Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Sorry. :shrug:

Author's Note:


Sorry, guys--I forgot to mention this is a repost, hehe ;; It's in my profile, but the world doesn't read that, haha. I didn't steal it.


Hey! Glad you stumbled across my fic--did the summary intrigue you? I hope you'll review my story once you finish the first chapter and give me lots of concrit. It'd be much appreciated.

Now, I must admit that I am not Japanese. I didn't go to a Japanese school, so all of my knowledge on the schooling system there is from research I did online. If I make any mistakes, I'd love it if you would correct me. I simply had this set in Japan due to the fact Uchiha-sensei or Sasuke-sensei sounds so much better than Mr. Uchiha. XD It does, doesn't it? Please, if I make mistakes, tell me! It would be greatly appreciated. I won't throw any random Japanese in besides the honorifics (since they're actually important) since they're speaking Japanese anyways, so don't worry. Thanks!

Setting: Shibuya, Yoyogi Uehara, and a Japanese Private School located near Shibuya.

Ages: Students are 16-17. Sasuke is 24, and Kakashi&Co are 24-26.

Okay, onto the fanfic!

Summary: Uzumaki Naruto is a terrible student in school who has a special talent--he can seduce just about any male. When his newest male teacher demands perfection from everyone, what is he to do? Put that talent to use, of course! SasuNaru, AU.


Lesson One

He was a hardass.

Sasuke Uchiha walked down the school hallways silently, making his way to his classroom. The beginning of yet another school year, and the beginning of yet another year of hell. Oh, well. At least he wouldn't be the only one to suffer.

As he neared his classroom, sounds of teenagers talking loudly and moving around became louder and louder until he realized it was coming from his classroom. Oh, hell no. There would be none of that kind of crap in his classroom. Like hell he'd allow it to ever get that loud. Though he had a feeling after his students met him, there would be nothing to worry about.

Stopping before his classroom door, he took a breath. Truthfully, he hated people, but...he had to do this. He didn't really have a choice.

The Uchiha violently flung the door open, striding in silently to his podium in the front of the room. His classroom was painted a ghostly white with a blue and white-checkered tile floor. A large, dark green chalkboard took up most of the front wall, and the navy blue and silver desks were aligned in perfect rows. Along the walls there were a number of shelves, as white as the wall, with workbooks, notebooks, stacks of paper; just about anything he would need for his class. The sounds of the room dissipated soon after his arrival, the intensity of his aura frightening just about everyone. Sasuke set his materials on the desk and then turned back to his students, glaring. He hated...damn, I really needed to get it together, Sasuke scolded himself. I have a class to run.

"Listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once." As he stood stock-still in the front of his classroom, the coldness of Sasuke Uchiha's voice lowered the temperature of the room. Every student in the room sat motionless, the soft hum of the heater and the tick of the clock the only sounds other than Sasuke's voice. His eyes stared piercingly at everyone, making sure they knew by the end of the period he was not one to be messed with.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke, and unfortunately, you are now in my class. This class will not be easy for you. It has nothing to do with the fact that everything is complex; it's simply that you're all stupid. All stupidity should be left outside of my classroom. In here, you do things right. There is no room for errors. Mistakes are not to be taken lightly. If you make mistakes, it's another sign of how stupid you are. I don't care if you're dumb as a rock outside of my classroom, but in here, you will be perfection." He smirked mentally in triumph as jaws began to fall and the eyes of his students' widened. The raven-haired teacher could already tell his class was relatively stupid.

"By the end of the week, I will hate something about every single one of you." As he gazed quickly over each of his students, he knew off the bat he would hate something about each and every one of them. Hell, he already hated something about their appearances, so there was no doubt in his mind he would hate something about their personalities, too. "If you think there's a chance that maybe I'll make an exception and like you, forget it. If it discourages you even more, you're all ugly."

Gasps and murmurs erupted from the students, everyone turning to complain to a friend--maybe even a stranger--about the words out of his mouth. The Uchiha didn't even have to speak to quiet the room; the sheer intensity of his glare silenced everything. He noticed an obnoxious pair of boys in the front right corner of the room--a blonde and a brunette. Damn. They would most likely be trouble.

It was no problem, though. He could intimidate anyone.

