Disclaimer: "Transformers" belongs to Hasbro, as much as I would like to own even a small part of them.
A/N: Woo, my first year in art college is finished and I got top grades from my final work! So, the hard work paid off. Now I've got the whole summer to do my own stuff. I'm going to draw until my fingers cramp.
The final chapter, where Sunstreaker reveals his true agenda and where the twins get what they had already coming.
Okay, Sam could admit it had been pretty fun at first to see the plushies fly around, and Ironhide's face when he realized where the disembodied voices were coming from would no doubt make him laugh for a while, but having a giant alien robot shoot at him was not fun in the least, even if the projectiles were soft and none of them actually had yet managed to hit him.
He just wished that Sarah Lennox would turn the baby alarm off already.
"God – damnit – 'Hide – stop!" Sam half giggled, sidestepping the soft animals. "'Bee! Do something!"
Sarah's voice cooed quietly somewhere inside Ironhide's chest cavity, causing Bumblebee to collapse into another silent fit of laughter. Now the cannons quickly spun to point at the yellow scout instead.
"Slaggit, Ironhide!" Ratchet almost shouted, latching onto the Topkick's arm again. "Don't make me offline your cannons!"
Ironhide froze and stared at the medic. "You wouldn't."
"Just try me", the CMO shot back. "I could do a lot worse."
The weapons specialist grunted and lowered his arms, throwing a glance at Sam's direction. "The kid wouldn't be worth it anyway", he grumbled grouchily, but obeyed the medic and settled for picking at the remaining plushies clinging to his cannons.
None of them had noticed that they had audience. Will had taken himself a spot from the rec room building's doorway, standing with his arms folded across his chest and observing the ongoing situation with a raised eyebrow. Wheeljack stood behind him with the flat screen from before in the crook of his arm, doing the same.
"I know I could offer some rational insight on the situation but I doubt anyone would listen to me", Will stated simply, squinting his eyes against the sun.
The engineer, who the Captain had quickly befriended, looked down at the human. "I am afraid you're right, Captain Lennox. I shall contact Prowl." Wheeljack shifted the monitor in his arms. "Right after dropping this off at my lab. I need to take a more thorough look at it."
"You do that", Will agreed, observing the scene on the yard. "I have a feeling that we need him to knock some sense into their heads." Wheeljack nodded and left.
As the engineer departed, Will noticed a red figure approaching him and giving the other bots a wide berth by walking along the yard's side. The red Lamborghini flashed him a wide smile when he reached the building's shade. Will recognized one of the infamous twins and looked back with a growing feeling of suspicion but remained silent.
"Some show, huh?" Sideswipe said lightly. "Though if I were them, I'd call Prime before he shorts a circuit." He inclined his head towards the communications center and with that disappeared into the hangar.
Will looked and sighed at the sight of the figure that briskly stormed out. "Oh no."
Oh no, Sam also thought when he saw the same as Will heading towards him.
"Oh, Primus", Ratchet mumbled. Bumblebee turned to look and chirped in alarm.
"You! Human! Stop right there!"
"Some show indeed", Will muttered, straightened himself and ran off to join Ratchet and Ironhide.
"What did I tell you? I just knew something like this would happen if we allowed humans to this base!"
The Autobot leader resisted the urge to facepalm at the heated, triumphant tone of his Security Director. "Red Alert", Optimus began diplomatically, "I know you take your job seriously, but surely you can see that you're acting irrationally."
"With all due respect, Prime, sir, but don't you understand? This is a serious breach of security!" Red Alert's hand gestured to the direction of one of the command center's smaller monitors where the mysterious surveillance tape was playing on loop. "He's just a human, how was he able to do that?"
"Red, I'm seriously starting to suspect that you have a glitch in your logic chips", Ratchet said in his curt way. "This is ridiculous. We all know you do not like humans. If this were just another prank by the Twins, you wouldn't be reacting like this."
"My cannons didn't fill themselves", Ironhide grunted, crossing his arms that looked oddly naked without the monstrous weapons. Ratchet had been forced to detach said cannons from his forearms in order to separately pluck off all the offending toys that stubbornly stuck into the smallest moving parts. That'd also keep Ironhide out of trouble for a while, as Will had commented.
Ratchet nailed the Topkick with a sharp glare. "That was no excuse to go on a fragging rampage. Even you should have enough sense to realize that. You owe Sam an apology."
"Why? No one got hurt."
"You fired at him!"
"If I had meant to hit him, I would have."
"I did not do it, how many times do I have to say that?" Sam piped up defensively from his safe spot on the floor near Bumblebee, who stood behind him, as if daring anyone to touch his charge.
