Brotherly Love: The Autobots have a prisoner who is being … stubborn … and Sam can't help but make an observation. The kind of observation which only a human male's mind could perceive. One-shot, 2007movieverse. Crackfic.

Disclaimer: If only, if only, the little plot bunny sings.

Rating: Teen … reference to adult themes.

Image: Bromance Time by Lanveril

Brother oh brother,

Open thine eyes.

Its been forever,

Come sit by my side.

"Get away from m-me you Autobot slang!"

Sam winced as he watched the Decepticon struggle against his restraints in a weak, exhausted manner as his cell door was opened by Prowl, whose wings were hanging in a depressed manner. After a moment of staring at the other enforcer, did Prowl slowly step aside allowing the next mech into the cell.

Ratchet gave an almost sad look to the black mech, which so resembled Prowl, before he spoke to the Decepticon, "Are you going to cooperate this time, or do you have to be forced?"

Barricade's optics trembled from offline to a dull red as he raised his head, glaring at the others. "B-bite me!"

A sigh escaped the medic as he entered the cell completely, quickly followed by Prowl and Hound. Once inside the cell, it was easy to see how both were slightly larger than the Decepticon, or simply stated: the Saleen was outclassed.

A scream of rage filled the cell.

Outside the cell, Sam watched as the small hoard of Autobots struggled to restrain the black mech. Prowl was presently holding the other enforcer's left arm and leg while Hound held onto the right side.

Sadly, for Sam, who was loving this divine type of torture, Ratchet then blocked the human's view. Truthfully, Sam didn't need to see to know what was happening as the Decepticon's enraged cries became gurgles. After a moment or two, another sigh escaped the medic and he stepped out of the cell, sub-spacing a container. Hound quickly followed after. Prowl, though, remained behind, casting a forlorn glance at his near-clone before slowly rising and following suite.

Barricade glared at his captures for a moment before whimpering and slumping against the wall, a small amount of energon leaking down the side of his jaw. The human quickly took a step to the side as a slightly disgruntle Ratchet stomped forward, crossing his arms as he watched Prowl lag behind to lock the cell door. There was a soft click as the cell door was locked, but Barricade didn't even look up, he merely gagged as if he detested the energy he had just been forced to consume.

Ratchet shook his head as he watched those red optics offline, the Decepticon collapsing into a recharging pile of metal. "The bloody slagger. Why doesn't he just intake his energon? I don't know how much longer we can force feed him."

"As long as it takes," added Prowl, a tint of sadness glimmering in his optics before his usual logical tempo picked up, "We will not let him offline in such a way. Our kind is in small numbers the way it is. Especially, the Decepticons … they have been slaughtering each other for control."

The Autobot's voice trembled slightly, showing his emotion for only a moment as he spoke softly, "… I can't just stand by and watch my brother deactivate, Ratchet."

Ratchet shook his head and put a reassuring hand on the enforcer's shoulder. It was rare for Prowl to show his emotions so freely, being as logical as he was, but this was his brother; the very same brother whom he had been separated from because of the war. Ratchet couldn't exactly relate, but he thought he understood. He understood enough that he would help Barricade until the very end … if only for Prowl.

The medic gave one more soft pat on the abnormally still mech's shoulder.

"We'll keep trying, but Barricade has to start in-taking his own energon and stop purging his tanks," Ratchet ignored the sinking of Prowl's wings and continued, "All we can do is try, but in the end Barricade will decide if he wants to deactivate or, hopefully, live and later defect … Perhaps you should speak to him when he awakes. That may sway his behavior."


Sam settled in his usual spot against the wall, way out of the way of the Autobots and their struggling captive. Yet, he was close enough so he could have a good show. Now, don't look at Sam the wrong way. Yeah, he hated the jerk-trooper, but now he watched for another reason since his fear of the Decepticon had started to fade just like Barricade's health was. He watched the decay of a nightmare and the death of a monster. It was almost a morbid curiosity as different Autobots would take turns holding the Decepticon still as he struggled against them, only to ultimately lose in the battle. Leaving Sam to wonder … would the Decepticon lose when it came to living or lose when it came to dying as well?

Yet, it seemed that today would not be answering that question. For some reason Prowl had put out an arm, stopping Red Alert and Sideswipe who were suppose to help him today.

