Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. ………………………..Enjoy! *Note: People who review get a free gift certificate to Invisible Products 'R Us!*
'Twas a fine Saturday morning, and the X-Men had excitedly bounded down to the Rec Room for another blissful Saturday morning of watching their favourite cartoons. Everyone gathered 'round the TV, Beast with his fuzzy pink slippers, Wolverine wearing his favourite smiley faced boxers…hey, this is my fan fic, alright? I can make them wear whatever the hell they want! In fact I think I'll make Wolverine totally naked…
"Hey darlin', can you hook me up with some clothes?" Wolverine called to the narrator irritably, attempting to cover himself with one of Beast's pink fuzzy slippers.
Heh heh heh…I have complete and total control over you! Mwahahaha!
"I am attempting to cover my manhood with a fuzzy pink slipper," Wolverine said slowly.
Heh heh…OK, sorry. So Wolverine is wearing smiley faced boxers again. And that's that.
Anyways, it was almost 9:00 and time for everyone's favourite cartoon…Super Duper Sumo Squad!
"There's just something about fat men in thongs that appeals to me…" Beast said with a sigh.
Everyone slowly inched away from Beast.
"Attention, all Super Duper Sumo Squad fans. Sadly, Super Duper Sumo Squad has been cancelled," the TV announcer…announced.
"Noooooooooooooo!" Beast screamed in agony, falling to his knees.
"However, we have a brand new show in it's place," the announcer continued brightly. "Get ready for…X-Men Evolution!"
"Did he jus' say X-Men Evolution?" Gambit said, scratching his head. He was wearing…oh, never mind.
"Indeed he did…" the Professor said, furrowing his eyebrows. He was in his special Saturday morning wheelchair, the one with yellow ducks on it.
The show began…
"Ach! It's us! As…" Nightcrawler began in horror.
"Teenagers!" everyone exclaimed.
"Oooooh!" Jean squealed as she leaped up. She started jumping on the couch, pointing to the TV. "Look! It's me! And I'm a cheerleader! Yay!"
"Surprise, surprise," Storm said sarcastically.
"Gimme a J!" Jean exclaimed, waving imaginary pom-poms around. "Gimme an E! Gimme an A! Gimme an N! What does it spell?!" Jean took in a deep breath to yell what it spelled, then looked around, confused. "Um…Jane?"
"This is the part where you faint," Wolverine whispered into Jean's ear.
"Oh!" Jean giggled. She fainted.
"Hooray!" everyone shouted in glee. And then there was much rejoicing.
"Heh…I like my character…he's macho," Cyclops said, flexing his muscles. "And such a good leader…"
"Oh, Scotty, you know I love it when you talk dirty…" Beast said seductively. He winked at Cyclops.
"Ah'm…a…goth…" Rogue said slowly.
"Ah, is not so bad chere, you look kind of…cute…?" Gambit said, trying to cheer Rogue up.
"Ah'm…wearing…black…lipstick!" Rogue yelled.
Gambit stifled a laugh, then waited for himself to show up on the screen. "Wait…Remy's not in dis show?!" he yelled in disbelief.
"Ha ha!" Beast said mockingly. He turned back to the TV. "Wait a moment…I'm not in this show either!"
"It might have something to do with the fact that you're a 300 pound gorilla. You'd look a little suspicious at a high school," Storm pointed out.
"But Nightcrawler has a special watch that makes him normal! Why can't I have had a special watch?!" Beast whined.
"The watch thing only makes you look normal. It don't cure ugly," Wolverine sneered. Beast looked up at him with wide, round eyes.
"All I've ever wanted was to be loved!!!! Is that so much to ask?!" Beast cried. He ran from the room. Everyone applauded.
"Hey, who tha hell's Spyke?" Rogue asked in confusion.
No one knew.
"I can't believe they made me bald in this cartoon!" Professor Xavier huffed.
"Uh, Professor…" Cyclops began. "You are bald."
Xavier gave Cyclops a funny look. "I am not bald. My hair is simply invisible! Why does no one believe me?!"
Everyone stared at Xavier, then slowly turned their attention back to the TV.
"I'm a valley girl…" Kitty said sadly, watching her character trounce around on TV.
"I'm a goofball…" Kurt said sadly, watching his character make a fool of himself on TV.
Kurt and Kitty slowly turned to look at one another.
"Kurt…I-I've never noticed how…blue you are," Kitty breathed, suddenly entranced.
"Kitty…I-I've never noticed how…intangible you are," Kurt whispered, mesmerised. They gazed into eachother's eyes for an eternity…
"Well 'Ro, me and you lucked out. We're the only adults in this craptacular show," Wolverine noted.
"I have floppy socks," Storm said miserably. "Look at them…look at them flop…"
"Yeah well I sound like a surfer dude…listen to that guy say 'Bub'. Listen! He has no class…what a disgrace," Logan huffed.
"Flop floppity flop…" Storm went on glumly.
"Guys!" Iceman said suddenly, bursting into the room. "Did you know there's a freakin movie about us?!"
"Am I in it?" Gambit said hopefully.
"Am I?" Beast cried, running back into the room.
Beast sighed and turned to Gambit. "We make quite a pair, you and I…"
"Back off, furball," Gambit said, backing away slowly.
And so the rest of the Saturday was spent watching X-Men the Movie and comparing Hugh Jackman's dashing good looks to Logan's dashing good looks.
They left Jean lying on the rec room floor.
Occasionally, she twitched.