Disclaimer: Veronica Mars and all it's characters and situations are property of Rob Thomas and UPN/The CW. I do not own anything and will not make any profit from this story.
A/N: The title and summary come from the song "Apologies" by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals. Listen to it while reading is highly recommended.
A/N: Takes place during the summer after their first year at Hearst. Logan and Veronica are back together, obviously.
A/N: The catalyst for this fic was a line in Home And Away (I want you to tell me how I'm supposed to live the rest of my life without you), but a really old episode, the one after Flynn tells Sally he has cancer. I do not own Home And Away. But I wish I did, I wouldn't let Kate Ritchie leave. xD
He heard the door of his suite open and slam shut and he knew. He instinctively knew that she knew. She must've run into Dick. Or Mac. The former's girlfriend had probably told her.
Her legs brought her in front of him way too fast.
"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this isn't a booty call." Logan offered meekly.
"What! The! Hell?! Logan!" She yelled. He was actually glad the dam had broken. Her yelling at him was a lot easier to process than her being mad but not saying anything. It was even worse when he knew she was mad.
"Veronica, I can explain." She mimicked Logan. "Explain to me why my boyfriend has a tendency to do stupid things with his friend, who, I might add comes up with the stupid ideas all by himself. Be glad you're not in jail, Logan." She was staring him down and he stood up. But despite the height different he still withered under her glare.
"We just wanted to have some fun. It was a cheap thrill, nothing more."
"A cheap thrill? Logan, racing at breakneck speed is not a cheap thrill!"
"I don't get what's so wrong with us just having a bit of fun."
"A bit of fun? A bit of fun?! What's so wrong is that you could die from this little bit of fun!"
She spat out the last four words as if they were foul swear words.
"No, don't. What if you had died? Huh, Logan? What was I supposed to do if Mac had called me saying my boyfriend and hers were both lying in the morgue instead of that she had to pick them up from the Sheriff's Department? Huh? Tell me that."
She was slowly losing her cool, her patience and her strength.
"Veron-" Logan tried again.
"No! I want you to tell me how I'm supposed to live the rest of my life without you." She looked him directly in the eye.
"Logan, you are the one thing I can't afford to not be selfish about. The only reason I don't lock you in your suite 24/7 is because I trust that you won't go do stupid things like racing."
Logan looked at his shoes. He suddenly felt really, really guilty.
Veronica's voice started to crack a bit.
"Did you even think about me? What I would do without you? And I know, it sounds selfish. I know it. But... Lilly left me, my mom left me, Duncan's gone, and I mean him as a friend. Even Wallace left at one point. Besides my dad, you are the only constant in my life. And if you're gone, I have nothing to live for anymore, Logan. And that's why, just this once, I need to be selfish and boring and not a thrill seeker and try my best to protect you."
"Veronica..." He knew exactly how she felt. That's why he had hired that guy to shadow her during the Hearst rapes. But he'd already told her that.
"Just... Can you go seek your thrills in like, a strip tent or something next time? Something where you might not potentially die, maybe."
"You know, if it were you and Mac, I would've given you the exact same speech. Well, except for the people who left me, that list's a little longer than yours." He said softly.
"Oh, and no strippers for you." That elicited a small smile from Veronica.
He opened his arms and pulled her into a hug.
"Are we okay?" He asked her.
"Yeah, we're okay."
And then she added, "I love you." Logan smiled into her hair. She'd finally managed to say it. Well, one good thing came from this whole debacle.
"I love you." He replied.
Neither of them ever added a 'too'. Said it gave them the feeling that they were saying it out of obligation.
Which they weren't.
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