Potion Mishap

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... or Luna Lovegood. Dammit!

I own no intellectual property dealing with this franchise.


Luna was eating dinner with the Weasleys and discussing a certain boy-who-lived. "He seemed a lot more stressed and unhappy then he usually does when he has to go back to his relatives."

"I tried to cheer him up. I slipped him some 'flights of fancy' in his pumpkin juice a couple of nights before he left. That should have helped with the nightmares, but I didn't see any change." Ginny sunk down in her seat when she realized what she'd said.

"You slipped him a potion? What does it do?" Hermione quickly asked, before Ginny could answer the first question.

One of the twins, Hermione wasn't sure which one, answered, "The 'flight of fancy' potion is a potion that encourages... certain dreams. Of course if a witch were to put one of her hairs in the potion, then it would encourage certain dreams about her."

"Like a love potion?" The bushy haired girl asked, a bit upset.

"It's not anything like a love potion, but it does encourage a bloke to think of a girl as a girl and not just as say, a bloke's best friend's little sister." The other twin smirked as Ron stared at Ginny wide eyed.

"No compelling of emotions whatsoever. In fact if he had strong feelings for someone else he'd dream about them instead, " the other twin confirmed, "It's the magical equivalent of sending someone a love letter, depending on where the hair is plucked from on the witch anyway." He added with a grin.

"Dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked the question everyone was thinking without having to say anymore than that.

"Underarm." Ginny replied, turning red enough to eclipse her freckles.

"What exactly does that mean for the potion?" Hermione asked, over the snickering from the twins and Ron banging his head on the table.

The Weasley parents just chuckled at their children's antics.

Luna smiled dreamily, "It means things can go either way. The hair from the head would cause romantic dreams, while the further towards the sexual organs on the body the more explicit the dreams would be. The underarm encourages a bit of both, depending on the boy's mood and how 'pent up' he is. Ginny basically sent him a love letter with some steamy bits in it, nothing inappropriate for our year. "

"Oh," Hermione said, mollified, "so if someone were collecting someone's hair, then they are probably using it for that purpose?" She asked with a pointed look at the twins that got a blistering glare from Ron.

"We didn't collect any of Hermione's hair." One quickly spouted out, as the silverware around Ron started to vibrate.

Yeah," the other one said, "we collected a batch of Draco and Snape's hair from the shower drain."

The room fell silent for a moment before Arthur awkwardly spoke up, "You know, I'll love you boys regardless..."

He was interrupted before he could finish. "We weren't using it for that purpose."

"Well, not on ourselves anyway."

"We were dosing the two with each other's hair."

"Ginny had us brew up a batch and we massively overdid it, so we decided not to let the extra go to waste."

Arthur and Molly both let out a relieved sigh, while everyone else started snickering. They didn't bother telling the two it was wrong to dose a student and teacher, as they had met both of them before.

"That explains why the two of them were avoiding looking at each other through the farewell feast." Hermione muttered, trying to keep from laughing.

Luna began to pale as something horrible occurred to her. "You don't happen to have any extra potion, do you? I think Harry needs to relax a bit more and he's unlikely to get any considering the dreams he's been having and I'm afraid your addition actually made things worse." She finished apologetically to Ginny.

"What?!" Ginny blurted out shocked that Luna would suggest such a thing, "How can you say that?"

"We had a talk on the train about his nightmares..." Luna began.

"He talked to you about his nightmares, but he doesn't even like to discuss them with me!" Hermione broke in, wondering why one of her best friends would turn to a girl he wasn't as close to for emotional support.

"Because we have similar nightmares. We both still wake up, gasping for air, remembering out mothers dying right in front of us and being unable to do anything about it." Luna explained sadly.

"Oh," Hermione winced, realizing she had swallowed her foot on that one.

"How would that make dreaming of me a bad thing?" Ginny asked, having calmed down a bit, but still upset about what she figured Luna planned on doing.

"Imagine you're seeing your mother dying before your eyes and suddenly you're... involved in a sex dream with a girl that bares more than a passing resemblance to her. With the strong emotions involved, I don't think he'd realize it was Ginny and not still..." Luna trailed off.

"Merlin!" Ron breathed out, before rushing to the bathroom and being noisily sick.

Hermione looked a bit green herself, as did the rest of the table.