The officer gave them both a look, his optics fading slightly, his vocals soft, "Let's see if he'll intake on his own first, alright?"

Prowl received not even a grumble from Sideswipe as the two other mechs left the enforcer to his brother. Everyone knew not to test the cruiser when it came to the subject of Barricade. In fact, Sam was about to sneak out of the room as well when Prowl started speaking, presumably forgetting Sam was there. The human stopped and fought his internal urge to spy on the mech from his hiding place in the shadows. In the end, he didn't really have to decide because the mech had already started to speak to his brother.

"Barricade," came Prowl's voice, so soft and dragging that it literally bled a calm emotion into the air, "You have to start in-taking your own energon. Your systems won't be able to take the stress much longer."

Barricade bared his metallic fangs at his sibling, the Decepticon's vocals carrying the energy his body could not, "I'd rather deactivate than be stuck on this infernal planet with only you pitiful Autobots for company."

Prowl didn't even twitch at the remark. He just continued to stand outside of the cell patiently waiting for his turn to speak.

In fact, that eternal patience of Prowl's was half the reason Barricade had to strike out again. The Con was finding that his wits would not withstand the other's patience for much longer, his voice grinding a harsh insult, "Especially you, Prowl."

Prowl watched his brother for a moment, his processors rummaging about for an answer that could satisfy his brother's dissatisfied nature. Was it really that bad to be in the company, not to mention protection, of his brother? The whole situation was starting to drag on him, but he would not give up that easily. He was known for his patience.

"Barricade this is for your own good," his vocals suddenly tightened, "As your older sibling it's my job to take care of you in our creator's absence, especially now that the war is-"

"You are not my brother," hissed Barricade, trying to hold the ire in his voice.

It was getting harder and harder to remain angry at his bro- the Autobot, especially when the slagger would come and see him every day, talk to him … love him. The Decepticon hissed at the thought. He had to stop thinking like that when it came to Prowl. If he didn't keep fighting, he'd soon give up and be nothing more than his brother's shadow: a good, little, reformed Autobot.

"I have no brother."

Prowl stood tall under the insult's weight. At least Barricade was talking to him instead of remaining silent. It proved that he was at least making headway, little steps at a time, and if he was patience and persistent enough perhaps he'd win his brother back ... even if it was just a shadow of the former brother he had left behind before the war.

The SIC shook off the dark thought, stating, "I'll leave you to your energon … I'll talk to you in a little while."

Sam had seen many things, but never such a sad expression on Prowl's metallic facial plates. The strange thing was … he was sure he saw the same glint in Barricade's optics.

The being he had once feared.

Barricade took one of his long sharp claws (well, they had been sharp until the medic had ground them down) and pushed the energon cube a little closer to the bars, away from himself. It was then that he heard soft echoing and looked up. He stared at the human for a moment waiting for Lady's Man to say something, to yell and scream, or to just throw its rage at him. Instead, he received a sad look. It was almost a pitying look.

"You know," echoed Sam's voice over the large, empty room. "Prowl's never going to give up."

"That should be the least of your concerns right now human. You should be fearing me, and not worrying of my bro-the Autobot," came a growl, yet it didn't hold much energy behind it. He had almost called Prowl his brother again. He had no brother. He had no brother. Why must he keep reminding himself?

"Afraid of you? How can I be afraid of a broken pawn?" asked Sam as he ignored his internal instincts for survival. Why was he doing this again? An image of Prowl's sad optics filled his mind. Oh yeah, he was a push over and an overall good-doer. That was why.

Barricade said nothing to the insult. He merely growled and pulled his form to the back of his cell, shutting down his optics. He had to spare his energy and not waste it on fighting with his human. He'd have to fend off his brother once again today. Why wouldn't that Autobot just give up and let Barricade fade like his admired leader? Was that really so much to ask for?

Sam watched the other being for a few moments, feeling the chill in the air. It was fairly obvious that he wasn't going to be able to change Barricade's mind. Not that he minded watching the Autobot's crowding into the Decepticon's cell to hold him down. It was better than cable. In fact, it was like a derange version of mud wrestling. Minus the mud and the sexy girls fighting each other, touching each other purposely or not, and to be blunt: mud wrestling always reminded the human of one giant … … …

The human male suddenly smiled as his thoughts dragged into the deeper, more primitive parts of his psyche. Oh, this was going to be fun.

