EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH 2
Long time, No See
A brown haired man and a bleach-blonde man came into the orientation room, sitting in flimsy chairs. The brown haired man sat there, arms crossed, sitting with a cocky smile. His face was unshaven and his hair was rather long and shaggy, wearing a blue striped shirt and zip-up sweatshirt and jeans. His name is Zack Bradley.
The bleach-blonde wore a green shirt and a white tie and khakhi pants. His name was Vince Downey.
Soon, a redhaired girl came in. She was dressed in a black AC/DC shirt and jeans that were splattered with bleach and black Chuck Taylor AllStar Converses; the white vinyl was a disgusting yelllow covered with black permanent marker drawings and the laces were grisley grey. Her hair was in a messy French twist. She looked at a card.
"Is this where orientation is?" she asked.
"Cool," she said. She plopped into a seat next to Zack. He stared at her up and down: she was pretty hot, in a tomboyish sort of way. She popped a piece of gum in her mouth, bored.
"Dude," she said. "What are you staring at?"
"Nothing," he replied with a shrug. She said dude like she was a guy. He definately liked this girl.
"Hello," said a beautiful, Hispanic lady who was dressed in a pink sweater and had a large lily behind her right ear. "Welcome to orientation. I found the video for you to watch. While you watch the video, I'll get your forms that you can fill out. There's snacks and soda over on the table." She popped the tape into the VCR and walked out of the room.
A swelling orchestration blared from the TV. The words SUPER CLUB WELCOME NEW MEMBERS! appeared on the screen.
"We are the fastest growing company in the United States," said a narrator. "If we were a country, we would be the 29th most powerful economy in the world. Just ahead of France."
The redhaired girl rolled her eyes. God! She HATED these kind of instructional videos.
Soon, an actor appeared on the screen. "Who are we? We're Super Club!" He flashed his Super Club card. "Where buying in bulk is your God given right."
"And you, sir, are SUPER gay!" the redhead mocked sarcastically. "And being queer is your God given right."
Zack snorted slightly. He agreed silently with her. This girl was cool.
"Hello, everyone," the actor continued to say. "I'm a recognizable actor..."
"This is stupid," she said, grabbing the remote and pressed the fast-forward button until she found a part that was interesting.
"What are you doing?" said Vince.
"Skipping the boring parts," she said, smiling.
"She's right, man," said Zack. "This video is kind of boring."
"Thank you!" she said. "Finally, someone who has a brain around here."
"As a new part of the Super Club team," the actor commenced. "We all do things the Super Club way..."
"You want to have a go?" she said, tossing Zack the remote.
"Yea," he said, smiling.
Vince rolled his eyes. They were a bunch of clowns who clearly didn't care about having a job. Slackers. Lazy-asses.
"Oh no!" said the actor. "A Super Club member has lost their child. But that's OK. When you do things the Super Club way..."
"Skip it!" she said. He tossed her the remote and she fast-forwarded the tape until he found an interesting spot.
"The most coveted prize for all Super Club team members," the actor recommenced. "Employee of the Month."
She tossed him the remote and let him have a turn.
"Welcome," said the actor. "To Super Club Family!"
Zack was about to rewind and there was static on the screen. Apparently, the tape had ended.
"Ugh!" Zack said, rolling his eyes. "What a waste of time."
"Totally agree," she said.
"Excuse me," said Vince, who apparently was fed up with their lazy-ass attitudes. "They asked us to watch this for a reason. And do not screw this up for me."
"I'm not trying to screw anything up, man," said Zack.
"Yea, take the long stick out of your ass and calm the fuck down, Sphincter Man!" the girl said, agreeing with him.
"Besides, this is only a part-time situation once I get my business off the ground and then, I'm out of here."
Vince rolled his eyes. "Your business, I'm sure."
"Hey, leave him alone! Anyone who has a dream and potential can make it in the business world," the girl said.
"Oh, really? You barely look like you graduated high school."
"FYI, I did graduate from high school...and I went to business school..."
"And did you graduate?"
"Erm...well no...but, I'm studying at community college to get my AA degree." She blushed. "But, that's beside the point. At least this guy graduated from college and has plans for the future."
"It's like talking Shakespeare to dogs," Vince murmured.
"You're a cool girl," he said.
She smiled, twirling a lock of her tousled hair. "Eh, you're not too bad yourself, dude."
"I'm back," said the beautiful Hispanic lady named Lily.
"They broke the VCR while you were away," said Vince. "I tried to stop them."
"Kiss ass," the redhead coughed.
"Oh, that's OK," said Lily. "You don't have to watch the rest of that. Just fill out these forms and then I'll get your vests." She dropped her pen. "Oops! I dropped my pen!"
The two boys began to fight over the dropped pen. Zack ended up getting the top. The girl rolled her eyes. Boys sure were idiots when they a pretty girl was in the room. Thank God she wasn't like all girls.
