Crisscross

Part I

From: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

To: weasellyweaselgirl5(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Tuesday 10/7/08 3:13 pm EST

Subject: No More

I never, ever, EVER want to know those details of your life again. Never. I don't care what you and your latest victim do. I love you, Misao, but are you familiar with the phrase "TMI"? Because you embody it.

Kaoru

From: bakadeshi666(atmarkodotcom)

To: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Wednesday 10/8/08 5:55 am EST

Subject: Re: No More

Who are you, what are you talking about, and how did you get my email address?

-bokkenprincess44 wrote on 10/7/08 3:13 pm EST:

I never, ever, EVER want to know those details of your life again. Never. I don't care what you and your latest victim do. I love you, Misao, but are you familiar with the phrase "TMI"? Because you embody it.

Kaoru

From: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

To: bakadeshi666(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Wednesday 10/8/08 4:02 pm EST

Subject: Re: Re: No More

...uh, what?

I send an email to a friend and a stranger emails me back. There must be some kind of technological mix-up here; I don't know you, and I definitely didn't email you. Sorry for the confusion. Hopefully it won't happen again.

Kaoru

From: weasellyweaselgirl5(atmarkodotcom)

To: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Thursday 10/16/08 4:57 am EST

Subject: Finally!

I met this guy at work today, and he'd be perfect for you! I just know you two would hit it off! I got him talking about dating, and he said he's looking for someone, so I gave him your number and told him to call you for a date. When he does, CALL ME so we can go shopping and stuff!

Misao

From: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

To: weasellyweaselgirl5(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Thursday 10/16/08 9:15 pm EST

Subject: Re: Finally

No. This guy called me. I turned him down. He tried again. I rejected him. He freaked and called me some less-than-pleasant names. I hope you are happy. Stop setting me up; it annoys me. And you say my temper is bad? The guy couldn't even handle a simple "no"! Are we still going out on Friday?

Kaoru

P.S. Call me!

From: bakadeshi666(atmarkodotcom)

To: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Friday 10/17/08 6: 27 pm EST

Subject: It happened again.

Unfortunately, it seems whatever happened last time repeats itself. Being set up by friends is in general a bad idea, since if you and your friends are opposites, your taste in dates is also opposite. I hope you called him less-than-pleasant names in return. Is your temper bad? It doesn't come across as so via email.

By the way, my name is Kenshin.

From: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

To: bakadeshi666(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Saturday 10/18/08 11:44 pm EST

Subject: Re: It happened again.

Misao and I went out last night. I agree with your comment on being set up by friends- she tried it repeatedly last night. After knocking unconscious two of them and breaking several's wandering fingers, she gave up. You can make your own opinions on my temper. Also, I called the people in charge of email errors, and they say that they can't fix the problem. I'll have to be more careful about what I put in an email.

You are a guy, right?

Kaoru

From: bakadeshi666(atmarkodotcom)

To: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Sunday 10/19/08 5:11 pm EST

Subject: None

We're stuck with each other, than? It could be worse. Yes, I am a man, and presumably you are a girl. I could be wrong, so confirm that for me, please. Your temper is bad. I feel sorry for your friends, but not for the people she sets you up with- they should know better, and if they don't, they deserve what they get. Stupid people irritate me.

Kenshin

From: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

To: weasellyweaselgirl5(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Monday 10/20/08 6:09 am EST

Subject: Email is strange.

I don't think I've mentioned this to you before, but there's some kind of glitch in my email, and everything I send to you (I don't haven't emailed anyone else in months so once I do we'll see if it only affects other people's messages) also gets sent to this guy named Kenshin. I don't know him personally, and I am not giving you his email address so you can make evil plots against me, but he seems okay. Not like a stalker or anything.

So be careful what you email me about! And Kenshin, I am a girl. So is Misao.

Kaoru

From: bakadeshi666(atmarkodotcom)

To: bokkenprincess44(atamrkodotcom)

Date: Monday 10/20/08 3:57 pm EST

Subject: Stalker.

I'm glad to hear I am not a stalker. Also glad to hear you think I am "okay". Evil plots? What kind of evil plots would your friend involve me in? Both of you, as I had guessed are women. That makes me glad that you're taking care in what you write- some things just shouldn't be known to the opposite sex. Are you full-blooded Japanese?

