A/N: So this is going to be a new WIP. –Ducks objects thrown by Tumble Down readers– I know! I know! Don't worry, TD is still priority, but I really had the urge to write NftSdImJP (Isn't that a whopper.), and it won't be a long one either. It's my excuse to expose the various HP characters as voyeurs, and to expose Harry and Sev as exhibitionists. –Grins– Isn't it swell? The story title come from a sonnet by Shakespeare. The sonnet doesn't have anything to do with the story, but I liked the line. The chapter title also comes from a Shakespearean sonnet. I –heart– Shakespeare.
Anyway, this is post-war, ignores everything after GoF, and lacks both a backstory and a plot. Basically, it's utterly pointless. I love it to death. What it does do is expose Harry's and Sev's relationship to the various characters in the HP world. I'm a little nervous, because I've done fluffy, I've done Snarry, and I've done WIP, but never all three at once. If you're looking for a really serious story, turn around right now.
Today's discoverers are Albus, Minerva, Filius, and Pomona. (That's Dumbledore, McGonagall, Flitwick, and Sprout.)
Warnings: Slash, AU, Post-War, sexual humor, possible language, possible sexual scenes (It's T right now but it may not stay that way.), and mild OOC.
Disclaimer: I own everything! BTW: My doctor says I suffer from hallucinations. Does anyone know what that means?
Albus Dumbledore twinkled genially as he watched three of his four Heads of House debate animatedly. The four Professors were wandering around the night-silenced castle, looking for the fourth Head of House, Severus Snape. The youngest member of the Hogwarts faculty had caustically informed Albus that he refused to "rouse myself from bed at two in the morning for an impromptu meeting, one which has been called simply because you and your merry band of sycophants do not feel the need to sleep."
Evidently however, he had roused himself, seeing how when Albus, Minerva, Filius, and Pomona had come round to his chambers, he had not been there. They deduced that he had been unable to get back to sleep, and had so left the chambers to wander the hallways and hopefully catch a few students out of bed. Taking points and assigning detentions always made him feel better.
It was Minerva's – somewhat inappropriate – comment about Severus needing to find a release for his sexual tension that had prompted the debate that the Headmaster was currently watching.
"Honestly Minerva, when would Severus get to release his tension in such a way, and with who? A student?"
Filius' remark evolved into a heated discussion about student-teacher relationships that was periodically interposed with rather disturbing remarks that referred back to their original topic of discussion. It was interesting, but despite how amusing Albus found the argument, the fact of the matter was that Filius and Minerva debating was an even more volatile combination than Severus and Minerva, and Pomona's blush was dangerously bright. Albus came to a halt in front of a familiar painting of a fruit basket, and smoothly cut into the dispute.
"I think that any relationship, whether or not it is student-teacher or happens to involve Severus, is a beautiful thing. As long as love is involved, there is no problem. Let's stop for some hot chocolate, shall we?"
The tone of his voice ended the discussion, but Minerva tried to get in one last shot as she swept past Albus and into the kitchen.
"You do know what Severus would say to that, don't you?"
Albus didn't take the bait.
"Something that astringently abuses the intelligence and romanticism of Gryffindors, I'm sure."
He was answered by three snorts.
The Hogwarts kitchen was an interesting sight at two in the morning. The four house tables were piled high with clean dishes that were being directed into their proper cupboards by a small team of house-elves. The rest of the handy little creatures were out and about the castle, cleaning. Albus waved away the little creatures when they jumped up to greet him and the other Professors, firmly telling them that they would require no assistance. He led the other three over to the large fireplace and set about fixing them a warm drink each, leaving the task of conjuring chairs and a table to Minerva.
The quartet of was comfortably seated and sipping on warm, chocolaty liquid when they heard the sound of the entrance swinging open, then closing once more. Expecting the intruder to be Severus, they were severely surprised when they didn't here the telltale click of his heels on the cobblestone floor. They were shocked further when the house-elves did not immediately rush to greet the visitor. Exchanging confused looks, the quartet got up and moved to get around the large table of towering pots and pans that currently blocked their view of the door.
