Cherry Blossoms Kiss My Lifeless Limbs

I remember that moment when I first entered the Earth. I assumed that I would be human once more; be Adèle and live with new companions that I could call as my new family. But this was not to happen, I soon realized as I was still in the form of a spirit.

Some of you might think that because I was a mere illusion of my first human existence, I would be floating around and be able to travel wherever I want to in this world of yours. This was not the case. I was aware that I was in your world, but all I could do was use my eyes and watch. I could not feel, speak, touch, taste, much less talk or communicate with your kind. And I could not move.

You might not be able to envision this or imagine it in your minds, as you are human and have evidently never had the eyes of a spirit. I saw everything in this planet of yours in a close view, from the fruit vendor in Saudi Arabia to the group of adolescents who paint on walls in brilliant rainbows of colors in America. I looked at the supple limbs of these beautiful humans and their garments and their faces full of life and everything I once had. Everything that encompassed my vision was so vivid in color and detail that man himself could not possibly see it even with their microscopes or their computers.

I could even see the souls of people who died go past me, their eyes looking up and their arms reaching towards the sky. I also saw the ghosts of children and elders roam around with that impassive look on their faces, never really knowing if they were ready to embrace their destiny of living in New Existence or, perhaps, as souls for the rest of eternity.

I didn't understand what I was supposed to do to become human once more at that moment. I always thought that once I entered the Sea of Mortals, I would regain my human form once more. I began to ponder about this for a while; my gaze affixed to this exquisite land of trees with pink leaves and people with elegant alabaster skin and small hooded eyes the color of bistre.

And that was when I saw her.

She was a lovely little girl that looked to be four years of age with enchanting wide eyes the shade of the fields my mother used to take me to once the umber of clouds cast upon it its kiss of a shadow. Her hair was light brown with the whisper of the sweetest tinge of honey and her skin was pleasantly darkened from the rays of the sun.

She sat on a narrow bed covered in white sheets of fabric. The small wooden table by the window of her room had five red roses in a clay vase that had India engraved on it. I couldn't hear what the man on her left side said, but I could sense the concealed sorrow emanating from him. His brown eyes had dark circles around them, indicating his being tired. I felt pity for him.

I watched the little girl as she looked away from the man. She wasn't able to understand it for she was much too young to do so, but I knew the immense guilt she had for not being able to make the gentleman next to her smile again.

That was when I started to comprehend the situation. As spirits, we could not only see the physical characteristics, but also the thoughts and emotions that someone has. The man was her father named Fujitaka Kinomoto, and the girl was…

Sakura Kinomoto.

How strange it is that her name bears the reason on how I took notice of her: cherry blossoms. It suited her quite well.

I observed her as she woke up and then drifted off to sleep for six moons and seven mornings, her fragile body withering away to the sickness she had. A forlorn emotion started to seep into me. I didn't know why she was sick; I didn't have any ways to heal her or comfort her. I was all the more sad that such a happy girl would suffer so much. At one point, I even thought that she looked back at me with that small smile of hers.

On the seventh night, that's when my second chance to become mortal once again happened.

Two young girls were in the room now; one lying limp on the hospital bed, one standing next to the table with the clay vase. And at a moment of immense sorrow, I wept. But no tears would come out, for I was a spirit. This is because I knew; I understood.

I understood that Sakura Kinomoto, even for only a few seconds of what I would like to believe as friendship when she smiled at me, was dead. My exquisite, fragile little friend was dead.

Her soul stared back at me with those translucent marble-like eyes of hers, small pudgy fingers touching one of the roses in the clay vase. It had a whisper of white light radiating from each finger, this hand of hers. And at a delusional moment, I called out to her soul, making sure that I pronounced her charming name with as much amorous fervor as I could. I didn't know if her soul could hear me or comprehend my words.

Understand that souls and spirits are different, contrary to what you mortals believe. Souls are vaguer in appearance than us spirits. They are neither living nor dead, for they exist at the thread of distinction between what is the New Existence (spirit form) and the First Life (human form).

Her soul continued to look at me; fluorescent hospital robes - the same as the one her mortal self was wearing- appearing to be part of her soul's almost fluid skin. Did she… understand me? I called out to her again: Sakura, I said, talk to me.

At last, she spoke.

The way she uttered out her words was like one quick motion that only flows through the mind. Her scarlet lips remained unmoving against her luminous alabaster skin. She was solid and air at the same time, this form of hers. I started to envy her otherworldly beauty. As spirits, we looked much like our mortal appearance, only much more detailed and, ironically, alive in color.

She said, "Who are you?" and it sounded surprisingly like a person's voice. I answered "I don't know," for this was true. In Les Beau Ciel we held no names, for the One God thought of all of us as one and the same: his loves. I wasn't Adèle anymore, please remember. I was of New Existence now. But that wouldn't be for long. I was going to be human once more, and I reveled at that idea. At that point, though, I wasn't sure how I could be mortal again.

Sakura's soul gazed at her human self. There was no expression on her face. "I want to go back." The way she said things was almost melodious. She glanced at me. "But I can't."

She could not shed any tears either, but I could see her face contort into an anguished expression. "Why…? Why can't I…?" she knew she was dead, I saw it in her eyes.

The door swung open as her father and a stout old man in a long white coat ran towards Sakura's lifeless body. The strange box at the left side of her bed had a straight green line on it. I stared at Fujitaka and sensed the desperation in him. There were thin streams of water flowing out of his eyes of bistre.

"Please…" Sakura's soul tried to reach out to her father. "Please, don't cry…" he chubby arms were raised up to him. "Daddy! I can't… I can't…! Please…" she swiveled around to face me, her little feet appearing to float as she walked towards where she believed I was. "Do something, please! What's happening?" her features were scrunched up now. Still, no tears would come out. There wasn't any form of relief that could be granted to this pitiful soul of hers. Her father had his hands on his face now; his shoulders shaking uncontrollably as he slowly knelt down next to Sakura's bed.

What was I to do? What could I do? I wasn't the One God, I was only a spirit!

I looked at Sakura and then to her soul. And then, I begged. Not to the One God, but to Sakura's human self. "Please, help me," I said over and over again like a prayer. I couldn't bear to see Fujitaka anymore as his mouth was opened for him to cry out his pain.

I kept on chanting, pleading, crying out. Just like the way my mother did when she made a deal with the One God.

…Then it happened.

The next thing I knew, I could feel something soft beneath me. The distant memory of my human senses was back.

And then I realized that from that day forth, I would exist as Sakura Kinomoto.



After Note: --dodges rotten tomatoes- I'm sorry if this chapter didn't make any sense! (:c) I will explain what happened to Sakura's soul on the next installment. I'm juggling two fanfics now: this one and A Story of Chestnuts and Mocha, so I didn't make this chapter longer than I intended. Next parts will involve Syaoran, so watch out for that! (;D)


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TFNYY- I promise you, the ending won't be sad. (:D) But then again… it really would depend on my mood (:c) Thanks for the review! It was awesome.