Author's note: I would like to thank my friends who edited this for me, and apologize to two of them for not using their ideas. It would have ruined the story! And thank my other friend for letting me use her computer because mine is a stupid possessed piece of crap. This is my first story on fanfic, so please be nice. (there are no pairings, just a flirtatious Larxene)
I don't own anything except the random idea that this sprang from.
Demyx was bored.
"I'm bored." he announced.
"I'm with you, Dem." Axel replied from the corner. "There's been nothing to do all week."
Roxas sighed "It's times like this that almost make you wish the Superior would give us a mission."
Now, one would think that in a secret evil organization of heartless, unfeeling beings, it would be impossible to get bored. This is untrue. As the three Nobodies sat together in the rec room of the Castle that Never Was, they each individually wondered why feeling nothing did not include boredom. Maybe they'd ask Vexen one day…
It was then that Axel jumped up.
"I've got it!"
IX and XIII looked up in surprise.
"I've figured out the solution to our boredom. What's tomorrow's date?"
"Um…" Roxas said, thinking about it. "April 1, why-" he stopped, a slow evil grin spreading across his face. "Oh."
"I don't get it."
"April Fools, Demyx. April Fools." Axel said excitedly.
"Oh…but, Axel, the Superior banned April Fools three years ago."
"Why?" Roxas asked curiously.
"I…" Axel hesitated.
"He set Marluxia's hair on fire."
Roxas nearly fell over laughing as his best friend stuttered to explain himself.
"It was an accident!" VIII exclaimed "I was aiming for Saix."
"The point," Demyx said over Roxas's guffaws, "Is that we can't do it."
But, Axel only smiled conspiratorially.
"What Xemnas doesn't know, can't hurt him.
A job well done, Number XII. Larxene thought as she walked down the hall. Zexion's face would be red for a week. All she needed now was a victim for tomorrow. Flirtation was a girl's only form of entertainment in this dull white castle, and Larxene took full advantage of her feminine charm. Larxene stopped at the door to her room, her musings interrupted. On her door was taped a letter.
Dear, Fellow Organization Members:
Due to rising restrictions imposed by our all knowing Superior, boredom abounds. By way of example: Zexion, after exhausting the library, has resorted to reading Marly's gushy romance novels, Lexaeus was heard to speak a full paragraph last week, and yesterday, Larxene smacked Axel's butt. (Seriously, Larx, you're taking it a bit too far.)
Larxene smirked. That had actually been very amusing. The pyro's face had turned the same color as his hair.
So, we suggest a solution. Tomorrow is April Fools. An organized prank battle will commence. Please inform Roxas if you are planning on participating. Due to the unfortunate event three years ago, it would probably be best if the Superior did not know.
VIII IX XIII
Trust Axel, Roxas, and Demyx to come up with something like this…however, it could be entertaining. Larxene walked into her room, thinking. This might be worth it.
Axel looked at his best friend sympathetically. Poor kid. Larxene had just left and he was shaking. She hadn't even tried, but Roxas, who was bad enough around quiet Namine, nearly fainted. Axel shook his head. It was a good thing that there weren't more girls in the World that Never Was, because Roxas had no skill with them whatsoever.
"That's the last of them." Roxas said in an unsteady voice.
"What's the turnout?" Demyx asked, walking into the room, sitar in hand.
Axel looked down at the paper Roxas was holding.
"All in all, we did pretty good." he said "Xigbar, and Xaldin are in. Vexen kindly dropped by to inform us that he and Lexaeus will not be participating. Surprisingly though, Zexion will be. Saix," Axel continued, an evil smile playing at his lips, "Is in, Luxord and Marluxia are not, Larxene is, and of course, there is the three of us."
"Not bad." Roxas said, handing Demyx the list. "Eight out of twelve."
"Only one request." Axel said "I want to take Saix out." Roxas and Demyx nodded. Fair enough. No doubt, Saix was saying the same thing about Axel, where ever he was.
It was late, and the three Nobodies went to bed. Tomorrow was a big day.
After an overly normal breakfast, Xemnas locked himself in his room to maliciously plot taking over Kingdom Hearts. Once the coast was clear, the other twelve Organization members hurried to the rec room where everything was set up.
