Disclaimers: All characters belong to BBC and Kudos –drat!
Summary: Just an idea that came into my head – what if Alex had got back to the present day?
Love letters straight from your heart
Keep us so near while apart
I'm not alone in the night
When I can have all the love you write
(Love Letters, lyrics by Victor Young/Edward Hayman)
I'm not really sure why I'm writing this letter, after all you're never going to be able to read it - I just feel its something I need to do. I'm sorry for the way I left, not saying goodbye or anything. It seemed like one minute I was there with you and the next minute I wasn't.
It's actually been a bit of a wrench, which is something I wasn't expecting. Of course, I have my daughter with me which makes me so very happy. I can't really explain what I'm feeling – I can just imagine you laughing at that! I never seemed to have any problems telling you what I was feeling in no uncertain terms, but you always seemed to take it in your stride, giving back as good as you got. Perhaps that's what I miss – someone to argue with. No-one really does that here, gets really fired up about anything. At least you cared enough to get angry.
Of course, I miss everyone else too; Shaz, Chris, Viv and even Ray – but please don't tell him. And I miss Luigi too! We spent quite a lot of time there together didn't we? Eating, drinking and of course arguing – some of the best times I think. I wonder if you are missing me? Again, I can hear you laugh – which is strange because when I was actually with you, you didn't seem to laugh very much. Perhaps I just had that effect on you.
Well Gene, you had an effect on me that's for sure. I can tell you now – now that I'm at a safe distance. I suppose that's the cowards way out but you were just as bad – you never told me how you felt, always covering up with a joke or some lewd comment. I think the nearest you got was telling me I was 'alright for a posh bird'. That actually meant so much to me as I knew that would be the nearest you would get to telling me you liked me. There were times when I thought, even wished, we would get it together. You see Gene, I may not have shown it, but I actually wanted you, quite badly sometimes. But more than that, I needed you. Whatever your faults, you were always there, even when I didn't want you to be.
And now I miss your physical presence here in my world - your very real and solid presence. In the end, you were not just a "construct" to me; you were a person with real feelings and thoughts, hopes and desires.
Maybe we will meet again some day – I hope so. In fact, consider this open invitation to pop into my life any time you like – I look forward to it.