Handcuffs and Percentages, a Death Note fanfic
Author: MihaelKai
Pairing: L/Light (AKA L/Raito)
Rating: M
Summary: After they're handcuffed together, L and Light must learn to live and work together. Their lives may soon become more complex than they ever dreamed. Shounen-ai/Yaoi in later chapters. Don't like, don't read.
Beta: The amazing Skeledoglover
Disclaimer: I only own the plotline. And even that... who knows in this world?
Flames: Will be used to roast the people who wrote them.
This is my first attempt at a DN fanfic. I hope it doesn't suck too horribly. Reviews are MUCH appreciated!

Chapter 1

"Remind me again why we need these stupid cuffs?" Light asked through the bathroom door. "They're kind of...annoying..."

"To keep an eye on you, Yagami." L leaned against the wall outside. Even he was begining to find this an annoyance, and they hadn't even been attached for an entire day.

"Couldn't you just attach a camera to my head or something? Or hire someone to cuff me to? Why are you doing it?"

"Because I don't trust anyone else but me. I find them annoying aswell." He replied through the other side. "Techinally I should be in there with you too, but I'll give you that privacy."

"Oh thanks," he replied, rolling his eyes. "Besides, I'm sure you'd just look anyway. If I was Kira, how would you know I wasn't killing people while I was in here?"

He was silent for a moment. "Yagami, I very much doubt that you would kill in the bathroom, but if you feel I should be in there as well..."

"Gah, no! I was just saying. You're usually so over-paranoid. Testing every possibility."

"Hurry up, I find it very unproductive to be standing here, talking you through the door."

"Don't rush me! Besides, you're talking too. And it's really distracting!"

"You're supposed to be a genius and yet you can't pee while someones talking to you? Very well. Not another word from me."

He was silent for a few seconds. "Nevermind, talk. Akward silence is more distracting."

Just as L was about to reply, his phone began to ring loudly. "Hello? Yes, I will tell him. Yagami, Misa has come to see you...this will be hard to explain to her."

"She's here? Now? This is annoying. She'll flip out. Could we maybe take them off? Just for an hour? Until she leaves?" Light asked hopefully.

L rolled his eyes. "No." He grabed what he could of the chain and yanked.

"Kyah!" he cried out, slamming into the door. He quickly zipped up his pants. "Impatient much!?" He opened the door and walked out, glaring at him.

L looked away, biting on this thumb. "Oh, you're out."

"No really? You pulled me into a door!" He stuck out his tongue immaturely.

"Oh, did I?" He shrugged it off. "Anyway, Misa will be wanting to see you."

Light scowled at L. "Let's go then." Light walked forward and yanked the chain behind him as hard as he could.

L stumbled, and nearly skidded along the floor. "Is this how its going to be?" He repeated the same action towards Light. This small 'fight' continued down the hall, until they both burst into the room where Misa was waiting in a tangle of chain and yelling.

"Light?" She asked, staring at the two men before her, and the handcuffs joining them.

"Ah, well I guess she knows," L remarked.

Light jumped up instantly, realizing how they must look to her. "Er...I can explain..." He laughed nervously.

"Yes, Yagami-kun, do explain." L said as he managed to untangle himself and sit on the couch. There was something about the way he spoke his sentence. He was taunting Light.

He glared at L again, reluctantly sitting next to him. "He still doesn't trust me and therefore thinks we need to be handcuffed...wait. That's not how I meant that to sound." Light mentally slapped himself. "Still thinks I'm Kira...yeah." Light laughed nervously again. Why was he so freaked about this?

"Eh? Misa doesn't understand why you have to be handcuffed together."

"I don't like this situation anymore then Yagami-kun does," L assured her.

"I don't understand it either. But since when has anyone attempted to understand him?" He gestured to L. "It's only until we catch the real Kira. Then maybe he'll let me go. Stupid chain is too short though. I have to spend all my time with him. So I'll understand if you don't want to have dates or anything until this is over."

"Light! Why can't Misa and Light have dates, even if Ryuuzaki is here?" Misa protested, pouting.

"Well, I don't think Ryuuzaki would want to be forced to be dragged along. Besides, wouldn't you rather have our first dates be more...private?" he suggested. He thought to himself, 'Please, please, please. Either of them is annoying alone; together... I'll be in a mental institution after one "date"!'

