A/N: For the girl who just told me that she used to not like me. Haha, love you too, Kylie.
THANK GOD FOR CRYME TYME.
Okay, so London and Kendrick were my favorite active tag team until Cryme Tyme came back. Well, I am very upset. I love Londrick, but NO NO NO! NO! Cody is finally on RAW, and UGHHHH! I threw my Mountain Dew, and I never waste a good Mountain Dew. WHY?!
He wasn't a very happy person right now.
He officially went down in history as the first man to cash in Money in the Bank and fail. Sure, he's made history before by winning the ECW Championship, but bad history always overshadowed the good, even if it wasn't as big of a deal.
CM Punk was moved to RAW just according to plan. They built him up slowly so he could challenge Randy Orton for the WWE Championship at Summerslam after he defended it against Jeff Hardy.
And he lost.
These are the times that I wish I wasn't straight edge, he thought to himself the morning after the Summerslam pay per view. He was back at home in his hometown of Chicago, waking up in the bed that he rarely ever slept in. Pulling the covers over his head, a scent that was also rarely around him filled his nose: breakfast.
Rolling over, he saw that the other side of his bed was empty. That meant that his girlfriend, Kylie, was making breakfast. Mumbling that it was still too early for him to be awake, he rolled out of bed and pulled some sweatpants over his boxers.
"What the hell are you doing up so early?" she asked, spatula in one hand and a frying pan in the other.
"Your cooking woke me up," he said, walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist as she continued to cook. "Actually, since when do you cook?"
Kylie turned around in his grasp and placed a kiss on his lips. "Well, I have to do something while you're out on the road. Are you feeling any better?"
Punk removed his arms from her and sat down at the kitchen table. Scratching the back of his head, he said, "Yeah, just about as good as the biggest loser in history feels."
"You're not a loser, babe. Besides, I have a surprise for you," Kylie said as she put the eggs she had just finished making on the two plates she had taken from the cabinet.
"And what's that?"
"Well, don't you think that it's been getting a little lonely around the house? I mean, obviously it sucks when you're gone, but I mean even when we're here. We could use a little extra something, right?"
The eggs that Punk had been shoveling in his face suddenly dropped back onto the plate when he heard this. "Are you pregnant? Because you can't be pregnant. I'd make a horrible father. Can you imagine me as a dad? I can't even take care of myself, let alone another life. I mean, look at my hair! Kylie, please tell me that you aren't pregnant."
"Babe, I'm not pregnant," Kylie laughed, now chewing on some bacon. "We're going somewhere today."
"I told you, it's a surprise."
"Why are we at a pet store?" Punk asked, pressing his face against the glass window of the pet store, staring at the litter of tiny puppies on the other side.
"Obviously to get a damn pet," Kylie said, and the entered the store. "I was thinking…"
"This one," Punk immediately said. Right when he walked in the door, he headed straight for that litter of puppies. He pointed to a tiny yellow lab in the bunch. "That is the cutest mother fucking thing I've ever seen in my life."
"You want a dog? I've always seen you as more of a cat person, to be honest," Kylie joked, questioning her boyfriend's masculinity.
"Are you calling me a pussy?" he asked with his hands on his hips with the pose of a distressed housewife who's husband had just come home late from work.
"No, I was thinking more of a bitch, really. What the heck would we name him?"
Punk reached down over the knee level fence surrounding the puppies and picked up the yellow lab he had so desperately wanted. Holding it up to his face and looking at Kylie, Punk smiled and answered, "Milo."
With the way that Punk treated Milo, Kylie might as well have been pregnant with an actual child. Punk treated Milo like a son when he was home. He even called home every night and made Kylie put the phone near Milo. He baby talked him all the time. He carried a picture of himself, Kylie, and Milo with him everywhere he went.
The next time that Punk came home for more than a couple of hours, he sat and trained Milo to sit and roll over. Kylie video taped it because, in all honesty, she thought the whole thing was pretty damn cute.
But then one day…
"Where's my boy?" Punk asked as he walked into the house.
"Well it's nice to see you, too," Kylie laughed as she went up and gave her boyfriend a kiss.
"Where's Miloooooooooooooooooo?" Punk whined, bouncing up and down.
"But I want to see my boyyy," Punk continued whining, hugging Kylie tight.
"We might be having a boy," she whispered.
Punk instantly let go of her. "What?"
A/N: Damn, that just might have been the cutest thing I've ever written.
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