"In this classroom, you will speak only when spoken to. You will choose your words carefully when speaking to me, and you will never, under any circumstances, interrupt me. If you do, you had better correct yourself quickly or pray you don't run into me outside of the school, because I will kick your ass. I won't tolerate disrespect."

The shock flooded the room once again, though this time it was silently. Sasuke fought back yet another self-satisfied smirk and continued. "I will say whatever I want to say in this room, and I don't care if it hurts your feelings. I am not here to please you. I'm here to teach you, and you're here to learn."

A relatively small girl with brown hair raised her hand cautiously, and Sasuke groaned inwardly. Bet you ten dollars she had something stupid to say.


"Um, Uchiha-sensei...M-my mother always told me th-that, um, no one can be perfect."

He stared her down until she was cowering in her seat, half-hidden under the desk. A haughty smirk threatened his features as he replied smoothly, "In my class, you'd better prove that statement wrong."

"Man, this school year is totally going to suck," Uzumaki Naruto groaned loudly to his friends. "We're stuck with the toughest teacher in the whole school for homeroom, fuck!"

He sighed in unison with his close friend, Inuzuka Kiba, slumping lower into his seat. Of all the crappy luck Naruto could have, he had to get the worst, most demanding teacher to be teaching him the hardest, most demanding subjects. Yes, he was with his closest friends, but fuck! Couldn't he have had that one lazy teacher for homeroom?

At least he had his talent.

"The guy has a well-known reputation for being a complete hardass. They say he works you half to death," Kiba said in a spooky voice, his eyes growing wide with every word and waving his arms around for emphasis. "And then once you're so tired you can't even think he throws a huge exam your way that you're bound to fail! And then he gets you in his evil clutches, and--"

"You know that's all ridiculous, right, Kiba?" Nara Shikamaru, a self-proclaimed lazy genius and one of Naruto's close friends, inquired. "I don't doubt that he's a hardass, but I don't think any of us will be stuck in 'evil clutches' anytime soon."

"I hope he's at least easy on the eyes, man." The blonde sighed heavily, crossing his arms over his chest, and Kiba shot him a dirty look while saying, "Yeah, well, I hope he's flat-out ugly! Like he got his face run over by a truck or something!" Nodding as if agreeing with himself once more, he began chewing on the edge of his pencil.

Another of Naruto's friends, the silent Aburame Shino, said simply to Kiba, "If his face was run over by a truck, he'd be dead. The truck would crush his skull."

"All the better, man. All the better."

"Why do you want him to be ugly, anyways?" Naruto asked, turning the subject back to the man's looks. Kiba pointed the pencil in his mouth at Naruto, exclaiming loudly, "Because then you'll end up talking about him nonstop! You did the same thing when you liked Kurenai-sensei, you stupid fuck!"

"So what? Fuck, she was hot! Besides, it's not like the whole crush thing lasted long."

"I don't care! Dammit, would you just pick a side, dumbfuck!"

"Both sides can be fuckable, so I like both, dumbass!"

"Do you two ever get sick of saying the word 'fuck'?" Shikamaru asked with a sigh, gazing out the window. The two teens in question glowered at him, but shut up all the same. They remained silent for a moment before the silence became too much for Kiba to bear, causing him to speak.

"Hey, where's Chouji?" Kiba asked Shikamaru, poking him with his pencil languidly. Shikamaru sighed again, as if answering the question were as much work as running across Japan. "He's at home with the flu, I think. But he's in our homeroom."

"Aw, poor guy," Naruto said, grinning toothily at Kiba. "He has to stay home sick and miss out on seeing our hot new homeroom teacher."

"He's going to be ugly," Kiba replied, narrowing his eyes at the blonde in retaliation. Naruto shook his head.






Shikamaru shook his head as Kiba began stabbing Naruto with his pencil and turned his gaze back to the window. Morons.

The classroom door was opened violently and a murderous aura entered the room, silencing everyone--even the two morons. Naruto and Kiba quickly returned to their presentable, upright positions in their seats as the man, probably in his early twenties, strode elegantly to his podium. He set his things on the podium and then turned back to the class, glowering.

