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I ran into the forest, barely noticing the trees that flew by in a ghostly haze. I didn't know where I was going, and I didn't care. I just ran. I finally had to stop myself before I made it to Canada, and sat down on a moss covered branch. I sat there with my head in my hands, damning my already ruined soul to the pits of hell.
In my head, I saw myself with the one I loved the most. I saw us sitting in our meadow together. I saw the way the wind blew strands of her hair into the sun that had come out of the clouds. I saw how the red came out of the chocolate tresses that I loved so much. And then, I saw her look up at me and smile the smile that I've missed since I walked out of her life. Her eyes, so full of love and forgiveness made my dead heart lurch. I raised my hand to my chest, where my pain was as I succumbed to the sorrow I was feeling. I let the deep sobs rip through my upper body again. It seemed I was doing that a lot lately.
I sat on that moss covered branch, staring up at the moon for how long – I don't even know – and cried. I cried for me, I cried for the life that I could've had, but more importantly…I cried for My Bella. I cried for the life that she had never had, because of me. My sadness was a thick blanket that I willingly wrapped myself in as I felt the coldness of my heart rise to the back of my throat. She had been everything to me, everything. She had been the stars and the moon on the seemingly endless nights. I loved her, God…did I love her. And with my love, I had given her the greatest pain. I was indeed a monster.
I sat for a while longer as the night dragged on, staring up at the full moon while my cries subsided. I realized that somewhere during my outburst, I had made it onto the forest floor. I stood to wipe the bracken off of my backside, muttering to myself about how Alice was going to kill me. I started walking, gauging my way back home when I noticed lights up ahead. At first I thought that perhaps I had stumbled upon a road, but then realized that the lights where stationary and belonged to a house. Curious, I thought to myself.
I walked up to dwelling – correction; mansion – that stood before me and what I saw took my breath away. It was Evelyn LeMaire, sitting at a table, with a baby on her lap. Her hair fell around her as she bounced the baby on her knee. I couldn't stop myself from thinking that it was a little late at night – or early in the morning for a baby to be awake; when I checked my watch. I was only eleven o'clock. Wow…seemed later than that. I watched as her brother came to her side, removing the child from her grasp and taking her into another room. I noticed the scowl that had appeared on her face and grinned despite myself. I observed when her brother came back in, and handed the child back, muttering some about "always works better with 'Auntie Evey'". I listened to her laugh as she took the baby in her arms and whispered in her ear that "daddies just jealous". I chuckled to myself as I watched this display. From the way they reacted to each other, down to the comments that gave one another; I could tell that this was a daily occurrence. The brother, I recognized as Caleb now, walked to where Evey had just been sitting, where he, in turn, sat. Evey came in suddenly, sitting opposite Caleb and they started talking.
"So, what do you think we should do?" Caleb asked.
"I don't think we should do anything really. They aren't a danger." She replied.
I got confused; who could they possibly be talking about. I took in a deep breath and released it steadily. I looked upwards towards the moon again as they continued with their conversation. As I was mourning my loss, I must have blocked everything out, not that it was necessary. I didn't hear their thoughts anyway. I didn't notice when the conversation had ended. I didn't notice when the front door of the house slammed shut. I didn't notice the person that stepped behind me. The only thing that snapped me out of my reverie was a small warm hand as it was placed on my forearm, and a tiny voice. A voice that again reminded me of the soft rustle of leaves as a breeze passed through them.