was cooking quite a feast, but didn't want them to come in the house just yet. They asked where they were supposed to stay then until the meal was ready. It took me a few seconds to think of a place when I saw Sam through the window, he was looking outside, but he hadn't seen us yet. All of a sudden it came to me, the shed in the back. John and Dean looked bewildered when I took them to the shed and there was no place to sit. I told them that was my fault and that I would be right back with some chairs and some appetizers. I got back into the house and Sam was looking for me wondering where I had gone. I told him I had chores to do too. My father gave me some chairs, a bag of chips, and a jar of salsa.

When I got back out there John asked how things were going. At first I thought he was talking about dinner, but then I realized he meant in my life. I told him they were going fine. He said that after dinner we needed to talk in private. Dean's ears perked up at that. I told John we'll see and then asked if they wanted anything to drink. Dean responded right away with beer and John seconded. I ran into the house and found Sam sitting in the living room. I asked him why he was sitting there and not helping my father with dinner. He said he got kicked out. I suggested he watch the football game and that I would be right back.

An hour later my father was finally done making dinner. He told Sam and I to sit tight while he went to cut the turkey. That meant that he was going to get John and Dean out of the shed. I really didn't know what to say to Sam while we were sitting there. He kept trying to talk to me about stuff, but I wasn't really listening. I was waiting to see his reaction when his father and brother walked through the door. I heard the back door open and my father talking. I braced myself for what was about to come, but when John walked through the door and saw Sam he just stopped and stared.

The room went silent for what felt like eternity. John and Dean sat across the table from Sam and I. I looked over at Sam and saw that look in his eye. Finally my father came in and broke the silence. He brought the turkey out and started the feast. Still nobody touched the food. It was like a staring contest between Sam and his father. I couldn't take it anymore and said, "John, stop being stubborn and talk to your son!"

Everybody turned their stares to me. John finally asked Sam how school was going and if they had working telephones. That is when the fighting began. It was like watching a tennis match, Sam would say something, then John, then Sam, then John, and so on. Until Dean interjected and told them that was enough. Sam said he was right and stormed out. All four of us stood there in silence again. I couldn't take it anymore. I told John that he was a terrible father to Sam. Sam wanted him to be proud of him for getting into a school like Stanford. I told him he should be ashamed of himself and then left the room in search of Sam. I found Sam sitting on one of my father's beat up cars. I went and sat next to him, neither one said a word the entire time we sat there. It was most obvious what Sam was feeling; anyone could have picked up on it. After about ten minutes Dean came out to check on Sam. I decided I wasn't going to get in the middle of this so I left.

As I was walking back to the house I remembered that John wanted to talk to me. I had a feeling what it was about. When I walked into the house John was sitting at the kitchen table while my father was cleaning up.

John asked how Sam was, as if he cared. I told him he was upset, but he'll get over it. John went on to comment how close Sam and I are. I just told him that Sam is a very likeable guy. I decided it was time to change the subject. We started talking about the thing that killed my parents. John said that he is very close to figuring out what it is. He also asked me if I had had any more nightmares about the demon. I must have told him my answer with my facial expression because he asked what they were about. He told me not to be afraid and to just let him know because it could be important. I told him all about my dreams, from what the demon looked like to what he told me. He told me that what I had told him was very important for his research. He was about to tell me more, but Dean came back from talking to Sam. He said it was time to go. My father offered them the couch and the extra bedroom, but they declined. We all said good night to one another, everyone except Sam. Several minutes later Sam came back into the house and went straight to his room. My father was going to go talk to him, but I strongly advised he didn't. I wanted to go in and talk to him too, but stopped myself and went off to bed.

Nov 30, 2001

Well, my father knows now that Sam and I are together. Last night while I was sleeping Sam snuck into my room. He just came in to sleep with me. I was too tired to kick him out and after all that he went through I could understand why he would want the comfort and support of someone who loves him. My father just came into my room to drop off some of my things from downstairs when he noticed Sam in my bed or at least that is what he says. I woke up soon after that in Sam's arms. At first I was confused, but then I remembered that he came into my room.