Red narrowed his optics. "It's no use to lie anymore. You have been caught red-handed!" He jabbed an accusing finger at the human boy.
"And yet you still don't wonder how this happened, Red Alert?" Prowl's low, steady voice drifted from the command center's doorway where he'd been quietly observing the argument.
"It's all on tape, Prowl. Sir. The video was everywhere – even I saw it in my office! All the evidence points to the human."
"That is my point exactly", Prowl said calmly and stepped forward to stand beside his Commander. "How could a mere human possibly achieve such physical tasks as demonstrated on the tape? And how would you explain that your supposedly private surveillance tapes ended up on every visual receiver in the base?"
"The mere human is still in the room", Sam muttered under his breath, but was largely ignored. Bumblebee clicked disdainfully as he turned to stare demandingly at Red.
Prowl's question was followed by an uncomfortable silence. After his momentary hesitation Red Alert collected himself and crossed his arms expectantly. "Very well", he huffed, "I suppose you have an explanation of your own then."
Prowl exchanged a glance with Optimus. Then the tactician turned back to Red and simply nodded. "Yes I do. This – prank – has required the strength, means and wit that a single human cannot possess. My suspects are on their way as we speak and should be here right about… now."
"Whatever this is about now, it'd better be important. I didn't even finish my Energon! Ironhide, what's up? Good grief, what happened to your cannons?"
Sideswipe's cheerful greeting didn't seem to impress Ironhide, whose face darkened and he emitted a low growl as the Lambo twins entered the command center. Sam's face fell and he mumbled something along the lines of "not those two" and moved closer to Bumblebee.
Red Alert blinked his optics in surprise. "What is this, Prowl? You are aware that there is no eligible proof that-"
"It is the only logical conclusion."
"And what are we 'logically' accused of this time?" Sunstreaker cut in, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Prowl gave the yellow Lamborghini a steady glare. "There's no need for that, Sunstreaker. You already know why you're here."
"That's right, we do", Sideswipe said before his brother could reply. "Why is it that every time when something happens, you blame us? It's not very nice, you know." The red Lamborghini looked insulted.
"A sparkling could see that this is not the work of a human", Ratchet pointed out, both for the twins and Red Alert.
"So? How does that make it our fault? Where is your proof?"
Prowl made the mech equivalent of clearing his throat. "Are you saying that you have nothing to do with this incident?"
"I have no idea whatsoever what you are talking about, Prowl", Sideswipe said nonchalantly, waving the question off.
Every head in the room snapped to face Sunstreaker, who stood beside his twin, calm and collected, indifferently inspecting a nonexistent ding in his left arm. He glanced up and saw everyone staring at him. He sighed resignedly. "I tried to stop him, of course, but you know how he's like…" He slowly shook his head. "When Sides is bored, everyone suffers the consequences. Including me, it seems."
Sideswipe looked extremely taken aback by this. He gaped at his brother, blue optics wide. Then he looked at Prowl. And then back at Sunstreaker and frowned. "What?" he asked incredulously. Then he turned back to his audience again, the broad, innocent smile instantly appearing on his faceplates. "Sunny's such a fun fellow!" he said brightly and quite forcefully nudged the yellow Lamborghini's side with his elbow. "Shut your fragging mouth, Sunny. This isn't the time for jokes." Another grin.
Ironhide took a step forward. "If you two Pit-spawns even touched my cannons…" he growled forebodingly, balling his hands into fists. At his feet, Will Lennox backpedaled swiftly, sensing a hint of violence in the air.
"What's with you and those cannons anyway?" Sideswipe countered quickly. "By the way you act one would think you have half of your central processor hooked to them…"
"Say that again, you little-"
"Calm down, 'Hide", Will warned his guardian, still inching closer to Ratchet's foot.
"Ironhide, please", Optimus interrupted. When Ironhide grunted and crossed his arms again, he turned to the yellow warrior. "Explain, Sunstreaker."
"I'm tired of always being accused of your pranks, Sides. It is time you began taking the responsibility for them yourself", Sunstreaker said, pulling on a grave expression and looking firmly at his brother.
Sideswipe looked shocked. "This is unbelievable! Don't even try to put the blame on me, you aft, it was your idea!"
"Like gluing those tools to the ceiling was my idea, too?"
"Oh, that's it!"
This time Optimus actually did facepalm. "Prowl, you know how to handle this", he said wearily. "Looks like this is going to take some time. Red Alert, I trust you and Wheeljack will be able to fix whatever's been jamming the security network."
"Yes, sir", the Security Director muttered, clearly disappointed that all his carefully thought theories were so effortlessly proved wrong. As if blaming Sam for ruining his big moment, he threw an annoyed look at the boy's direction. Bumblebee was smart enough not to talk back to his superior officer, but even he chirped smugly at the look on Red's face.