The teacher was somewhat ashen with dark, inky eyes and matching hair. His facial expression was like stone and his eyes were void of all warm emotions--actually, more like any emotion. He was walking perfection--not a strand of his hair was out of place, and his suit was pressed perfectly. He wore a dark blue suit with a white shirt underneath, the first button left open. His eyes were strong and demanding, and his presence was intimidating. Just by looking at him you could tell the rumors of him being a hardass were true.

Naruto's eyes brightened at the sight of his homeroom teacher, a smile crossing his face as he sat up straighter. Oh, hell, this guy was hotter than he could've ever imagined! Fuck his bad reputation, his looks more than made up for it.

"Listen carefully, because I'll only say this once."

The cold tone of the man's voice dimmed his smile considerably. The blonde had only half heard what the man had actually said. Hell, his voice could freeze hell over! What, was he trying to push everyone away or something? Aren't you supposed to like teenagers when you're a high school teacher, especially fresh out of college?

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke, and unfortunately, you are now in my class. This class will not be easy for you. It has nothing to do with the fact that everything is complex; it's simply that you're all stupid. All stupidity should be left outside of my classroom. In here, you do things right. There is no room for errors. Mistakes are not to be taken lightly. If you make mistakes, it's another sign of how stupid you are. I don't care if you're dumb as a rock outside of my classroom, but in here, you will be perfection."

It was here that Naruto really began to worry, and taking one quick glance at Kiba, he could tell the brunette felt the same. Neither of them were, per se, stupid, they were just a little...dense. He'd always just barely scraped by in school, and now someone was demanding perfection from him? Oh, no. He would definitely need to put his talent to work this time.

"By the end of the week, I will hate something about every single one of you. If you think there's a chance that maybe I'll make an exception and like you, forget it. If it discourages you even more, you're all ugly."

"Looks like your favorite homeroom teacher has something stuck up his ass," Kiba whispered to him, leaning in and looking worried. Trying to calm himself down, Naruto put on a foxy grin and whispered back, "I'd sure as hell like to stick my own something up his ass, you know?"

"Gross! Gross!" Kiba moved back, clutching his head. "Dammit, Uzumaki, I don't want to know those things!"

"He's glaring at you, Kiba," Shikamaru said lazily, and Kiba immediately shut up.

A little put off by his words, Naruto chose to ignore the rest of the raven's speech and simply stare at him. Talk about being one sexy bastard. Only problem was, regardless of how hot the man was, he was not perfection in school. He was far from it.

Though...the blonde smiled wickedly to himself. He'd always been good at seducing people. His charm didn't work well on women (he'd reluctantly admitted it when it failed on both Haruno Sakura and Kurenai) but it worked pretty damn well on guys. He'd flirted his way to countless things--free passes to Odaiba Amusement Park, tons of free CDs and t-shits at multiple stores down in Shibuya 109, free tickets to concerts in Harajuku, and so much more. He'd never seduced a teacher before, but he doubted it was much different.

Besides, he was Uzumaki Naruto! He was a blonde-haired, blue-eyed god that no man would be able to resist. And so what if the sex god in the front of the room showed as much emotion as a stonewall? He could do this!

"Um, Uchiha-sensei..." An apprehensive girl with brown hair began timidly. "M-my mother always told me th-that, um, that no one can be-can be perfect."

Naruto watched as the Uchiha stared her down until she was cowering in her seat, half-hidden under the desk. He could've sworn he saw a flicker of a malevolent smile on his face as he replied smoothly, "In my class, you'd better prove that statement wrong."

"The hell?! He was serious?" Kiba blurted out, unable to hold it in. The panicking boy grabbed Naruto's shoulders and shook them, exclaiming, "We're dead, man! Dead!"

Kiba didn't have to tell him twice.

"Look, I don't care how hot you think he his, he's a fuckin' monster!" Kiba hissed, pointing his chopsticks at Naruto. It was their lunch period, and in fear of returning late the group had decided to eat inside of the classroom instead of on the roof. Kiba had been freaking out about the Uchiha from the second they'd been dismissed for lunch, and even Shino and Shikamaru felt the need to occasionally give their opinion. "Aren't you the least bit intimidated by what he said?"

"I doubt Naruto listened to half of what he said," Shino interjected as Naruto popped a piece of sushi into his mouth. "The look on his face clearly said he was spacing out half the time, and that's why he's not intimidated."

