What's Black and White, and Green All Over?
I do not own Kim Possible or any related characters. They are the property of the Walt Disney corporation and are used without permission purely for non-commercial entertainment purposes.
This is not part of my Small Possibilities series, it's just a silly one-shot fan fic.
"This is weird." said Dr. Possible, busy reading the morning paper.
"What is?" asked Kim. "Another 'Robin Hood' crime?"
"No, but just is paradoxical." said Dr. Possible. "A graffiti artist who 'tagged' where almost no one would see it."
He turned the paper and showed Kim. The headline of the article read "Top Secret Graffiti?" The article explained that the top secret military research facility in Upperton, had been hid by a graffiti artist who had spray painted one wall with what appeared to be riddles. The building was the tallest one on base, but screened by other buildings. As a result, only the top riddle could be seen. "What's Black, and White, and Green all over?".
The other riddles were hidden from view, and the government had refused to divulge what else the vandal had painted on the building.
Kim Possible felt her curiosity tingle. As a world famous hero she could, of course, call in some favors to be let on the base. That, however, would take time. Much easier to just sneak in.
Later that night, Kim Possible, dressed as 'Shego Two', flew over the base fence, dressed in a black and green version of her flying squirrel suit. She quickly worked her way from rooftop to rooftop, using crystal claws to climb higher buildings, until she had the best view possible of the riddle bedecked wall.
"What is Black, and White, and Green all over?"
"What has jaws but never eats?"
"What is easier to get in to then out of?"
"If you see me coming, you avoid me. When you find me by surprise, you'll never leave me of your own desire."
Kim stared. Except for the first riddle, they all seemed to describe…
Kim turned, startled. The words had come from behind her. Something was wrong… very wrong. Her nostrils flared and she realized that the smells of the military base…. Electrical ozone, concrete, sweat, and motor oil… were now joined by another scent. One almost sickeningly sweet but which for some reason, faintly, she associated with her mother.
Before she could put a name to the face who was staring down at Kim, Kim found herself falling to her knees.
"Good night, princess." the voice said as Kim found her eyes closing, falling completely unconscious.
Kim moaned, opening her eyes. Her head was pounding. She looked around. She was in a dimly lit bedroom. A small table was next to the bed, holding a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin. The bottle was open, with two aspirin tablets in the lid of the bottle. Judging from the condensation on the glass, it had been there for awhile. Kim hesitated for a minute, then reached for the aspirin. If Shego had wanted her dead, there were a lot easier ways she could do it then just poisoning Kim. Kim gulped the water down, until only ice was in the glass. The anesthetic gas Shego had used to knock Kim unconscious had also left Kim dehydrated.
Once the headache had faded, Kim turned on the room lights and looked around. The main door was locked, with no way to open it from the inside. The bedroom was as anonymous as a hotel room, with two other doors leading to a small bathroom and an even smaller closet. Much to Kim's surprise, she was dressed still dressed in the green and black jumpsuit she had been wearing when she had fallen into Shego's trap, but the ankle pouch and the hidden pockets of the suit were empty. In addition, the crystal growing cells she had taken from her dad's lab and placed in the suit had been all removed or disabled. The closet held several of Shego-style jumpsuits, tailored to Kim's size.
Kim went into the bathroom and received yet another shock. The wig she had been wearing was gone, but her hair had been dyed jet black. A few minutes with the sink running on full convinced Kim that the dye was not going to wash out. Kim finally stepped out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed. Besides the table, the bed was the only furniture in the room. An armored glass dome was centered over the bed, undoubtedly holding a security camera.
After a few minutes, the bedroom door unlocked and opened. Shego was standing outside, holding a metal tray. "Good morning, cupcake. I was wondering when you'd wake up. Ready for breakfast?"
Shego carried the tray in, apparently forgetting the open door behind her. Kim stood up slowly, and reached for the tray. As soon as she got her hands on it, she flicked it up. The metal cover fell off, revealing the tray underneath was empty. Not worrying about that, Kim dashed past Shego and out the open door.
Shego sighed. "So predictable." she muttered, picking up the tray and cover.
Kim dashed through what was apparently some small lair. It appeared to be in the shape of a dome, with a long circular corridor surrounding various rooms. She ignored most of the doors, seeking one that led out of the ring. Finally spotting one, she opened it and prepared to step out into…
Kim froze, hands gripping the door frame to keep herself from falling out. The dome was inside some massive cavern, the jagged floor of the cavern over a hundred feet below. With her battle suit or rocket pack, Kim could easily have made the jump. If she still had her squirrel suit, she would have risked it. As she was, she had no chance of surviving a fall from this height. Metal cables held the dome lashed to the roof of the cavern, offering support for the dome with no visible way or hope of escape.
"Cozy, isn't it?" asked Shego. "Dr. Drakken originally designed this lair to be completely inaccessible. A little TOO inaccessible, as it happened… but it's perfect for my plans."
"What do you want, Shego?" demanded Kim, stepping back from the long drop and closing the door.
"It's 7 in the morning." said Shego. "I want what every villain wants." Shego paused, smiling at Kim's discomfort. "Breakfast."
Shego led Kim to the kitchen of the mini-lair, where two plates had been prepared. While a full set of cutlery had been laid out by Shego's plate, the other plate only had a small plastic spoon.
"Not taking any chances?" said Kim.
"You only have yourself to blame." said Shego, sitting at the fully appointed plate and picking up a knife and fork. "You stole my image. Surely you had to expect…. Consequences."
"This is some sort of bizarre punishment for copying you?" said Kim. "What's your plan?"
Shego smiled. "Simple, my dear. If you want to be me… I'm going to make you the best me you can be."