"It has to be someone who is familiar to the house-elves; otherwise they would have addressed whoever it is." Filius reasoned out in, ridiculously, a whisper.
"Well, it's not another house-elf, they just pop in and out. Maybe a teacher?" Pomona theorized quietly. Minerva shook her head.
"Can't be. The house-elves always say hello to the teachers, they think it's disrespectful to ignore members of the faculty. It has to be a student."
"I take it that we're all whispering so as to not startle our visitor?" Dumbledore asked in a low voice that held no little amount of amusement. The other three flushed.
They had reached the table. Now they could hear slight chopping sounds, showing that the house-elves obviously trusted the guest enough to allow him or her to cook in their kitchen. Feeling rather foolish, but much too intrigued to step into the open and disturb the mystery person, the foursome peaked around the tower of dishes.
The visitor was immediately identifiable as a student, and a male. He was short and thin, and wore flannel pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. He was barefoot. His back was to them, but his mop of jet-black hair, along with the neatly folded square of silvery fabric on the counter next to him, told the Professors exactly who he was. The quartet exchange half-exasperated, half-amused looks.
They were about to reveal themselves, but stopped when the entrance swung open again. Oh-no. The person walking swiftly and purposefully towards Harry was none other than Severus Snape. Harry didn't seem to notice the danger he was in, even though he couldn't possibly not here the clicking of Severus' boots as he strode toward the small Seventh Year. Knowing that they should be helping keep Potter away from Snape's wrath, but unable to bring themselves to stop the drama from unfolding, Albus, Filius, Minerva, and Pomona watched.
"Mr. Potter." Severus' voice was suspiciously neutral.
Harry slowly turned to face him. "Professor."
Severus raised an eyebrow. "What exactly are you doing out here, alone, when you should be in bed?"
Harry raised an eyebrow in return. "I suppose I could ask you the same thing."
Their audience gaped. The boy was insane!
Severus stepped forward until he was a hairs-breadth away from the teen, and glared down at him. "I, Mr. Potter, am a Professor, and can therefore do whatever I want. You, however, are a student, and are currently breaking the rules."
The corner of Harry's mouth quirked upwards. "Not really Sir. The kitchen is the domain of the Hogwarts house-elves, not of the Hogwarts faculty. Therefore, when I'm here and in the company of the house-elves, I'm not breaking any rules."
Severus raised both his eyebrows. "Better watch yourself, Mr. Potter. That almost sounded intelligent.
Harry pouted. "Aren't you impressed?"
The four Professors watching the scene exchanged incredulous looks. It almost seemed as if Harry was flirting! With Professor Snape! Severus' next action shocked them beyond anything they had seen as-of-yet.
He looped his arm around Harry's waist, crushing the small teen against his body. His head bent until his nose was almost touching Harry's, and his voice lowered into a purr.
"I am completely, and utterly, and astonishingly unimpressed."
Then Harry's arms were around Severus' neck, and Severus had one hand on Harry's hip and the other on the small of his back, and they were kissing with a fiery passion that had all four of the onlookers, even Albus, flushing slightly. It was the shrill voice of a house-elf that broke the kiss.
"Sirs! Yous is going to be caught!"
Harry glared at the little elf, and then rested his head against Severus' chest.
"He means well."
Harry pulled back a little so he could glare at Severus. "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."
Severus chuckled again. "He's also right, Harry."
Suddenly Harry's expression turned coy. "Have you got any suggestions as to where we can go to avoid being caught?"
Severus smirked. "I did say that you shouldn't be out here alone. You should be in bed."
Harry grinned. "Who's bed?"
Severus leaned in. "That goes without saying."
The four stunned Professors watched the lovers go, and they all knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that next morning, Severus Snape wouldn't be the slightest bit tense.
A/N: There it is! Love it? Hate it? Review please!