The two of us just laid there enjoying each others company when we finally decided to go downstairs for breakfast. When we got to the kitchen my father was sitting at the table waiting for us. He was acting perfectly normal asking how I slept. Then he said to Sam how he must've had a good night sleep, but it might've been a better one in his own bed. We both looked at each other shocked and confused. My father went on to tell Sam and I about how if we are going to be together then there are going to be some rules. Rule #1: No sleeping in the same bed as one another. The other rules are unimportant. He told Sam that the biggest rule of all was no breaking his little girl's heart or he will break his legs. My father doesn't really need to worry though. Sam and I haven't even had sex yet. Also Sam goes back to school tomorrow, but he comes back three weeks later for an entire month.

Sam didn't say much today. He is still upset from yesterday. He's not mad at my father or I, he is angry with his own father. I asked him what Dean talked to him about, he just said he wanted to tell his father's side of the story and to ask Sam to reconsider joining them on their hunts. That is about the extent of our conversations for today. I let Sam brood.

Dec 6, 2001

Sam is back at school and so am I. Well I was back at school, but I got suspended for fighting. The other guy started it, but the principal doesn't care because I fought back. I wasn't going to let this kid continue calling my father a drunk who abuses his daughter. It was this terrible rumor that the kid made up after seeing all my bruises on my arms and legs from my training, which came in handy to kick that little pansy's ass. He just kept saying stuff so I went over to him and punched him. I told him that if he was going to spread rumors about someone he might want to choose someone who couldn't kick his ass. The principal called us each in separately. When I went in there the principal started by asking me about my home life. She said that from my file she sees that I live with my father who is unemployed and my mother is MIA. She then asked me how often my father gets drunk. I couldn't believe what she was asking me. Did she really think that Kevin was telling the truth? I told her that I have only seen my father really drunk once and that was after a really bad day at work. She asked me if my father ever hit me when he got really upset. That was where I drew the line. I stood up and told the principal that my father was the best father a girl could ask for and that he has never laid finger on me. She then asked me to show her my arms and legs then to prove it. I did as she asked knowing damn well where it was going. There on my arms and legs were my bruises. I told her I was learning self defense and you get bruised up. I could tell that she didn't believe a single word I said, but she moved on to my punishment for fighting. She told me I was suspended for five days. My father was furious when he got the phone call from school saying to pick me up. He said he was thankful that I stood up for him, but I didn't need to start a physical fight.

It has been three days since that fight happened. Sam is in agreement with my father, that I shouldn't have punched the guy. I don't really care; it felt so good. For the past three days my father has had me busy drawing this thing on the ceiling. I don't remember what it is called, but it is supposed to keep a demon from using its power while underneath it. I really hope this works. I have to draw it perfectly or else it will not work. If I mess this thing up my father will be so pissed.

Dec 10, 2001

Sam comes home next weekend. I just realized the other day that I need to get him something for Christmas. I asked him what he wanted, which I know is cheating, and he said nothing he will just be happy to be with me. How cheesy. I told him if he doesn't want anything then neither do I. He said that's too bad because he already got me something. Then he said he had to go.

So what do I get for Sam? I asked my father, but he was of no help to me. Sam isn't into fighting demons. He wants to be a lawyer and live as normal of a life he can. I don't know who else to ask for advice on what to get him.

Dec 14, 2001

Two more days until Sam comes home. I figured out what to get him. I had some help. I decided to call Dean to ask him what to get Sam. He told me that Sam always wanted a nice switchblade. At first it didn't sound like something Sam would like, but I asked my father if he thought it was a good idea. He said it was, but there was a problem I am too young to buy a switchblade. You have to be 18 to buy any sort of weaponry. I then begged my father to buy one for me. I would pay him back, but he said he wouldn't help me. I had to call Dean back again. I begged him to buy one for me and to have it shipped. I told him I would pay for all of it. He said he would buy one, but he won't ship it. Then he hung up. What did he mean he wasn't going to ship it?

Dec 19, 2001

Dean came over today to drop off Sam's gift. When I answered the door I was surprised to see him standing there. He gave me the box with the knife and then he waited for his money. I asked him what he was doing here. He just said that he was nearby on a hunt. I invited him in, but he declined. I told him Sam was here if he wanted to talk to him or just say hi, but he just said he really had to go. He wished me a Merry Christmas and then left. I realized shortly after that it was a good thing he left because Sam would have been confused as to why Dean was there. He might have thought we were going to have a round two of Thanksgiving.