"I don't mind," L said, smirking slightly.

Misa jumped to her feet and wraped her arms around Light. "Yay! Misa and Light will have their first date tomorrow!"

"Sure," he smiled falsely. "Great. So, go back now and I'll see you tomorrow at about 8?"

L stared at Light for a moment. "It's still early."

"But this way it will have been a while since we last saw eachother. So it will be better when we get to see eachother again," he reasoned, thanking his quick-thinking logic.

The large grandfather clock stuck 11. Most of the team had left for the night, except for Watari.

"See? It's late. You should go." Light practically shoved her out the door. "Night!"

"Good night Light." She looked at L and left.

He sighed deeply. "Thank god, she's gone." He looked at L. "I like her and all...but she's a bit...obsessive sometimes. I need a break."

L didn't respond for a minute, but just stared out the window. "We still have much to work on Light-kum, and its still early."

Light rolled his eyes. "I meant a break from Misa. I know we have to work."

"Come on Light-kun, we still have some time to work on the case." Slowly L rose, stretching. He was surprisingly taller than L when he wasn't slouching.

Light sighed. "Alright, fine." He stood as well, his hand accidentally brushing past L's rear due to the weight of the handcuffs. "Stupid handcuffs. Sorry about that," he muttered, looking away quickly.

L froze for a moment, but ignored it. He began to shuffle his way to the main room. The light from the many computer screens gave his skin an eerie glow, but it was the only light he ever got. Light followed behind him, trying to ignore the almost... eterial glow the computers gave L. "Why don't we have any normal lighting again?"

"This is normal lighting." L was slightly puzzled. To him, this was the norm. Very rarely did he venture outside, he had no need to. He sat down in a chair. There were still sweets left from a previous visit. He happily unwrapped them and continued to eat them one by one.

"Like... as in... light from something other than computers? Maybe a window or something? Or even lightbulbs attached to light switches?" Light replied, annoyed. He looked at the pile of sweets with distaste. "You're going to get fat off of those things, you know. Not to mention the cavities." He sat down next to him, starting to look through the pile of papers and facts he had left behind.

"No, the brain burns the most calories out of any organ in the body. And I use my brain constantly. Not to mention I have a high metabolism," he mumbled through the candy currently in his mouth.

"Yeah, just keep telling yourself that. But don't complain to me when you can't fit in those clothes anymore," Light muttered in response, not looking up from the papers.

Time seemed to blur as they continued to work. Once or twice, L glanced at Light. Most people couldn't run off three or less hours of sleep like he did, and it looked like Light was one of them.

"Why do you keep staring at me?" Light was not oblivious to L constantly looking at him. "In case you were wondering, no I don't need that much sleep."

"Tell me that when noon comes around." L continued to look over various things on random papers and the computer. It was completely organized to him, though to anyone else it would look like a mess.

Light rolled his eyes, glancing at the clock which read 6:23AM. "Time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it?" he muttered sarcastically.

"Mhmm," he answered half heartedly. His eyes rapidly darting from side to side, mentally storing any useful information.

They continued to work in silence for a while longer. L yawned and pushed away from the computer. "Yagami, it's 7:30."

Light raised an eyebrow. "Your point? Not tired already, are you?"

"No, but your father and the rest will be arriving soon. And Watari wi-" His sentance was interrupted by none other than Watari.

"Another long night?" Watari asked, placing more sweets and tea in front of him.

"You really should cut him back on the sugar," he commented offhandedly to Watari. "He's going to get a heart attack from the stuff. Is my father here yet?"

Watari looked at Light critically for a moment, but ignored his remark about the sweets. "No, he shoudl arrive after 8."

"Good." Light stood. "I have to change then." He yanked the chain, hoping to send L tumbling off the chair. 'I probably need a shower too. This will be...interesting,' he thought.

L fell unceremoniously to the floor. Rubbing his back, he looked at Watari. "Not my best idea," he muttered before following Light.

"Er... you know... I have to take a shower, right? How are we going to... er... work that?" Light asked as they walked up the stairs.

L was silent for a moment. "That was not something I thought about beforehand." 'Damn, not one of my better plans.' he thought.

"There's a lot of things you don't think about, aren't there?" he replied annoyedly. "Well you better start thinking, because I refuse to shower with you." He continued to drag the other up the stairs.