"How was I supposed to listen to what he said?" Naruto exclaimed with a smile on his face after chewing and swallowing his sushi. "He's practically sex on legs, man! Besides, though his voice is sexy, it's also pretty distant. It doesn't match him."

"It matches that hardass perfectly," Kiba argued, and Shikamaru nodded. "For once, I agree with him."

"Nah, you're all just blind," The blonde replied, waving his chopsticks at them dismissively. "If you look at his face really closely, you'll see that his voice doesn't match him at all."

"Of course you looked at his face closely." Naruto nodded as Kiba looked smugly at him.

"Of course! I had to have his face memorized perfectly for when I jack off to the thought of him later. So I can imagine his face contorted with pleasure as he thru--"

"Gross! Gross! Shut it, dumbfuck, I'm eating!"

"Mm, and all I want to eat is a nice, big helping of the sexy Uchiha-sensei," Naruto said, letting out a deep moan while Kiba looked about ready to throw a chair at the blonde's head. Instead, he turned to the other two teenagers sitting with them and yelled, "Why aren't you guys grossed out?! Didn't you hear him? Did you hear what he said?!"

"We know when to block Naruto out," Shino replied.

"Damn, why wasn't I born with such useful ability?" Kiba whined, scowling at the grinning blonde. Naruto leaned back slightly in his chair, his bento completely empty, and sighed with contentment. Slowly closing his eyes, he spoke softly, much too lazy to speak any louder.

"We should go to Shibuya today."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at the tranquil blonde, folding his arms in front of him on the desk as a makeshift pillow and resting his head on it. "Why?"

"Who needs a reason to go to Shibuya? It's better than sitting around all day."

"You know, Naruto, even I can tell there's a reason you want to go," Kiba replied. He leaned in close to Naruto and narrowed his eyes as if examining him. Naruto lazily opened one eye, glancing at Kiba, and then closed it again, basking in the sunlight pouring onto him from the windows. "Aw, hell. I must be getting real bad at lying if even Kiba can point it out."

"Shut it, goldilocks," Kiba grumbled, blushing slightly. "So I'm a little dense sometimes. Whatever."

"So why do you want to go?" Shino prodded. Somehow, this topic had sparked his interest.

"I feel like I'm going to see Sasuke."

"Whoa, addressing him on first name basis, Naruto!" Kiba exclaimed, his eyes growing wide with mock surprise. He slammed a hand down on his desk hard, causing his empty bento box to rise off the desk slightly. "Just because you've developed Uchiha-ESP doesn't mean you can act so familiar, goldilocks!"

Naruto grinned widely, opening his eyes and staring at Kiba with a devilish glint in his cobalt eyes. "I'll only call him Uchiha-sensei during kinky sex of student and teacher."

"There you go again!" Kiba stood up abruptly, moving a seat away from Naruto before sitting back down. "Damn, why couldn't that fucker be ugly?"

"Hey guys, what's going on?"

Naruto looked away from Kiba to see Ino, Sakura, and Hinata standing there staring at them with pleasant faces. Looking at Sakura now, Naruto kind of wondered why he'd been so hung up on the pink-haired girl. It wasn't that she was a bad person, it was just that she was too...innocently sweet for his liking. Nothing like Sasuke at all.

"We were just talking about going to Shibuya after school," Shikamaru replied as all three girls pulled up seats and sat down. Ino visibly perked up at the sound of Shibuya. "Shibuya? Really? What a coincidence! Sakura, Hinata, and I were also planning to go. We can all go together! It'll be fun!"

"You guys don't want to spend too much time around Naruto, trust me," Kiba began, his getting wide as he stared at the spoken boy. "All he can talk about is Uchiha-sensei. We're only going because Naruto thinks he's going to see the dick there."

"You like Uchiha-sensei, too, Naruto?" Sakura asked in a saccharine voice, smiling and tilting her head slightly. Naruto nodded vehemently, sighing happily.

"He's just sex on legs, man."

"He's my sex on legs, Uzumaki!" Sakura yelled, grabbing Naruto by the collar of his shirt and shaking him like a rag doll. The rest of the group laughed as Naruto unsuccessfully tried to pry Sakura's claws off his collar.

