Disclaimer: I own Jareth! … ah haaa… April Fools! I don't own him or anyone else from Labyrinth. … (cries)
Summary: It's that age old tale where Sarah is a healthy college student with many friends, mountains of homework and a Goblin King who comes to announce she's been wished away.
By Kadasa Mori
Erin Silvana would not say she was smart (I mean she was, what with that 4.0 GPA in her first semester of Freshman year, that being beside the point) but she would say she was smart enough to know when to stay away from her roommate.
That roommate was one Sarah Williams, a green eyed brunette who had an attraction to all things crazy and insane, two things Erin was sure she was after three seconds of meeting the young girl. She often walked into the room to find Sarah hastily jumping up and spinning around to hide the mirror on her desk, laughing insanely when Erin raised an eyebrow and asked what she was doing. She also found Sarah arguing with nothingness at three thirty in the morning. She'd roll over, grab the pillow bought specifically for this purpose and pitch it in her roomie's direction, smirking smugly when there was a satisfying squawk that would sufficiently end all nightly conversations.
Now Erin was smart enough to realize that Sarah Williams was a crazy and insane girl, but she was not smart enough to realize that if she were to stay sane, she needed to find a different roommate… which is why she still lived with the crazy insane brunette.
Lounging on her bed on April 1st, Erin found herself immersed in a video game. When her cellphone buzzed, announcing to her that it was nearing lunch, she glanced in the direction of her roommate's side of the room and frowned slightly, finding it empty. After returning early that morning (around three am) and finding it empty, she'd assumed Sarah'd fallen asleep in another room, as she sometimes did.
Now finding that the brunette hadn't returned when she normally did was somewhat unsettling. Frowning irritably at the thought of the paranoia that would soon creep up, she sighed and set the laptop aside, shrugging on a light sweater and shoes, heading down the hall to see where her obnoxious roomie was.
She knocked on the first door, it swinging open after a moment, a reddish blond haired girl standing there. She blew a pink bubble and let it pop before she questioned, "yeah?"
"Seen Williams around?"
She shook her head. "Sorry. Try Anne though, she might've stolen her for their late night poetry or whatever."
She nodded and shut the door, Erin stepping across the hall and knocking. The door swung open, a girl nearly identical to the one across the hall opened the door. "Hey Erin."
"Hey Anne. Seen Williams?"
She frowned and shook her head. "Is she missing?"
"Yes and being a pest at doing so. Let me know if you see her." Anne nodded, wished Erin good luck and disappeared back inside.
Ten doors later, Erin trudged back to her room with a sigh. Now to the phone and trying to remember who Sarah had gone out with last night. She vaguely remembered Sarah's happy chirping about some girl who she'd gone to high school with. Rolling her eyes, Erin pulled out her keys only to pause, hearing noise inside the room.
"You're such a jerk!" She frowned, wondering how Sarah got into the room if Erin had been within eyesight of the door the entire time.
"Why Sarah, surely you understand the fun behind such a simple and harmless prank. It is April Fool's my dear." She frowned even darker, not recognizing the man's voice.
"That wasn't a nice prank! I thought you were serious!"
"Oh I was."
There was a moment of silence before, "AUGH! Jareth you jerk!"
Erin swung the door open, not wanting blood on her side of the room and found Sarah holding a pillow up, turned towards her in surprise. Both brunette's stared at each other for a few moments before Sarah swallowed nervously. "Erin… I can explain…"
Erin raised an eyebrow. "Explain what?"
"Well, he…" She trailed off as she looked in front of her then around the room. "Jareth?" As she bent to look under the bed, Erin sighed heavily.
"Good lord Sarah… what's wrong with you?" She put her hands on her hips and looked around. "Were you talking to yourself or watching tv cause I know I heard someone else in here."
"Uh… yeah…" She looked confused.
Erin sighed again. "Whatever. I should be used to it now. Wanna go get some lunch with me?"
"No… no I'm not that hungry…" She was peering behind the curtains.
"Sarah?" She looked back. "What are you doing?"
She dropped the curtains quickly. "Nothing."
Erin just gave her an odd look. "All right… I'll be back later then…" She closed the door after her.
Sarah scowled, leaping onto her bed and glaring at the wall. Stupid Jareth… why is he not dead yet?…
It had started out as a beautiful morning and evolved into a broken ankle as she kicked the walls thinking she was stuck in the Labyrinth forever because her roommate wished her away. She'd broken her ankle when she stumbled over a Goblin she'd earlier kicked away from her and it decided it wanted to sleep in her path.
Turning to Jareth, she'd told him (through tears of pain) that if she were one of his subjects, he had a duty to make sure she was healthy and therefore had to heal her ankle.
He immediately replied, "oh, you're not one of my subjects."
"What?!" she'd screeched after the moment or two of confusion.
"April Fools, dear Sarah." He grinned wickedly. "I suppose you won't be disemboweling your roommate now."
"No… I'll just disembowel you!" she shrieked and lunged for him, forgetting about the broken ankle and trying her hardest to kill the blond haired fae before her.
Only after her hands wrapped around his neck did he truly realize how angry she was and set about soothing her by remarking dryly (as she shook him) that if she were to kill him, she'd never get back home or have her ankle healed.
Which brought her back to the not-death of Jareth, Goblin King.
She growled darkly, plotting how best to go about plotting his death. As a loud scream echoed in the room beside her, she smirked and hopped off the bed, hurrying over and knocking on the door.
There was a shriek and a thud following by loud cursing. The door flew open. "Damn it! What the hell do you want Williams?!"
"How would you best go about plotting someone's death?"