"So," added the human, taking a lazy stance outside of the cell, "You know I've watched them "feed" you before, yet I can only think one thing."

The mech sighed. Did he really want to know? Well, then again, it wasn't like he had anything else to do until Prowl showed back up. "What fleshling?"

"Well, it kind of … nah. You don't want to know," added Sam as he threw out the bait.

Barricade did not have the patience his brother did and was not in the mood for games. His voice was grinding as he barked, "Tell me or you might find yourself missing the lower extremities of your body!"

Put his hands up in surrender, Sam admitted, "Well … You know when the Autobots kind of gang up on you? It almost looks like a huge groping session," a choking noise escaped the Saleen's engine and his optics were automatically back on, but the human continued despite that, "Yeah, in fact, it kind of looks like a robot orgy."

The mech sat up straight, gapping for a moment as he replayed the human's last sentence to make sure that was what he really had just heard. He knew what an orgy was because of that pervert Frenzy and – and-

"So," continued Sam as he relished in the waves of shock coming off the mech, "When your brother helps force feed you, is it like … an incest orgy?" asked the human in a stumbling way as he pretending to be revolted by the idea. Sam even went so far as to act like he was resisting the urge to barf by throwing a hand over his mouth.

After a moment or two of fake gagging noises and silenced giggles, did Sam speak, "Ugh … I think I just threw up in my mouth."

Barricade's optics twitched as he stared at the human. He couldn't believe it, or stop it for that matter after that. He quickly had an image of an Autobot orgy happening in his cell. Metallic whimpers and pleas echoed throughout the brig, and then one of those horrible Autobot twins (the yellow own was Sunstreaker right?) opened his legs while someone else started to lick his face … it was … it was –

"Ugh!" howled Barricade slamming his hand over his optics while he pushed himself tightly against the wall of his cell, "MY OPTICS! My brother would never do that. Never! Shut your mouth, you filthy little human!"

The human tried not to grin as he started licking his t-shirt, pretending to get a nonexistent barf taste off of his tongue. It was by the fifth lick did he realize what kind of ammunition he truly had against Barricade. The human quickly buried the grin on his face and got closer to the Decepticon's cell.

"Never, you say? I don't know about that Barricade. You seem to be building up this starvation act if you ask me," and here comes the death blow, "I could have sworn I saw your clawed hand cup Ratchet's aft last week." The human almost laughed again, but managed to keep it down. Now time for the mental torture. "And I've seen the way you ogle Ironhide. He thinks you're glaring at him, but I know it's something else entirely different and much more sensual."

"No!" hissed the Decepticon as a mental image of Ironhide doing some rather raunchy things filled his CPU, and he could do nothing to stop it. His systems were so weak from energon starvation that he found himself at the mercy of the human's words, but he'd still try and put up a fight. He was a Decepticon after all!

"That's a lie! They are the ones coming in and touching me! They are the ones that keep repeatedly forcing that crap down my systems!"

The human was silent for a moment, thinking of his next move as if this whole thing was a mocking game of chess. After his next move had been established, this time Sam let the smile crawl onto his face and he made sure Barricade witnessed it. He had to make sure to thank Simmons for the finer things in physiological torture … the guy was odd, but he sure knew his physiological torture.

"Don't mock my intelligence 'Cade. What's this lie about "they"? I think it's you who's letting them force feed you, aren't you?" purred Sam, and if it were possible Barricade began to blush. Sam's grin was now crawling from ear to ear by this point. "You like their touches, don't you Barricade? You like your brother's "special" attention, don't you?"

Barricade could no longer speak. Deep down a part of him was starting to agree, but no! No! The human was playing mind games! Ugh, he was going to expel his tanks if the human gave him on more image of being touched by his brother. Really, what kind of training do humans teach their offspring anyway? He didn't know torture was among the fleshings lessons.

"Do not!" growled out the Con. "You filthy little slagger!"

Sam licked his lips and put his hands behind his back, puffing out his chest as he stood before the Decepticon. The checkmate to this game was in his next words, "Show me I'm wrong then. Start drinking your energon. If you do, then it proves you're not into giant, incest, robot orgies. Then, and only then, will I admit that I was wrong."