I didn't think I would be so happy to see Sam when I picked him up from the airport. I went by myself to pick him up. My father had some stuff to get done around the house so I offered to pick him up. As soon as I saw Sam coming down the escalator I ran over so I could greet him right away. Once he was at the bottom he gave me a huge hug and kiss. He didn't check any bags so we were able leave pretty quickly.

It is much better having my father know that Sam and I are together. We don't have to sneak around as much. Sam can put his arm around me while we sit on the couch and we can kiss in front of my father. Although my father still gives us a look of disapproval when we kiss. He's not really giving the look to me, but more to Sam. I'm his little girl and I will always be his little girl. He knows Sam and knows he will never hurt me, but my father still gives him a hard time. Ever since my father found out he has been a little tougher on Sam. So I guess in a way it isn't better having him know. He also comes into my room every morning to make sure that Sam isn't in the bed with me. The first two times I woke up, but now I just sleep through it.

Dec 24, 2001

Sam and I got into a bit of trouble with my father this morning. Sam was going to surprise us both with breakfast. However, I had heard someone in the kitchen and couldn't fall back to sleep. I decided to check out who was in the kitchen when I found Sam. He was in the process of cooking bacon. I noticed the flour on the table behind him and he hadn't realized that I was in the kitchen yet. I picked up the bowl of flour and quietly snuck up behind Sam. He was so focused on cooking the bacon that he didn't hear me behind him.

I put my hand in the flour, grabbed a handful, and threw it in his face. He was so startled by what happened. He stood there for about ten seconds before he moved. He turned towards me and grabbed the bowl out of my hands. I thought he was just going to set it down, but I was wrong. He picked up some of the flour and threw it back in my face.

We both stood there staring at each other until I ran for the cabinet that had the flour bucket so I could have some ammo. I grabbed the bucket and we started throwing flour at each other. Sam eventually ran out and tried to take the bucket from me. I wasn't going to let him win, but he eventually hit the bucket out of my hands. There was flour all over the floor, which made it pretty slippery. Sam tried to get me to fall on the floor, but I was holding on to the counter for balance. I made my way to the faucet and grabbed the hose connected to it. I turned on the water and started spraying Sam with it.

Sam was making his way towards me when my father walked into the kitchen asking what we thought we were doing. I hadn't really looked at the mess we had made, but it was pretty bad. I turned off the water and put the hose back in the sink. My father was pretty upset. He told us to clean up the kitchen and then went up to his room. We cleaned up the kitchen pretty quickly, but Sam and I were laughing about what had happened the entire time. It was a lot of fun and even cleaning up afterwards was fun. I knew we wouldn't be able to do it again because my father would get really upset with us.

Dec 25, 2001

Merry Christmas!

Sam loved his gift. My father was a little shocked when he saw that I had gotten him the knife. He probably didn't think that I would find a way to get one. My father gave me some books on ghosts and legends. These aren't just books you can find at any bookstore. These are some pretty rare books and I plan to read each one paying close attention to what they tell me.

My best gift was from Sam. He must've searched everywhere for this gift. At first I wasn't sure what it was until Sam explained it. I thought he had just gotten me a nice picture frame, not realizing what it was a picture of. That picture in the frame was of my biological parents. They look to be in their twenties in this picture. I asked him where he found the picture, but he just said he has his sources. I really want to know how he found it.

I stared at the picture for a good, long minute until Sam finally asked if I liked it. I was at a lose for words. Next thing I knew I was crying. I couldn't believe I was crying over a gift. Sam took it the wrong way at first and started apologizing. I stopped him and told him I loved it. It was the best gift ever.

My father picked it up and looked at it for a while. I don't think he had ever seen my real parents before either. Sam says I have my mother's eyes and my father's smile. He said that once he saw the picture there was no doubt in his mind that they were my parents. My mother was so gorgeous and my father wasn't bad looking either.

It is going to be bothering me for a while where Sam got that picture of my parents. John said there were no pictures left. He had checked so that I could have a picture of my parents, but there were none.