One shot: Mike dyes his hair brown and gets a fake moustache in order to impress Bella.

Disclaimer: As much as I would like it to be mine; it doesn't – therefore Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.


I was in the best mood ever, it was a cloudy day; not a ray of sunshine anywhere. Usually this would have irritated me but that was until I met Edward and the rest of the Cullen's. My good mood was not only the fact that I had all day with Edward but also that Mike, Eric, Tyler or any of the other guys for that matter had tried to 'chat me up' or impress me (which it obviously never did).

Just as I had thought that I instantly regretted tempting 'fate'. Edward tensed up behind me and although an amused expression drew across his face his eyes betrayed him showing a glint of fury. He was clearly finding it difficult to choose between the two emotions; one of them wanting to laugh at the idiocy of the boys at this school or the second which was to cause them pain for thinking about me in that way. From across the table Alice came out of her trance and flew into a fit of giggles, making Edward let out a low growl warning her not to mess with him.

Just at that moment Mike rushed into the cafeteria his eyes automatically glancing over to the table that the Cullen's and I always sat at and he started his trek over to our table (bye great day).

I hadn't noticed before but Mike had dyed his hair a deep brunette and was wearing a fake moustache.

"Hey Bella" Mike said trying to sound seductive but instead made his voice sound scratchy "Can I call you Jacob?"

My eyes widened in worry at the irony of this 'chat up line' I glanced up at Edward to see his expression he seemed to be finding this very amusing, which intrigued me as to how this would end up-Mike decapitated or all in tact.

"Because you're crackers" He winked at me and I somehow managed to prevent myself from gagging.

"Oh-err-um" I stuttered, was he expecting me to say something?

Just as I was trying to think of something witty to shoot back at Mike (I mean how was I meant to respond to something that cheesy?) Recognition hit me and I burst out into fits of laughter clenching my hands to my sides as if trying to stop my body from falling apart. I tried desperately to stop my hysterics and started to take in huge gulps of air but it ended up being a futile attempt as my laughing just grew more hysterical by the second because of my light headedness due to the lack of oxygen entering my system.

Everyone in the cafeteria had stopped what they were doing and stared wide eyed at me and my hysterical state-they must have thought that I was having a breakdown or something.

The Cullen's looked across at me from their seats at the lunch table-all their expressions similar having their right eyebrows raised and their faces twisted between confusion and amusement. Looking up at them had worsened the situation because it had brought on a heavier round of hysterics.

"She's hysterical maybe you should slap her Alice" Emmett chortled. (Where had I heard that one before-oh right-if I wasn't laughing too hard I would have rolled my eyes-maybe Alice should slap me).

Mike looked down at me confused at my reaction to him, I tried desperately to breathe and contain my laugher but I still couldn't so in between gasping breaths and fits of hysterics I managed to gasp "He-looks-like-H-H-HITLER!"

With that the whole cafeteria cracked up with laughter and Mike ripped off his fake Moustache, threw it on the floor by my feet and stormed out of the cafeteria trying to maintain as much dignity as he could muster-which I must admit wasn't a lot. The wise cracks from the students didn't help him either as I was sure that I saw people saluting him and making wise cracks about Nazis. I could have sworn that even Jasper and Emmett had run to the door of the cafeteria to join in on the jibes and had asked mike for directions to Auschwitz. I was sure that Mike would be getting this constantly from now on but I was also grateful that this might make him too uncomfortable to come and 'hit on me' again I really have had enough.

"You're absolutely wonderful" Edward cooed and bent down to give me a kiss.

"Yeh…I'm just sad that I didn't get a picture." I sighed.

"Ah-but the rest of us did"

"Really?!" Edward laughed at my excited response "That's going to look perfect on my facebook!" I chuckled.


A/N-Please Review and let me know what you think :D-hey and if you've not already could you check out my other stories? :) Thank you! x