The girl raised an eyebrow then waved her into the room. She dug through her backpack as Sarah glanced at the tv and found a particularly gruesome movie on, the girl paused in her run from the monster after her. "Okay." She hopped onto her bed, motioning for Sarah to take the desk chair. "Who is it?"
"A man named Jareth." As the other's nose wrinkled, Sarah sighed. "I think he's British, Sarah."
"Don't call me Sarah when we're together. I don't know if you're just talking in third person or referring to me." The other Sarah announced, then scribbled down on the pad.
"The name's Scarlet, Williams."
"Hmph." She crossed her arms irritably. "Are you gonna help the death planning or not, Scarlet?"
Sarah S. stuck her tongue out. "Well… what's this Jarrett like?"
"Jareth. And he… well he likes tormenting me."
"Is that part of the reason Erin believed you were lost today?"
"Are you gonna tell me about it?"
"No. It'll take too long to explain."
"Kay. What's this guy like?"
"Well… he's annoying, arrogant, likes things to go his way."
"Perfect! Then to kill him, simply make everything go his way, make him feel like he's on top of the world then… attack!"
Sarah raised an eyebrow. "Attack?"
"Yeah!" Sarah S. pumped her fist into the air. "Either stab him, shoot him, blow him up or send a vampire after him." She pointed to the screen. "She's about to be terribly mauled. Nice gruesome death."
Sarah sighed. "Scarlet… you're weird…"
She narrowed her eyes and 'hmph'ed. "Well fine! If you're gonna be that way, you can figure out how to kill him on your own!"
Sarah stuck her tongue out. "Fine." As she turned to leave, her eyes spotted something lying on Sarah S's roomie's desk. "Hey… can I borrow that?"
Sarah walked out into the park surrounding the dorm and campus. She glanced around and, spotting no one near took a deep breath and wrapped her hand tightly around the weapon in her pocket. "Jareth?" she called.
"Yeeees?" She turned and found him standing there, hands on his hips and a gleeful look on his face.
Her eyes narrowed. "What have I ever done to you?"
"You mean… besides wishing your brother away, making me the villain for your villainous act, destroying my castle and trying to kill me?... not much."
"You were the villain you jerk!"
He shrugged. "Well it's not my fault you wished your brother away. Now," he turned to walk away. "I was busy before you called. You know, being a king an all is a full time job."
"Jareth… you've pushed me too far…" Sarah whispered. He turned in confusion only to find a gun pointed at his face. She smirked. "Good bye." His heart stopped beating as her finger pulled the trigger.
As the small jet of water hit his face, he winced then blinked and wiped as his face realizing one, it was water and not blood, two, he wasn't dead, and three, Sarah was laughing hysterically.
"You… should've… seen… your… face!!" she squealed. "It was hilarious!!"
She didn't happen to notice the darkening glare forming over his face as she tried not to fall over herself laughing. She did notice when she was thrown over his shoulder though. "Ack! Jareth! Jareth what are you doing?!" She looked over her shoulder and noticed the oncoming pond, eyes widening greatly. "Jareth… don't you dare! Put me down! Don't you dare!!"
He snorted and hopped onto the stone around the pond. As he lifted her to toss into the pond, she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. She was going in, this she knew, but she wasn't going in alone. He let out a yelp, her a scream, as gravity tugged them into the pond.
He burst back up and scowled, hair plastered to his face. Sarah was swimming towards the edge. He reached out and grabbed her ankle, tugging her back towards him. She squealed, kicking furiously. "Let go! You jerk!" As she turned to face him, he slapped the water so it splashed into her face. She let out a shriek and splashed back at him. He of course had to retaliate to that and it evolved into a furious water fight.
Erin was walking by, humming to herself, a bag of food swinging from her hand. She heard the noise and headed over. She sighed. "Sarah?" Both turned to her, Sarah's hands wrapped around his neck, him trying to fend her off and splash her. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to kill this guy." she replied calmly. He glared at her.
"Hm… well I won't lie to police to get you out of jail, just to let you know."
"I didn't assume you would Erin."
She waved. "Catch ya later. Nice to meet you dead man."
As she turned to walk away she heard, "who's that?"
"That's Erin. My roommate."
"She'd actually be happy if I were to go to jail. She'd have a single then."
"But then she might get an even worse roommate than you." Erin jerked to a stop.
"Excuse me?! I'm a good roommate-"
"Okay dead man. Out of the water." They turned to Erin who'd returned. "I will not have another roommate who's as crazy and insane as Sarah."
Sarah pouted but was shoved out of the pond, Jareth hopping out after her and ringing out his clothes, hair poofing back up quickly. She scowled at him. "How the hell do you do that?" she asked.
He raised an eyebrow at her, pulling off and boot and letting the water fall out. "Do what?"
"Your hair looks like it's dry already."
He shrugged. "I'm magical."
Erin snorted, Sarah scowling. She stood and rung out her shirt over his head. He snarled and spun, shoving her back into the pond. She shrieked as she went back under and Erin sighed. She held out a hand to Jareth who raised an eyebrow and carefully shook it.
"It was nice meeting you dead man." He raised an eyebrow but didn't have a chance to respond as arms wrapped around his neck and dragged him back into the water. Erin turned and headed back to the dorm. "Looks like I'll be getting a new roommate soon," she murmured hearing the shrieks of fury behind her.
Author's Note: Some people wanted an epilogue chapter and I was unsure if I wanted to write one but eventually gave in. So here it is, whilst I try and study for my test. Why is it that I always write my best procrastinating for a test? xD I hope my teachers never read these author's notes…
Oh! And if anyone's read one of my HP fanfics, you'll recognize the two hall mates mentioned: twins Anne and Sarah Scarlet. Sarah is quite like her friend of the same name and Anne is a quieter bookish girl.
I think that's it. Okay! Off to the notes! … (cries)