Let's just come backwards if you don't mind; when our two heroes had decided to put an end to their secret affair, ignoring the strength of their feelings and the harsh despair they would suffer from. Anyway we all know that this story will close on a happy end, no matter what happens between the few months that separate us from this final and inevitable moment. Karen will give birth to a healthy child, boy or girl, and she will spend the rest of her life smiling in Will's arms; realizing for the very first time how everything can be bright. She deserves it after all. Could she really keep on drinking just to make the whole scene fuzzy and so, a bit more acceptable? Obviously it didn't work that well and her sorrow was taking possession of her mind little by little. She needed a change; that's why she got trapped into the dizzy whirl of a love story and dared to move forward, with Will.
She left New York while a fine veil of rain was falling over the city; an ocean of tears over her heart. Somehow she was glad that Rosario was already in Asia and so she had to travel alone. At least nobody but perfect strangers could assist the funeral of her soul; she was dying without Will. Closing her eyes in a vain attempt to escape from the wrong reality she was living, she tried to understand her choices, the meaning of her existence. But every second passing by only managed to get her mind confused and she frowned under a subtle headache invading her brain while Manhattan was vanishing on her back. She was carrying on the weight of past vows and the responsibility for saving her marriage, her life with Stanley. Who was Will in this story? She moaned in silence and leaned against the window; biting her lower lip, frowning. He was just a friend and would always be.
The boredom of her routine had led her to a dangerous game where the flesh got mixed with the sensuality of some caresses; the false comfort of a smile and the feeling we're alive. She just needed some company, the warmth of a soul nodding to her wonders and easing her insecurities. It's not that she liked lying to herself though it seemed easier to pretend and keep that way.
"Would you like a drink, Mrs Walker?"
She turned and looked at the flight attendant but didn't say a word.
"Are you okay, Mrs Walker?"
"Yes I am, thank you."
Karen's voice was a whisper, a fragile note of sadness in the emptiness of her broken heart. She put a hand on her forehead and sighed.
"So would you like to drink something?"
She shook her head and grabbed the blanket, covering her lonely body with the impersonal piece of fabric. "No, thank you. I'm just going to have a rest. I'm tired."
Of course she never managed to fall asleep, not even a second. Her mind focused on Will, on his hands, his lips; the way he used to kiss her temple and caress her hair in the darkness of the bedroom. All of a sudden the slightest detail reminded her of him as if her ex-lover's essence had infiltrated every single cell of the universe and she would never be able to forget about them. Subconsciously a smile lit up her face as she began to think about him. She settled further into her seat, rocked by the warmness of the blanket, and made love to Will in the purest need of her heart and the most painful idea it would only take place in her head, now.
At this exact moment Karen's body was in turmoil, working as it had never done before. The sharpness of her sorrow darkened the amazingly perfect action of nature; a kind of magical fusion symbolizing the mystery of life, the creation of a child. Completely unaware of this fact, she was mourning a beloved past, a quiet one; her brain fighting with the paradoxical action of her own body, the neuralgic point of her life. Her mind was pushing her to draw a line under Will while her cells were building this new entity; a part from her, a part from him. And the first steps into motherhood passed unnoticed. She was missing her biggest dream.
The hours became heavy and unbearable in the restrained area of the plane. She needed to go for a walk, under the moon, and think about nothing; just take a deep breath of fresh air that would prove to her lungs she hadn't died yet. She glanced at her watch, 3am. Privilege of the first class or simple whim of her heart, she grabbed the private phone corresponding to her seat and dialed a number in the darkness of the plane. One; two; three. She gasped when he answered the call. Somehow she would have preferred to go straight on the answering machine but his voice appeared like the first and unique hopeful moment she had got since the beginning of the trip. She closed her eyes and huddled up against herself, turning her back to the woman sat next to her. Then, in a stifled moan of cries, she sighed and murmured weakly on the receiver.
"I miss you so much… Come with me, please."
His sobs broke down her last effort to keep on pretending and she burst into tears in the silence of the plane; lost among a crowd of sleeping souls, relieved and safe.
"I need you, Will."
"I need you too, Karen."