Shego began eating, ignoring Kim's further questions and demands. Finally, Kim picked up the spoon and began eating the scrambled eggs Shego had prepared for her. Much to Kim's surprise, she discovered Shego was actually a pretty good cook.
Kim finished and set the spoon down on the plate. "What now?"
Shego finished the last bite of steak and eggs and placed her cutlery down as well. "Well, I don't know about you, but I like to start with a run after breakfast.". Shego's hands lit up and she threw a blast of fire at Kim's feet. "Start running."
Kim found herself running down the circular hallway that was the outermost part of the mini-lair, Shego in hot pursuit. Whenever she tried to slow down or try one of the doors leading to an inside room, Shego threw a plasma blast to discourage her. Opening an outer door just showed more of the cavern, lit by halogen light panels built into the sides of the lair.
After an hour, Kim found herself exhausted. She considered herself in extremely good shape, but was wiped out. Shego, while breathing hard and sweating, seemed ready to keep running for another hour. "Not bad, cupcake…" Shego said. "But you'll need to get much better before you're worthy to be me.". Shego led Kim back to the bedroom Kim had woken up. "Get showered and changed. Lock picking class in ten minutes."
Much to Kim's surprise, lock picking class was just this. Shego explaining, then demonstrating how to use a set of lock picks and other tools to open a variety of mechanical locks. She then announced that Kim was going to be locked in the training room, and not allowed lunch until she got out.
By the time Kim had managed to get the third lock on the door open and exited the room, her stomach was growling. To make it worse, Shego had obviously had time to prepare two lunches and finish eating hers, while the plate for Kim had cooled. After lunch, Shego had led Kim to a room that was a cross between a set of monkey bars and an obstacle course, laid out in three dimensions.
Only after making Kim work to exhaustion did Shego allow Kim to break for dinner. As they ate, Kim was finally able to get Shego to answer a question that involved more then the immediate activity.
"How long do I plan to keep you here?" asked Shego, repeating Kim's last question. "Until your training is complete. I'd be amazed if even Global Justice or your little friend Wade could find you here… it's been years since Drakken built this little lair, and the rock overhead quite effectively blocks radio signals and all modern search equipment. Seismic and gravitational effect scans would reveal this large cavern, but that's about it."
"What is this all about?" demanded Kim again.
Shego sighed. "Kim…" said Shego, for once not bothering to use a nickname. "You chose to dress up and pretend to be me. If it was just once, I'd have accepted it as a whim. But you kept doing it. Obviously, you were getting a thrill being the bad girl."
"No!" said Kim, automatically denying it.
"Then why did you keep putting on the suit?" asked Shego. She waited for a moment, then stood up. "I thought so. Shower and get to bed, you should be able to find your room by now. And don't think about disobeying me or trying to escape during the night. I'm the only one here who knows how to get out of this lair, and you'd never be able to find it on your own. Good night, Kimmy. Sleep well. Most likely I'll kill you in the morning."
Kim squeaked in surprise at the threat. Shego rolled her eyes. "What, you never watched The Princess Bride?" Shego demanded.
The days after went the same way, except that Shego insisting on the run before breakfast. After breakfast was training in various forms of burglary in stealth till lunch, then physical training in the afternoon.
Kim had always considered herself in peek physical condition. Compared to 95 of the population, she was. Shego, however, had an edge in size and physical condition. As days turned into weeks, Kim had to come to the conclusion that in many of her fights with Shego, Shego could have won rather then letting Kim win or running from Kim. Finally, one dinner, Kim confronted Shego about it.
Shego picked up her glass of water and stared at it, swirling around it. "Could I have won most of our fights? Kim, from my point of view, most of our fights I did win."
"What do you mean?" demanded Kim, pushing a lock of hair back behind her ear. By now, she had gotten used to the fact that her hair was now colored black.
"Why was I fighting?" asked Shego. "Because Dr. Drakken paid me too. To stall you while he stole something, or he tried his latest project, or whatever. I was his bodyguard. Every time we escaped before the police could arrest us, every time I kept you busy that minute Dr. D needed for his latest scheme, every time I stole something long enough to get it to Dr. Drakken even if you came and took it back… that was a win. About the only win you ever got on me was after you put on that battle suit… AND threw me into an over-charged radio tower."
"I was still ticked about Eric's betrayal." said Kim.
"He was a synthodrone." said Shego. "Is really a betrayal if all he was doing was what he'd been created to do?"
"Seeing him and you together.." Kim said, then hesitated. "It just made me angry. Very, very angry."
"At him, for apparently preferring me to you?" asked Shego. "Or at me, for preferring him to you?"
Kim hesitated, not sure how to respond.
"Eric wasn't real, Kimmy." said Shego. "I am. So are you. All your life, you've been cast into this mold of 'Perfect Miss Possible', just like Eric was cast in the mold to convince you he was the perfect boy for you… and then turn on you. The main difference between you and Eric is you can break the mold."
"Being here was your idea." said Kim.
"I didn't dress you up in that suit." said Shego. "Dr. Drakken may have forced you the first time to wear it… but you chose to put it back on by yourself. Some part of you wanted to be me… to be the bad girl, for a change."
Shego stood up, for once leaving her dinner unfinished. "I'm going to meditate. Finish up and get some sleep."
It was the first time Shego had ever left the dining room without putting her dishes away. Kim hesitated, then picked up the knife Shego had been using and tucked it into her ankle pouch. Taking the potential weapon seemed, in some way, to be a betrayal of Shego's trust. Kim found that trying to tell herself that all she was doing was what Shego would do in her position didn't help at all.