After Sakura had practically killed Naruto, she released him and sat back in her seat primly while smiling. "Anyways, I think we should all go to Shibuya together. There aren't any problems with that, are there?"

Everyone shook his or her head.


"So, Sasu-chan, how was your homeroom?" Sasuke's co-worker and friend, Hatake Kakashi, asked as he slung an arm around Sasuke's shoulders. Having finished their lunches a while ago, Sasuke and Kakashi were simply sitting in the teacher's room waiting for the lunch period to end. Shooting him a dirty look, Sasuke shrugged Kakashi's arm off his shoulders and grumbled, "Don't ever call me that."

"I take it the class went bad?" Kakashi replied, pulling a chair up and sitting on it backwards. Sasuke spun his chair around to face Kakashi, crossing his arms over his chest. "Not really. Most of them fear me."

"Let me guess--" Kakashi put a hand up. "--A few of the other students either worship you or want to do you, right? And that's getting on your nerves?"

"Like I need any students acting up outside of school just so that they'll see me," Sasuke spat, his face darkening. "If I have to go and make formal apologies on behalf of any of those students, I swear, I'll fuck them up myself."

"Fuck them up the ass?"

The raven-haired man shot daggers at Kakashi with his eyes, his hands clenching. "Fuck no."

"Hey, Uchiha!" Shiranui Genma, another teacher at the school, slid his seat over by them. Pulling the toothpick out of his mouth and pointing it rudely at Sasuke, he said brashly, "You pick what side you're batting for yet?"

"Pick a side?" Kakashi repeated, raising an amused eyebrow at the brunette as his mismatched eyes sparkled with mischief. A bright smile spread across his face as he chirped, "Sasuke's obviously gay!"

Genma chuckled, his shoulders bouncing, and put the toothpick back into his mouth. Wisely choosing to simply ignore the two idiots, the Uchiha decided to take a sip of his chilled green tea. "Well, you know, I always thought he looked somewhat like a player."

"A player?" Sasuke's eye twitched in annoyance as Kakashi repeated the word. "I'd have to disagree. If anything, he'd be a pimp, not a player."

"They're the same thing!"

"Nope, that's not true. One has their very own hoes, the other—"

Both Kakashi and Genma jumped up, yelling in shock, as Sasuke's tea splattered all over the place. He held the crushed can firmly in his hand, flames shooting from his eyes at the men as he snarled angrily, "I look like a what?"

"...Uh...you look like a gay sex god and I want to stick something up your ass?" Genma offered, raising his eyebrows as if he thought that was actually the right thing to say. Sasuke rose to his feet, his fists clenched tightly and his glare still focused on the cowering brunette.

"I'll stick my damn foot up your ass, Shiranui!"

"I wonder how that would feel?" He replied thoughtfully, crossing his arms over his chest and looking up in deliberation. The Uchiha smirked evilly, grabbing the front of Genma's dress shirt tightly.

"It won't feel very good."

"Damn. I should run?"

"Too late."


"Shiranui-sensei!" A girl with long black hair jumped out of her seat, calling out Genma's name affectionately when he returned to his classroom, shuffling in with a morose air swirling around him. He slowly looked at her, pain preventing him from moving any faster, and she yelped in terror, jumping.

"Shiranui-sensei! What happened to you! You look terrible!"

He forced out a smile. "Nothing happen," He replied, waving his hand dismissively and flinching as shots of pain went through his arm. "I just had an encounter with an angry Uchiha, that's all."

Needless to say, when Sasuke returned to his classroom, he was pissed.

Normally he didn't punch the shit out of people simply because they said something he didn't like. But lately, he was just feeling more and more pissed off when people associated him with other people. The only person he could allow to do that was Kakashi, simply because the silver-haired man could kick his ass if he tried to fight him. But, really.

Did he look like he liked people?

...Well, okay, maybe being a teacher gave the wrong impression. But it wasn't that he really wanted this job. It was just that being a teacher was valued highly in Japan, not to mention being a private school teacher. And if there was one thing Sasuke had to do, it was be highly valued in Japan. He had to be the best at everything. His class would, once again, have the highest exam scores out of anyone because he was the best teacher there was. So he wasn't exactly the nicest, but still. He would be the absolute best. He always was. He had to be.


