Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
Birth of a Legend, or a Retard
Kakashi Hatake sighed as he looked over the report handed to him by the Hokage. It contained the information on the three genin he was going to test, and most likely fail.
"So…explain why you're giving me a genin team again considering what happened to the last 32?" he asked the old man in front of him.
"Well, I thought this time might be a bit…different. After all, two of those genin are extremely special. You should know that"
Kakashi nodded. The last Uchiha and the village junchrikki, who also happened to be his sensei's son, though you could count the number of people who knew the latter on one hand.
'I guess I do owe sensei and Obito. But if even so, if they don't understand what it means to be a shinobi, then they don't deserve to be one, no matter who they are'
"Alright, I guess I don't have a choice. Though Naruto might be an interesting character. Mastering Kage Bunshin in a single night is quite an accomplishment"
"Yes. It is impressive. Though that isn't the main reason why you should keep an eye on him" Sarutobi said.
"After that incident, he's…changed. Mentally anyway. He still looks the same and sounds the same, but, it's like his personality has changed almost fundamentally. When I first saw this, I checked the seal with his permission. There wasn't any weakening or any change for that matter. I'm not sure what happened, but I think his mastery of Kage Bunshin may have something to do with it. It's not really a bad change. Just be ready for some weird stuff. He'll probably surprise you"
"Okay…" 'Surprise? I'd like to see that'
As Kakashi stopped at the door to the classroom (three hours later of course), he noticed a sound coming from inside.
If he had to guess, Kakashi would say that it sounded like a pencil being tapped against a desk. He was about to open the door when he heard a voice from inside.
"Naruto-baka! Stop tapping that damn pencil! It's been three hours!" said the shrill voice of a girl.
'Must be the Haruno girl'
The tapping then stopped. Kakashi heard a stressed "Thank you" from inside. He was about to open it again when he heard another sound.
Kakashi sweatdropped and quickly opened the door in order to prevent possible bloodshed. As he did however, he felt a strange rushing of air, and the next thing he knew, he was sitting at a desk in the room. Before he had time to register any of this, a fist connected with his face sending him into the adjacent aisle.
Regaining his bearings and getting to his feet, Kakashi saw a young girl, frozen in shock with her fist outstretched, having not moved since hitting him. Glancing over to where he was standing, he noticed a young boy with blonde-spiky hair standing at the door with a satisfied smirk on. Realizing he had just been the unwilling subject of a kawarimi, Kakashi spoke.
"Well, my first impression of you is…I hate you. Come to the roof" he then poofed away.
A few minutes later, Kakashi was sitting on the rail on the edge of the roof, the three would-be genin sitting on the steps in front of them. Kakashi examined his new charges. Sitting on the far right (form his perspective) was black-haired (which kind of resembled a chicken butt) boy with a brooding expression. He had black eyes and was wearing a navy-blue shirt and white pants with his headband tied around his forehead. The last (well, second to last) Uchiha, Sasuke.
Sitting next to him was a pink-haired girl with green eyes wearing a red dress and her Hitei-ate tied around the top of her head. She would occasionally shoot a dreamy glance at Sasuke. Sakura Haruno according to the file.
And finally, sitting, well, kind of sitting next to Sakura was the blonde that had kawarimied with him to avoid the former's wrath. Naruto Uzumaki. He did bear a striking resemblance to his father, with his blonde, spiky hair and blue eyes. He was wearing a plain black T-shirt and plain black pants with his headband tied around his neck. His sitting position alone said how accurate, or inaccurate as it was, his profile was and how much he had apparently changed. According to his profile, Naruto probably should have been sitting up with barely contained energy. Instead, Naruto had sat down on the top step and was now laying on his back, staring up at the sky, looking board.
"Alright, I guess we'll all introduce ourselves. Pinky, you first"
Sakura looked annoyed at the nickname but didn't comment on it, instead, she looked confused.
"Um, sensei, what exactly are we supposed to say?"
'Okay, just how did she get such high marks at the academy?'
"You know, name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the future…"
"Well then, why don't you go first sensei" Naruto spoke up.
"You're still awake?" Sasuke said in a mocking tone.
"Nope" Naruto replied, leaving everyone thinking 'huh?'
"Well, my name's Kakashi Hatake. I really don't have any likes or dislikes. Dreams for the future…Well I do have some hobbies"
'So all we learned is his name huh? Wait…why do I care? Oh well'
"Alright pinky, you're up"
"My name is Sakura Haruno. My likes are Sasuke-kun! My dislikes are Ino-buta and Naruto-baka!" she pretty much yelled while glaring at Naruto.
"Do I look like I care? And since we all know that her hobbies are stalking Sasuke and her dream is to rape him, can we just move on? I'd rather listen to her mindless fangirl ranting as little as possible" Naruto spoke up.
Sakura looked like she was shocked and ticked at the same time, while Sasuke just looked surprised. Kakashi realized that the Hokage hadn't been kidding about the kid changing so much if his classmates were this shocked by his behavior. He decided to follow the kid's advice, the girl was getting annoying.
"Okay emo, you're up"
Sasuke looked annoyed for a second, but quickly schooled his face into one of the brooding emo that he was.