"I got to tell you," said Vince. "That's a gorgeous carnation. It really makes your eyes pop."
"Actually that's a lily," the redhaired girl said. "Family Plantae, Order Lilales, Family Liliaceae, Genus Lilium. And it's endogenous to the Galopagos."
"Wow!" said Lily. "You sure know your plants."
"I took a botany course at college."
"Ooh! College girl! Well, my name is Lily, like the flower."
"My grandmother's name was Lily. And she just passed," Vince said.
"Aww, I'm so sorry."
The red haired girl and Zack rolled their eyes.
"You know what I do when I'm sad? I eat chocolate."
She picked up a bowl of M&Ms and poured them down her open mouth; the redhaired girl made a disgusted face. She could hear her getting fatter.
"Oh my God!" she mouthed quietly.
"You eat so much sugar you probably shit candy-canes," Zack said.
Lily laughed. "No. I just have good genes. I guess I'm blessed."
Vince laughed as well. "Well, that's an understatement. You are blessed from floor to ceiling. I got to tell you, it's really refreshing to see a modern lady like yourself indulging in the sweeter things of life."
"Well, I like to indulge in all of life's pleasures," Lily replied.
"Oh my God!" the redhaired girl said. "What an ass-kisser," she whispered to Zack.
"Yea," he agreed.
"Seriously, this dude needs a serious ass-kicking."
Zack nodded in agreement.
"Got any ideas?"
"Well, there was this kiss-ass in our college that we all couldn't stand because he made us all look like assholes. So, every time he would sit down, we'd steal his chair and he'd fall on his ass. It was hilarious."
Zack nodded. "Great idea."
He pushed the chair away with his foot. Then, Vince went to sit down and he fell on his ass and to top it off, he hit his head on the table. The redhaired girl and Zack laughed hard.
"That's funny. Really funny," said Vince. "That was a real riot."
"Did you have a nice fall?" the redhaired girl said.
"Oh, shut up!" he said, his voice cracking.
"Awww, did I make Mr. Hot-Shot sad?" she said, pouting her lip.
His face was flushed with anger and embarrassment. "Let me tell you two something," he said. "In ten years, I'm gonna be running this place. And when I am, I'll make damn sure that neither of you are working here."
"Are we supposed to be scared?" the redhaired girl said sarcastically. "Because you're not."
"Yea, and let me tell you something," said Zack. "If I'm working here in ten years, you're gonna have to put a bullet in my brain."
Vince scoffed and filled out his form. Soon, they handed in their forms and Lily looked at them, handing them their vests.
"Ruebena Redford?" said Lily.
The redhead girl clenched her jaw in embarrassment, burying her head in her hands. God! She hated being called that name! God forbid her parents would name her something normal! But, NO! They had to give her a really embarrassing name. Vince sniggered slightly.
"Ruebena?" he snorted. "What a stupid name."
Zack gave him a dirty look. "Oh, shut up!"
"That would be me," she said. "And please, it's Ruby. It's really embarrassing enough for me to have to live with that name."
"Aw, I think it's a lovely name," Lily said.
"Yea, well, you didn't get teased all through school."
"Well, I'll make sure that your name tag says Ruby."
Zack looked at the girl. Ruebena Redford. That name sounded so familiar. A little redhaired girl that sat next to him in second grade. The kids bursting into laughter when they heard her name. Jimmy Walters, the school bully, stealing his lunch and the little redhaired girl beating him up. She came and asked him if he was OK and offered to share half of her lunch with him. That was the day they became best friends.
"Wait, are you Ruby Redford?"
"Yea. Why?" she asked.
Suddenly, she recognized him. A brown haired kid who was being shoved by Jimmy Walters and she beat him up.
"Oh my GOD!" she screeched. "Zack! I didn't recognize you!"
"It's great to see you!" he said.
"Wait, you two know each other?" said Vince incredulously and annoyed.
"Of course!" Ruby said. "We've been best friends and neighbors since we were kids."
"Oh great!" Vince mouthed, rolling his eyes.
"Jesus, how long has it been?"
"Two years." He smiled as he looked at his longtime best friend. "So, what are you doing now? Did you finish at Arizona U?"
"Eh, no. I dropped out. It just wasn't for me...plus, my father passed away."
"Oh, no! I'm sorry. What happened?"
"Apparently, he had a relapse when I left for college and..." Ruby shook her head, unable to go on.
"Thank you. So, I just couldn't go on...I didn't want to end up like Dad. So, I dropped out. However, I plan on finishing at community college and get my AA degree in business. I figure I'd like to be a manager or something. Anyway, what's going on with you?"
"Well, just finished college and I'm working on starting my own business. This is just a temporary thing."
"Cool. You think you could get me a job?"
"I'll put you first on my list."
Ruby was so happy that she and her best friend were reunited.