Kenshin

From: bakadeshi666(atmarkodotcom)

To: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Monday 10/20/08 4:26 pm EST

Subject: Re: Email is strange.

When you fall madly in love and need my help, see if I help you!

Misao

From: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

To: weasellyweaselgirl5(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Tuesday 10/21/08 5:38 pm EST

Subject: Right.

What are the odds of that happening? Fall in love? You are crazy. What are our plans for Halloween?

Kaoru

From: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

To: bakadeshi666

Date: Tuesday 10/21/08 5:42 pm EST

Subject: Re: Stalker.

As a matter of fact, yes, I am full-blooded Japanese. I speak the language, I used to spend my summers there, I have family, my parent immigrated as children together...you get the picture. I guess you could tell if you looked at me...what about you? Do you look Japanese? Are you Japanese? Why is your email address "stupid pupil"?

Kaoru

From: bakadeshi666(atmarkodotcom)

To: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Wednesday 10/22/08 7:21 am EST

Subject: Hit a nerve.

Yes, I am full-blooded Japanese. As in, everyone was born and raised in Japan, with no foreign blood entering the family. They all had brown eyes and dark hair. No one who sees me believes me on this, because I don't look even the tiniest bit Asian. As in red hair and oddly colored eyes. If I go anyone, ninety percent of the conversations people start with me will be, "Is your hair real?" Then, when I tell them my name, "Are you really Asian?" You can see why this might be annoying.

At least, since you can't see me, you can't question my heritage.

Kenshin

Four Months Later

From: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

To: bakadeshi666(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Sunday 2/8/09 8:30 am EST

Subject: Has it been this long already?

I looked at the calendar and realized we've been emailing each other for four whole months. Wow. We need to move forward! Or at least start instant messaging each other. This long email thing is getting to be more like therapy than meaningful conversation.

Anyway, Valentine's is coming up (shudder) so Misao is a) trying to snag her man and b) trying to snag me a man, or convince me to snag someone, or whatever. Ugh. The fox-doctor is going out with her rooster-head boyfriend. Things are quite good, really, except for the fact Misao won't let well alone. Or let me dress in all black on Valentine's day. On the bright side- and don't tell, Misao doesn't know yet- but I have to be in Cornville that day anyways. For work and stuff. So no one can set me up! Muahahaha! I get to escape my EVIL boss, my annoying little brother, and just relax all day. The job stuff lasts an hour in the morning, but I plan to spend the whole day enjoying Cornville's...corn.

What about you? What are your plans for the day of love? Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Alone with ice cream/beer? You never talk about yourself in detail, so I have no idea. Also, I've been meaning to ask: did you lose that bet and cut your hair? Is it all short now? I'm still waiting on a picture; I feel weird spilling all this to a faceless stranger.

Kaoru

From: bakadeshi666(atmarkodotcom)

To: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Sunday 2/8/09 9:45 pm EST

Subject: Yes, it has.

IM? I don't have IM. Nothing wrong with therapy every now and again. Cornville is as boring as can be- you'd be better off with Misao. At least it would be entertaining. And there is no corn in Cornville- go figure. The soil is over-farmed to the point of no return. What's wrong with your boss?

I plan to spend Valentine's Day alone, in my office, catching up on work without the new recruits around to bother me. If I get tired of that, I'll go home and polish my swords...or something. My friends all have significant others or are being kidnapped by people who think they are their significant others. I haven't been photographed for the last three years, so I haven't got a picture. I won the bet- he does spend time arranging those bangs in front of his face for maximum intimidation.

Below is one of those chain letter questionnaires. I filled it out and thought you might enjoy it. Send it back.

1. What is your occupation? Not sure.

2. What color are your socks right now? Black.

3. What are you listening to right now? The sound of cars passing by on the street.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Leftover stir-fry.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? They were taller than me.

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Depends on how much money he owes me at the time.

8. How old are you today? Can't remember.

9. What is your favorite sport to watch? I don't watch sports.

10. What is your favorite drink? Water.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Despite what people tell you, no.