"Is it a necessity for you to shower?" asked L as he was pulled up the stairs and into their room. It was almost like a hotel suite.

Light stopped and spun around, staring at him in disbelief. "Yes it is a necessity!"

L sighed loudly. "We are very different people, you and I."

"D-don't you ever shower!?"

"That's a very unintelligent question to ask. Of course I do. But I don't think one needs to do so everyday, especially when they barely go out and thus barely perspire."

"Whatever, you might not think you need a shower, but I would like one. So help me figure this out!"

"Have your shower, I'll just have to wait...again. Unfortunately, the chain is not long enough for me to wait outside. So I'll have to be inside the bathroom."

Light recoiled as far as the chain would allow. "Gah! No! That's creepy! How do I know you won't try to steal glances at me or something?"

"Yagami-kun, if I went that way, which I don't. You're nothing to look at. I could do better." He couldn't help but laugh a little.

"First off, how do I know you're not gay? I have no proof. Second, you spend every second of your life hidden inside, away from the sun. Third, you're as pale as a ghost and have the weirdest mannerisms. Fourth, ...did you just laugh? My god, the great Ryuuzaki is capable of emotion!" He ended in a mock-dramatic tone.

"Yagami-kun, stop stalling and get in the shower!" He was losing his patience.

Light scowled darkly at him. "What are you, my mother? At least like... turn around or something!"

L rolled his eyes and turned around. "I don't understand how you found someone to date. You're overbearing, stubborn, too smart for your own good, a control freak, hate losing, and have a five percent chance of being Kira."

"Since when is it five percent!?" he exclaimed, starting to undress. "You're such a hyppocrite! You hate losing, you're paranoid, obsessive, also too smart for your own good, practically a hermit, and you're addicted to candy!"

"Is this where this conversation is going? Insults? How... mature. Stop complaining and get in the shower."

"You started it, filthy hyppocrite," he muttered before getting in the shower. He sighed contentedly as the hot water hit him. "Move closer to the shower, I can't reach my head."

L mumbled something under his breath and moved closer, sitting on the lid of the toilet seat. This was the most awkward thing of his life.

"What was that? Couldn't quite hear you." The water was relieving him of his stress. Right now, he couldn't care less what L said, saw, or did.

Sitting in the bathroom was like sitting in a sauna, something about which L could not complain. He yawned and soon fell asleep.

"Ryuuzaki?" Light asked. He shrugged. "Fine, fall asleep on me." He shut off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist, taking another to dry his hair. He noticed L dozing and figured it would be a good time to get dressed. After he was dressed, he poked L's shoulder. "Hey, wake up."

"Hmm..." L opened his eyes slowly. "Done yet?"

"Yeah. So much for your 'I don't need sleep' theory, ne?"

"I'm only human. I do sleep. Just not often."

"Right, well are we going to stand here all day or are we gonig to work?" He pulled on the chain again, effectively pulling L off his seat.

"You need to stop doing that," L said annoyedly, looking up at him from the floor.

"But why? It's about the only amusement I can find in this place," he replied with a mischevious grin. "Don't want to take my fun away, do you? Ne, you probably do. But that's because you're boring." He blinked at himself a few times and sighed, shaking his head. "I've been spending too much time around Misa..."

"Yes, yes you have." L stood up and looked at himself in the mirror. "I hate steam." His hair had now lost any shape it may have had before.

Light was unable to supress a smirk at L's remark. "Since when are you concerned with your appearance, first off? And second, it's your own fault for handcuffing us together."

"Yagami." He slowly turned his head, long strands of hair stuck to his face. "First, I dont care about my appearance and second I DO NOT like being handcuffed to you either, but I said I would do what was necessary to solve this case."

Light's face twitched, broke into a grin, and he proceeded to laugh hysterically. "You look sooo rediculous right now! ...And couldn't you just hire someone else to cuff me to?"

"For the last time, no." L sighed and vainly tried to fix his hair. "I'm going to kill you in your sleep," he muttered.

"What was that?" asked Light, raising an eyebrow. "You won't kill me."

"No, but I will have my revenge. Now come on, the others are probably here already. Since you took that eternally long shower."

"...Revenge? Whatever for?" he asked innocently. Light walked out of the room, giving one last yank to the chain.

"For that," L replied, stumbling as he followed Light.