"Here," One of the twins said, handing a small chest to Luna, "there's enough potion in there to dose him for half a year."

"That boy is going to make some lucky mind healer richer than the Malfoys if something isn't done." The other twin contributed.

"I'll do what I can," Luna assured them. "Now if you'll excuse me, this really shouldn't wait another night."

Arthur nodded. "I'll side-along you there."

As the two vanished, Ginny began to wring her hands together, much like her mother did when she was worried. "How can I make this up to him? A life debt is easy to repay in comparison!"

Ron returned to the table, still looking a bit green. "I don't know, take up a collection of hairs from all the girls in the school to help wipe it from his memory, making sure to avoiding anyone with red hair," he said thoughtfully, "or anyone he's really close to like... Hermione." he finished quickly, looking down.

Hermione blushed and agreed, "It would probably be like having a dream of your sister."

Ron looked almost as green as when he had rushed upstairs earlier. "Mom, how good are you at obliviating people, cause I'm really afraid to go to sleep now."

Molly winced. "Sorry dear, but that spell is restricted for a reason."

"Oh," Ron replied, looking about as bad as he did when the twins had had surprised him with a tarantula for his ninth birthday.

The twin nearest Hermione nudged her under the table and slipped her a vial of clear liquid.

"I'll be right back," She excused herself from the table and went upstairs.

Ginny looked at the twins hopefully. "I don't suppose you have any more left over."

"Plenty of, Snape and Draco." One answered, trying to make a joke to cheer up the rather traumatized people at the table.

Ginny shuddered. "I'd rather get head from Hermione."

Everyone stared at her.

"I mean, I'd rather get a hair from Hermione's head." Ginny's freckles disappeared again. "Better a romantic dream of a girl then any kind of dream involving those two."

Molly let out the breath she was holding.

The twins looked at each other and shrugged before one passed her a vial with a softly glowing blue potion, letting her know it had already been prepared with a hair.

"Whose?" Ginny asked timidly, staring at the vial like it was a poisonous snake.

"Some muggle bloke named Fabio. He poses for muggle romance novel covers. We collected a bit from him at the request of some of the girls from the upper years who live in the muggle world."

Ginny sighed and downed it.

Hermione returned to the table and poured the potion into Ron's butterbeer, refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

The twins waited until Ron had drank his, before sliding him a clear vial. He looked at it curiously before things had finally dawned on him, whereupon he quickly rushed up stairs to prep the potion, knowing that it was considered bad manners to show which hair you were plucking in front of the person you were giving it to.


Luna stumbled a bit as they landed, but quickly straightened up and marched up to the front door of Harry's Aunt's house and knocked firmly, leaving Arthur standing outside to deal with Harry's guards that she wasn't suppose to know about.

Petunia scowled, seeing one of 'those people' on her stoop.

Before Petunia could say anything she quickly spoke up. "I need to see Harry and unlike Harry I am allowed to use magic outside of school. It's one of the benefits of being a pureblood." She lied glibly. "So you can either let me see him or I can start brightening up your yard with a few quick spells. For instance I really think the roses would look better if they were a softly glowing blue and that hedge would really stand out if I made it produce pineapples and pears."

Petunia jumped back and opened the door widely shooing Luna in. "Upstairs, third door on your right. He's been in there moping since he arrived."

"Who's at the door, pet?" Vernon asked before seeing who it was and turning purple as he prepared to have a massive tantrum.

Luna short-circuited him by tossing him a small bag. "It's gold. Not magic at all, just gold. Melt it down before you sell it and there'll be no connection to anything freakish at all. Money talk, bullshit walks."

Vernon's color returned to normal and he began to grin, as he looked in the bag and saw what was in there.


Harry lay on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, contemplating how right the Dursley's were to call him a freak. Even his scar had stopped bothering him since the first time Voldy had walked in on one of his dreams in the last week and had turned green and immediately left. How freakish were you when even a dark lord couldn't stand to spend a couple of minutes torturing you?

He was taken by surprise when Luna burst into his room and closed the door behind her. Not being one for beating around the bush she quickly summed up his shame. "You've been having dreams of having sex with your mother and moping about how sick and twisted you are."

AN: Ain't I a stinker! Possibly a one shot, but then my muse is giggling evilly again... so I guess not.