"Okay, everyone." Axel said, "Here's the rules. No 'Look, there's a monkey behind you' pranks, only the real stuff. Anything else goes. You get pranked, you're out. If your prank makes a mess, you clean it up. Last one standing wins. Aaaaaaaaaaand…" Axel paused suspensefully, "GO!!"
Instead of a flurry of movement, however, the contestants stared at each other suspiciously before settling down to wait for the first move.
A more than slightly awkward silence followed and Roxas began to wonder how silences can be awkward when you can't feel anything. For that matter…it should be impossible to feel embarrassed too. So, how the heck did Larxene…Roxas shook his head. It wasn't worth getting a head ache over. He retuned to polishing Oathkeeper.
Vexen turned to Marluxia.
"So," he said "Why are you not participating?"
"I like my hair the way it is." Number XI replied testily, causing Demyx and Roxas to giggle. "You?" he continued loudly over them.
"Lexaeus and I are observing the results of this ridicules competition. Zexion was going to join us, but decided that he would rather participate instead." Vexen shook his head as if he couldn't understand why anyone would rather play pranks than observe them. He turned to Luxord.
"I'm here for the sport." the Brit replied. "I never miss an opportunity to gamble. Anyone want to make a bet?"
"500 munny, Axel wins." Marluxia said, feeling his long pink hair as it to check that it was still there.
"I'll match that." Luxord replied "Saix will win."
"Xaldin." Vexen insisted after studying the participants.
"10,000 munny." a voice said from the corner.
"What?" They all asked, turning toward it.
"10,000 munny, I win." Zexion repeated, his nose in a book. His remark was met with an outburst of maniac laughter. Axel stood up.
"Zexion, I bet you 15,000 munny that you don't win." he said "but, that won't be a problem, because I'm going to win."
"Axel," Roxas muttered to him "you don't have that type of munny."
"I don't, but added to yours…"
"Trust me, Rox." Axel said, "Zexion's not good at anything that's not in a book." Axel walked away.
"He seems pretty confident to me." Roxas grumped, turning his attention back to his polishing. (This time it was Oblivion.) "You'd better not waste my munny."
Xigbar felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned to see Demyx.
"Isn't anyone going to make a bet on me?"
"Nah." Xigbar replied. Demyx's face fell slightly. "but, don't worry, my wet friend. No one bet on me, Roxas, or Larxene either."
"Yeah." Demyx said suddenly perking up. "we'll show them, huh?" Their conversation was interrupted as Saix and Axel began a diss battle.
"There's not much pranking going on in this prank war, is there?" Xaldin muttered to Xigbar as Saix yelled something about moonlight conquering all.
It was about then that Marluxia decided he wanted some water. He stood up, walking to the sink.
"Marly, no!!" Demyx yelled as Marluxia pulled the tap up, water spraying all down his front.
"Demyx, you idiot!" XI yelled as Demyx slid up sheepishly and removed the rubber band from the spray nozzle.
"I tried to warn you!"
The irony. Axel thought. The first prank of the day doesn't even count.
Demyx sat back for the lecture of his life, as Larxene stood up and walked across the room.
"Hi, Zexy." She said, sitting on the table Zexion was reading at.
Larxene reached down, fingering his chin.
"Oh, you're so distant, saying numbers all the time." She tipped his face upward, staring into his grey eyes, noting happily that he tried to look away. "You need to loosen up."
The book slammed shut, nearly catching her fingers.
"Larxene," Zexion said, staring coldly back at her. "I was your target yesterday. Why don't you bother Axel, or Xigbar, or someone. Anyone other than me."
"Aw, Zexion," Larxene said, leaning backward, arms crossed. "I'm just bored. You were the only one who wasn't holding a conversation, so I thought I'd help."
"What about Roxas?" Zexion asked, motioning to the Keyblade wielder, who was now watching his best friend argue with a bored look on his face.
"He's a little young, don't you think?" Larxene replied. "And, besides, he's just too easy. I just walk by, and the poor thing starts blushing." She paused flirtatiously "Come on, Zexy. One kiss, just to pass the time?"
Zexion sighed. This had better be worth it. He thought as he nodded slowly.
They stood, facing each other for a moment, and then, their lips connected.
