"Ooh, purty," Naruto rumbled, reaching out towards Kyuubi's red fur

"Ooh, purty," Naruto rumbled, reaching out towards Kyuubi's red fur. "Purty, purty."

The Kyuubi was aghast. It had no idea how to deal with a container such as this. Even Shukaku's teakettle would have been better than this! (Although that was mostly due to the fact that it would have taken Kyuubi practically no time at all to bust out of the teakettle, but that was irrelevant.) "Why don't you take that seal off?" it tried, growling as it noticed the young teen had lost interest and was now splashing in the puddles that liberally decorated the mind.

"Ooh, purty!" Naruto grinned as he spotted Kyuubi.

"Yes, thank you. How about the seal? Isn't the seal pretty too?" it pointed towards the strip of paper that caged the fox, hoping the desperation in its voice wasn't showing through.

"Red purty," Naruto informed the Kyuubi as though he had made a great discovery.

"Would you like to pet me?" the Kyuubi decided to change tactics slightly. Obviously this would need a lot of finesse. "You have to come closer if you want to pet the nice, red fur."

"Nice," Naruto agreed, taking a closer step to the cage and stretching his arm through the bars. He flailed it around for several minutes, then frowned upwards at Kyuubi, face crumpling.

Kyuubi began to panic.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" the boy wailed at the top of his lungs.

Kyuubi wished for a pair of hands for the first time ever, just so he could cover his ears.

"WAAAAAAHH! WAAAAAHH!" Amazingly – or rather, unfortunately, the screaming appeared to be growing louder.

Kyuubi shoved his tails through the bars and dangled them above the boys head enticingly. "Lookie here!" he said in a gratingly cheerful singsong voice that nearly made him puke. "Lookie at what I can do!"

Naruto paused in his tantrum and smiled, reaching out for the tails that Kyuubi was careful to keep just out of his reach, intending to trick him into grabbing for one and snatching the seal instead.

--Several hours later--

The boy was worse than the Nibi no Nekomata. Even she grew tired of inanely jumping around in a futile effort to catch an equally inane object.

Kyuubi slapped his tails across his face as he realized that he had just called his own tails – his nine beautiful tails – inane. The boy's stupidity must be catching. He could practically feel his brain cells dying, contaminated by mere proximity.


Kami above, he was back to splashing in puddles.

"ENOUGH!" the Kyuubi roared, the force of his voice throwing the boy back against the wall. "YOU WILL TEAR DOWN THIS SEAL IMMEDIATELY!"

"Ooh, purty!" Naruto cheerfully proclaimed.

The Kyuubi promptly imploded.