Disclaimer: "The L word" and its characters don't belong to me. They are property of their respective producers Ilene Chaiken and the broadcasting company Showtime.

TV guide

Dana Fairbanks let out a frustrated sigh and let her pencil fall onto the table.

"Stupid Sudoku," she muttered under her breath, closed the Sudoku book and pushed the annoying item away from her.

Doing Sudokus usually wasn't a problem for the tennis star, but today, for some reason, she couldn't will her thoughts to focus on the numbers. With another frustrated sigh escaping her lips, Dana leaned back in her chair and let her eyes roam across the living room.

"Hey, whatcha reading?" she asked upon spotting her girlfriend, Lara Perkins, on the couch with her nose --upon which her black horn-rimmed reading glasses sat-- buried in some magazine.

But the other woman seemed to not have heard the question.

Amused, Dana shook her head and got up from her seat, strolling over to where Lara lay. Looking down at her bespectacled girlfriend, she couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, Perkins, I asked you a question," she said, poking Lara's side.

"Hmm," Lara mumbled absent-mindedly and glanced up briefly, before returning her attention to the magazine.

Dana groaned at Lara's apparent lack of attention and decided to do something about it. Without further warning she snatched the magazine from Lara's hands.

"Hey! I was reading this, you know," Lara protested.

Dana nodded. "So I've noticed." She started studying the magazine. "I'm disappointed, Lara," she said upon seeing what Lara had been reading.

"What?" Lara was confused. "Why?"

"Well, for starters," Dana began, making a grand show of dropping the now closed magazine onto the coffee table. "It seems that the TV guide is more interesting to you than I."

Lara frowned, sitting up. "What the hell makes you say that, Dana? I was just looking whether there'll be something worth watching on TV tonight."

Dana raised her brows, throwing her girlfriend a scrutinizing look.

"Oh, c'mon, Dana. You can't be seriously mad about that," Lara said, the starting irritation obvious in her voice.

Dana inwardly smiled, while trying to keep her expression as neutral as possible. "I'm not," she stated calmly.

Now it was Lara's turn to groan. "Well, then, what is it?"

The sides of Dana's mouth curled into a smile. "Nothing."

"You're weird." With a low groan Lara let herself drop back onto the couch and was apparently trying to ignore her girlfriend.

"Guess what, I already knew that."

"Well, in that case, hand me the TV guide again," Lara requested, but Dana just shook her head. "Fine, I'll get it myself." With that she started reaching for the abandoned magazine on the coffee table, but Dana swatted her hand away.

"Don't you dare, Lara," Dana warned. "Is that thing really that much more interesting than your lover?" she asked, drawling out the last word.

"Yeah, well, it's certainly not acting as strange as my lover is right now," Lara answered, imitating Dana's drawl while crossing her arms behind her head.

Dana nodded and, without giving any fruther warning, she straddled her girlfriend's hips. She wriggled around a little to get as comfortable as possible and smiled down at Lara, who was sporting a frown. "You know," Dana began, tapping Lara on the chest with her right index finger. "I was just trying to get your attention."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes." Dana nodded.

Lara's lips curled into a small smile. "Now that my attention's all yours, what do you intend to do with it?"

"Well, let's see," Dana rubbed her chin, pretending to be deep in thought. She took her time roaming her lover's body with her eyes.

"Thought of anything yet?" Lara asked with a sweet smile.

Dana's eyes brightened as she nodded.

"Care to tell me about it?"

Dana nodded again and held out her hands. "Your hands, love."

Following her lover's request, Lara placed her hands into Dana's smaller, slightly callused ones.

"Thank you," Dana said and caressed the offered hands for a little while, before placing them on her buttocks.

Lara's mouth curled into a decidedly lecherous grin. "I see," she said, gripping the firm buttocks. "We were having dirty thoughts, weren't we, Miss Dana?"

Although she had to admit that she was definitely enjoying her lover's hands on her body, having sex with her was not what she had thought of. "Actually, no."

Lara's face fell. "No?"

Dana chuckled, shaking her head. "No."

"Then what did ya have on your mind?"

Dana flashed a toothy smile, while rubbing her chin again, once again pretending to be deep in thought.

"Oh, cut it out, Dana," Lara said, giving Dana's buttocks a good squeeze. "I know your not really thinking right now."

The squeeze came totally unexpected and caused Dana to yelp. She shot Lara a dirty look and slapped the now offending hands, trying to get them off her behind. "Let go."

Lara shook her head. "No, you tell me what you had on your mind first."

Dana slapped the hands again. "C'mon, let go."


Once again Lara's hands squeezed her behind and once again Dana couldn't help but yelp. "Please, Lara," she pleaded, sporting puppy dog eyes, but Lara would have none of it.


Another squeeze followed the words and Dana decided to give in. "Fine, you win."

Lara grinned in triumph and released Dana's firm behind. "Do tell."

"Well, I just hope that I'm a hell of a lot more interesting to you than any TV guide in the world," Dana said, sporting a goofy grin.

Lara raised her eyebrows. "Are you kidding? You are, by far, the most interesting thing there could ever be," she answered and, as if to prove her point, grabbed Dana by the front of her t-shirt, pulling her close.

Expecting a kiss, Dana closed her eyes and waited, but no kiss came. About to open her eyes again, she jumped in surprise when suddenly teeth bit down on her earlobe.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, pulling herself into her former upright position again.

Lara chuckled lowly and her eyes sparkled with mischief. "Okay, now that we've established that you hold a hell of a lot more interest to me than anything else in the world, could you please hand me the TV guide, coz, you know, I wasn't finished with that yet."

Pulling a face, Dana reluctantly reached for the abandoned TV guide and dropped it, rather unceremoniously, onto Lara's chest. "There you go."

Lara nodded her thanks and proceeded to open the TV guide.

Dana couldn't help but chuckle and decided to go back to her Sudoku for a while, at least for as long as Lara would need to decide what they'd be watching --if anything at all-- that night. "You're an idiot, you know that?" She teased, giving Lara's flat stomach an affectionate pat.

Lara looked up from the TV guide. "Yeah, but I'm still lovable."

Dana nodded at that. "Yeah, the most lovable idiot I know."