Immediately, all eyes faced them. Axel and Saix even stopped fighting, in favor of watching the two Nobodies kiss. Larxene distinctly enjoyed the attention, but only one thought was going through Zexion's head. This had better be worth it.
When they broke away, they were standing in the center of the room. Somewhere during the duration of the kiss, they had migrated. Larxene gasped for breath. It's like trying to make out with a vacuum. She thought. Larxene noticed that Zexion's hand was moving, inching slowly toward a button. Hey, she realized, doesn't that button open the trap--
The floor dropped out from under Larxene's feet as the trap door fell open.
"April Fools, Larxene." Zexion yelled after her. "You're out." In the distance, deep below the castle, there was a splash as Larxene landed in the old lake.
Zexion looked very pleased with himself as he turned back to the others. Take that, Axel. There was just one problem…
"The rules are that you have to clean up your own messes." Axel said "I'm sorry, Zex, but you have to go get her."
An enraged bellow sounded through the open trap door, and Zexion looked appropriately nervous. He looked around for help. Even Axel looked somewhat sympathetic, but no one looked ready to jump up and go fetch the Savage Nymph.
As Zexion walked out of the room, Luxord turned to Vexen.
"300 munny, he doesn't come back."
"I have to go to the bathroom." Xaldin grunted, standing up.
"Thanks for telling us." Marluxia snapped, rolling his eyes. The tap mishap had put him in a bad mood.
As Xaldin walked out of the room, Xigbar noticed Roxas struggling to keep from laughing. Wonder what he's up to…Xigbar thought. The answer came quite quickly.
The enraged cry came from the bathroom. Roxas burst into a fit of helpless laughter.
"What did you do?" Demyx asked.
"Plastic wrap…" Roxas gasped in between giggles "On the toilet…big mess…Xaldin's out."
"You know, you're going to have to clean that up." Vexen said, wrinkling his nose, as Xaldin stalked in and grumpily sat himself with the other non-participants. Roxas could only nod. And who could blame him? Have you ever tried talking when you can't stop laughing?
Larxene stalked in, soaking wet, and sat herself next to Xaldin.
"Where's VI?" Vexen asked.
"Larxene," Demyx said, rolling his eyes "You can't do that. You aren't in."
"It doesn't matter." Larxene replied vengefully. "He won't be playing anymore. That means he's out."
The other Nobodies considered this for a while. She was right. The silence was broken by Luxord over to Vexen, muttering,
"You owe me."
The next two went rather quickly, Xigbar getting Demyx's bucket of water to the head, after which, Demyx promptly got a pie to the face from Saix.
Roxas, sadly, was the next to go. Saix had pulled his chair out from under him.
That's it. Axel thought as his best friend's butt hit the floor. Saix is going down.
The two enemies glared at each other, as Roxas joined the line of losers. It didn't bother him too much, being out. Axel had wanted to be the one to take Saix out anyway.
"This is it, Saix." Axel taunted. "You might as well give up now."
"Hah," Saix laughed. "You haven't done one prank yet, Axel, and you expect me to just give up?"
"You're going to lose, Saix. L - O - S - E." Axel smirked, pointing to his head. "Got it memorized?"
Growling, Saix charged, and it looked like this prank battle was going to turn into a regular battle, But, then, Axel calmly stepped to the side and stuck out his foot. Saix, who was going too fast to correct his path, tripped over it and flew into the wall.
"What do you say?" Axel asked the crowd. "Does that count?" Judging by the cheers, the answer was yes. "I guess that means I win." Axel walked triumphantly around the room. He took one step too far.
With a sharp tug at his ankle, Axel found himself hanging upside-down. He looked around, confused.
"That's one of Zexion's traps." Xigbar muttered
"But," Axel said "Zexion's out."
"Is he?" Larxene asked "You took my word for it. Are you boys ready for the truth?" Larxene stood up, and with that movement, blonde hair turned grey-purple, and green eyes turned grey. The illusion gone, Zexion stood in front of them. He walked calmly over to the spot where Axel was hanging, mouth open.
"April Fools, Axel." Zexion smiled "You owe me 15,000 munny.
Author's note: This is no longer the end of the fic, so please read the next chapter!