Sasuke's head snapped up and his eyes zoned on the source of the sound. It was one of the obnoxious boys, the blonde-haired one. His cerulean eyes sparkled, as if he was pleased for some reason, and he waved his arm around like an idiot. He had tan skin that bordered on a caramel color and unruly blonde hair that almost looked natural, causing Sasuke to briefly wonder if the boy was really born in Japan.

His eyelashes framed his vivid eyes with astonishing perfection; the fact his eyelashes were so elongated should have been awkward, but it was not. He had three thin lines on each cheek, looking somewhat like cuts from a razor, and his lips were a pale pink. The Uchiha narrowed his eyes at the teenage boy, a familiar feeling rising in his gut. He hated him. Oh, hell, how he hated this boy already.


The blonde looked slightly taken aback by his cold tone, moving away slightly and the spark in his eyes slowly dying as he stood. His facial expression began to twist into one of revulsion before he caught himself and settled with replying in a slightly irritated tone, "Aren't you going to ask what our names are?"

"That was integrated into taking roll, wasn't it?"

"You didn't bother to look at any of us when we replied, though," He pointed out, his eyes regaining their spark. "Don't you want to know us better?"

The Uchiha stared at the blonde, all the while the blonde staring back with an innocent smile. This moron obviously knew he most certainly did not care to know them better. Repressing the urge to jump head first into an argument with him, Sasuke stared icily at the boy. "Fine. I'll say this slowly, because I know we have morons in here who won't understand otherwise."

A few girls giggled softly into their hands as Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets. "We will go down the rows and everyone will say their name so I can get to know you better." He looked pointedly at the blonde who scowled slightly, slowly taking his seat. "Starting with you. Right corner, front seat, next to the window. Go horizontally."

A lazy head slowly rose from a bundle of arms, his eyes half-lidded. In a barely audible voice he mumbled, "My name is Nara Shikamaru," before letting his head fall back down into his makeshift pillow.

"A lazy ass, huh, Nara-kun?" As the raven looked at the tired mess, he was immediately reminded of Kakashi. They'd probably be the best of friends. "Whatever. If you're smart, I don't care. Next!"

"The name's Inuzuka Kiba!" The coffee-haired friend of the blonde proudly exclaimed his name, pointing a thumb to his chest and grinning widely. "I'm happy to be--"

"Yeah, I'm going to hate you," Sasuke said curtly, interrupting the boy. Kiba gaped at him, the grin falling. "I know you don't like me already, and frankly, I could care less. Just don't pretend like you do. It's annoying. Next!"

Kiba slumped back into his seat, sighing heavily and muttering under his breath, "Man, he's such a dick."

Grinning widely, Naruto completely forgot he was the one next to Kiba and instead replied to the boy's remark. "You know," He whispered, "I sure wouldn't mind sucking his."

"Gods! Disgusting!" The brunette roughly pushed Naruto's shoulder as the other laughed, enjoying Kiba's discomfort. His laughter slowly died down as a shadow appeared on his desk. Naruto slowly trailed his eyes up to dark orbs like coal that were scowling down at him, obviously pissed.

"Hey, moron. Don't you know what horizontally means?"

Naruto furrowed his eyebrows in anger and replied, "Yeah, it means going across! From left to right or vice versa, I'm not stupid!"

"And since we're going from your left to your right, that would mean the person to the right of Inuzuka-kun is next, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Who's to your right of Inuzuka-kun?"

Suddenly realizing not only was he next, but he was also not making a very good impression on the man he was going to seduce, Naruto stood up and smiled his most charming smile. Raising his right hand up to his forehead as if saluting, he said cheerily, "My name is Uzumaki Naruto, Sensei!"

A smirk began to form on Sasuke's face as he stared at Naruto. The blonde's smile was overwhelmingly dazzling, and those damned eyes...god, how Sasuke wanted to carve them out with a spoon. They were so blue, like the sky on a hot day in June, the sparks in his eyes like the sun. It was disgusting! He hated this kid. He hated him. He was going to have fun this year, he could already tell. He would make Uzumaki-kun's life hell.

"You know, moron, I already hate you. Next!"

