Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight in any way, shape, or form.
Things settled back into routine over the next few days, well as routine as they could be without Edward.
Rain had once again taken over the skies, leaving no promise of sunshine. The sidewalks made sure that the worn shoes on my feet always remained wet, even when the clouds took a break from pouring what I thought of as God's tears down on earth. Walking the dogs became normal again and I began to loose the couple pounds I had gained while remaining in bed.
A few days prior I had moved back into my home. My father had left, leaving only broken glasses and plates in his wake. Almost immediately I found myself demanding that Angela drive my stuff over. Once I had taken it upon myself to clean the glass up the place looked exactly as I had left it that morning before my dad had come—bringing my tired brain to the realization that Charlie, in fact, had barely been there at all—obviously running off to find a new drug gang as soon as he left my room in the hospital that day.
I wish I could say this surprised me, but the sad thing was, it just didn't. And I'm pretty sure he would eventually kill himself by overdosing, and even though he was my father, I honestly found myself unable to shed any tears over the prospect and statistics of it happening.
Nothing had changed in my house, yet things seemed to have changed everywhere else. Edward was never at the park anymore, never, not even during the day or in the breaks between the constant down pour of rain. He didn't even call my work. I didn't know for sure if he had tried to call Angela or not, but I assumed if he had he would have come see me or at least called my work; leading me to believe that he hadn't called her at all. Roy, also, had changed. He rarely hung around at work anymore, which I didn't mind. He was nice and I missed him and all, but at the same time I was extremely happy that he had found a girl and was getting out more.
For some reason I couldn't even begin to fathom, it seemed like as the days passed I felt less and less like smiling, and after a week I didn't feel like smiling at all. At first I though this was because of the constant rain bringing down my mood, but one day it hit me that I had always loved the rain so I should be smiling about it.
Somewhere deep down I knew this lack of happiness was due to the lack of Edward Cullen, but I didn't, in any way, shape, or form, admit it to myself. Because who knew if he was coming back? And I refused to dwell on that thought.
Midterms had begun eating away at my life. I'd been so involved with other things it wasn't until I realized they were merely a week away that I remembered I hadn't even begun to study.
Sometimes I wondered what happened to me, I used to be such an overachieving bookworm, always ahead in my studies and never getting less than A's on my glowing report card. But for some reason, lately, I had slipped a bit and in med school you can't afford to slip. It's like driving on ice in a snowstorm, once you slip over the edge on an icy mountain road, you're a goner.
Shane had become my constant companion, always sitting at the door when I got home and following me around the house. The children all loved him, and according to Esme he was always very gentle with them.
My life fell into such a vigorous routine I didn't even have time to text my friends or call Bella. Every day I promised myself that I would do it right away the next, but it never happened. Even on weekends I found myself too busy to even make a simple phone call. One weekend it was my mother's birthday, my father's big promotion dinner with his boss, and Emmett and Rosalie's anniversary and I was required to watch their kid for the night. The next weekend Rosalie went into labor with her second child, my other nephew fell out of a tree and broke his wrist, and Kiara and her husband announced their plans to move out—requiring me to help packing.
And just like that, two entire weeks had passed by without my notice. It wasn't until that next Monday that I woke up and looked at the calendar only to realize that time had completely left me behind, without even a look back or waiting for me to catch up. With resolve, I left for school, knowing I had to call Bella that night. Hopefully Bella didn't think I'd forgotten her. I had heard before that separation only deepens love, yet even though I knew I loved Bella I couldn't help but feel a bit distanced from her. Everything in our relationship had happened so fast—from confessing our immediate love of one another to me having an odd feeling and turning the car around to find her near dead on the sidewalk.
My heart and my head wouldn't agree. My head was saying I should love her even more than before, but my stressed heart was arguing that I was simply too busy for love and had never been in a serious relationship before so I didn't know what love was. I wasn't sure if it was the two stressful weeks I had just had or if it was really my heart speaking. I loved Bella, didn't I?
My thoughts muddled around in my head for the remainder of the day, and for whatever reason, when I got home, I didn't pick up the phone to call Bella. Nor did I put my jacket on and go to the park. For some reason I still felt conflicted. It even hindered my sleep that night, because every time I closed my eyes I saw Bella behind my eye lids and my heart swelled with love, but as soon as I opened my eyes reality came back and I truly doubted everything. This pattern went on all night, opened, closed, opened, closed—my body simply could not sleep.
In the middle of the night I turned on the radio to an oldie station only to hear the song "Teenager in Love" and the last line of the song-hit home. "Why must I be a teenager in love?" And at that moment I knew that I had to see Bella the next day, no matter what.
AN: Confliction during love is normal, I've been in Edward's place a million times so please don't flame me…. So I've been thinking of putting together a collection of short stories/one shots by a bunch of different authors, would any of you be interested in participating? Let me know.
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