Yeah, I guess I just got in the mood for writing something a little more light and comical...
Warning: Although this is rated T, some parts are a little more mature. I didn't think I had to make it reated M, because there's definetly nothing explicit, but obviously some suggestive themes. I mean, look at the title!
Pairings? Nothing too major. Things to look out for would be SasuSaku, NaruHina, NejiTen, InoKiba, but I'm not in a rush to pair them all off straight away, and such.
Chapter One: This Is Not A Joke
It was around mid-afternoon, and there were only two people in Tsuande's office. Everyone else was smart enough to steer clear of it today, and they had a good reason, too.
"Well... " Tsunade shrugged. "Thanks. For volunteering to teach the class, since you believe it to be such an important subject-" The man before her nodded his head vigorously, a wide grin plastered on his face.
"But I do! And it is! See, how would the young shinobi of today survive if we didn't teach them-"
"Enough, Jiraiya!" Tsuande said, putting a finger to her lips. "You have to understand that this-this class is only educational, which means no excess information should be shared unless necassary." The Hokage wasn't sure Jiraiya knew the line between necessary and excess. But hey, it wasn't her job to find out, now was it?
Jiraiya waved a large hand in front of her. "I know, I know. Hey, I don't mean to brag but I'd like to call myself an expert!" Tsuande glared. "It's a job, and somebody has to do it."
The woman shook her head, and Jiraiya rubbed his hand together.
"Come tommorow, Jiraiya's sex ed class begins!" He laughed.
The classroom was almost full, full of young, youthful, innocent shinobi, Jiriaya thought. This was going to be fun. Standing at the head of the class with his hands clasped behind his back, he drew in a deep breath and-
A hand thrust in the air and a voice rang out.
"Why are we here?" asked Naruto. The students around him nodded their heads-that is, Sakura, Sasuke, Tenten, Lee, Neji, Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, Kiba, Shino, and Hinata.
Jiraiya snorted. "What do you mean why are you here? Unless... Don't tell me. Your senseis didn't tell you?" He watched as they all unanimously shook their heads, and burst out laughing. "Of course. Why did I think they would?"
A certain impatient blonde blurted, "Yeah, yeah, pervy-sage, now tell us why we're here!" Jiraiya crossed his arms, and turned to the chalk board behind him. After a few scribbles, he suddenly whipped back around and stretched out his arms.
"Dun-da-da-dun-dun-da-DUNNN! Welcome to sex-ed class! With yours truly!" he giggled.
". . . . . . . . ."
Jiraiya looked around, and saw some faces with jaws slightly open. Other than that, everyone pretty much looked exactly the same.
"This is not a joke," he said simply.
Then a riot broke out. Shikamaru and Neji got to their feet and headed towards the door, and Sasuke was not far behind. Jiraiya stepped in front of the door, and Choji was busy trying to pry open some sealed windows. Kiba and Ino hopped up from their desks in the back and grabbed seats in the front. Hinata was fiddling her thumbs rapidly, and looked on the verge of tears. Sakura buried her head in her hands and silently cursed Kakashi while Naruto looked confused.
"What's that?" asked Naruto. Sakura looked up from her string of curses.
"Sex-ed?" Sakura sighed.
"Ahh." Naruto nodded. "Like... what?" Sakura glared.
"You know... Oh, God. Tell me you know what sex is!"
"I know what sex is!" the blonde proclaimed, and Sakura looked at him smugly. "Well... I have an idea... I just don't know the details."
"And that's why you're here!" Jiraiya added loudly, clasping his hands together. "You'll see it can be fun!" Sakura banged her head on the desk.
"This is so inappropriate," she groaned.
"Alright, class, sit down! I said SIT DOWN!" Jiraiya commanded, frocing the others back to their seat. The man scanned the seating arrangment and waved a finger. "This won't do... it has to go boy-girl-boy. Everyone line up down here." With many moans of protest, the class shuffled down the aisles into a line against the chalkboard.
That's it for the first chapter. What did you think? Funny? Stupid? Well, I thought it was alright. If the ending seems cut off, that's 'cause it is. I originally planned a long-ass one-shot but I decided chapters would be better. So I had to make little insicions in the story, sorry.