"Wait a minute!" Naruto exclaimed, moving into Sasuke's line of sight as the raven looked away from him. He slammed one hand on the desk and exclaimed, "I told you my name's Uzumaki Naruto! Why are you calling me a moron?!"

"I told you earlier," He replied, the smirk quickly falling off his face. "I don't care if I hurt your feelings, I'll say what I want. Now sit. Next!"

The blonde defiantly crossed his arms over his chest, scowling at Sasuke. "I'm not going to sit. Not until you take back calling me a moron."

The tension in the air increased tenfold as the two glared at each other silently. Minutes passed without either moving and the rest of the room remained still. A small shiver ran up Naruto's spine as the intensity of his teacher's glare increased, but he refused to back down. Sex on legs or not, no one got away with insulting Uzumaki Naruto!

"Where do you live, Uzumaki-kun?" The blonde blinked, his eyebrows furrowing in reflex. The sudden question had caught him off-guard, and even more how calm and collected the smooth voice asked. Slowly letting his guard down, he replied, "I live in Yoyogi Uehara..."

"Never mind. Your address should be in your file." The smirk returned as Sasuke scoffed, "Your ass is mine, Uzumaki-kun. Next."

Stunned, Naruto had no reply. His ass was Sasuke's? Did he mean...?

His trail of thought was quickly halted as a hand grabbed his arm and roughly pulled him back down into the metal seat. He turned and looked at Kiba and Shikamaru, who were both looking at him as if he'd gone crazy, but he still wasn't seeing the problem. Sasuke just told Naruto his ass was his! He basically said he wanted to fuck him! Whatever could be the problem with that?

It's most definitely the eyes, Naruto thought, a triumphant grin appearing as he leaned back in his chair leisurely. On the first day, without even much effort, it was hook, line, and sinker. Kiba looked about ready to explode.

"Are you fucking crazy?!" He hissed, his eyes wide. "How in the hell are you so calm?!"

"Oh, I get it," Shikamaru whispered, looking mildly amused. "You think Sasuke actually wants your ass?"

"Well, of course," Naruto replied, raising a questioning eyebrow at Shikamaru. He leaned farther back in the chair and propped his legs up on the desk, ignoring the Glare of Death he received from the Uchiha afterwards. "What else could he have meant? It's my eyes, man, I'm telling you. They're simply irresistible. Even hardass can't resist."

"Dumbass, he meant he's going to fuck you up!" The brunette hissed frantically, looking on the edge of a heart attack. Naruto still didn't understand the big deal, and it was starting to annoy him. "Yes, I know he's going to fuck me, and it's going to be great. Still not getting it."

"He's going to beat the crap out of you!"

"Who shits during sex?"

As Kiba let his head fall onto the desk with a loud thump in frustration, Shikamaru yawned and said slowly, "Naruto. He wants to fight you. And he's going to win."

"What?!" Naruto exclaimed loudly, dropping his feet from the desk and nearly standing up. For the first time since he'd begun talking, he noticed the deathly look Sasuke was giving him that immediately silenced him. He began to cower slightly in his seat, even though he knew he shouldn't show he was intimidated. The Uchiha smirked once again, and Naruto realized that as malicious as it was, it was beautiful. He loved that smirk.

"Oh, yes, Uzumaki-kun," He said once again. "Your ass is most definitely mine."

...And so, we've reached the end of chapter one! What do you all think? I actually kind of like it, though the beginning wasn't too easy. Naruto's situations are the most enjoyable to write. He and Kiba are the shiz, man. I love writing them.

Now, damn. Sasuke's history is going to a bitch to carve out since he's a teacher. But I think I've got it. And don't worry—Naruto is not going to stay afraid of Sasuke. Oh, quite the contrary. You'll see once they meet outside of school. Hehe…

I would love for you to tell me what you thought of it, whether you liked it or not. If you didn't like it, tell me why! Give me pointers! Even if you did! I appreciate it all, not necessarily the just the positive ones. And even flames, because you took the time out of your day to ramble to me about you being anti-SasukeNaruto/gay/anime/whatever! To think I was good enough for you to waste your time on...well, it moves me. :tear:

So, please review. I won't get annoying and repeat it over and over in giant caps, so this'll be the last. Thanks for reading! Keep an eye out for the next chapter!