12. Favorite food? Don't have one.

13. What was the last movie you watched? ...never watch movies with your less-than-respectable friends.

14. Favorite day of the year? None.

15. How do you vent anger? Fear.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? A top.

17. What is your favorite season? Summer.

18. Hugs or Kisses? Neither.

19. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries.

20. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Yes.

21. Who is the most likely to respond? I sent this to one person.

22. Who is least likely to respond? I sent this to one person.

23. Living arrangements? Residential.

24. When was the last time you cried? Three weeks, two months, and one day ago.

25. What is on the floor of your closet? Nothing.

26. Who is the friend you have had the longest you are sending this to? I sent this to one person.

27. What did you do last night? Work. Sleep. Work. Eat. Work.

28. Favorite smells? White plum. Water.

29. What inspires you? Nothing.

30. What are you most afraid of? Forgetting.

31. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese.

32. Favorite dog breed? None.

33. Favorite day of the week? I work all week, so the days blend into each other.

34. How many states have you lived in? Depends on your definition of live.

From: bokkenprincess44(atmarkodotcom)

To: weasellyweaselgirl5(atmarkodotcom)

Date: Sunday 2/15/09 11:06 pm EST

Subject: Worst Valentine's Day ever!

God. God. God, yesterday sucked horribly.

Started with having to travel with my BOSS and his BROTHER to Cornville. We "accidentally" all ended in one hotel room. With one bed. Do you see where this is going? Then I spent two hours in boring meetings with both of them trying to grab my legs under the table. They failed, but it wasn't for lack of trying, let me tell you. I thought once I escaped for lunch, it would be okay, but I had an allergic reaction to a pesticide and my tongue swelled up. I almost died. I couldn't talk for hours. I was trapped with my boss and his brother in that hotel room, mute, while they hit on me and took my silence as encouragement. Finally I hid in the laundry room and then girl's restroom until morning, when I snuck a shower, changed, and packed, took an early flight home. (I also arranged for both of the idiots to go home economy while I went first class.) Finally, I get home, it's late. My luggage? Yeah, I get it back tomorrow. Thankfully I don't have to see the boss or his brother for another few months. God. God, everything sucks right now, I need sugar.

Kenshin, your answers were cryptic and made me hateful and angry. Just what I need right now, eh? If you're such a workaholic, how come you have time to email me? And take a picture if you haven't got one, dammit! You have swords- do you collect or can you use them? What kind of swords? Write back so I can vent some more!

Misao, I need ice cream very badly. Can I borrow your chocolate chip? See you on Tuesday- the fox is having a dinner party.

Kenshin

1. What is your occupation? I...I do stuff. Sorry, Kenshin, but you are a stranger...

2. What color are your socks right now? White, with kitten on them.

3. What are you listening to right now? The sound of my head pounding.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? TV dinner.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? I called in takeout on the fourteenth.

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes.

8. How old are you today? See answer to 1.

9. What is your favorite sport to watch? I don't watch sports, either.

10. What is your favorite drink? Coffee. Misao, you cannot steal my coffee ever again. Okay?

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? No, and Misao dying it for me does not count.

12. Favorite food? ...too many to list here.

13. What was the last movie you watched? National Treasure.

14. Favorite day of the year? Birthday! Cake! Happiness!

15. How do you vent anger? I hit people, I scream, I hit more people...

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? My miniature wooden sword.

17. What is your favorite season? Summer, when it's nice and warm.

18. Hugs or Kisses? ...Cannot answer this question due to Misao's overactive imagination.

19. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries.

20. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Yes.

21. Who is the most likely to respond? Misao- she loves chain letters.

22. Who is least likely to respond? Kenshin because he sent it to me.

23. Living arrangements? I live alone.

24. When was the last time you cried? Don't remember.

25. What is on the floor of your closet? Everything and the kitchen sink.

26. Who is the friend you have had the longest you are sending this to? Misao.

27. What did you do last night? I hid in a restroom and a laundry room.

28. Favorite smells? Don't know. I wear jasmine perfume a lot.

29. What inspires you? Food.

30. What are you most afraid of? Bugs.

31. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Spicy.

32. Favorite dog breed? None.

33. Favorite day of the week? Friday! Woo-hoo!

34. How many states have you lived in? Three.