John Casey's Five Favorite Guns

5) Saiga-12 shotgun, with Callahan Full-bore Auto-lock modifications

Yeah, as all you Browncoats out there are quite aware, I did in fact just describe Vera – Jayne Cobb's favorite piece of weaponry. But let me tell you something. Though Vera may be a fictional gun, the IZHMASH Saiga-12 shotgun is one fine piece of machinery, even if a commie bastard did design it. The modifications used to turn it into Vera – completely doable.

Once you've modified that shotgun, it is an unstoppable force. You can use her in full automatic, single shot, you name it – she's gonna take your target down. Believe me when I say, if that was the gun I'd used on Bryce Larkin, he would NOT have come back to cause trouble two months later.

4) Israeli Military Industries Uzi sub-machine gun

This baby is a beautiful piece of machinery. Compact and lightweight, an Uzi can go with me pretty much wherever I need to go, and it can put out six hundred rounds per minute, traveling at four hundred meters per second. That's what I call rapid-fire.

Sure, it's got drawbacks, like the fact that the design is sixty years old, but who cares. The best guns are those that have been around for awhile. The Uzi has gotten me out of a lot of tight spots, usually involving Russians. I tell you what, though. If I hear Bartowski and Grimes talking about sandwiches ONE MORE GOD DAMN TIME, I might be employing the Uzi again…

3) M109 155 mm self-propelled Howitzer

See, now, this is where I differ from a great number of my colleagues. They tell me the M109 isn't a gun, it's a tracked vehicle. It's an artillery piece. It's damn well near a tank.

Bullshit. It's got a barrel, it ejects a projectile at high speed on a ballistic profile, and said projectile is ejected courtesy an explosive powder. In my book, that baby's a gun.

I've seen these things in action, too. Sure, it was the Army's A6 Paladin modification, over in Iraq, but it's still the same thing. And are they ever destructive. Watching one of these babies tear an enemy fortification into little tiny pieces of confetti is a thing of beauty.

2) M1911 handgun, as designed by John Browning and popularized by Colt

Ah, this is my favorite handgun. Designed for an Army contract by John Browning and accepted into service in 1911, models of this baby still roll off of production lines today. It's one of the most popular handguns ever created, used by the US Uniformed Services, large numbers of police departments, and militaries around the world.

This is also Walker's favorite handgun. This is one area where I will grudgingly admit that she has good taste, although if you ever tell her that, I will find you and forcibly remove your spleen. She's got a pretty nice model of it, too – when she was in CIA training, one of her trainers, a former Marine Corps gunnery sergeant, gave her a gift upon her certification. It was a Colt 1911 Series 70, issued only to Marine Recon units. I tell you – she can pick a fly off a skyscraper with that thing at five hundred yards. But I'm not jealous. Not me.

I want Walker's goddamn gun.

1) Any gun in my hand with Bryce Larkin at the other end

They tell me that he isn't actually a bad guy. I say that's a load of horse manure. He blew up a multi-billion dollar government asset, and he's not a bad guy. Sure, and I'm the Crown Prince of Bhutan.

See, I had to use a weenie-ass NSA issue Browning Hi-Power when I took him down, because I wasn't expecting to have to neutralize anybody when I reported for duty that day. If I'd known, I would've shown up with my 1911 on one hip, my Uzi on the other, and my Saiga-12 in my hands, ready for some action.

The second time I shot him, I had a Desert Eagle forty-four in my hand. That should've dropped him permanently; unfortunately, the bastard was wearing body armor. If I get a third chance, though… he won't be getting back up.