The Super-Duper Really Excruciatingly Cliché Version Of Twilight!
Chapter One: The Beginning
Bella: Like, bye mom! I'll call you!
Bella: OMG, Forks is so boring. But at least I got a car.
Mike: Hey, Isabella! Want a tour? Let's make out!
Bella: It's Bella, dammit! And no, I'm falling for that rather-mysterious dude in my biology class – what's his name, Edgar? Edward?
Lauren: Why is that dipshit getting all the guys? Damn!
-the next day-
Bella: OMG! A CAR! NOOO!
Edward: I'll save you! -saves Bella-
Bella: Like, wow! How'd you get over here so darn fast? Wait, don't tell me- YOU'RE A VAMPIRE!
Edward: Um, no? What the hell are vampires? Hehehehe…
Mike: Wanna go to prom with me?
Bella: Um, no.
Eric: Wanna go to prom with ME, Bella?
Bella: Wanna go jump off a cliff, Eric?
Tyler: How about me?
Bella: For the last damn time, NO!
-blood typing in biology-
Bella: OMG, BLOOD! -faints-
Mike: I'll carry you to the nurse's office, Bella!
Edward: Go crawl in a hole, Mike, I got this. -picks up Bella-
Bella: Wait, why are you carrying me?
Edward: 'Cause I loooove you.
Edward: Nothing. You got amnesia.
-shopping with Jessica-
Bella: I'm gonna go wander off aimlessly and find a nice dark, scary alley to walk in even though that's totally dangerous, okay Jess?
Jessica: Okay. Have fun!
Freaky Stalkers 1, 2, & 3: Hey darlin', wanna go for a ride?
Bella: OMG! RAPISTS!
Edward: -poofs in out of nowhere- GET IN THE CAR, BELLA!
Edward: I'm taking you to dinner.
Bella: Um, okay!
Chapter Two: I Like My Men Cold, Dead, and Sparkling
-in the meadow-
Bella: Like, OMG! You are a vampire! And you're sparkly!
Edward: Heck, yes. You like?
Bella: Ooh, baby, I LOVE! Wanna make out?
Edward: Hell yes!
Bella: That was fun!
Edward: Wanna play baseball?
-in the Cullen's clearing thing, playing baseball-
-Victoria, James, and Laurent show up-
V, J, & L: GIVE US THE GIRL!
Chapter Three: The Fight
James: I'M GOING TO LIKE, KILL YOU BELLA, WOAH.
-James bites her-
Edward: NO! -snaps James' neck-
Bella: -in the hospital- Um, where am I?
Edward: YOU'RE ALIVE! BELLA! I LOVE YOU!
Bella: EDWARD! I LOVE YOU TOO!
Edward: I am so sorry, Bella. I should leave you even though that would kill both of us inside and we love each other.
Bella: You better not, Eddie! Bite me!
Edward: No! Let's go to prom!
Bella: This is boring. Wanna make out?
Edward: Even though I'm planning to leave you forever, sure!
A/N: Yay. New Moon and Eclipse are posted, too, enjoy!