A little squeak actually escaped the human when the Decepticon suddenly lunged forward. Sam only had time to throw his hands over his eyes and accept death. Death better have cookies! Yet, it didn't come and the human opened his eyes to make double sure he wasn't dead. The only thing he witnessed was that the energon cube was gone from its place on the floor. The human nearly laughed as he watched the Decepticon tilt the cube back to get the very last drop into his systems. Finally, the whole show ended with a crunch as the mech slammed the container down near the bars of his cell.

A wave of hot air hit then the human as the Decepticon got down into Sam's face (as much as he could with the bars that is) and hissed, "I … do not … want to … spark… my brother … nor any other AUTOBOT! Now leave!"

"Okay …" whispered Sam before he hightailed it out of the room, trying not to laugh as he passed Prowl.


A few days passed by and Sam hadn't been to the brig since his mind games escapade. Mostly because he had class, but that was beside the point. Anyway, the human's mind was miles from the worry of Barricade. He was busy rambling off his weekly events to 'Bee as they walked down the hall. It was rather pleasant in the Ark actually; the twins weren't in sight; Ratchet was chasing Jazz around with a wrench in order to force him back into the med bay; and everyone seemed in a rather joyous mood … until a metallic roar rattled over the walls of the base.

'Bee froze up, automatically dropping his battle mask and taking a defensive stance in front of his human. He stood there a moment more before whispering down, "I think that was Barricade … I hope he didn't get out."

Sam quickly hid behind the yellow mech's leg. Had Barricade escaped knowing that Sam was back? If so, he was going to get stepped on?

"Death better have cookies," Sam grumbled, "or I'm coming back to a haunt that black bastard's aft after he steps on me."

"What?" said Bumblebee in a worried tone as he threw a troubled look down at his charge.

"Nothing … maybe we should –"

The human's words were cut off as he watched a streak of red and yellow run past the two of them, laughter ricocheting down the hall. 'Bee's mask automatically was pulled up and Sam had long since started jogging in the direction of the twins. Wherever the twins went, there promised to be entertainment after all.

After a short chase, Bumblebee and Sam were surprised to see the two mechs peeking around the corner that led to the brig, giggling like school girls. Another roar from Barricade jumped over the surface of the metal walls, yet Sam didn't have time to freak out as a returning roar of laughter escaped the twins the two falling over unable to contain their laughter. After a moment or two of listening to growls from the brig and laughter from the twins did Sam and 'Bee come forward, peaking into the room.

The two stared with morbid curiosity for a moment. Barricade was roaring and screaming, throwing anything he could at Ratchet and Prowl who were trying to get into his cell. 'Bee shook his head and watched for a moment until he noticed that Ironhide was standing near the door, arms crossed with this amused look on his face. It was fairly obvious that he was there for backup.

After picking up Sam, Bumblebee walked up to the older black mech, a sad look in his optics. "Barricade still won't eat, will he?"

The weapons specialist looked at the youngling for a moment before a chuckle escaped him, his voice amused, "You got it all wrong, kid. Barricade's been in-taking his energon everyday since last week." Sam choked on his tongue, but the two mechs didn't notice. "Prowl was, well as much an uptight guy like Prowl can be, ecstatic, but then he noticed something else. Barricade would slam himself against the farthest wall and shiver whenever anyone would try an' enter his cell."

'Bee nodded, throwing a quick glance at the Decepticon who was hissing at Ratchet at the moment, before staring back at Ironhide waiting for the rest of the tale.

"Anyway, being an' older overprotective brother, Prowl thought Barricade must be damaged. So he convinced Ratchet to take a look at him … to bad nobody's been able to get near the Decepticreep, especially not Prowl. For some reason Barricade is now deathly afraid of his brother. He keeps saying oo-rgy or something. Don't know what that is … must be some Decepticon insult."

Sam was silent for a moment as his mind took in the information, and then Sam merely fell over, unable to breathe as laughter quaked through his body.

The two mechs considered him for a moment before asking the human, "What's wrong Sam?"

The human managed to swallow his laughter long enough to whimper, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."


Paw07: I honestly have no idea where this came from … I was just bored and was like, "Why not practice my favorite past time and torture Barricade?" So I did. Hope you liked it.

(Revisions November 2015)