"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I don't have any likes or dislikes. My hobbies are training. I don't have a dream. It's more of an ambition. To kill a certain man, and to revive my clan"
"No you won't" Naruto said again.
Apparently, this was a sore spot for Sasuke because he immediately glared at the blond and spoke in a low voice with venom.
"And just why won't I?"
"Because you can't electrocute a ghost. That's why"
Only one thought was going through everyone's head.
"Alright, on that note, how about you go next?"
"Um…you still awake there?"
"Yeah yeah. I'm just thinking of what to say. Well…my names Naruto Uzumaki, that's Maelstrom, NOT FISHPASTE FOR THE 206 TIME!" he said/yelled (still from his reclined position). "My likes…wow, pretty small list…I guess old man Sarutobi and Iruka-sensei considering they don't treat me like shit. And ramen, good stuff that. My dislikes…much bigger list…pretty much everyone in this village since they treat me like shit, Sasuke, since he's an arrogant, stuck-up prick, and Sasuke fangirls since they're annoying, whiny bitches who have no concept of being quiet for two seconds or even communicating in something other then screaming"
"Um, I'M SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!" Sakura screamed at him (and kind of proved his point too from Kakashi's perspective) while Sasuke just smirked. At least he had realized the truth of the fangirl.
"I'm sorry, did you say something? I couldn't hear anything over the incessant screaming"
Deciding to defuse the situation before Sakura tried to brutally murder Naruto (and himself or Sasuke getting targeted for possible Kawarimi), Kakashi spoke up again.
"And, your dreams for the future?"
"Ah yes" Naruto replied as he sat up and glanced around as if thinking about his answer. "What is my dream? Burn Konoha to the soil maybe?" Everyone looked at him, unease VERY apparent in their eyes, Kakashi especially. "Just kidding" he said as he laid back down. "I guess my dream would be…"
"…MELON!!" Naruto yelled as he sat up, scaring the shit out of everyone and almost making Kakashi fall off the railing.
After everyone recovered, they looked at him like he was mentally retarded, in a way, he was.
"Uh…melon?" Kakashi asked. "Your dream is 'melon'"
Naruto crossed his arms and looked serious. "That's my story and I'm sticking to it"
"BAKA! WHAT KIND OF A DREAM IS THAT?!" Sakura screamed as she got ready to punch him again. As her fist collided with Naruto's head however, he burst into smoke revealing…Sasuke…who flew back about ten feet with a very large bump on his head. As Sakura tried to digest what just happened (something that made Kakashi once again question her IQ level considering Naruto had done the same thing five minutes ago), Naruto spoke up from behind her.
"Well…I suppose that's one way to knock him out so you can rape him. Though I'd say tranquilizer darts would probably work much better"
Sakura, apparently more concerned with Sasuke then the fact that Naruto had just made her slug him in the face, ran over to the emo as he got to his feet, glaring daggers at Naruto all the while.
As Kakashi observed all this, he made a mental assessment of this team.
'Let's see…an emo, his fangirl, and a bipolar junchrikki. Well, I guess they have some potential. I guess we'll see during the survival test'
"Um…Kakashi-sensei?" Kakashi looked up to see Naruto hanging from the large awning over the roof, Sasuke and Sakura trying to pull him down, probably to pummel him. "A little help? Please?"
As he sweatdropped, Kakashi cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.
"Well, now that we're all done introducing ourselves, I think it's time to discuss the matter of you graduation test"
This had the desired effect as this new prospect immediately grabbed Sasuke's attention, and Sakura seemed to have the attention span of a nail since Naruto was out of reach, either that or she was just mimicking Sasuke.
"But sensei, we already passed our genin test"
"That was only a test of whether or not you have the skill to become ninja. Whether or not you're worthy to become shinobi is up to your jounin sensei, AKA, me"
"So what is this test of yours?" Naruto asked as he dropped to the ground.
"It's a survival training test. I won't say anymore then that. Be at training field 7 tomorrow mourning at 7:00 am. Oh and don't eat breakfast. You'll just throw up"
As the man 'poofed' away, a variety of thoughts were going through the heads of the genin. Though more thoughts were going through the head of one then his companions.
"I must pass this test, to defeat HIM"
"I have to pass this test, otherwise I'll never get close to Sasuke-kun!"
"Well well. Survival training? Against a jounin? This should be fun"
'Ah man. Survival training? Against a jounin? I hope we do okay'
"Hm…This will difficult. We will have to do some planning"
"COOL. MAYBE WE'LL GET TO TEST OUT THE NEW JUTSUS. AND MAYBE SEE SOME NEW ONES"
'THE PAINT CANS ARE ATTACKING! THE PAINT CANS ARE ATTACKING I TELL YOU!'
AN: Well, so begins my newest fic. I'm not sure whether or not I'm going to pair Naruto with anyone, but if I do, it's going to be Hinata. And yes, Naruto is very OOC. That will be explained later, along with the weird thoughts. And I'm not going to be able to update over spring break because I'm going on vacation. But I'll have a lot of free time to write during the flight so when I get back, expect a few updates (including Inner Chaos hopefully).