Red Alert clenched his jaw and turned to leave, but stopped and glanced back, scanning the command center with his optics and frowning lightly. "Where is he, anyway?"
"Wheeljack?" Will asked, perking up.
Ratchet shifted uncomfortably behind him. "My medic sense is tingling", he announced ominously, lifting and tilting his head as if listening intently.
"He told me he was going to drop the TV off at his-"
The explosion was strong enough to make the ground tremble. While the present humans looked mostly startled, Ratchet only sighed exasperatedly, his shoulders slumping. "What did I tell you", he groaned. "How in Primus' name was he able to blow up a television?"
"You should have been there, Ratchet", Wheeljack rambled happily.
"I'm rather glad I weren't", Ratchet grumbled as he connected two wires in the unfortunate engineer's right arm. "You're lucky you only blew off half of your arm. Try moving the hand."
"I don't know how I hadn't figured it out sooner", Wheeljack continued and wiggled his index finger. "Only this finger works. Ratchet, this might actually be the breakthrough for that force field project I abandoned a long time ago!" He was almost bouncing on the berth he was sitting on inside the med bay.
"I'm very interested to hear how you ended up installing a force field for a TV, and why didn't you take cover when it caught on fire, as you tell me", Ratchet said coolly, prodding some neural ends inside the engineer's shoulder and watching Wheeljack's middle finger twitch.
"Oh – you see, the funny thing is that the new force field also happened to be magnetic, and – well – it sort of got attached to my hand. I didn't expect it to do that, to be honest." Wheeljack craned his neck to look at his shoulder that Ratchet was working on but the back of his head was seized by the medic's hand. "What are you doing?" he asked confusedly.
"Looking for your motor functions switch. I need to turn it off so you'll stop jerking while I'm trying to patch up your sorry aft."
Wheeljack stiffened. "I won't move, I promise."
"You'd better not."
The CMO worked in blessed silence for a while.
"How did the little incident involving young Samuel and Ironhide go?"
"I can't believe you turned your back on me like that, Sunny." Sideswipe's voice was full of feigned hurt.
"I'm sure you would have done the same for me, dear brother."
"I'm glad no one believed you though. It would've been dull to sit down here all alone." When there was no reply, Sideswipe went on: "To try to frame me like that… Primus, Sunny, that was an indescribably dirty trick. You almost succeeded, you know? An admirable feat. I would shake your hand if we weren't in separate cells."
"Shut the frag up already."
"Why so glum? You didn't actually think we'd get away with this, did you? It was your idea, after all. You and your stupid 'revenge'."
"It wasn't all about revenge."
"I don't know. I was bored?"
"That's a cheap excuse." Sideswipe's voice sounded distasteful.
"It's not an excuse. You get bored, too. Who shouldn't I be bored once in a while?"
"Because it's not like you", Sideswipe whined. "I get all the blame."
Sunstreaker grunted in the opposite cell. "Good. Then you know how I feel every time you get into trouble and I get pulled along."
Sideswipe huffed. "Fine. You act grumpy then. I still think it was pretty impressive. That fake video of yours was truly professional work."
"Flattery won't get you out of the slag you're in when we get out of here."
"Oh come on, Sunny. You shouldn't be angry at me, it should be the other way round – I at least tried to keep up the good act. But you just had to blow it, didn't you?" Sideswipe sighed in mock defeat and sat down on the berth in his cell. "How much do you think Prowl would appreciate a new paintjob?" he wondered aloud.
He grinned at the pair of narrowed bright blue optics in the opposite cell. "Whatever you say." He snickered. "I'd like to see Prowler's face when he finds the bill for all those toys."
"And I'd like to see your face when he gives you triple shift in exchange."
Sideswipe went silent again, until a brilliant realization dawned on him and caused his lips to turn into a mischievous smirk. "Well, at least some benefit came from this stunt. Besides the business with the human toys, I mean."
There was a long pause in Sunstreaker's cell, during which Sideswipe's grin only grew wider, knowing that he had caught his twin's interest. "And what might that be?" Sunstreaker then asked tentatively.
Sideswipe chuckled. "Red hasn't found out about the spy camera yet…"
A/N: The end! It is the end! No moar! This is already much longer than it was first supposed to be when I started it. It's just a crack fic. Ignore the stupidity, please.
Well, even after all this time, we didn't find out who exactly is Cyclonus' Armada, but… uh… that's because I have no clue.
Billion of thanks to every single blessed, beautiful souls who read this, commented and favourited! I haven't replied to all comments, but know that I do read them all! Thank you!